thinking back now
with my own hands
like the love that we spoke of forever
strange as it may seem
i feel like ive won the cup
the girl done better
a secret message to a happy home
my terror is complete
no need to act tough
they defied the landlords
you poor take courage
the god of greed
end all my fears
i pray this night
you will sail back
I wish that I could remember the first moment that we met
my diary dont even help
i know the days
i waked up in a dry bed
daddy i did
sister come feel
the clock is watching me
two dozen enquiries
nobody can say what the matter is
im sorry to say
to revisit the places we used to go together
keep the phone out of my way
i loved you then
i dont to change the world
they put you on a pedastal
you're a much better fishmonger
everything else is just icing on the cake
the strongman egyptologist
when you walk without peace
now im outside your house
20 years, 7 months and 27 days
you know when we sat out on the fire escaping talking
your sexual politics has left me all in a muddle
and how i loved those evening classes
ten hundred books could i write you
i wouldnt spread such a rumour around
if the women didnt enter into the deal
you will get lost in the universe alone
you will sail back before the day gets bright
when the world falls apart some things stay in place
her husband was one of those blokes
they stitched her back together
you and i were victims
a hot day, the smell of hairspray
late at night a lover thinks of these things
when he drops you off
as long as you come back to me
you said you loved me
You have your reasons, I will not ask...
Friday, June 29, 2007
Thursday, June 28, 2007
facespace was the place
i solemnly declare the following;
dear auntie aggy in cumbernauld in need of a stairlift
with a failing heart of gold for 2 moons and boiling my socks
jason from orrrrrrrrrrrrregon who never abbhoooooooorrrrd the warrrrrrr
he went long from mission beach all the way to puerto penasco/rarrky point
2 scottish girls in a schoolroom cum hostel in the prague burbs
what language were we speaking ?!! what bloody language were they speaking?!!!!!
the tall american dude who taught me the mysteries of grand royal magazine in buda or was it pest?
everyone should have a mullet for a day...
Marisela who's uncle owned the best mexican restaurant on the planet, la jolla baby
hyperbole not required
who threw up on a backjacket and slept with a bloke who could have been my twin
the chinese fellow out the front of the imperial palace in tokyo
we played swapsies with cameras while i claimed to know the difference
rampant unhinged japanese giggling girty, being chased up and down the aisles of a JAL 747 at narita as we taxi
while some fool looks on all pleased coz he's got a spare seat all the way to Kota Kinabalu... I found out what was in her bag alright!
Raewyn the tramper who took me to the edge of Vic Falls, before bringing me back in one piece
then emailed me birthing photos from southern usa years later...ouch
evilgodmara from virginia who chatted the m4 away on a national express
dutifully admired the sin factory at porttaaaalbot and whose room could have been a smoking cold storage facility
Little romain with curls of gold, the cutest little bloke in perigord verd
who knew how to play the fools but lived in fear of the chicken bin
Lauren of the smoky chords, the most earthed being on those long bastard nights at chez camille
getting all and sundry high at the fete de epeluche down by the riverside causing sensory implosion at the bumpercars and fireworks... aiiiia
fabio the gobby little bugger that sent me to go do in a culo in godolphin
before wandering into my flat in via san luca suited and booted as an estate agent
ma che cazzo?
the sound melburnian in ica that knew beavis from pubs in st kilda but just couldnt untangle the 6 degrees of separation... as the maelstrom blew above and around us and some bastard took off second coming
bearded ben who lived in a geodesic dome somewhere on the gower
and knew moley/stumpy/dirty who got famous under a tree or up a motorway
Jules who was smart as pie and made me go all squishy in uplands
whom i 'disappointed' by showing at work on saturday still speeding, legless and shouty and who's water polo bloke did nothing but drool on colleagues and friends breasts and made her cry
darling Lilly the Japanese/Peruvian guide that you could keep in your pocket-pocket guide?
ushering fools up and down andean mountains til the mythical macchu picchu
handing out anti inflammataries, spotting bears and being so cute you just wanted to take her home
Dr Juvenal who was no doctor and had nothing to do with perry farrell
his pollo jokes and stale bread made all the salt in uyuni worthwhile
yo soy simon bolivar el libertadore del cinco pollos... so bog off
dear auntie aggy in cumbernauld in need of a stairlift
with a failing heart of gold for 2 moons and boiling my socks
jason from orrrrrrrrrrrrregon who never abbhoooooooorrrrd the warrrrrrr
he went long from mission beach all the way to puerto penasco/rarrky point
2 scottish girls in a schoolroom cum hostel in the prague burbs
what language were we speaking ?!! what bloody language were they speaking?!!!!!
the tall american dude who taught me the mysteries of grand royal magazine in buda or was it pest?
everyone should have a mullet for a day...
Marisela who's uncle owned the best mexican restaurant on the planet, la jolla baby
hyperbole not required
who threw up on a backjacket and slept with a bloke who could have been my twin
the chinese fellow out the front of the imperial palace in tokyo
we played swapsies with cameras while i claimed to know the difference
rampant unhinged japanese giggling girty, being chased up and down the aisles of a JAL 747 at narita as we taxi
while some fool looks on all pleased coz he's got a spare seat all the way to Kota Kinabalu... I found out what was in her bag alright!
Raewyn the tramper who took me to the edge of Vic Falls, before bringing me back in one piece
then emailed me birthing photos from southern usa years later...ouch
evilgodmara from virginia who chatted the m4 away on a national express
dutifully admired the sin factory at porttaaaalbot and whose room could have been a smoking cold storage facility
Little romain with curls of gold, the cutest little bloke in perigord verd
who knew how to play the fools but lived in fear of the chicken bin
Lauren of the smoky chords, the most earthed being on those long bastard nights at chez camille
getting all and sundry high at the fete de epeluche down by the riverside causing sensory implosion at the bumpercars and fireworks... aiiiia
fabio the gobby little bugger that sent me to go do in a culo in godolphin
before wandering into my flat in via san luca suited and booted as an estate agent
ma che cazzo?
the sound melburnian in ica that knew beavis from pubs in st kilda but just couldnt untangle the 6 degrees of separation... as the maelstrom blew above and around us and some bastard took off second coming
bearded ben who lived in a geodesic dome somewhere on the gower
and knew moley/stumpy/dirty who got famous under a tree or up a motorway
Jules who was smart as pie and made me go all squishy in uplands
whom i 'disappointed' by showing at work on saturday still speeding, legless and shouty and who's water polo bloke did nothing but drool on colleagues and friends breasts and made her cry
darling Lilly the Japanese/Peruvian guide that you could keep in your pocket-pocket guide?
ushering fools up and down andean mountains til the mythical macchu picchu
handing out anti inflammataries, spotting bears and being so cute you just wanted to take her home
Dr Juvenal who was no doctor and had nothing to do with perry farrell
his pollo jokes and stale bread made all the salt in uyuni worthwhile
yo soy simon bolivar el libertadore del cinco pollos... so bog off
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
things that make me go crank
the han chinese in tibet
the javanese indonesians in West Papua
the Moroccans in West Sahara
the unnecessary pomposity of castillion
the arab sudanese in Darfur
the smugness of the french
the catalans that wont shut up
the celebrity culture
the israelis in Palestine
the saesnegs in Cymru
the cultural poverty of the americanisation that pervades the planet
the pink polo-shirted fuckers in the Prince of Wales
the concentration of media ownership
the turks forgetting the armenian genocide
the poles trying to make the eu catholic
the fact that corporations hold more power than elected representatives
the yanks in american (sic)Samoa, okinawa, diego garcia, bermuda, hawaii, iraq, afghanistan, sardinia, the val d'aosta, wherever the hell else they are...
the muslim morons that want to implement sharia law anywhere
the Liberal pricks in canberra
the populist idiots in venezuela
the leeches in cuzco
the pond scum squawking baksheesh in the land of the pharoahs
the publishers of the herald sun
the jjj tshirts in the burbs
the smell of the napalm in the early evening
the irresponsible march of globalism
the bastards of gunn destroying tasmania
the junta in burma that locks up ang etc etc
the cynical maggots that play the race card at election time
the daily torigraph
the futility of it all
the wankers that make current affairs telly/reality tv the world over
Silvio fucking Berlusconi
the marketing/PR/sales fools that insist on breathing
the big brother mentality of russian/soviet/cis governance
the religious fools of any prescription...
the muslims in europe who plan its downfall/murder its citizens/abuse fellow immigrants whilst exploiting it to the maximum
the ecuadorians/ukranians/albanians/russians/colombians/maghrebis that soil the bel paese
the breathtaking ignorance of 'americans' %35 believe the bible literally, %14 have passports
the noise new zealand types make when they slaughter their vowels
the tedium that is rugby league
the latent racism that lies in the hearts of so many australians
the hoodoo gurus album of the same name
the privatisation of public space
the fact that i broke the aerial so i cant watch sbs
the cliches that always come true
the horrible little man that cannot be named
the nobody knows my pain or suffering of teenagers
the jews that claim they are the chosen people
the systematic abuse of animals in intensive farming
mullets
the drivel that commercial radio plays
the whingeing of snotty nosed me
the stuffing of innocents in phone booths
the raging against the dying of the light
that i braked that fateful sunday morning in king st
the javanese indonesians in West Papua
the Moroccans in West Sahara
the unnecessary pomposity of castillion
the arab sudanese in Darfur
the smugness of the french
the catalans that wont shut up
the celebrity culture
the israelis in Palestine
the saesnegs in Cymru
the cultural poverty of the americanisation that pervades the planet
the pink polo-shirted fuckers in the Prince of Wales
the concentration of media ownership
the turks forgetting the armenian genocide
the poles trying to make the eu catholic
the fact that corporations hold more power than elected representatives
the yanks in american (sic)Samoa, okinawa, diego garcia, bermuda, hawaii, iraq, afghanistan, sardinia, the val d'aosta, wherever the hell else they are...
the muslim morons that want to implement sharia law anywhere
the Liberal pricks in canberra
the populist idiots in venezuela
the leeches in cuzco
the pond scum squawking baksheesh in the land of the pharoahs
the publishers of the herald sun
the jjj tshirts in the burbs
the smell of the napalm in the early evening
the irresponsible march of globalism
the bastards of gunn destroying tasmania
the junta in burma that locks up ang etc etc
the cynical maggots that play the race card at election time
the daily torigraph
the futility of it all
the wankers that make current affairs telly/reality tv the world over
Silvio fucking Berlusconi
the marketing/PR/sales fools that insist on breathing
the big brother mentality of russian/soviet/cis governance
the religious fools of any prescription...
the muslims in europe who plan its downfall/murder its citizens/abuse fellow immigrants whilst exploiting it to the maximum
the ecuadorians/ukranians/albanians/russians/colombians/maghrebis that soil the bel paese
the breathtaking ignorance of 'americans' %35 believe the bible literally, %14 have passports
the noise new zealand types make when they slaughter their vowels
the tedium that is rugby league
the latent racism that lies in the hearts of so many australians
the hoodoo gurus album of the same name
the privatisation of public space
the fact that i broke the aerial so i cant watch sbs
the cliches that always come true
the horrible little man that cannot be named
the nobody knows my pain or suffering of teenagers
the jews that claim they are the chosen people
the systematic abuse of animals in intensive farming
mullets
the drivel that commercial radio plays
the whingeing of snotty nosed me
the stuffing of innocents in phone booths
the raging against the dying of the light
that i braked that fateful sunday morning in king st
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
il super lamentone
Ive got this cold deal
its really, really getting on my tits
not that theres all that much to get on
when i cough my brain shakes
and its hurts...
i can feel it bouncing off the sides of my head
fuckign ARSE!
better schlep another lolly thing
ahh thats better
stream of consciousness blog
what else is there to bitch about?
my nose is running
like the mother of all metaphors
you just cant look down
otherwise it takes its cue
and gushes out
forming pools of nasty on the pillow
imagery baby!
and bloody bloody blood noses!
they always come in handy
just when you think its safe to blow your nose
it gets all red and horrid
funk dat
its not even october
but where the hell does that come from?
sure, put me on a plane and my nose will crank it out
no eyelids battered
not like qualities of a fish
gravel etc.
but with a cold
oh just fuck off
lets not forget sleep disturbance
i know thats a favourite of all you families at home
you wake up every 14 mins precisely
snorting and suffocating as your lungs scream for air
and your nose tells it to get bent
only to fall pitifuly back into a miserable semi slumber
for 14 minutes until it all starts again
snuffle, schnortle.. gasp
fucccccckkkkkkkkkkkkkk!
along with disturbed sleep comes its great mate fuzzy brain
whats that?
youd like to be able to string a sentence together?
youd like to be vaguely comprehensible?
youd like to be able to type a word with one syllable?
youd dare want to be able to concentrate until the end of a sentence or the 15 seconds of telly so you can find out whodunnit?
youd like to be able to differentiate between a 'q' and a 'm'?
no, screw you!
inchorent you were born and incoherent you shall remain
arsewipe
one cant bitch and moan about a cold
and leave out sneezing
strangely pleasant from some angles
until your bones start rattling
and your brain too
and you just feel dopey and need to lie down
coz some molecules have been disturbed in your 'ed
and thrusted unwillingly at your proboscis
fucker
another all time fave is deafness
what? you say...
well fuck you smartarse..
i cant hear you so i dont care
i cant hear ed kuepper on the stereo
being all portentious
and banging on about how superb he is
mysteriously though
and this is food for thought
the muppet upstairs smashing the floor above my bed at precisely 8am
i can make out every hammer blow
every carpet rip
every whatever the hell else renovating carpenting homy-fixy sort of blokes do
must be like dogs hearing
with whistles and wotnot...
coz i can hear every slam, bam, rip, schlock and whack
bouncing and reverbing,
penetrating under the afore mentioned ultra 'you can do headstands in your sanitary napkin' thin layer of rest and recovery that is supposed to encase your febrile mind until all is well or at least on that track with hiking boots
almost forgot, no well i did forget...
temperatures going haywire
left arm too cold?
throw on a jacket
oh shit
now the right shoulder blade is overheated and melting down
sweat pouring down your furrowed self-pitying brow
take off that big hood thing
pants
now the neck is getting some kind of frostbite
icicles forming on hairline
so, very, cold
left iris got the chills?
crank up the heating
ouch!
that was a kidney liquefying
happy happy joy joy
its really, really getting on my tits
not that theres all that much to get on
when i cough my brain shakes
and its hurts...
i can feel it bouncing off the sides of my head
fuckign ARSE!
better schlep another lolly thing
ahh thats better
stream of consciousness blog
what else is there to bitch about?
my nose is running
like the mother of all metaphors
you just cant look down
otherwise it takes its cue
and gushes out
forming pools of nasty on the pillow
imagery baby!
and bloody bloody blood noses!
they always come in handy
just when you think its safe to blow your nose
it gets all red and horrid
funk dat
its not even october
but where the hell does that come from?
sure, put me on a plane and my nose will crank it out
no eyelids battered
not like qualities of a fish
gravel etc.
but with a cold
oh just fuck off
lets not forget sleep disturbance
i know thats a favourite of all you families at home
you wake up every 14 mins precisely
snorting and suffocating as your lungs scream for air
and your nose tells it to get bent
only to fall pitifuly back into a miserable semi slumber
for 14 minutes until it all starts again
snuffle, schnortle.. gasp
fucccccckkkkkkkkkkkkkk!
along with disturbed sleep comes its great mate fuzzy brain
whats that?
youd like to be able to string a sentence together?
youd like to be vaguely comprehensible?
youd like to be able to type a word with one syllable?
youd dare want to be able to concentrate until the end of a sentence or the 15 seconds of telly so you can find out whodunnit?
youd like to be able to differentiate between a 'q' and a 'm'?
no, screw you!
inchorent you were born and incoherent you shall remain
arsewipe
one cant bitch and moan about a cold
and leave out sneezing
strangely pleasant from some angles
until your bones start rattling
and your brain too
and you just feel dopey and need to lie down
coz some molecules have been disturbed in your 'ed
and thrusted unwillingly at your proboscis
fucker
another all time fave is deafness
what? you say...
well fuck you smartarse..
i cant hear you so i dont care
i cant hear ed kuepper on the stereo
being all portentious
and banging on about how superb he is
mysteriously though
and this is food for thought
the muppet upstairs smashing the floor above my bed at precisely 8am
i can make out every hammer blow
every carpet rip
every whatever the hell else renovating carpenting homy-fixy sort of blokes do
must be like dogs hearing
with whistles and wotnot...
coz i can hear every slam, bam, rip, schlock and whack
bouncing and reverbing,
penetrating under the afore mentioned ultra 'you can do headstands in your sanitary napkin' thin layer of rest and recovery that is supposed to encase your febrile mind until all is well or at least on that track with hiking boots
almost forgot, no well i did forget...
temperatures going haywire
left arm too cold?
throw on a jacket
oh shit
now the right shoulder blade is overheated and melting down
sweat pouring down your furrowed self-pitying brow
take off that big hood thing
pants
now the neck is getting some kind of frostbite
icicles forming on hairline
so, very, cold
left iris got the chills?
crank up the heating
ouch!
that was a kidney liquefying
happy happy joy joy
Monday, June 25, 2007
caroline said
option #2...
there was a young man from Bastardo
when he was 3 whilst chasing Pan
he fell down a big mine (of which there are many in the traditional Paese Nero surrounding Bastardo
he rolled and tumbled endlessly and fell unconscious after dashing his head on a wolverine shaped protuberance
when he awoke he discovered that he had accidentally swallowed some San Pedro cactus - at leasts that's what he told his Evil Step-Uncle
and began hallucinating and seeing creatures from watership down emerging from railside shrubbery and strange flashing lights that didnt even flash
oh fuck, he thought
and a beaver that flashed different phosphorescent colours
it made him feel rather queasy, so he asked it 'please signore beaver, dont flash me so'
and his risposte was 'i shall cease my chameleonic changing and remain lime and lime only if you promise to lead a virtual life of lies, deceit and intrigue and take on my name'
which sounded like a good deal to the young man from Bastardo
So he assented 'alright guvnor, sorted'
the beaver flashed one last brilliant time and settled on an eerie lime, before winking knowingly at him and scurrying off amongst the rocks and the abandoned shopping trollies.
as he scratched his back with a 4 pronged stick he felt convinced he could deceive that beaver and never plumb those depths of depravity and live a fulfilling life of varied and many rich experiences
but he didnt... sad git
there was a young man from Bastardo
when he was 3 whilst chasing Pan
he fell down a big mine (of which there are many in the traditional Paese Nero surrounding Bastardo
he rolled and tumbled endlessly and fell unconscious after dashing his head on a wolverine shaped protuberance
when he awoke he discovered that he had accidentally swallowed some San Pedro cactus - at leasts that's what he told his Evil Step-Uncle
and began hallucinating and seeing creatures from watership down emerging from railside shrubbery and strange flashing lights that didnt even flash
oh fuck, he thought
and a beaver that flashed different phosphorescent colours
it made him feel rather queasy, so he asked it 'please signore beaver, dont flash me so'
and his risposte was 'i shall cease my chameleonic changing and remain lime and lime only if you promise to lead a virtual life of lies, deceit and intrigue and take on my name'
which sounded like a good deal to the young man from Bastardo
So he assented 'alright guvnor, sorted'
the beaver flashed one last brilliant time and settled on an eerie lime, before winking knowingly at him and scurrying off amongst the rocks and the abandoned shopping trollies.
as he scratched his back with a 4 pronged stick he felt convinced he could deceive that beaver and never plumb those depths of depravity and live a fulfilling life of varied and many rich experiences
but he didnt... sad git
Friday, June 22, 2007
partyface
not to forget (or mention)...
those 2 groovy frenchlings we met in Creel,
the minxy blonde one and the luvverly Claire from Lyon
bon nuit and sneaky photos of a bloke in big stupid trousers
fun quebecois who shared our truck in the salaar di uyuni
suffering mr the twats 'impressive' stories
or Taka the nicest man in Tokyo
who vomited out the taxi door after a strange drinking competition
Lovely old couple/hotel managers in Kyoto
driving a fool around with a tv on the dashboard
the former ANC fighter who trained and fought in Angola
telling his stories in a hostel in knysna
Sound Italian manager/dealer of huanchaco
so happy to have so many italian speakers in one place
and beavis...
helpful alitalia lady in Prague office, grazie mille
Writing fibby little stories on official letterhead
Mortens blondefest mate Sven?
demanding i chew my baccy and another round in the gothenburg sports bar
Linda the dog walker from engerland somewhere
horrendous food poisoning sufferer thanks to nile boat fools
fighting the good fight and sampling the aftershock
double belgian couple trouble in the 'camping' in Cap Corse
except he was dutch and they lived on sakhalin
wine with your mosquitos anyone?
Crazy Canadian Coyote Cal (honestly a writer in hollywood) in Erendira, Baja
First customers ever, saw your brick of dope in half, play slicky tricky pool but DO NOT watch the big lebowski
ickle Megumi 'Ie' on the beach south of Tokyo
with a (shock!) slab of kirin, fireworks and a crush on tak-thankyouverymuch
Christines ex Damian of Kentucky Forest Hills
looking familiar and then very drunk in Innsbruck hostelbar
Insane Australian Half man-half bull in the westbourne
nose ring, long hair, 76ft 3',and a stoned espanola in tow
or Nacho the disgruntled Spaniard
cranky coz all laughed at him in the mexican restaurant where he worked as a waiter
Pretty Great Carmen in Valencia who believed in God, lamented spains loss of grandeur
and was amazed i couldnt tell the difference in pronunciation between carrejeros and caballeros... damned fool I am!
Bellamy of the bottom, manager of Hip Hop-1 free beer-hostel in Capetown
writing gob smacking stories in my diary, which I could only read on the overnight torment of coach to Johannesburg, never to return...
Roberta, brother in law of Raffaella in Bergamo
DHL employee, foreign banknote collector and exquisite dinner maker
the most unfortunate blonde australian backpacker on the ferry from Santorini to Pireaus
tales of sleeping on island beaches, Thomas cook's treachery and missing red converses...
those 2 groovy frenchlings we met in Creel,
the minxy blonde one and the luvverly Claire from Lyon
bon nuit and sneaky photos of a bloke in big stupid trousers
fun quebecois who shared our truck in the salaar di uyuni
suffering mr the twats 'impressive' stories
or Taka the nicest man in Tokyo
who vomited out the taxi door after a strange drinking competition
Lovely old couple/hotel managers in Kyoto
driving a fool around with a tv on the dashboard
the former ANC fighter who trained and fought in Angola
telling his stories in a hostel in knysna
Sound Italian manager/dealer of huanchaco
so happy to have so many italian speakers in one place
and beavis...
helpful alitalia lady in Prague office, grazie mille
Writing fibby little stories on official letterhead
Mortens blondefest mate Sven?
demanding i chew my baccy and another round in the gothenburg sports bar
Linda the dog walker from engerland somewhere
horrendous food poisoning sufferer thanks to nile boat fools
fighting the good fight and sampling the aftershock
double belgian couple trouble in the 'camping' in Cap Corse
except he was dutch and they lived on sakhalin
wine with your mosquitos anyone?
Crazy Canadian Coyote Cal (honestly a writer in hollywood) in Erendira, Baja
First customers ever, saw your brick of dope in half, play slicky tricky pool but DO NOT watch the big lebowski
ickle Megumi 'Ie' on the beach south of Tokyo
with a (shock!) slab of kirin, fireworks and a crush on tak-thankyouverymuch
Christines ex Damian of Kentucky Forest Hills
looking familiar and then very drunk in Innsbruck hostelbar
Insane Australian Half man-half bull in the westbourne
nose ring, long hair, 76ft 3',and a stoned espanola in tow
or Nacho the disgruntled Spaniard
cranky coz all laughed at him in the mexican restaurant where he worked as a waiter
Pretty Great Carmen in Valencia who believed in God, lamented spains loss of grandeur
and was amazed i couldnt tell the difference in pronunciation between carrejeros and caballeros... damned fool I am!
Bellamy of the bottom, manager of Hip Hop-1 free beer-hostel in Capetown
writing gob smacking stories in my diary, which I could only read on the overnight torment of coach to Johannesburg, never to return...
Roberta, brother in law of Raffaella in Bergamo
DHL employee, foreign banknote collector and exquisite dinner maker
the most unfortunate blonde australian backpacker on the ferry from Santorini to Pireaus
tales of sleeping on island beaches, Thomas cook's treachery and missing red converses...
Thursday, June 21, 2007
bookface
everybody lines up
they point their sticks out that way
they plug in their bottom buttons
scan their photos
snivelly shorts and all
sitting in bristol
sitting in moscow
sitting in the kitchen
maybe even sitting on their seats
dont bloody ask me
come up with a natty catchphrase
unlock their footbox
and see who is out there
i have 8 friends
ha!
i had 58 not that long ago
but some things happened
the whole adam and steve charade
someone found the keys
and let out all the bats
told all those stories
about small men
and plums in that ladies mouth
so then it fell off
now, i just need to track down;
that bloke with the guitar and ponytail in Creel
hanging in the copper canyons and who turned off the bar lights?
the dubliner in berlin
doing guided pub tours and explaining its guinness fault hes fat
james joyce can go to a spa
that big dumb american in interlaken who said hey big guy
and wanted to know what was up...He may not have been taking the piss
sharrrrnta who was indignant and a bit too smart in rome
mrs adrianne and her hospitality in arizona
glenda the sound kiwi guy on a truck all over africa
who called me lemonhead, screamed 'BAFFFFFOON', then sent me his t shirt
good bloke from up norf who was my nairobi mate for a day and a half
but he wanted to see a gorilla
the bloke from jersey or guernsey who got drunk with me in auckland
and was in trub with the taxman if he went home
the cool couple from queensland who played in Krakow
we dined and i ranted about the mistreatment of aborigines, missing the point entirely
the cute waitress girl in kosice who posed and then wrote
went to the US to be a nanny
the polish lady in west london pub lunching with dad
smiling at my jin dobre
the bi portuguese bloke who cooked his toasties in the westbourne and taught me bastardo
then i ignored him years later in carnaby st
the daft kiwi who wanted a rugby contest in bergen
i just dont care and he just wouldnt believe it
the christian anna in swansea who built huts in zimbabwe near the mozambique border
the super red haired girl on the plane from tokyo
who drank vodka and orange and smoke with me in the thoughtfully provided part-time smokers seats on JAL planes...sigh
the sweet israeli guy in iguazu hostel
telling tales of dodgy packs of israelis
man he had a point
that very very very attractive girl in Ica, that someone thought was a prostitute
who nearly caused a kidney failure, to club or not to club?
those darling little 2 norwegian girls in salisbury
identikit twins in all their sweet blondeness and separation anxiety
sweet mrs crossley, angsty at first
taking me swimming and pinting at the posho essex country club
lovely girl in edinburgh for hogmany
kissing everybody with her cold sore, except me
mad drunk jamie and dawn in swansea
who adopted me and then got beaten up by bouncers
Janes cute backpacker buddy katrina
the final piece of the bizarre love quadrangle
who shocked me in front of the sacre coeur
merrill from las vegas who shared my room in budapest
showed that americans can be cool
but had moved to Colorado by the time i got to the US
the three sweet middle aged ladies in plastic factory in Swansea Enterprise Park, Parc Anturiaeth Abertawe... oooh errr...llansamlet
Just as sweet and bemused in '99 as in '96: accounts and reception, do you want a cup of tea?
Si the gaming nutbag in Henley on Thames
practicing his playstation moves as he worked and rushing off home for a spliff at lunchtime...
Kate from Russia, furthering herself in Salsibury
with the bad glasses and blue jeans who fell off the earth near Sevilla
and Keith who put it in deep...
they point their sticks out that way
they plug in their bottom buttons
scan their photos
snivelly shorts and all
sitting in bristol
sitting in moscow
sitting in the kitchen
maybe even sitting on their seats
dont bloody ask me
come up with a natty catchphrase
unlock their footbox
and see who is out there
i have 8 friends
ha!
i had 58 not that long ago
but some things happened
the whole adam and steve charade
someone found the keys
and let out all the bats
told all those stories
about small men
and plums in that ladies mouth
so then it fell off
now, i just need to track down;
that bloke with the guitar and ponytail in Creel
hanging in the copper canyons and who turned off the bar lights?
the dubliner in berlin
doing guided pub tours and explaining its guinness fault hes fat
james joyce can go to a spa
that big dumb american in interlaken who said hey big guy
and wanted to know what was up...He may not have been taking the piss
sharrrrnta who was indignant and a bit too smart in rome
mrs adrianne and her hospitality in arizona
glenda the sound kiwi guy on a truck all over africa
who called me lemonhead, screamed 'BAFFFFFOON', then sent me his t shirt
good bloke from up norf who was my nairobi mate for a day and a half
but he wanted to see a gorilla
the bloke from jersey or guernsey who got drunk with me in auckland
and was in trub with the taxman if he went home
the cool couple from queensland who played in Krakow
we dined and i ranted about the mistreatment of aborigines, missing the point entirely
the cute waitress girl in kosice who posed and then wrote
went to the US to be a nanny
the polish lady in west london pub lunching with dad
smiling at my jin dobre
the bi portuguese bloke who cooked his toasties in the westbourne and taught me bastardo
then i ignored him years later in carnaby st
the daft kiwi who wanted a rugby contest in bergen
i just dont care and he just wouldnt believe it
the christian anna in swansea who built huts in zimbabwe near the mozambique border
the super red haired girl on the plane from tokyo
who drank vodka and orange and smoke with me in the thoughtfully provided part-time smokers seats on JAL planes...sigh
the sweet israeli guy in iguazu hostel
telling tales of dodgy packs of israelis
man he had a point
that very very very attractive girl in Ica, that someone thought was a prostitute
who nearly caused a kidney failure, to club or not to club?
those darling little 2 norwegian girls in salisbury
identikit twins in all their sweet blondeness and separation anxiety
sweet mrs crossley, angsty at first
taking me swimming and pinting at the posho essex country club
lovely girl in edinburgh for hogmany
kissing everybody with her cold sore, except me
mad drunk jamie and dawn in swansea
who adopted me and then got beaten up by bouncers
Janes cute backpacker buddy katrina
the final piece of the bizarre love quadrangle
who shocked me in front of the sacre coeur
merrill from las vegas who shared my room in budapest
showed that americans can be cool
but had moved to Colorado by the time i got to the US
the three sweet middle aged ladies in plastic factory in Swansea Enterprise Park, Parc Anturiaeth Abertawe... oooh errr...llansamlet
Just as sweet and bemused in '99 as in '96: accounts and reception, do you want a cup of tea?
Si the gaming nutbag in Henley on Thames
practicing his playstation moves as he worked and rushing off home for a spliff at lunchtime...
Kate from Russia, furthering herself in Salsibury
with the bad glasses and blue jeans who fell off the earth near Sevilla
and Keith who put it in deep...
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
i reckon ive got a lot of ideas
i had this corker of an idea
it was going to be a grate blog
full of thrills
gills
and smelly-bakes
it was going to have a reader in raptures
nothing to do with big death
or bollocks religion
just fascination at the superb wordplay
and insightful social commentary
it was going to be a fab, fab thing
but it didnt
but i wasnt
but you couldnt
you see
it just up and left
no down and right
that super concept that was going to happen
it got otherwise engaged
it had to do something relevant
and that bit of brainspace was filled with other roba
completely bloody useless stuff at that
whats it all about?
the screaming and the shouting?
dont ask J Lydon
coz he told you so
shore
you might say
9 was a sound album
armada, happy et al
we're having a party!
not to mention disappointed...
well isnt crap
what friends are for?
thatd be a lazy digression
that could be an attempted cover up
of a complete dearth of ideas
but an overwhelming sense of compunction
same old story...
it was going to be a grate blog
full of thrills
gills
and smelly-bakes
it was going to have a reader in raptures
nothing to do with big death
or bollocks religion
just fascination at the superb wordplay
and insightful social commentary
it was going to be a fab, fab thing
but it didnt
but i wasnt
but you couldnt
you see
it just up and left
no down and right
that super concept that was going to happen
it got otherwise engaged
it had to do something relevant
and that bit of brainspace was filled with other roba
completely bloody useless stuff at that
whats it all about?
the screaming and the shouting?
dont ask J Lydon
coz he told you so
shore
you might say
9 was a sound album
armada, happy et al
we're having a party!
not to mention disappointed...
well isnt crap
what friends are for?
thatd be a lazy digression
that could be an attempted cover up
of a complete dearth of ideas
but an overwhelming sense of compunction
same old story...
Monday, June 18, 2007
no more good news at all
the suicide bomb is a new tactic
the police still arent used to coping
come to kabul
ordinary civilians
south of the country
a city wide open to attack
online
gerry adams
run all over canberra
lewis's team mate
from the very first corner
a blend of pure delight
and pure relief
up against our other major trading partners
ike for president
time was
doesnt have to be squeaky clean
entertaining results
this is ridiculous
gone are the days of the good old fashioned jingle
mild in vancouver
doing some final repair work
goodnight
the police still arent used to coping
come to kabul
ordinary civilians
south of the country
a city wide open to attack
online
gerry adams
run all over canberra
lewis's team mate
from the very first corner
a blend of pure delight
and pure relief
up against our other major trading partners
ike for president
time was
doesnt have to be squeaky clean
entertaining results
this is ridiculous
gone are the days of the good old fashioned jingle
mild in vancouver
doing some final repair work
goodnight
Sunday, June 17, 2007
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
god save the queens birthday
some old english bird had a birthday
it wasnt this week
its in Mars or something
that dont matter
we cant still have a day off
i think it was frederica mercurio
i thought she was dead
or was that the queens brother?
what disrespect
so fredericas not dead
well what will ian astbury do when he breaks up with jim morrisson hostel?
so at precisely 4.56, 11.56, 20.56 and 29.56 i got down on my big map of the world and prayed towards the oversized pink bit
and was greatful to the fact that some halfwit vikings come frenchmen invaded a crapola island 900 years ago
ever since they have shagged their sisters
and gradually become ever more inbred and daft
then made thousands of men slaughter eachother while they played tiddlewinks
and talked all toff like
screwthemvis
an empire was born
based upon greed and racism
and it was one of the better ones
ththththththththth wouldve been worse
or jsjsjsjsjsjssjjsjs for that matter
or letwatwtwatwtawtawtwtwattwat
or hckchchskhsscccchchchchchsplit
so we got that one
and we were a part of the umpire
until the umpire got done
and then we became part of the new umpire
from snooty and anal
to crass and ugly
but we kept all the good things
westminster system
irony
bad food
lack of social skills
alcohol abuse
tea
left side driving
cricket
dodgy residency rights
fear of openness
those crappest of crap games
the junket of olympiad
the young ones
that ugly thing on the flag
and the royal family
all over the coinage
all over the government
and all over the shitful magazines
theres no future in australias dreaming...
it wasnt this week
its in Mars or something
that dont matter
we cant still have a day off
i think it was frederica mercurio
i thought she was dead
or was that the queens brother?
what disrespect
so fredericas not dead
well what will ian astbury do when he breaks up with jim morrisson hostel?
so at precisely 4.56, 11.56, 20.56 and 29.56 i got down on my big map of the world and prayed towards the oversized pink bit
and was greatful to the fact that some halfwit vikings come frenchmen invaded a crapola island 900 years ago
ever since they have shagged their sisters
and gradually become ever more inbred and daft
then made thousands of men slaughter eachother while they played tiddlewinks
and talked all toff like
screwthemvis
an empire was born
based upon greed and racism
and it was one of the better ones
ththththththththth wouldve been worse
or jsjsjsjsjsjssjjsjs for that matter
or letwatwtwatwtawtawtwtwattwat
or hckchchskhsscccchchchchchsplit
so we got that one
and we were a part of the umpire
until the umpire got done
and then we became part of the new umpire
from snooty and anal
to crass and ugly
but we kept all the good things
westminster system
irony
bad food
lack of social skills
alcohol abuse
tea
left side driving
cricket
dodgy residency rights
fear of openness
those crappest of crap games
the junket of olympiad
the young ones
that ugly thing on the flag
and the royal family
all over the coinage
all over the government
and all over the shitful magazines
theres no future in australias dreaming...
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
Beavis; The Album
track listing;
1.beavisisprobablygay.com
2.embryo
3.he still has a strange attraction to women with faces like hers
4.blimey fish-the extended dance mix
5.pete baby pete pete baby baby pete baby - repeat
6.post nasal drip
7.anal intruder, you know you want it - from the musical of the same name
8.the leon who loved me
9.i want you backflip
10.vanessa did what in the car in surrey hills?
11.i love my mum
12.in an impure manner
13.is she really going with pete..?
14.maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaggot
15.do you know summer holiday by beavis sux?
16.back seat taxiderrrrrrrrrmist
17.standing arounds (doo wop wop wop)
18.no you settle down travis
19.Dont you want me Nigel?
20.up yours i may be a great big whiffy homosexual but i sonofasherillbutistillsuckmorethan you
All music written by T.Avis (except 10-written by P.Pino) and (18 written by Nuggois). Lyrics by B.Munch. all instruments played by the band except track 5. portfolio played by N.Ige. Copyright F.knocker music.Recorded at Maggoty Sounds Studio, Spofforth, Islanda. 2007
1.beavisisprobablygay.com
2.embryo
3.he still has a strange attraction to women with faces like hers
4.blimey fish-the extended dance mix
5.pete baby pete pete baby baby pete baby - repeat
6.post nasal drip
7.anal intruder, you know you want it - from the musical of the same name
8.the leon who loved me
9.i want you backflip
10.vanessa did what in the car in surrey hills?
11.i love my mum
12.in an impure manner
13.is she really going with pete..?
14.maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaggot
15.do you know summer holiday by beavis sux?
16.back seat taxiderrrrrrrrrmist
17.standing arounds (doo wop wop wop)
18.no you settle down travis
19.Dont you want me Nigel?
20.up yours i may be a great big whiffy homosexual but i sonofasherillbutistillsuckmorethan you
All music written by T.Avis (except 10-written by P.Pino) and (18 written by Nuggois). Lyrics by B.Munch. all instruments played by the band except track 5. portfolio played by N.Ige. Copyright F.knocker music.Recorded at Maggoty Sounds Studio, Spofforth, Islanda. 2007
Monday, June 11, 2007
up your rrrs tism
les murray is a magyar
and he knows how to gad about with a polo neck jobbie on
hed be on my invite list to the dinner party from which there was no turning back abandon all hope ye who munch here
andrew orsatti is something to do with pronto bears
thatd be a good name for a nad hockey team in the desert
may well have plaid for fishcara
knows his way around a dialect
Tony Plumbow will knock you senseless with his eye obscene size package parcel cases
puo darsi che sia un terrone...
wot a geezer like!
fozzie fozzie fozzie
a long line of shit beer is his lineage
frank blackateepee is a good un
is he a sandwicher or a bikinese?
damien lovelock is a legend car
and he knows peter koppes
that other andrew bloke is a gleek
couldnt pronounce his way into a brothel of monosyllabic cheese whores
and rubbish
the other bloke is just ho hum
might prove to be okay
probly not tho
looks largely on the gormless boat steering class to me
and blonde birdy bird had more mouth than most
ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
then there was other birdy bird
something with allbranz
ubermensch?
must have been good
got stolen by crrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrap channel pants/bollocks
dont matter which it is
they are pretty much the same thing anyway
brank of cowards
thatd be a crow nation i reckon
squishy faced fooker
and how about nedfest?
5'8
9'3 with the ego
what simply fascinating treatise this is proving to be
and he knows how to gad about with a polo neck jobbie on
hed be on my invite list to the dinner party from which there was no turning back abandon all hope ye who munch here
andrew orsatti is something to do with pronto bears
thatd be a good name for a nad hockey team in the desert
may well have plaid for fishcara
knows his way around a dialect
Tony Plumbow will knock you senseless with his eye obscene size package parcel cases
puo darsi che sia un terrone...
wot a geezer like!
fozzie fozzie fozzie
a long line of shit beer is his lineage
frank blackateepee is a good un
is he a sandwicher or a bikinese?
damien lovelock is a legend car
and he knows peter koppes
that other andrew bloke is a gleek
couldnt pronounce his way into a brothel of monosyllabic cheese whores
and rubbish
the other bloke is just ho hum
might prove to be okay
probly not tho
looks largely on the gormless boat steering class to me
and blonde birdy bird had more mouth than most
ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
then there was other birdy bird
something with allbranz
ubermensch?
must have been good
got stolen by crrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrap channel pants/bollocks
dont matter which it is
they are pretty much the same thing anyway
brank of cowards
thatd be a crow nation i reckon
squishy faced fooker
and how about nedfest?
5'8
9'3 with the ego
what simply fascinating treatise this is proving to be
Saturday, June 09, 2007
flat
-----------------------------------------------
phhhhhhht
phhhhhhht
all the airs gorn
-----------------------------------------------
phhhhhhht
phhhhhhht
all the airs gorn
-----------------------------------------------
Friday, June 08, 2007
little green beer monster
here he comes again
sneaking around just outside
i think i saw him peering in the window
with that horrid beak thing
bastard
where does he come from?
i bet its slimy there
hes never actually in sight
always in the periphery
fucker
the strange shadow moving behind the fronds
it seems that he never really sods off
just hanging about there
waiting for me to slip
maggot
its nothing personal mind
it never bloody is
warts on all his extremities
skulking over there
prick
his got a friend too
the fag monster
when hes holding you down
fag monster shows up and shafts your lungs
i suspect its a whale and limpet deal
they work in tandom
luckily there arent others about
stronzo
must have some kind of wand to cast his spells of boredom or misery
just one drizzle and its chocks away
its all over
self control taken out the back and beaten about the head
beer monster moves in
makes you do and say stupid things
arse
he takes all your money
leaves you feeling all shitey and morose
seamy pezzo di merda
bloody buggery bollocks
sneaking around just outside
i think i saw him peering in the window
with that horrid beak thing
bastard
where does he come from?
i bet its slimy there
hes never actually in sight
always in the periphery
fucker
the strange shadow moving behind the fronds
it seems that he never really sods off
just hanging about there
waiting for me to slip
maggot
its nothing personal mind
it never bloody is
warts on all his extremities
skulking over there
prick
his got a friend too
the fag monster
when hes holding you down
fag monster shows up and shafts your lungs
i suspect its a whale and limpet deal
they work in tandom
luckily there arent others about
stronzo
must have some kind of wand to cast his spells of boredom or misery
just one drizzle and its chocks away
its all over
self control taken out the back and beaten about the head
beer monster moves in
makes you do and say stupid things
arse
he takes all your money
leaves you feeling all shitey and morose
seamy pezzo di merda
bloody buggery bollocks
Thursday, June 07, 2007
i saw this film, but there was no dome
title; Zodiac
cinema; my brother george
duration; long
director; that bloke
starring; some blokes and some birds and some short people
genre; old
Plot; some bloke goes off his nut and kills people, especially snogging couples with bad hair and stupid clothes. It is all very mysterious. He writes to the pigs and the papers. He uses a code. very tricky. A nerd at the paper tries to figure it out. He has a crap salvagente and some brown beavis cords. some other bloke with a camp scarf gets drunk and takes lots of drugs. It gets very heavy. The pigs are lead by the woggy bloke from chips. He has quality sideburns. the bad guy has a limp. but is he the bad guy? probably. beavis was dissatisfied, prefers resolution. something about lakes, parties and libraries. also featuring; buildings, people being serious a lot, crap old cars, too many americans, some old bloke who liked writing, bad nana miskouri hair and glasses, some bloke from some other film, a taxi, blue drinks and lots of fags.
verdict; yeah its alright.
rating; 3 flushes and a half flush coz you cannot be too careful
interesting facts; the main bloke has more than a passing resemblance to Erik the Finocchio. My jacket was warm. guinness is good.
cinema; my brother george
duration; long
director; that bloke
starring; some blokes and some birds and some short people
genre; old
Plot; some bloke goes off his nut and kills people, especially snogging couples with bad hair and stupid clothes. It is all very mysterious. He writes to the pigs and the papers. He uses a code. very tricky. A nerd at the paper tries to figure it out. He has a crap salvagente and some brown beavis cords. some other bloke with a camp scarf gets drunk and takes lots of drugs. It gets very heavy. The pigs are lead by the woggy bloke from chips. He has quality sideburns. the bad guy has a limp. but is he the bad guy? probably. beavis was dissatisfied, prefers resolution. something about lakes, parties and libraries. also featuring; buildings, people being serious a lot, crap old cars, too many americans, some old bloke who liked writing, bad nana miskouri hair and glasses, some bloke from some other film, a taxi, blue drinks and lots of fags.
verdict; yeah its alright.
rating; 3 flushes and a half flush coz you cannot be too careful
interesting facts; the main bloke has more than a passing resemblance to Erik the Finocchio. My jacket was warm. guinness is good.
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
the further adventures of super tonto
look
down on the ground
quite literally
it's super tonto!
is it a slug
is it a sloth
no its super tonto!
he can stroll faster than an old lady with both hips replaced
he can leap (step) cracks in the pavement without forgetting to put the bins out
he can bend tacos as if they were nachos
yes its super tonto!
he can wear is smalls on the outside without fear of mockery
he sports a cape and doesnt suck on blood
his mask is only a bit wonky
whats this i hear?
A crimewave....!
fear not, super tonto will be here in a couple of weeks to foil the evil doers
whats that you say?
an asteroid on a collision course with the earth....!
stay calm, super tonto will look into it in due course, just after he watched another few eposides of futurama
how can it be?
a foreign power has declared war....?
be still tender one, super tonto will sue for peace and dissuade the aggressors with his waning charms and 90 percent of the GDP for the next 120 years
Can it be possible?
the outbreak of a killer pandemic....?
Remain indoors, super tonto will destroy it with medical research that was unfortunately cancelled by a pseudo religious government leaving only a bit of dettol
Now all this has been pointed out, super tonto will put the phone down and go away quietly
down on the ground
quite literally
it's super tonto!
is it a slug
is it a sloth
no its super tonto!
he can stroll faster than an old lady with both hips replaced
he can leap (step) cracks in the pavement without forgetting to put the bins out
he can bend tacos as if they were nachos
yes its super tonto!
he can wear is smalls on the outside without fear of mockery
he sports a cape and doesnt suck on blood
his mask is only a bit wonky
whats this i hear?
A crimewave....!
fear not, super tonto will be here in a couple of weeks to foil the evil doers
whats that you say?
an asteroid on a collision course with the earth....!
stay calm, super tonto will look into it in due course, just after he watched another few eposides of futurama
how can it be?
a foreign power has declared war....?
be still tender one, super tonto will sue for peace and dissuade the aggressors with his waning charms and 90 percent of the GDP for the next 120 years
Can it be possible?
the outbreak of a killer pandemic....?
Remain indoors, super tonto will destroy it with medical research that was unfortunately cancelled by a pseudo religious government leaving only a bit of dettol
Now all this has been pointed out, super tonto will put the phone down and go away quietly
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
Monday, June 04, 2007
silver bloody doors
yes they do my head in
silver bloody doors
3 particular types
silver doors in elevators
silver doors airports
silver doors on trains
silver bloody doors
always taking something away
always closing horizontally
as you watch a precious thing gradually get thinner
then disappear
fuck it
i lost her over and over again to silver doors
those bloody english silver doors
taking it all away
maybe even tearing it all away
or closing it all away
hopes and dreams
arses
ooops....
somebody just hollowed me out
with a flesh chisel and an ice hammer
fuck it
errr what happens next?
holland park tube
the name escapes but the image is burnt in
off to golders green to the minted family friends
go marry a pilot...
the ones of a kind
not my bloody kind
i showed them and their basin!
bloody heath bloody row airport
bed and breakfast fisting
ahh it wont take long
its just a tube trip away
giggle and spit
eat rubbish overpriced english breakfast
make the most of it
lap it up
missed the flight
oh dear oh dear
waitlisted
oh shit oh shit
last minute seat
oh fuck oh fuck
put the empty vessel back on the tube
perk up
tomorrow a friend comes
some bleached buffoon with biceps
paying only 345343434 quid a night at marble arch
sleep overs can get you big trub
off we go on the next big adventure
should be great
should be beside oneself
look bright
sure
shitsticks
big fucking chance of that coming on down
at least its not the end of the world....
if only i had already met gruff
silver bloody doors
3 particular types
silver doors in elevators
silver doors airports
silver doors on trains
silver bloody doors
always taking something away
always closing horizontally
as you watch a precious thing gradually get thinner
then disappear
fuck it
i lost her over and over again to silver doors
those bloody english silver doors
taking it all away
maybe even tearing it all away
or closing it all away
hopes and dreams
arses
ooops....
somebody just hollowed me out
with a flesh chisel and an ice hammer
fuck it
errr what happens next?
holland park tube
the name escapes but the image is burnt in
off to golders green to the minted family friends
go marry a pilot...
the ones of a kind
not my bloody kind
i showed them and their basin!
bloody heath bloody row airport
bed and breakfast fisting
ahh it wont take long
its just a tube trip away
giggle and spit
eat rubbish overpriced english breakfast
make the most of it
lap it up
missed the flight
oh dear oh dear
waitlisted
oh shit oh shit
last minute seat
oh fuck oh fuck
put the empty vessel back on the tube
perk up
tomorrow a friend comes
some bleached buffoon with biceps
paying only 345343434 quid a night at marble arch
sleep overs can get you big trub
off we go on the next big adventure
should be great
should be beside oneself
look bright
sure
shitsticks
big fucking chance of that coming on down
at least its not the end of the world....
if only i had already met gruff
Sunday, June 03, 2007
I heard it from my friends, about the things she said
carrots, kale, corn cob, lemons, pineapple, ginger, tamari, chai tea, bullets
Friday, June 01, 2007
theres a hole in face dear insanity lady
what the fook?
where did that come from?
lets just take a short cut to the truth
lets hide the truth
lets find a playground
but its not really a playground
it should have been tho
i was convinced of it
otherwise i would never have hurled myself over the fence
surely you believe this much
i would
funny looking playground
with some muppet on the other side of it
uncanny
nuffink better than a face plant plant
oooch lucky i am numb like
keep at it
hurl yourself repeatedly at it
found objects
chairs
different sizes
do it again!!!!
whoops, dropped something
lucky i noticed that
who knows how long it went on for
stifled larfta
a little plastic chair
obliterated
a mercedes trampled
a ladder discovered when all seemed lost
a little on the rickety side
pretty bloody little
it did the job
just
larfing
larfing
larfing
shshshhshsh
a trampoline over that way
next fence
off we go again
butt in your face
buttface
up and over
despite selfish slanty fence bits
bye bye ladder
bye bye lady
climbed to the top of the pile
no glass ceilings around here
haaaaaaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa bloody ha
where did that come from?
lets just take a short cut to the truth
lets hide the truth
lets find a playground
but its not really a playground
it should have been tho
i was convinced of it
otherwise i would never have hurled myself over the fence
surely you believe this much
i would
funny looking playground
with some muppet on the other side of it
uncanny
nuffink better than a face plant plant
oooch lucky i am numb like
keep at it
hurl yourself repeatedly at it
found objects
chairs
different sizes
do it again!!!!
whoops, dropped something
lucky i noticed that
who knows how long it went on for
stifled larfta
a little plastic chair
obliterated
a mercedes trampled
a ladder discovered when all seemed lost
a little on the rickety side
pretty bloody little
it did the job
just
larfing
larfing
larfing
shshshhshsh
a trampoline over that way
next fence
off we go again
butt in your face
buttface
up and over
despite selfish slanty fence bits
bye bye ladder
bye bye lady
climbed to the top of the pile
no glass ceilings around here
haaaaaaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa bloody ha
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