In case you haven't noticed
the olympics are here there and everywhere
they are being hosted by china
and the olympics which have the aims of being nice and not being utter prick
are allowed to be hosted by the chinese 'communist' government
solely for the purpose of showing off how good they are at indoctrination
and stealing children from their beds to make them sports stars whether they like or not
what a fucking disgrace
speaking of disgraces
how about some of these fab 'sports' they have on these days
i dont know (and i refuse to find out) what the dictionary definition of sport is
but i think the envelope has been todgered right off the desk into the fireplace with some of these
How about BMX fucking biking
an osstrayan competitor has legally changed his name to 'KAMIKAZE'
i fucking kid you not!
yes, nicole kidman can make a comeback along with all the rest of those tough kids
and win an olympic wreath, nay medal
for riding their dinky little 'bicycle motor cross' thing around a block of land
that was probably requisitioned for 'urgent national pride' from some poor farmer dude
where is the concrete bowl so they can 'drop in'?
along with all the other grown ups on their skateboards
what a bulkace gnarlirad boneless into a handplant screams bwuce mcavaney
or roller blades for that matter
why arent there medals for going backwards along beaconsfield parade and being a huge wanker
hoping desperately that somebody is looking at you?
is if having cross country biking wasnt bad enough...
and it bloody IS!!!
Another top notch 'sport' is synchronised swimming
girlies in sparkly outfits and pegged noses
with their stuck on smiles
wibble about underwater
then stick their legs, or heads or whatever other bit of them out of the water
so free willis can jump over them...
(that would be a sport)
so, why not olympic soggy biscuit competition then, huh?!
speaking of soggy biscuits
I miss the point entirely of beach volleyball
and the suspicion of being had becomes a sledgehammer to the forehead of being had
when you note that the ladies playing wear only the skimpiest little bikinis
which are apparently legislated in all measurements
whilst the blokes can wear their VB singlets and footy shorts
I dont see any ads in the paper for beach newcomb....
did they mislead us in primary school....?
and where is the beach cricket then?
or kick to kick aussie rules on the beach?
There was much sadness absofuckinglutely nowhere when the news came out that baseball
and its frankly hilarious girly sister softball are to be booted from the olympics
ooh boo fucking hoo
baseball, that world game that is played in godblessamerica (hang on, isnt that the whole world?)
and almost nowhere else
and then the softball
i assume it was invented because somebody figured that girlies are too pretty and feeble to play with a baseball
so they got a big furry tennis ball
and a pitcher that winds up like asterix about to biff a roman centurion
and then lobs in Underfuckinghand to the battterperson
what a crock of christmas
arent the lady athletes a bit embarassed that they are playing a condescending sandpit game?
why not olympic rounders
or that ultimate test of skil and stamina,
T-Ball ?
as im not chinese, thank steve
i cant see how table tennis is an olympic sport either
its something you do after school
out in the carport with your twat mates
making up stupid names
how can you be serious about standing around a dinner table
with police traffic paddles trying not to laugh?
when will they bring on olympic around-the-world table tennis?
for that matter
olympic darts and pool
games where you can get drunk and win a bit of metal
untill you accidentally drop it down the loo at the pub
then drop your mobile in too whilst you are fishing around down there...
this im sure is far from a comprehensive list of daft things called 'sport' being 'played' at the olypmics
so go find your own and have your own rant...
beh
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