brits being magnificently silly no.2586 (aka Vespa Joust)

are you an 'eccentric' brit?

got a scooter?

got a big stick?

got a mate with same?

saddle up and get jousting!

word of the weak - tmesis

 

Tmesis is a linguistic device where a word or phrase is split into two parts with another word inserted between them, often for emphasis or comic effect. For example, saying "abso-bloody-lutely" instead of "absolutely" demonstrates this technique.

tmesis also occurs in German, Ancient Greek, Latin, Irish, and Tagalog.

now get tmesfuckingising!

things that bang : the fall - blindness

marky smith and co with an epic live version of blindness

hammersmith palais 2007

bonus points for figuring out what the hell he is on about 

recommendation - crank it up

cortez the killer was massively historically inaccurate

massive tune with even greater artistic licence neilo!

He came dancing across the water

With his galleons and guns

cortes did not use galleons! he had caravels and brigantines

Looking for the new world

And that palace in the sun

On the shore lay Montezuma

moCtezuma was in his capital, tenochtitlan

With his coca leaves and pearls

coca didnt grow in mexico

In his halls, he often wandered

With the secrets of the world

And his subjects gathered 'round him

Like the leaves around the tree

In their clothes of many colors

For the angry gods to see

And the women all were beautiful

come off it!

And the men stood straight and strong

really neil?

They offered life in sacrifice

So that others could go on

no! The Aztecs sacrificed humans to establish and maintain relations with their gods, who needed their blood and hearts to survive.

Hate was just a legend

stuff and nonsense!

And war was never known

the mexica were often at war and subjected many other peoples

The people worked together

And they lifted many stones

And they carried them to the flatlands

But they died along the way

And they built up with their bare hands

What we still can't do today

of course we could build pyramids etc today!

And I know she's living there

And she loves me to this day

I still can't remember when

Or how I lost my way

He came dancing across the water

Cortez, Cortez

What a killer

dinsey vs lemmings

 

lemmings stupidly walk off cliffs and fall to their deaths en masse, right?

fucking no!

from britannica.com -

"Deliberate fraud. For the 1958 Dinsey nature film White Wilderness, filmmakers eager for dramatic footage staged a lemming death plunge, pushing dozens of lemmings off a cliff while cameras were rolling. The images—shocking at the time for what they seemed to show about the cruelty of nature and shocking now for what they actually show about the cruelty of humans—convinced several generations of moviegoers that these little rodents do, in fact, possess a bizarre instinct to destroy themselves."

fuck dinsey!

orf yer bike!

 "Bicycle face" was a term used in the late 19th century to describe a supposed condition affecting women who rode bicycles, characterized by a flushed or pale face, drawn lips, and an expression of weariness. It reflected societal attitudes of the time, suggesting that cycling was inappropriate for women and could lead to negative physical effects.

so ladies, strap up your whale bone corsets extra tight and stick to waddling like uncomfortable penguins. who needs to breathe when you look so dainty!

deutsche zusammengesetzte Substantive, fuck ja!

we all know schadenfreude, doppelganger and zeitgeist but german is rammed with glorious compound nouns...

die Tollwut - rabies

The ‘Toll’ in Tollwut doesn’t mean great, but ‘crazy’. ‘Toll’ is a old word for ‘verrückt’. Tollwut therefore is ‘crazy rage’.

(see also italian - rabbia, spanish - rabia and french - rage)

die Nacktschnecke - slug

This is literally a naked snail.

der Zungenbrecher - tongue twister

In German they don't twist your tongue. They break it.

das Luftschloss - air castle

This is a dream that will likely never come true.

das Kopfkino - playing a scenario out in your mind

We all have it, but the Germans call it a head cinema.

das Drachenfutter - dragon feed

What do you feed a dragon? Who is the dragon? The dragon is your loved ones and the feed is a gift you give. This is a gift given to a loved one as an apology.

das Hüftgold - hip gold

The German expression is so much friendlier than the English "spare tire" or "muffin top". The extra fat around your midsection in German is hip gold

die französische Krankheit - syphilis

This is an older word, but it was too funny not to have on the list. The French disease is syphilis. 

(see also many similar in various european languages)

die Windpocken - chicken pox

While the English word is likely from a resemblance of the small red marks that a chicken would leave, if they pecked at you, the German word is about how it spreads. Wind pox are easily transmitted in the air with the wind, therefore "Windpocken". 

das Fernweh - far pain

the opposite of homesickness, a desire to travel

der Kummerspeck - grief/sadness fat

Many people on the internet think this translates as grief bacon, but they are stretching the meaning a bit. It is more closely related to the word fat, as other translations for “Speck” includes “fat” and “lard”.

das Fremdschämen - foreign shame

Shame for something someone else has done

die Torschlusspanik - gate closing panic

Torschlusspanik derived from the times where cities had city walls and gates, at a certain time gates were closed overnight. If you came too late, you had to spend the night outside of the city. Nowadays Torschlusspanik describes the fear to miss something important, like marriage or having children.

der Treppenwitz - staircase joke

A joke you come up with when you are walking away from an argument

(see also french - 'l'esprit de l'escalier')

der Weltschmerz - world pain

The melancholic pain you feel when you watch the world and its state.

die Schnapsidee - schnapps idea

An idea that you have when you are drunk

verschlimmbessern - to better worsen

To make things worse while trying to make them better, a combination of verbessern (to make better) and verschlimmern (to make worse, exacerbate)

Sind sie nicht wunderbar?

word of the weak - floccinaucinihilipilification

 

The act of regarding something as worthless or insignificant. It is one of the longest words in the English language, originating from a combination of several Latin terms that all imply little or no value.

"action or habit of estimating as worthless," 1741, a combination of four Latin words (flocci, nauci, nihili, pilifi) all signifying "at a small price" or "for nothing," which were listed together in a rule of the well-known Eton Latin Grammar. 

so flocc(etc) you!

Quale sonum habebat lingua Latina Romana?

sic sonabat...

the disaccordion

 

Mutiny In Heaven

before the bad seeds

and after the boys next door

there was the birthday party

thriving in the (post) punk st kilda scene (no, not the uninhabited outer hebridean island)

of the second half of the 70s

from the chrysalis of the boys next door

whose core came from an exclusive boys private school in inner melbourne

they made a magnificent but hardly tuneful racket

they went to lahndan and had a predictably shit, cold and hungry time

with no money, lots of drugs and little success

sadly cave and howard (RIP) fell out

(should have let him sing shivers nicky wicky!)

after more to and (a)fro between hemispheres 

they thought that bowie, reed and iggy had the right idea

and upped sticks and moved to west berlin

and the bad seeds were born

they truly did make "bleak and noisy soundscapes,"

'From Nick Cave on, they don't kill themselves -

Just tell us why they're suicidal.'

-Morrison hostel, TISM