the human rice

the human rice was invented by dog
about 45 months back now
dog was watching grande hermano on telly
it were rubbish
big bog boris had just busted a move on treetop trellis
it hadnt gone down at all well
name calling such as slimeball has ensued
and the vulcan volcano
the one with the big ears
kept spitting on plain jane
all rather predictable thought dog
maybe i should make my first letter a capital?
no, then nobody would ever take me seriously
especially not those monotheistic prats
gits with long sideburns and big coats
twats praying to a stone 12 times a day
nob ends singing songs about some still born fool child that i never spawned
sod it
let them all blow each other up with sticks
in my mane
so it came to pass that the human rice was invented by dog
it was only a touch less stupid than a young liberal
but with MUCH less prejudice
the human rice was long grain
with no fabbo added yellow bits
not mad at all about saffron
it rolled around the erf
and practiced cannabilism
it built great temples
and some rubbish ones made out of aloooominum too
it erected statues of dog in its own image
even though secretly atheistic
it kept a wide berth of curry and chili
not to mention those evil icky eels
he sought companship in basmati
and was rebuffed
fucking snobs
it courted a bird called jasmine
she smelt super
at least virtually
and got nowhere in inter racial dialogue with long brown man
downhearted and feeling oh so alone
it tried to invent science
to get up dog's trouser legs
nope, its all hocus pocus
tried to start wars
but nobody paid attention
as it was only a grain of rice
to small to be taken seriously
even with that stupid slug balanced delicately on its upper volta
it discovered a wheel
but he kept getting squashed sooner or later
and was just about to discover the meaning of rice life
when some butthead munched him down in a bowl with bits of egg and bacon