ma wobbie faceva il sorriso verticale?

era la fine degli anni 80
i cd non erano abbastanza communi per non essere troppo cari
in piu
che cazzo ero,
nostrofuckingdamo del cazzo?
cosi
avevo scoperto la musica che non fa schifo
non sapevo chi cazzo ero
ma sapevo quello che non c'ero
andavo in giro con dei gottici
almeno
quelli che passavano per gotici
nei sobborghi lontani
volevo essere alternativo
ma alternativo a che cosa?

tutti i ragazzi che mi parevano cool
erano grandi fans
le ragazze con troppa truca
i ragazzi con troppa truci

le labbre enormi sul coperchio
mi sembravano molto sensuali
bene
con i pochi soldi che avevo
ho comprato il nuovo disco di 'liqueur'
l'ho portato a casa mia
e l'ho messo sul girodisco di casa
e ho saltato
girato
danzato
e probabilmente
ho mosso i mani come wobbie
e come faceva l'amico
quello che era troppo cool

ma alla fine ho dovuto stare tranquillo
perche il girodisco era sul pavimento
e quando cercavo fare il wobbie
si saltava come una merda!

i got the machine to the machine

we took the machine into town

but the machine stopped working so we had to get the machine

then

even when we got there

the machine showing the machine in the window was playing up

we were wondering about doing some machine shopping

but without the machine

that proved impossible

dont get me wrong

i dont need the latest machine to choose a new machine

but without any machine

it was tough

anyway

after the machine debacle

we had no choice but to go the machine without a machine

in this day and machine age

showing up without a machine!

but we soldiered on without a machine

we tried to compensate for our lack of machine

but it was pretty obvious that we lacked our machine

we joked about our machine

but without our machine

we couldnt really explain our lack of machine

let alone about the tardiness of our machine!



what i really fear

is the day

they turn off the great machine...

turns out thats wildly fucking optimistic

Drunk on election night

so its that time of the fuckhead year/season/triennial/quadrennial again
because its OBLIGATORIO
the pig ignorant voters of straya are voting for their national government
NOT their head of state
noooo
not fucking that
to qualify for that you have to come from one family of inbred tossers on the other side of the world

as per usual most of them cant think beyond two utterly corrupt parties
the utter cunt privileged screw the poor and the planet for fun party
and the theoretically 'workers' party
who long ago sold their souls to multinational corporations
of course there are plenty of other choices
the big racist dipshit party always make an odorous dent
then there are the green party who at least mean well
and a plethora of independents and tiny freakoid jobs
such as
the stop being a cunt and just be nice to each other, man party
the grow the fuck up and protect the vulnerable party
the desperately clinging on to any shred of influence religious parties
the big fat self important rich utter turd party
ive got a fucking beard and used to be on telly party
the bogan moron party
and several more nob head parties
and random assorted the moon is on fire and the earth is made of flattened watermelon wankers

but with one uber rich cunt in particular controlling the vast majority of the media
the utter cunt privileged screw the poor and the planet for fun party always have a huge head start
despite their obvious moral and financial corruption
complete lack of coherence
and outstanding achievement in the field of incompetence awards
will run it close
and the only groupings that actually are in it for a good reason
wont get many votes
because ozzzies oi oi ois are too fucking stupid
to use their tiny ickle brains
think beyond appeals to their bigotry and hip pocket
and to quote a bag of chips
'keep the bastards honest'



so much cuntery
so much incompetence
so much corruption
so much ignorance
viva el sistema!

addis llansamletbar - worst aiport... ever

depending on your choice of airline
a stop over in addis ababa is a distinct possibility
quite a few international flights pull in there
being strategically located
near the junction of three 'continents'
and a shit ton of oil/money

addis llansamletbar on the other hand
is not such a common transit point
being on the wrong side of the river tawe
and being set in an 'enterprise zone'
or some such
that ricky gervais would be familiar with
it involved a couple of flights on shit green airlines
including another stop off at the temple of doom international airport
in the late 1890s i couldnt help but stop there
up to perhaps 20 times
and when you arrive there
theres nothing to do but talk about fucking plastic
and wait for the flight back

in my second stint there
i was lucky enough to get private flights
with some rich english geezer who had his own german plane
who went there regularly for business
and let me his spare cupboard
that george had recently vacated

overall rating - corporate tedium blues
positives - the nice ladies in accounts
negatives -  how fucking boring is plastic!?!

we're dooooomed

there once was a game called doom

you could play at killing in your very own room

(not mine)

in the dark age of the computer

you could be a big shooter

as you stumbled about in the gloom



by the standards of today

you might as well be gathering the hay

but between this and wolfenstein

when you're too young for wine

if you could master three or more keys

(i couldnt)

you could lose many a day

un hippy cointreau ou grand marnier?