thank fuck thats over

 

somebody has been twatting on my remote peninsula...

for thirteen years a fucking tool spent each summer camping in the wilds of russkaya amyerika

he took loads of beautiful footage of big bad brown grizzly bears

often alarmingly closely

doing their wild things

fishing, playing, fighting and generally being bad arsed bears

until eventually

being an utter buffoon

and believing that they were his fuzzy maties

despite banging on repeatedly about how dangerous they were

one of them eventually got sick of his extremely try hard attenbrough shit

saw him and his girlfriend

decided that they would taste just right

and ate them all up.

beavis and butthead do no.7 - archers of loaf

with a chicken?

bah buttplug

feliz saturnalia hdps

 

au tlein inik amo?

hay una vieja castaña canosa

que dice que

en america antigua no tenien las ruedas

pero no es verdad!

y la prueba esta alla! ^^^

los mexicas tenian juguetes con ruedas

pero parece que nunca se les occurio usarlas por cosas utiles

como carros

¿qué coño?

words of the executioner

edification

epistemology

concatenation

ineffable

psychopomp

shut up, cricks on the radio again

 

with absofuckinglutely nothing else to do

im going to vaguely make an effort to follow the crick again

it happens every now and again

come sweaty southern summer time

its usually in an eighth arsed kind of way

most years its just a slight noticing of results

and by the time i got around to making a clickworthy effort

the only version that hasnt been utterly trashed was over

as a junior beaver©

i was quite the fan of the crick

watched it on the telly for hours on end

mostly bored out of tiny brain

marvelled at the effortless cool brilliance of viv and co

agonised over defeats to perfidious albion

i played it at home 

in the hall 

or in the yard

loved my kit of gloves, pads and bocs

even went to games

with dear old nonno and his uova scozzesi

then with friends

a heaving G was always a good day out with mates

but the purile idiocy of commercial tv has long made in unwatchable

not to mention all the mindless wank 

of dancing girls and oily soaked chicken

plus the plastic gimmickry and commentators who put the boof

into utter imbecilic boofhead blokery

put me right off

at least dear old nonnos tip of muting the telly

and listening on aunty

set me up

ive long since stopped bothering with the screeching commerciality of msm telly

even on mute

whatever those fuckwits are pedalling

in the crudest of manner

is something i want nothing to do with

but an afternoon of clicking into the red crystal setter

to hear the gentle murmur of the crowd

the occasional yelps from the players

and the unpretentious chatter of the aunty's commentators

is a most relaxing soporific

whats more

i now have a connexion and real love of hindustanilandia

and found it a great way to bond with the man on the street/train/taxi/restaurant/fucking everywhere...

'oh you are from there? what do you think about (insert obscure player)?

whose encyclodpaedic knowledge 

soon showed up my shallow and dated offerings

haan!

Prisencolinensinainciusol

nei primi anni settanta

adriano celentano, il mito della musica italiana aveva un idea

dopo avere osservato che gli italiani giovani erano ossessionati dalla musica americana

e' rimasto convinto che gli piacerebbe qualsiasi canzone 

se il testo fosse in inglese americano

cosi in 1972 ha registrato un brano pieno di testi che sembravano inglese

pero erano un nonsenso intero

e l'ha publicato in europa

ed aveva ragione!

la canzone e' arrivato nei top 10 di 4 paesi europei

incluso a no.4 in italia.

(ovviamente il suo progetto e stato aiutato da un ritmo pazzesco e la sua danza eccezionale!) 

do you bouba?

 

The bouba/kiki effect involves mapping between speech sounds and the visual shape of objects. This effect was first observed in 1929. In psychological experiments first conducted on the island of Tenerife (joder), Köhler showed forms similar to those shown above and asked participants which shape was called "takete" and which was called "baluba". Köhler observed that there was a strong preference to pair the jagged shape with "takete" and the rounded shape with "baluba".

In 2001, Köhler's experiment was repeated using the words "kiki" and "bouba" and asking gringo college undergraduates and Tamil speakers in India "Which of these shapes is bouba and which is kiki?" In both groups, 95% to 98% selected the curvy shape as "bouba" and the jagged one as "kiki", suggesting that the human brain somehow attaches abstract meanings to the shapes and sounds in a consistent way.

so there.

gwyr - castell Llanarthbodu a tri clogwyni

just outside of abertawe

is the penhryn gwyr

one of my favourite places on earth

its not the wildest

or most dramatic nature you can find

in less densely inhabited areas

but its chilly waves 

crashing onto rocky cliffs and lapping sandy beaches

with spectacular castle ruins

(bloody saesnegs!)

make it indeed an Area of Outstanding Natural Beauty

diolch cymru!

paris 2024 sera olympic boogaloo

 

va aux

pour la ennieme fois

les jeux olimpiques font les ridicules

ils ont annonce que breakdance

fera partie des jeux de 2024 a paris

zut!

si vous croyiez que l'introduction de mountain biking

etait une betise pour l'excellence

donc

pensez vous au nouveau!

il y auront des 'athletes'

qui dancent sur leur tetes

aux prochaines jeux

a la ville lumiere...

They're looking for Jesus, They're looking for more

mental mental chicken rental

coulda, shoulda, woulda no. 3 - Great Zimbabwe

how often do you get to zimbabwe?

not a lot

probably about none

thats how many times youve got to zimbabwe

i did hang out there once

its a staggeringly beautiful country

although desperately poor of late

with plenty of ancient history

but we dont hear about it coz

you know

toss toss

white people invented culture and civilisation

prestor john etc

i was too lazy to read up on it all

busy bricking it about doing a bungy jump

the monumentalist site is great zimbabwe

which i only discovered in a documentary many years later

Beavis & Butthead do no.6- poison

this is so horrible i cant even begin to talk about how much this sucks

words from the front

apocryphal

obsequious

risible

solipsism

grandiloquent

in una camera funeraria del 2500 ac

 

molti anni fa 

uno stronzo mi ha detto che se si alza un sasso in qualsiasi parte del mondo 

ci sarebbe un italiano

beh

aveva ragione

dentro uno dei mucchi di sassi piu grande del mondo

il piramide di khafre a giza, egitto

nella camera funeraria

ho trovato questo 

(bravo belzoni, mi hai fatto sorridere)

Execution Day (all mates, all dead)

spencer p jones- the johnnys, beasts of bourbon, the nothing buts, the escape committee

conway savage-nick cave and the bad seeds etc

brian henry hooper - kim salmon and the surrealists, beasts of bourbon, charlie marshall and the body  electric

rowland s howard-crime and the city solution, the boys next door, the birthday party, these immortal souls, lydia lunch

peter jones-crowded house etc.

a true supergroup with an epic lineup that recorded the album, rumour of death.1994

omnis vale

words without wrinkles

bacchanalia

dissimulation

asinine

dissociation

quintessence

 

la dinde ne vient pas d'inde

 

just off to the bog...

going to the bog can be dangerous

over 2300 years ago

this danish bloke set off there on a chilly vinterdag 

with an early copy of the Jyllands-Posten

after a hearty meal of delicious gruel 

and just look at the state of him!

 

words just get in the way

ontology

abstruse

effrontery

myriad

nomenclature

montag ive got freytag on my mind

scheisse! 

das ist gut aber ausgeflippt!

er ist ein echtes psychopathisches arschloch!

abhoooorrr the wooorrrrrr

war is shit

but at least there have been some with comedy names

the 7 year war- when france got the itch and nobbed englands cat

 the 30 year war-when a habsburger was served with too much bourbon

 the 100 year war-which took oneupmanship to stupid levels

the boer woer-which thrilled noone

the war to end all wars (known by the hip kids as the great war)-that name aged well

the emu war-in which the emus defeated the humans despite having brains the size of gnats gonads

the war of the three sanchos-nowhere near as good as the anagrammical war of the 3 nachos

the football war- when el salvador kicked their ball into honduras garden and honduras refused to give it back

the pastry war-when the massed ranks of chocolatines fought the pains aux chocolate

the fantastic war- a trades descriptions fucker

the war of the golden stool-when the ashanti government paid off the colonist english in a most unusual manner

the war of jenkins' ear-when bob dived into an empty pool, fucked his hearing and raged through weston super mare like an incredible green welshulk

Se Fossi Marco o: come ho imparato a smettere di preoccuparmi e ad amare il congiuntivo passato

e vent'anni dopo, me lo sempre ricordo quando non ne sono sicuro...

Words to memorize, words hypnotize Words make my mouth exercise

indigent

inchoate

pusillanimous

latent

bucolic

beavis and butthead do no.5 bad news

when worlds collide

goodbye... leggy leggy leggy leggy leggy leggy leggy leggy...

leggy leggy leggy leggy

leggy leggy leggy leggy

Loving Vincent -d'une maniere impure

c'est trop joli hein?

ce n'est pas le meilleur film du monde

mais peut-etre est la plus beau!

les accents anglais m'ont distrait

car la plupart du film se deroule en france

mais heureusement tout le monde n'est pas obsede linguistiquement comme moi

mais il est de bon qualite, et visuellement de toute beaute

ce n'est pas obligatoire etre un super admirateur de vvg

pour le kiffer e apprecier comment ils ont cree un monde qui ressemble a son art

regardez les couleurs les enfants, les couleurs!

bahumbugoween

the modern capitalistic corporate fuckery that is known as halloween 

is being force fed to us again

like the unthinking oie drones we are

 like a nasty weeping rash on your fistula

and of course

its a load of avaricious wank

like all things peddled to us consumers by our crassest of gringo overlords

it is utterly context free and meaningless

just like their fellow annual corporate 'events'

easter/xmas/valentines/mother and fathers days/etc

it forever encroaches further into our calendars

youve only just silenced little cazzolino and philobertas latest nagfest

from the last socially obligatory spending orgy

and the next scheduled retail 'celebration' 

is being rammed down your gola with all the subtlety

of a whooping heavily armed posse of smack addled poachers

chopping up the last northern white rhino

for the benefit of a few chinese billionaires with erectile dysfunction

whats more

like most of the above mentioned venal extravaganzas

halloween has ancient 'pagan' roots

that were then hijacked and repainted to suit the new christian overlords

most likely it was hijacked from the celtic cultures of the 'british' isles

where it was known as samhain/clan gaeaf 

amongst others

where it celebrated the age old agriculturally significant period

of the end of the harvest season

and the beginning of winter

with all the scary darkness, possible famine and wolves and fungus the bogeymen that it signified

the delusional invisible-best-mate christofools later stole this practical and significant event

and shat out all hallows/saints/santi

as yet another reminder that they control us through fear

from cradle to grave

which then begat the odious, capitalistic bankster slice of cuntery

with which we are annually commercially waterboarded 

as they too manipulate us

and exert control from cradle to grave

whos up for the traditional thanksgiving party in chad in 2027?

cause you cant, you wont and you dont stop

cant

wont

 

ornery

suzerainty

anocracy

coulda woulda shoulda no.2 - Ercolano

sarei dovuto andare a ercolano

sono stato due volte a napoli

e non ho fatto tante cose turistiche

sapevo che pompei fosse troppo grande

e che non avrebbe voluto la pena provare a vederlo

ma come secchione della storia

sapeva anche dell'esistenza dell'ercolano

sapevo che fosse molto piu compatto

di piu avevo passata una fine settimana dai parenti di una amica

e il papa ci lavorava, in una posizione di alto rango!

ma non mi e nemmeno venuto in mente!

e vero che ero assai distratto

e sotto i soliti stress e complicazioni di viaggiare col salute di merda

ma

tutta quella bellezza storica

cosi vicina...

el es plata bob

 

plata bob no sigue los influencers

plata bob tiene su propio estilo

y su estilo es toda plata bebe!

plata bob no desperdicia mucho dinero en ropa de moda

plata bob tiene sus bragas chidas

a plata bob no le importa hacer el loco con disenos retrogrados y ridiculos de lo pelo facial

plata bob tiene sus bigotes  old skool y digno de una estrella porno de los anos setenta

a plata bob no le importan una mierda de esas puterias

se como plata bob

beavis and butthead do no.4 yanni

check it out, shes leaving him because he sucks!

words of expectation

 

(caius) fatuous

sesquipedalian

apotheosis

calque

synchronicity

cori cancha?

 

the sumptuous temple of coricancha

didnt have anything to do with running

or the second person interrogative regarding such

 it was originally called the intikancha 

named after inti

the sun god (baby)

who probably could run damn fast

it stood in the inca capital of cuzco

and was the the most important building in the entire puta inca empire

aaaand 

it was built with lashings of gold

gold plated walls

golden statuettes

even planted gold grains

aint no bling like an incan thing!

but

shock upon sorpresa

the spanish wanker brigade showed up and destroyed it

coz...kulcha

and built the santo domingo convent on top of it.

because as we know

utter destruction isnt enuff

tambien hay que construir encima algo dedicado a tu amigo imaginario 

to shovel the (in) salt

directemente dentro la herida abierta