Stevis spark willson-luncher- 43 today

lack of loose inspiration-spandex chalet-old

Damn you for coming home
Im sorry that the video's all marrone
Horse left it there I could have sworn
These are my slurry days
Slowly being scarfed away
Just another slander that you are gay
Oh but Im nauseas coz of you,but Im nauseas coz of you
Your arse has the power to maul
Leon has left you standing so tall
Old
Always believe in your bunghole
Youve got the power to gas
Youre incoherent
Always believe it,because you are
Old
Damn you, youre bound to return
Theres nothing I could have learned
Youre incoherent,always believe it
After the rash has gone
I hope you find a little more fro
Remember Leon and you were partners in crime
Its only 15 years ago
The pyscho with the pony tail and the grin
You know that he was there in rex court
Now hes in love with you, hes always in love with you
And his love is like a bottle shop window
But Leon left you standing so tall
Old
Always believe in your bunghole
Youve got the power to maim
Youre incoherent
Always believe it, because you are
Old
Damn you, youre bound to return
Theres nothing I could have learned
Youre incoherent, always believe it...

whats up with the maths on your boots on your feet?

thats a pretty damn stupid place to put your maths
nerd.
no, homes you dont know what time it is
sure, you know pythagorarses theorem at a glance downward
but you'll end up with OCD before i do
not to mention motion sickness
fucking twat

karyn's blog is pants

oh its bad
whatever you do, dont check out karyn's blog
its shit
not just shit
but that type of shit that sticks to your boot
gets stuck between the tready bits
and needs hours of retching poking at with sticks to come off
awww its awful
that blog of karyns
i mean, paedophilic, rainforest destroying, whale slaughtering, goose liver fattening with sticks, jeff kennet loving, creed digging, racist, biggoted, genocide performing americans could do better than that!
ive had more fun with my nipples sliced off by razor blades
much more giggles to be had there than reading karyns blog
it shouldnt really be called a blog
i mean 'log' or 'bog' would be far more apt
thats the kind of stuff shes backing out onto the net
wowwwa its drivel that blog of karyns
looks like it was typed by a gnu with cataracts and hoof rot
i will probably be sued by a gnu rights association now
for being so horrid as to compare them with karyns blog
man, its dire that blog of karyns
and the photos, yech!
looks like the people in them fell off the top of mt uglyverest
and hit every ugly stone, boulder, glacier, abominable snowman, oxygen tank, frozen dead geezer and mincing machine on the way down
id rather ram a hot poker in my left eye than read karyns blog
its THAT bad!
its that kind of bollocks you only find under some old mans foreskin
its so bad that its like buying a new t shirt and getting it home to discover it already has stains under the armpits!
echhhhhhhhh its rough!
like that grit you get between your toes
when a whole year of it is baked together in a cake and served with john howard sauce
beavis could eat nothing but garlic and horse vomit and then shit in a jar
leave the jar locked underground in a nuclear bunker
open it with stale urine covered gloves after 12 years
and itd still not stink as bad as karyns blog!
i heard she works in a library
what kind of library is that?
one with sticks with shit on them filed in random order coz ooga booga the bogeyman told someone in a dream?
id bet that kids that go into that library would actually come out more stupid than before
awful awful blog
with any luck she will get eaten by some papua new guinean bloke and her blog will get a blog eating virus that will destroy any trace of it ever existing
yuckkkkkkkkkkkk, that karyns blog
I thought i felt grim after drinking 3 tubs of starch last week
but that was a party of naked dancing girls with fairyfloss compared to karyns blog
unpleasant?! man i thought gerard was unfortunate
hes positively monica bellucci compared to karyns blog and its filth peddling
i thought the geneva convention was put in place to stop this kind of evil...
dont blame me, i voted 3RRR
http://karyns-blog.blogspot.com/

una vita da mediano - Luciano Ligabue

he makes me go all squiffy,
because he's worth it...

una vita da mediano
a recuperar palloni
nato senza i piedi buoni
lavorare sui polmoni
una vita da mediano
con dei compiti precisi
a coprire certe zone
a giocare generosi
lì
sempre lì
lì nel mezzo
finchè ce n'hai stai lì
una vita da mediano
da chi segna sempre poco
che il pallone devi darlo
a chi finalizza il gioco
una vita da mediano
che natura non ti ha dato
nè lo spunto della punta
nè del 10 che peccato
lì
sempre lì
lì nel mezzo
finchè ce n'hai stai lì
stai lì
sempre lì
lì nel mezzo
finchè ce n'hai
finche ce n'hai
stai lì
una vita da mediano
da uno che si brucia presto
perché quando hai dato troppo
devi andare e fare posto
una vita da mediano
lavorando come Oriali
anni di fatica e botte e
vinci casomai i mondiali
lì
sempre lì
lì nel mezzo
finchè ce n'hai stai lì
stai lì
sempre lì
lì nel mezzo
finchè ce n'hai
finchè ce n'hai
stai lì

i never was a boxer rebel

there was a film going on
i know coz i saw it
there were plenty of geezers
the end of the line
there was a mountain backdrop
that said, it must have been south east london!
yep, it was a dream
it was that place where the fillum was set
dont ask me what fillum
it was the place where i had gone to do that
no, thats not right
to do this
anyway, i knew all about it at the time
and i was a self appointed expert
then i was there
not doing what i had been there for where art for before
that as a relief
there was Daddy-o
wandering past them chain pubs
the fuck off and firkin
each one more recognizable than the last
sitting outside one
chatting to some semi threatening, but not really yobs
one had a most ridiculous/coolest car thing you ever saw
depending on your point of view
dont block it out!
a white motor with 2 little wheels in the undercarriage
apparently for bouncing up and down as they do in god bless america
and a remote control
but he sent it into a tree
trying to be impressed
not wanting trub, the kind that is always just about to show up with these twats
catching the tube, but cant get off
too slow to move
cranky brits muttering about it
not sure why
Dad on the platform
see you at the next stop
i shouted
there he was...
apparently it didnt matter...
next scene
same suburb
i knew it had to be the souf east coz the mountains were there
i explained to a local
he humoured me
tells me 'you should meet blahdy blah, he lives here'
ive never heard of blahdy blah
then, the same place
but with a different kez
same theme pubs
same disillusionment
the endless line of high street eateries
each more predictable than the last
downstairs scofferies or upstairs uncomfortable seateries
why must it be like this?
damn silly country if only somebody asked me
we had to go down to the tube station
or was it the mainline
bloody junkies
sister sludge was on her way
no idea why
vending machines and dirty air
why so grim my beloved albion?
trains to brighton ?! whizzing by
figger that one out.

whats the matter with him?

he's alright
speak for yourself
the love of man
right from the bottom
to the top
little man
big suit
maybe some glasses
foie gras
fat liver
stuff it all down with a stick
its okay we are flemish
stop baking tents
more dongs about mildew and lewd
butane in trite
hunts in a pipeline
beaking in bungs
balking reds; 7/11
gear of shoeslick
the name of this band is fucking cazzo
blue whories
spittle leeches
steakbread
tripe slices

Barton Fink Wallpaper

wallpaper cant ring bells, dillweed

if you're listening Ed, give us a call

why Ed Kuepper is great
by Ed Kuepper
and special contributions by Chris Bailey
perhaps...
Ed is great
not just 'great' but really GREAT
now why is ed so great you may ignorantly ask
well, he is great because he is not a mortal
no, ed will live on when all you lot are decomposing underground
greating around like greatness was invented just for his benefit
which it was...
lets put ed in context
not great as in great britain
thats a misnomer that couldnt be applied to ed
i mean
putting england-small rah,scotland-rah and wales-rah rah
into one country about the size of victoria doesnt really cut it as great
at least not in the ed sense of great
alexander the great? shouldve been called alexander the pants
and gay and of ill defined nationality. Ed would have taken india without breaking a sweat and NEVER would have been poisoned by some panty waist when just about to take the arabian peninsula.
boring
ramses the great? get bent
compared to ed, all he did was ponce about with eyeliner on and spent his whole life working on an iconic symbol to ensure his fame thousands of years into the future. Ed could have one of those, but hes too cool.
boring
'great balls of fire', bollocks!
more like piffling nad globules of a bit of smog wafting off them
ed actually invented rock and roll, some black bloke in the 60's was just copying him, typical...
'great expectations' i hear you whimper?
rubbish! compared to eds genius itd be called lame-o vague hopes of mediocrity
ed could write a much better book than charles dickhead about social inequalities in victorian britain if he felt like it, he just didnt, so bog off!
'great barrier reef', ptoooheys!
just a mish mash assortment of dead sealife with no real attraction, if you were to ask ed. Now, if ed were a barrier reef, thatd be something to marvel at and put your goggles on and stick yer bum in the air about. You might even catch a great tune underwater!
'great southern stand', barf and schlarf!
if ed had designed a stand, it wouldnt be just bits of steel and concrete! itd be a whole new defining moment in standage. like when ed invented classical music and got ripped off by beethoven, ravel, bach, the pompino bros et al. lightweights!
'great wall of china', a deficient childs play!
Ed would never have needed to build a big load of old lego bits to keep the mongolian hordes out. He would have enthralled and entranced them with some heavenly tunes from a nearby hill and they would have ended up bringing flowers to him and writing poetry to the local han population.
you almost get the picture, you cant really get it coz you arent as cool as ed. Indeed ed has also; invented punk before those ramones fools or the sux pistols, got skinny, got fat, got a beard, shaved it off.defeated communism with song called, ed is great, no really, he bloody well is and dont try to argue, coz you arent as cool as ed, invented time travel, designed a cure for aids but then burnt it coz he couldnt be bothered with all the pressure man, proved the earth is lemon jelly shaped, abolished child literacy, held the record for the most amount of paddle pops in your mouth, implemented an atheist caliphate over previously backward arab and asian countries, got off with george bush snr behind the bike sheds, discovered alien life forms and then made a hat out of them, AND really shown chris bailey by not letting him say anything on this blog, hah!

I'm not exactly talking about my friend George

ants in your pants?
seems that way
sneak orf to the lamb and flag
but its not really the lamb and flag
its a larf innit?
no
but its got a pretty silly name
so, how about a bargain pizzavis?
dont mind if he does
check out the jugs on that bar
yummy yummy yummy
how old is that bloke with no legs?
pretty bloody old
he'll be heading south again
too much noise
too much blahdy blah
somebody was sick of shouting
might've been me
cyrllic adaption
there goes whats his knobs
or his dibs
never his hibs
and why not?
no pint on punk for you
the greyhound has bolted
its back to back George
firstly an ickle stop orf
in the lane bar
really luverly decor man
clawwwwsy
then a short trip early doors to the public bar
my little toilet
lavatory no tho
leoning all over the bah humbug
sticking earrings in your not ear
what was that all about
jagermeister shots?
what was he thinking?
bloody pissedvis
probably lots of banging on
willy koder?
what the fuck?
blah blah bocs
that was odd
sheya batemen
somebody's nose on a fort
more beer
english ladies intent on chatter
this is a low

hear hear

The Guardian Online, 20/05/2007
Nimer Sultany

Natives, not immigrants

Palestinian citizens are not immigrants to Israel; they had lived in their homeland long before Israel became a reality.

As the native sons and daughters of Palestine, the Palestinian citizens in Israel are always amused by the arguments: "If you do not like your inferior status - you can leave; if you define yourself as a Palestinian and sympathise with the Palestinian struggle for freedom and self-determination - you can join your brothers and sisters in Palestine."

Of course those making these arguments do not note the irony underpinning their thinking:

First, immigrants - including recent immigrants like cabinet minister Avigdor Lieberman - or descendents of immigrants are asking the indigenous population to leave their own homeland.

Second, through designing state policies, institutionalised discrimination, and a popular culture of hate, they are making the lives of the natives unbearable in the hope they will be "encouraged" to leave.

Third, these arguments are presupposing the false assumption that the Palestinian minority is a minority of immigrants like the Turks in Germany or the Pakistanis in the United Kingdom. As a minority of immigrants they are supposed, so goes the argument, to adjust to their new country of choice and bear the consequences of alienation with the new reality and symbols of the state. They cannot seriously have complaints about their status because they themselves had chosen to migrate to this state. If they do not like it they might migrate again.

Those same persons using this kind of argument will be appalled when anybody answers their complaints concerning "Arab hostility" to Israel and "terrorist attacks" by saying: "You had chosen to immigrate to Palestine and establish a state in the Middle East in an Arab region on the expense of the indigenous people. If you do not like this reality you can leave."

The fact of the matter is the Palestinian citizens did not immigrate to Israel; rather they had lived in their homeland long before Israel became a reality.

Fourth, another irony is the fact that Israeli policies themselves are preventing the emergence of a Palestinian state. By refusing to withdraw from the occupied land, destroying the Palestinian authority in the recent intifada, building more and more colonies and expanding Greater Jerusalem, building a separation wall inside the West Bank, refusing to engage in any meaningful negotiations in more than six years, rejecting and boycotting the democratically elected Palestinian officials (whether Arafat or Hamas government), destroying the Palestinian economy (as a report by the World Bank has just indicated), and cutting the territories into isolated Bantustans - Israel is making a Palestinian state look like a remote dream.

Further, it is making the Palestinian ordinary life unbearable "encouraging" more people to immigrate. The Palestinian citizens of Israel are being asked to join this man-made reality. Just to be asked again to leave.

Of course, the knee-jerk reaction to this last argument by Israeli apologists is: "Israel will withdraw when Palestinian violence ends." This argument does not take into account that the original sin is the occupation itself and that resistance is a natural historical outcome. It does not also answer the question of building colonies and sending more Jewish settlers. It does not as well answer the question why Israel did not withdraw from the Golan Heights.

For four decades, the Syrian-Israeli ceasefire line has been among the most quiet in the world and yet there is no intention to withdraw on Israel's part; on the contrary - its colonies are flourishing. In the last year we saw how Israel turns its back to a Syrian invitation for negotiations. Finally, this argument also attempts vainly to present Israel as a victim, as reacting to events, with no political agency.

The argument "you can leave", however, is not only amusing and ironic. It is also alarming. First, it serves to justify the institutionalised discrimination against the native population. "You think it is bad? We can make it worse," or "You can have it worse elsewhere, so sit quietly." In this Zionist perspective the Palestinian is an unwelcomed and unwanted guest. As a guest the Palestinian should behave, otherwise the citizenship status will be stripped. As a guest in his homeland, the Palestinian is expected to be thankful for the leftovers of rights that the new masters of the land might grant him.

Second it is not just an argument; it is also the basis for serious policy proposals by cabinet ministers, public opinion makers and members of the Israeli parliament. There is a long list of influential politicians, academics and journalists who have proposed variations of "exchange of lands" or "exchange of populations" or even expulsion with the purpose of getting rid of the native citizens and enhancing the Jewish ethnic and ideological character of the state. Two-thirds of the Jewish majority in recent years expressed its demand from the government to "encourage" the Palestinian citizens to emigrate. And one-third of the Jewish Israelis support the expulsion of Palestinian citizens.

These proposals are part of the conception that the Palestinian citizens are a "demographic threat". A Jewish state entails the maintenance of a solid Jewish majority. Therefore, it cannot coexist with a large Palestinian minority. It has been and will always be - so long as it is defined as such - concerned by how many Arabs and Jews were born in a certain year. Every newly-born Palestinian child inside Israel is a direct threat to the demographic equation. That's why serious and prestigious institutions and conferences (such as the Herzliya Conference, the Demographic Centre, the Public Council for Demography) convene to discuss how this demographic threat should be "contained".

That's why Benny Morris lamented (including in the Guardian) the fact that Ben-Gurion did not complete his project of expulsion of the natives in 1948.

The existence of Palestinian citizens in a Jewish and Zionist state reveals the inherent contradiction of the Zionist project: you cannot have a Jewish supremacy and claim that you are democratic because you do not propose equal and universal citizenship.

I'm talking 'bout my friend George

i got an email from George the other day
I was chuffed
the second one in a month or something
now thats surprising
he's living in Taiwan of all places
last i heard he had returnd to the vaterland
to speak francais without the hook
he certainly is a man of mystery
hes married now of course
and has a daughter
i bet shes pretty
it is hard to imagine him wombling the streets of taipei
his all action army scar giving the willies to the kids
mumbling about something
getting all arsey at naughty not chinese kids
i wonder if hes got his mandarin down pat
George always liked patting things
George of the surfboard trailer on the back of the bike
chuffing of down the Gower
scarcely credible if he asked me
George of the birthday trip to Alton Towers
George of the insane blonde hair
the very first tennis ball
George of the honestly coming to visit in the Dordogne
George of the just about to come down to Genova
George of the exceptional crapness
George of the worlds ugliest skoda
George the worst Aussie accent impersonation in history
Struth you George
George of the accommodation provision in Brixton
George of the quiet chat over a guiness or 3 somewhere in central London
safe from the insane hustle outside
George of driest humour
George of the Swiss passport
George of the nose picking
George on the end of another cymbeline battering
George of the Thai restaurant in Salisbury
George of the unmentionables
George had a plan
George may have already been a man
and now the fool is living in Taiwan!

you, yes you

this is about you
not him
or her
its about you
not about missing apostrophes
or spelling errors
i cant be arsed about that
trevor didnt rate a mention
not to mention boris
whoops he just did
fancy being the topic of the least read blog in the place
dont let it go to your head
dont go and get all carried away about it
it doesnt signify any thing much
a blog couldnt signify nowt
even my devoted love blog to catherine amounted to nothing
she didnt even look at it
too busy living the whackiest life in engerland
juicy did see her devotion lite
that was touching
knowing juicy it was probably all about touching
pervy cow
but this is not about catherine or juicy
its about you
you know who you are
you know what you are wearing
you know what it feels like when your smalls ruck up
stop it now
theres no point in carrying on about it
put that thing down
he doesnt have a paper bag to call beatmeupvis
she never shat a satsuma
or is that tsatsuma
wrestling
but who are you theatre?
and neither do you theatre
something about vanessa redgrave
digression is not available on beck and call
you know why you sit that way
why your back arches when you think naughty things
how your seat winds you down
why the riddle of the nuts
and why not
where that scar came from
and the fact that you have a smole mole in that rather intimate of places
and why that dream about the man in the pink suit disturbs you so
only you can tell me that
except there are no words to communicate these things
words fail you
dreams and fears
thats what its all about

slack

innit?

guffaw guffaw

in case you think that this might be made up: www.pompino.co.nz



People in new zealand are pretty smart...

Sports and leshure activities free

Croquet; constipated idiots with big mallets biff a ball at an oversized paperclip. Cucumber sandwiches and tea anyone? Possibly not bad if you are really, really drunk. 1/10
Lacrosse; possibly a figment of someones imagination. Or maybe it's Canadian, regardless it's just pants. 1/10
Cycling; like motorcycling, but with less motor. Big races on roads are quite spectacular but the drugs are rubbish, no buzz at all. BMX bandits was bollocks. Pink t-shirts can be manly.5/10
Table tennis; clear off the dinner, its time to belt crap out of a big rice bubble. not too be taken seriously unless you can use chopsticks with your arms behind your back.4/10
Darts; the most drunken game available. fat old english blokes quaff beer and smoke fags and throw pointy things at the wall. Some bloke shouts One hundred and eeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiiiighty! 6/10
Dwarf Throwing; that's just not nice now is it? 0/10
Skiing; More bits of wood with people standing on them. Often going particularly fast down the side of a mountain. Spettacolare! 7/10
Luge/skelebones; lie down and hurtle down a big icy pole. Get a bit to comfy with somebody of the same gender. Hopefully fall off at great speed. 6/10
Ski jumping; like skiing, except no turning, just flying off a big ramp. great to look at, but is it really a sport? 6/10
Rock climbing; climbing on rocks, with special appeal no nerds who find fake rocks in doors and climb on them.2/10
Boxing; either a sport of gods, a true test of strength and courage or just 2 muscle brained fools beating each other up. The champion is.... nobody knows because there are 14 different championships. 4/10
Wrestling; i think they greeks invented it, but then again they invented gay homsexuality. wriggle squirm and pull faces.3/10
Paragliding; a big coathanger with sticky tape holding a human dangling underneath in a cotton condom. might be fab, might be fatal.And isnt the view so lovely.5/10
Curling; yes they were taking the piss, only invented so england could win something. you need some brooms, some ice and to keep a straight face.1/10
Sumo wrestling; see normal wrestling, except with salt, chopsticks in your hair and really, really big fat blokes stamping their feet in an effort to adjust their nappies. 8/10
Water skiing; boats and sticks. possibly exhilarating if you can stand up, watch out for logs and crocodiles.3/10
Horse racing; cruel and inhumane,and that's just to the little blokes onboard. they are made to wear shiny pyjamas and beat up horses. The horses run like buggery and then get a bit of grass when they win. The owners get loads of wonga. A magnet for corrupt nob ends and dressy uppy posey twats.1/10

Sports and leshure activities too

Soccerball; blokes running around and not scoring very often. remind you of anyone? An awful lot falling over and pretending to be hurt. In certain cultures an inordinate amount of hair fixing too.8/10
Motor Racing; people going around and around on bits of machinery with wheels on them. Often very speedily and often very boganly. alain prost was extremely cool.7/10
Pool/Billiards/Snooker; lots of poking balls on green felt with big sticks. also involves an awful lot of standing around and some bloke sounding very serious and whispery.6/10
Netball; ladies running on a basketball court wearing girly bibs with playing statues as soon as you get the ball. Mysteriously the ball cannot be bounced and you can't run with it. Basketball without the interesting bits.3/10
Cricket; vastly confusing. nothing actually happens. extreme amounts of standing around and a ball and a bat. the rules include silly mid wickets,deep long legs, extra covers and slips. Umpires must be able to stand on one leg ralph maccio style.5/10
Athletics-Track; people running a lot. sometimes fast, sometimes slow. sometimes they jump sometimes they don't. The general rule being, short races are won by big black people and long races are won by small black people. Running birds have scary stomach muscles.5/10
Athletics-Field; a wide variety of people hurling themselves or other objects into/over and generally at things. the hammer doesnt look like a hammer, the shot is just a big old convict ball and the pole vault looks like nothing on earth. High jumpers are very tall and skinny and triple jumpers are just muppets who like skipping.4/10
Softball; a girlier and wussier version of baseball, what's the fucking point? 2/10
Rounders; is to baseball what newcomb is to volleyball, just plain stupid. makes softball seem riveting. good for people with no legs whatsoever.1/10
t-ball; how low can you get? rounders for people with no legs and working on brain stem only. almost as bad as rugby league 0.1/10
badminton; very sweaty tennis like game. dainty little racquets and a cutesy wutesy shuttlecock.Surprisingly fun as you can really beat up the cutesy wutesy shuttlecock.7/10
Squash; tennis played in an oversized toilet cubicle. loads of squeaking and it sore bottoms are inevitable. 6/10
Sailing; a super idea for a bit of 'relax'. Not intended for faffing about and racing as such, far more effective than most sleeping pills. Do not watch while driving or mix with alcohol. you may die of boredom. Also; attracts rich wankers
Rowing; great concept, shit in practice. loads of people with bits of wood, sitting in one skinny bit of wood, shaking their bits of wood about in unison. ends up being quite a drag as every simply MUST take it awfully seriously and are horrid rich prats.

Sports and leshure activities

Tennis; Bungholes in shorts hit a small ball at eachother,vaguely entertaining if one can be bothered concentrating and if opponents are equally matched. 3/10
AFL; Bungholes in small shorts kick etc a funny shaped ball at eachother; fast, furious but a bit funny looking.5/10
Petanque/Bocce/Boules; Pretty groovy game of throwing/rolling shiny balls at another ball on gravel. Don't ask Erik to differentiate if you don't want to hear the word cazzo.7/10
Lawn Bowls; Rubbish old persons game involves rolling spheres fare away and then changing your nappy. Petanque/Bocce/Boules without the good bits.1/10
Handball; who bloody knows? something about a hand and ball, maybe a bit like squash, maybe not. apparently big in some country called europe. 2/10
Rugby Union; fat blokes crunch into eachother while other blokes fanny about. Really quite dire except if you live in Wales, then its alright. 2/10
Rugby League; Fat blokes crunch into eachother. basta. really quite dire unless you have no brain at all. no redeeming features except some wankers get beaten up. 0/10
Ice Hockey; something about ice and hockey, Swedes seem to like it. Good violence and high speed crunching into eachother. Aggro blokes whizzing about with big sticks. good idea. 5/10
Grass Hockey; Like the above but on grass, slower and less violent. crap game, usually played by prats. 2/10
Tiddlywinks; better than rugby league.1/10
Shooting; Stupid idea for a sport, shoot a flying bit of cow dung or a target over there. undoubtedly will help the furtherment of the human race.1/10
Surfing; Occasionally standing up on some wood in the water, compulsive talking about it afterwards to other lobotomised people. good birds tho.3/10
Skateboarding; Occasionally standing up on a bit of wood on wheels, compulsive talking about it afterwards to other lobotomised teens. listening to shouty music obbligatorio.2/10
Rollerblading/Rollerskating; moving around on boots with wheels on them. Good idea except has magnetic attraction for enormous posey twats. 1/10
Swimming; Waving your arms and legs about wildly backwards and forwards for a pre-determined amount of distance or until you knock yourself unconscious. Kind of fun, but not really.5/10
Diving; Hurling yourself off various bouncy and not bits of stuff into water. A bit rascist really, but cool when that bloke smashed his head off with aids.4/10
Water Polo; groups of people wearing girly hats smashing eachother in the bits underwater while pretending to swim after a ball. 3/10 (but i wouldnt tell them)
Horsey Polo: Hassling a horse while waving a stick around at a golf ball. Exclusive domain of enormous rich arseholes. Cool people park their horses with the arse facing the field and sit there til the end. 1/10
Polo Mints; not bad, leave with fresh breath. 6/10
Golf; toodling about a big park with sticks and being cranky at a white spotty ball. Can be quite relaxing, but mostly bloody annoying. 6/10
Volleyball; teams of fit amazon birds bounce around a lot, other things might go on involving a ball. 6/10
Beach Volleyball; Something lost on transferral to beach. blokes in tiny speedos and birds in tinier bikinis hurl themselves around and look very serious. 4/10
Newcomb; Just plain stupid.0/10
Baseball; blokes in pyjamas take turns to try and fail to hit a ball. Very american and very boring (surprise)2/10
Basketball; Big black blokes run around and bash into eachother and inevitably throw a ball into a net. makes you wonder why. Loads of ridiculous rules about when you stick your tongue in the opponents ear and why not? 5/10
GridIron; God I hate americans.big black blokes all covered with tampons crunch into eachother and then everybody stops, repeat for who knows how many minutes. 3/10

crocodile snogging

crocodile snogg-ing
ahhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaa
unusually dangerous I trust you'll agree

the human rice

the human rice was invented by dog
about 45 months back now
dog was watching grande hermano on telly
it were rubbish
big bog boris had just busted a move on treetop trellis
it hadnt gone down at all well
name calling such as slimeball has ensued
and the vulcan volcano
the one with the big ears
kept spitting on plain jane
all rather predictable thought dog
maybe i should make my first letter a capital?
no, then nobody would ever take me seriously
especially not those monotheistic prats
gits with long sideburns and big coats
twats praying to a stone 12 times a day
nob ends singing songs about some still born fool child that i never spawned
sod it
let them all blow each other up with sticks
in my mane
so it came to pass that the human rice was invented by dog
it was only a touch less stupid than a young liberal
but with MUCH less prejudice
the human rice was long grain
with no fabbo added yellow bits
not mad at all about saffron
it rolled around the erf
and practiced cannabilism
it built great temples
and some rubbish ones made out of aloooominum too
it erected statues of dog in its own image
even though secretly atheistic
it kept a wide berth of curry and chili
not to mention those evil icky eels
he sought companship in basmati
and was rebuffed
fucking snobs
it courted a bird called jasmine
she smelt super
at least virtually
and got nowhere in inter racial dialogue with long brown man
downhearted and feeling oh so alone
it tried to invent science
to get up dog's trouser legs
nope, its all hocus pocus
tried to start wars
but nobody paid attention
as it was only a grain of rice
to small to be taken seriously
even with that stupid slug balanced delicately on its upper volta
it discovered a wheel
but he kept getting squashed sooner or later
and was just about to discover the meaning of rice life
when some butthead munched him down in a bowl with bits of egg and bacon

sparring with the (little) man

dont give anything away now
dont let them in
it could be used against you
de fences up
interrogation number bloody
oh what joy
harry is here to help
like fuck
oh, hang on
maybe she is
take no chances
hold the line
let nothing give
a line of questioning
another line of questioning
what do they really want?
is it another evil ploy?
or could it be a good soul
trying to do the right thing?
mental agility pushed to the limit
lucky ive got plenty
amongst the clouds
defiance and indignation
where do they get off?
find the stop and burn it down
scorchiod earth
vengeance upon bad fuckers
2 hours of power
get inside my mind
i bloody dare you
try it on
outsmart the master of sarcasm
too clever by half for a professional
at unhinged age 12
patti smith wouldve been proud
so bring on the next puppet
a hand firmly rammed from below
ever danced with the maggot in the pale matchlight?
dead bats everywhere
are you really here to help?
could it truly be possible?
the hippocratic oaf my arse
sell your soul for a few small beans
like a bow tied twat
filthy little man
did my nifty gothic two step
and astute grape picking
stand in my own way?
trust no-one
look how far it'd gets you
2 years and counting of shafting
whats chance of good intention
kick the fuck out of them while down
at least give it a good hard try
whoops whats this?
a good hard kicked back
i will kick my backside off
a point of principle
even if
in the end of the day it ends in nowt
they will fucking sweat it
and the leeches will earn
but fucked if i will fold
a faceless beaurocracy
soulless in the extreme
the structural incarnation of the culture of me
it's fine
it's legal
morals have no part to play
nobody can be held accountable
every tool just doing their job
manipulate most of the fools some of the time
with fear, prejudice and lies
years of power
but a legacy of shit
theres no glory where you are going
the future will see you as nothing more than an aberration
a nasty little smear
step outside coward howard
insipid worm
you made the ultimate impersonal super personal
insignificant pustule

a chinese midget pug dog sucking meatloaf through a straw

it's nothing personal mind
it never is...

loving living laughing funning life-ing

I love my friends, my wine and laughing!
love to laugh
have a good time and plenty of laughs.
Fun loving girl who enjoys life!
fun & likes a laugh!
have some fun and enjoy life.
and enjoys life!
love to laugh and generally have fun!
who loves to have a laugh
Fun, easy going looking for lots of laughs, good times
Love nothing more than a good laugh, a good drink and a good time!!!
Could Lionel have been right??
Life just keeps getting better
Enjoys a laugh and a chat
good company and someone who enjoys a laugh!
Friends, fun, laughter and good times
Love a laugh
I love life!! I'm easy going and love just hanging out and being around friends
down to earth person who enjoys life
Life is short... live it to the max!
a few laughs and good times!!!
Love to Laugh.
enjoys going out with friends and enjoying life.
Well im a fun loving
and having a fun time,
Happy, friendly .........
love a good laugh..
You only live once
Laughter is the best drug!
believes that life is about living!
knows how to enjoy life if you think we can have a laugh
Life is what you make it..
to share fun times
ALWAYS LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE OF LIFE
Living life to the fullest is my motto
Fun loving
good conversations and good times.... and love a laugh.
Fun, loving, honest, dte, loves to smile, and a good time...
share in the laughter.
I'm a person who enjoys fun
I am looking for a fun
Live life to the extreme!
I'm always up for a laugh
always looking for a laugh
If your looking for fun you've come to the right place.
Life is too short to sit on the sideline…
Life's an adventure,are you ready to join
I’m a balanced person who enjoys having fun
Fun, friendly and easy going... I like a good laugh!
you only live once!!!
I'm just looking for fun and good times
who absolutely loves life, people
Life's to short to have regrets
who knows how to have fun.
Always living life to the fullest!!
I'm Always up for a bit of Fun!!!
Love to Laugh
Not afraid to have fun.
It's all about having fun...
always bubbly/fun
and enjoys a good laugh
looking to have a great time
embraces life to the fullest
trying to get the most out of life.
Life is short so enjoy!
I'm a fun loving...
Are you easy going and fun?
Easy going and love a laugh!!
live life to the fullest
Life is too short not to try something!
down to earth and love a good laugh
I am a funloving and optimistic person
Take a chance...Live life!!!
I am happy go lucky
Happy, fun,
out to have a good time
Friendly...easy going...fun!
have an interesting conversation and a laugh?
Slightly scatty and fun
Without sounding like a cliche...I love my life!
Easy going, fun loving.........
I'm all about having fun, a good laugh, and taking life as it comes.
a little cheeky...and love to laugh
easy going, friendly, athletic, loves to laugh
have fun doing it!
The time for living is now

BASTA!!!

Dan Dan Dan

swearing is good for you
just look
fuck
shit
bollocks
arse
maggoty
cunt
clint
bloody
big jobs
crap
turd
bastard head
tossface
buggery bottom burp
prickhead bungsnap
wanker
god is a poof
gay homosexual ute
look its the door
vaffunculo
big rotten
stronzo
cazzo di merda di puttana
jesus in naily boots in the valley of goat death
pig god
fucking pig god! stupid bastard breath insult
vaffanculo
i think you should go to church today
assssmunch
beavis
suckwhole lemon butt freak nose nad
oh fuck off
right in the ear
tregua di merda
yeah yeah yeah
shit music
musica del cazzo
vacanze anale
bring me a seat
and not your bloody seat
rectal disfunction
dystopian stronzo for brains

Copacobana......

Well, I knew a guy
He topped the lot
He wouldn't publish his profile on RSVP

That's all I can think of for now.......

they think it's all over

it is now...
after that peak of creative genius where is there to go?

The day Beavis finally wrote a blog

errrrr .........