Sports and leshure activities free

Croquet; constipated idiots with big mallets biff a ball at an oversized paperclip. Cucumber sandwiches and tea anyone? Possibly not bad if you are really, really drunk. 1/10
Lacrosse; possibly a figment of someones imagination. Or maybe it's Canadian, regardless it's just pants. 1/10
Cycling; like motorcycling, but with less motor. Big races on roads are quite spectacular but the drugs are rubbish, no buzz at all. BMX bandits was bollocks. Pink t-shirts can be manly.5/10
Table tennis; clear off the dinner, its time to belt crap out of a big rice bubble. not too be taken seriously unless you can use chopsticks with your arms behind your back.4/10
Darts; the most drunken game available. fat old english blokes quaff beer and smoke fags and throw pointy things at the wall. Some bloke shouts One hundred and eeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiiiighty! 6/10
Dwarf Throwing; that's just not nice now is it? 0/10
Skiing; More bits of wood with people standing on them. Often going particularly fast down the side of a mountain. Spettacolare! 7/10
Luge/skelebones; lie down and hurtle down a big icy pole. Get a bit to comfy with somebody of the same gender. Hopefully fall off at great speed. 6/10
Ski jumping; like skiing, except no turning, just flying off a big ramp. great to look at, but is it really a sport? 6/10
Rock climbing; climbing on rocks, with special appeal no nerds who find fake rocks in doors and climb on them.2/10
Boxing; either a sport of gods, a true test of strength and courage or just 2 muscle brained fools beating each other up. The champion is.... nobody knows because there are 14 different championships. 4/10
Wrestling; i think they greeks invented it, but then again they invented gay homsexuality. wriggle squirm and pull faces.3/10
Paragliding; a big coathanger with sticky tape holding a human dangling underneath in a cotton condom. might be fab, might be fatal.And isnt the view so lovely.5/10
Curling; yes they were taking the piss, only invented so england could win something. you need some brooms, some ice and to keep a straight face.1/10
Sumo wrestling; see normal wrestling, except with salt, chopsticks in your hair and really, really big fat blokes stamping their feet in an effort to adjust their nappies. 8/10
Water skiing; boats and sticks. possibly exhilarating if you can stand up, watch out for logs and crocodiles.3/10
Horse racing; cruel and inhumane,and that's just to the little blokes onboard. they are made to wear shiny pyjamas and beat up horses. The horses run like buggery and then get a bit of grass when they win. The owners get loads of wonga. A magnet for corrupt nob ends and dressy uppy posey twats.1/10