luttle fush

Luttle fush, luttle fush, let me come un!"
"Not by the hair un my chunny-chun-chun!"
"Thin I'll hff, nd I'll pff, and I'll blow your house un!"

and something about drugs, guns, stumps, swimming and racist videos

odds on it'll be michael jackson

well that turned out all wrong didnt it?
he didn't end up little and green
oh.. hang on....
maybe in a couple of weeks...

what's all this shouting?

without that kind of dramatic conclusion
torres does well
picked up again by riera
howard has had an impressive night
has looked absolutely solid
donovan holds him off
now spector
here it is, belatedly
anxious looks
didnt have any kind of control on that
they are a delight to watch
so aware of whats going on
he has caught the eyes of many tonight
looks to be the coolest man in the house tonight
with a flashing effort
he has shown signs
charlie davis
has to hold himself
its an age
something to cling onto here
just sold a little short
villa on the stretch
howard and then the post
there was always going to be one winner
trying to take it closer
look at clarke here
all ends up
a signal for the change
frustrated for such a long time
to change it around
plays these days in denmark
dempsey will push up
his pair of legs
sitting down again and wondering
skipping inside
swarm back inside
another breath of frustration
they cant keep it out
and they might just have done so
we have a major, major upset on our hands now
who would have thought it
he wont dally here
certainly a collision
thats a scoreline nobody expected
desperate measures now
buzzing it past donovan
confirmation of the change
its dangerous territory
they were celebrating as if it were job done
it will only take a moment of genius
theres more than enough time
hes had an excellent night tonight
its backs to the walls now
steered, measured in
for all the frustration
inevitably right behind it
but not now
thats a sign of how desperate things are
the teenager has done his job tonight
not for long
xavi thought there was someone behind him, but there wasnt
he's more or less run out tonight
its very nearly a miracle required here
so the drama remains enthralling
puyol was in there
too many white shirts in his way
what a night, what a story
as its launched their way again
this is torres teasing them
because hes done so much running
hes the man who comes on to help shore up what has been a heroic defence
piquet in the book
not that it matters now
were supposed to be here as the easy-beats
but the script has been torn up and rewritten in the most dramatic of fashions
del bosque knows
nothing now he can do
nothing now his side can do
just a few more seconds tick by
was the man that did the damage
its a lost cause and he knows it
there isnt time now, there isnt time now
that surely is that
del bosque looks on forlornly
what a night
what a victory
and thats it...

easily...

... distracted

posh idiocy exponent extraordinaire

Did I say that?

Prince Philip, the Queen's consort, 88

stolen from The Obvserver Sunday 21 June 2009

On age

We shall all be old one day - provided, of course, we can avoid being slaughtered on the roads or beaten up by some hooligan in a peace demonstration (1970)

To a blind woman with a guide dog

Do you know they have eating dogs for the anorexic now? (2002)

To his wife after her coronation

Where did you get that hat? (1953)

On turning 80

I'm not sure I recommend it. It's not so much the age, but trying to survive the celebrations (2001)

Arriving to open a youth centre in Brighton

Who are you burying today? (2007)

Meeting Nigeria's president, who was in robes

You look like you are ready for bed (1956)

To Russell Brand, about the woman next to him in a royal variety show line-up

She's got all the right stuff in all the right places (2007)

On Number 10's idea for Diana's funeral

F*** off - we are talking about two boys who have lost their mother (1997)

Told by Elton John of his gold Aston Martin

Oh, it's you that owns that ghastly car - we often see it when driving to Windsor Castle (2001)

To president Kenyatta during Kenya's independence, as the Union Jack was lowered

Are you sure you want to go ahead with this, old chap? (1963)

On death

In the event that I am reincarnated, I would like to return as a deadly virus, to contribute something to solving overpopulation (1988)

To the General Dental Council

Dentopedalogy is the science of opening your mouth and putting your foot in it. I have been practising it for years (1960)

To Cherie Blair, on hearing that London had won the 2012 Olympic bid

I'm so old I won't be here (2005)

Told by president Obama of meetings already that day with the Chinese, Russians, Brown and Cameron

Can you tell the difference between them? (2009)

To a fashion writer at a world wildlife fund gathering

You're not wearing mink knickers, are you? (1993)

and a complete muppet....

how to shout properly

sod bonnie doon, I'm going to Yoshiwara

I am upping sticks and moving to yoshiwara
before it sells out
when it was still classy
so early to mid 17th century should do it
i will kick the arse of all those lazy under-employed samurai
those syphilis ridden lounge abouts
who scrimp and save for 6 months for the briefest visit
i shall move beyond the moat
to the floating dreamworld
the land of ukyo
living only for the moment
but not only fleeting melancholic delights for me
I'm getting a fab 4 storey pad
and never coming back...

and now another world from our sponsor:

bathetic;

–adjective

displaying or characterized by bathos: the bathetic emotionalism of soap operas.

bathos;

1.a ludicrous descent from the exalted or lofty to the commonplace; anticlimax.

2.insincere pathos; sentimentality; mawkishness.

3.triteness or triviality in style.

so don't go getting it mixed up with pathetic or pathos or you will look like a broper bathetic brick

positive blog

browsing recentish blog posts
it does seem that there is a quite a bit of ...
como se dice...? negatividad
boh
so just to mix it up a bit
here is a positive blog
no swearing
no sarcasm
no cynicism
no complaining
no slagging off anybody
no picking on any religious groups, nationalities etc
or even stupid people
yep
everything is lovely
really first rate
wizard, in fact
the sun is shining (nb. not necessarily a true representation of actual circumstance)
the grass is umm greening
the flowers are blooming (not a swearword)
there are little fluffy clouds
fluffing about and being picturesque
the sun is gently caressing my face
the warmth feeds a sense of bienestar and vitality
there are little fluffy wuffy bunny wunnies
being every so darling
some ickle kittens are play fighting
rolling around on aforementioned green grass
being simply adorable
the hedges are ingeniously shaped to look like prancing ponies
the hills are rolling away towards the horizon
a lake laps gently on the sloped hillock
from somewhere the sounds of childrens laughter rises and floats past
all is right with the world
_____________________________________________________________________
oh dear, my throat is ticklish...
must fight it
must not clear throat
thus seemingly undermine all above good work...

aeon flux-the worst film ever?

complete shite
only redeeming feature.. happily they bang on about trevor
rating ; 0.2/5
fucking eejiot

Berlusconi V Gadaffi ;Biggest fucking idiot contest

"Hey, look over there Momo! they are voting on which one of us is the biggest fucking idiot!"
"You really are an enormous fucking idiot Berluschifo, but with my new Michael Jackson get-up I might just win it"

poor but happy (my arse)

you know the drill...
your grandparents used to say
'we were poor, but we were happy'
which is great
for them
but

FUNK DAT!

I for one am poor and fucking well sick of it..

'Mongol' 2007, reviewd.

An epic tale of the rise of young Temudjin who becomes Genghis Khan and his colossal struggles with the mighty Chinese empire. The Chinese built hundreds of miles of 'city' walls and invented many new modes of warfare in a vain attempt to keep the mongols out. With stunning scenery, mighty battle scenes and superb acting the film 'Mongol' is a true classic of its time.
Lavatorytastic rating; 3 flushes out of 5

An excerpt from 'Mongol', showing one Chinese man's desperate struggle against the marauding mongols:

O' Ohhhhhh

today's vaguely interesting fact accidentally absorbed in passing in near earth orbit;
the O in all those funky Irish surnames such as O'Reilly, O'Grady, O'Malley, O'Forfuckssakey...etc
is the anglicized bastard form of 'au', which is gaelic for 'grandson of'...

so put that on your blarney stone and snog it.

things that suck #1320

films in which people speak in a language other than their own
usually bloody english
dubbing is a crime against culture
but what is most likely worse
is when actors in a film speak in english
despite the fact that they are in holland, talking to fellow dutch for example
and why is this done?
because anglo ignoramus fuckwits
primarily meaning AMERICANS
are too fucking stupid or lazy to read subtitles
it is one thing to suspend your disbelief
BUT
dont fucking ask me to believe that italian policemen talk to each other
IN FUCKING ENGLISH
as in the second hannibal lecter film
or more recently
aka today
dont fucking expect me to believe that che guevera chatted with fidel castro
and fellow revolutionaries in Mexico and Cuba
IN FUCKING ENGLISH!

fucking fucked fuckheads!

tom cruise and scientology = fucked

and to think that people fall for this shit.... fucking muppets
AND those evil manipulative fuckers tried to get this taken off the net, now they arent allowed to touch wikipedia!