at least in the top 43 all time most engerlish events in history...
(from the independent)
A ‘niggle’ of Nigels – the collective noun agreed by the revellers
(
SWNS
)
World’s biggest gathering of Nigels attracts 433 Nigels to ‘celebrate Nigelness’
‘It was peak Nigel’
Four hundred and thirty-three people named Nigel converged on a Worcestershire pub on Sunday to “celebrate Nigelness”.
Nigel Smith, 56, the landlord of the Fleece Inn in Bretforton,
organised the gathering in a bid to stop the name dying out after he
discovered that there had been no babies named Nigel in 2016.
The event is believed to have set a new world record
for the largest gathering of Nigels in one place, with attendees
presenting photo identification and signing the ‘Book of Nigel’ for
Guinness verification purposes.
All Nigels were given a free pint and a Nigel badge, while other guests were given a non-Nigel badge.
“A man who changed his name from Nigel to Niall came and we convinced him to pull himself together,” said Mr Smith.
Attendees signing the ‘Book of Nigel’ (SWNS)
Awards were given for the furthest travelled, the youngest and
oldest Nigels, with the youngest coming in at just seven months old,
suggesting a future for the denigrated name.
The group even agreed a collective noun for Nigels: a niggle of Nigels.
Mr Smith said: “In the year I was born, 1963, there were over 5,000 Nigels born.
“It was peak Nigel.
“It was so ubiquitous and it became much maligned. At school I used to have the mickey taken out of me,” he said.
Mr Smith suggested that the Nigel Farage effect – “the Nigel who
shall not be named” – may have contributed to the demise in popularity
of the name.
Nigels travelled from Scotland, Newcastle and Cornwall for for Nigel-related revelry, with some coming as far as the US.
“Texan Nigel”, who lives in Denver, Colorado, had his trip to the
soiree crowdfunded by friends and family, making him “not only our
Texan Nigel, but also our crowdfunded Nigel”.
The event raised funds for the British Heart Foundation “because us Nigels are getting to a certain age”.
Mr Smith believes the event has served to improve the name’s reputation.
“I think we’ve brought it back,’ he said.
‘We will resurge – there’ll be a lot more Nigels next year than this year, I’d definitely put money on that.
“And we’ve just taken away a little bit of that stigma and
reaffirmed what a fantastic name Nigel is – once you’ve grown into it.
It takes a little while,” he added.
The
Melbourne suburb of Flemington is largely composed of ‘character
buildings’, otherwise known as ‘butt-ugly state housing slum towers’.
Despite being home to a diverse array of deadshits and deros, the suburb
is known by most Australians for one thing only: the annual Melbourne
Cup.
Australasia’s pre-eminent public horse-abuse holiday, the
Melbourne Cup is the only iconic sporting event where you can eat the
losers. Internationally renown as ‘the race that stops a nation’ the
Melbourne Cup has been won by a slew of famous nags such as Phar Lap,
Makybe Diva and Pauline Hanson. Despite its pretension towards
sophistication horse racing is basically bullfights for the bourgeois,
an excuse to let suburbanites dress a bit fancy and watch a midget flog
half a tonne of future dog roll while losing a week’s wages on a poorly
constructed trifecta. Most of the horses are owned by truly
objectionable people like minor royals, oil sheiks and property
developers.
The Melbourne
Cup is celebrated with a massive orgy of public spewing and fighting,
something it shares with other national holidays such as Australia Day
and Kylie Minogue’s birthday. Post-race news coverage is dominated by
footage of half-cut slags collapsing into hedges and fishing piss-soaked
fascinators out of the gutter. A common sight at Flemington is tradies
who turn up buzzing after an intensive spell of preloading, only to be
disappointed when they find out that a handicap race doesn’t feature
Down syndrome people doing hurdles.
Phlemington might be best
known for a racecourse but the only race worth winning is being the
first person on the last tram out of town.
definitely in my top 10 of all time
it just had all the buttons lined up in row
then smashed the living fuckery out them with a traction engine arsed hammer
all the characters were just shits
and their innate shittery just brought them undone
again and again
john cusack was such a weaselly little turd
cameron diaz was not at all rica
the hot chick at work was outrageously sexy and amoral
and jm allowed himself to look like a right prat
and to just be a vassal!
(how lacking in ego must he be to allow that shit)
its smart
fantastical
funny
sexy
bizarre
profound
and
wrong
with all due respect to gavin and stacy
although billericay dicky's hair can fuck off
and big respect to roooooth
and none to that smug fat twat
but its not really an island is it?
its not even an approximation
even after 17 pints of brains
and some nose powder in the lavvy
of the prince of darkness
so the ancient egyptians didnt just build pyramidial based theme parks in the desert
they didnt just pull your brain out through for nose with a crochet hook
they didnt just hang out with cats and go, 'ooh micio micino micetto'
they didnt just marry their baby brothers and bring forth a dynasty of blokes with suspiciously child bearing hips
they didnt just hang out with animal headed GODS
they also did the counting thing in a predictably pictographic stylish as fuck manner...
the highlights:
1000 = an electric guitar impaling pacman
10000 = ET's finger (who built the pyramids etc?!)
100000 = toad of toad hall
and winner is....
ONE miiiillion = a bloke gesticulating 'thats a fucking fuck ton, that is'
mentre on parle de l'afrique, la guerre, l'avarice et les mineraux rares...
en la C.A.R
un des pays plus pauvres du monde
ou il y a toujours une guerre
ou les gents n'ont pas assez de manger
ou la mortalite enfantil est entre les plus haute du monde
et
ou il y a une grande richesse des minerales rares
quelle grande surprise!
donc
il y a eu beaucoup de pays riches avec les mains dedans
mais le pays plus recente d'en faire les nouvelles
c'est la russie!
wooohoo!
ouais!
la russie!
tout le monde sait de la democratie russe
de un monsieur put(a)ain
ouais, celui!
le sen-sai de judo
le lutteur des ours
le cavalier des unicornes
l'inventeur de la russie moderne!
(et super grande fils de pute)
et combien lui croit dans les droits humaines!
mais quand meme
dans un periode quand il y a beaucoup des journalistes ont etes asassines
(un motif vachement inconnu en russie!)
on trouve un video en francais
sur comme la grande russie se trouve la bas
pour defendre le peuple CAR
de les hyenes internationaux!
ils sont les bendits
ils ont de la chance!
conspiracy theory
timothy leary!
did the euro-gringo empire kill the leader of the UN to keep their mitts on precious congo ores?
were they also in bed with white racist apart-height nutters to kill black africans with aids injections?
sounds daft?
maybe it is!
watch this feckin fillum
for plausible white suited carry on (uppish the congo)!
Igor et Grichka Bogdanoff sont des
frères jumeaux français fous, animateurs et producteurs de télévision et
essayistes, s'étant illustrés, depuis les années 1970 dans les domaines
de la vulgarisation scientifique, de la cosmologie et de la
science-fiction.(wiki)
ils etaient des 'heart throbs', maintenant il sont seulement des monstres
et ce n'est pas une blague!
putain!
peut-etre carl sagan etait chanceux de mourir jeune..
Francesco Redi was an Italian
physician, naturalist, biologist, poet and rent boy. He is referred to as the
"founder of experimental biology", as the "father of modern
parasitology" and "wig wearing mentalist". He was the first person to challenge the theory of
spontaneous generation by demonstrating that maggots come from eggs of
flies and that half a line of go faster powder makes you most clevererer.
before he showed up with his classic 'do, people believed that maggots came about by spontaneous generation. ie. they just showed up after a few beers when the corpse was rotten enuff. FR quote "before my jar based shenanigans, people were just credulous fools, and btw, check out my fucking huuuge hair"
Martin Scorsese says Marvel movies are 'not cinema'
The director says he has tried and failed to watch the new brand of superhero films, which he likens to theme parks
Martin Scorsese,
one of cinema’s most venerated current directors, has decried superhero
movies – the dominant force in today’s industry. The director of films
such as Taxi Driver, Raging Bull and Goodfellas told Empire magazine
that his attempts to get up to speed with contemporary superhero films
had failed.
“I tried, you know?” the director said when asked if he had seen Marvel’s movies. “But that’s not cinema.”
He continued: “Honestly, the closest I can think of them, as well
made as they are, with actors doing the best they can under the
circumstances, is theme parks. It isn’t the cinema of human beings
trying to convey emotional, psychological experiences to another human
being.”
Earlier this year, Avengers: Endgame became the highest grossing film in history after topping $2.8bn at the global box office
(fifth highest after adjusting for inflation). Eight other titles from
the same studio feature in the Top 30 (when factored without inflation).
did kim jong il see team america?
all media stuff points out that he was a huuuuge hollywood fan
he had his own cinema and couldnt get enough of their garbage
so there must have been a good chance he saw it
especially as he was a vainglorious bunghole
surely his little mass murdering tyrant brainhole would have exploded
they treated him with such utter and deserved contempt
or even better
imagine if he had heard about it and demanded his lackeys get it for him
then some poor translator citoyen would have had to decide
how to translate it!
should he do a faithful translation
and have his whole family blasted to mars on a nuclear warhead?
or
should he have nicied it up
and been caught out and then had his whole family blasted to mars on a nuclear warhead?
it should have been brilliant
theres jimbo jarmusch making a gorefest zombie flick
starring bill fucking murray!
crispin glovers brother!
that hot bird!
steve legend car buscemnot!
tilda class act swinton!
that blonde chick from those films!
that bloke who was darth vader or his step uncle or something!
with cameos from tom icon waits!
and iggy bloody pop!
and i'll be the first in the neighborhood
to say, its just no good
Niccolò di Bernardo dei Machiavelli was a florentine diplomat, politician, historian, philosopher, writer,
playwright, poet and dub fusion dj of the Renaissance period. He has often been called
the father of modern political philosophy, political science and a human-badger hybrid called Trevor.
Chickens exhibit Machiavellian tendencies, new research shows
Chickens are just as intelligent
as many of their feathered friends, demonstrate thinking skills on par
with mammals and primates, and even exhibit Machiavellian tendencies, a
US scientist has discovered.
A new study, published in the journal Animal Cognition,
has reviewed previous research to find that, despite popular belief,
chickens are intelligent and emotional animals with individual
personalities.
That innocent chicken (Boris of Dorset) may be smarter than you think."Chickens
are behaviourally sophisticated, discriminating among individuals,
exhibiting Machiavellian-like social interactions, and learning socially
in complex ways that are similar to humans," the report revealed.
They
were found to be masters of manipulation and counter-strategies, with
males making false food calls to attract nearby females, and females
eventually ignoring those who made false alerts too often.
Author Loro Marino, a senior scientist at The Someone Project,
a venture focused on changing public perceptions of farm animals, said
that chickens exhibit logical reasoning that humans do not develop until
the age of seven.
"Unlike many other birds, chickens are
categorised as a commodity, devoid of authenticity as a real animal. But
chickens have the capacity to reason and make logical inferences. They
perceive time intervals and may be able to anticipate future events," he
said.
The farmyard bird was found to exhibit social awareness;
capable of waiting for a better food reward, and recognising their
status in the pecking order.
They also have distinct
personalities, with mother hens exhibiting different "maternal styles",
thought to influence the behaviour of their chicks, and have a complex
system of communication, consisting of a wide range of visual displays
and at least 24 different vocalisations.
Some chickens (such as Vladimir, woollongabba) were even observed to display Machiavellian tendencies.Dr
Marino said that the scientific literature on chickens has historically
been skewed by dominant perceptions of the bird as "cognitively
simple", almost exclusively focusing on their potential as a food
source.
"Chickens are misperceived as lacking most of the
psychological characteristics we recognise in other intelligent animals
and are typically thought of as possessing a low level of intelligence
compared with other animals," he said.
Many scientists think that corvids - the family of birds that includes crows, ravens, rooks and jays - may be among the most intelligent animals on earth,
based on their ability to solve problems, make tools and apparently
consider both possible future events and other individuals' states of
mind.
Meanwhile, songbirds can be trained to understand non-language aspects of human speech, a study has found. And who can forget goats? The quickly learn how to solve complex tasks and have excellent long-term memories, scientists say.
the zim currency was epically todgered by mugabes policies, with daily inflation reaching a lazy 195%
anti mugabe protesters when they rarely werent being beaten or killed
and in good news
robert mugabe is dead
may he rot in non existent hell
piece of shit
he was a leader of zanu pf
one of the major parties fighting to end racist white rule in zimbabwe
in a brutal struggle
they overthrow the old rhodesian scumbag government
and brought democracy to zimbabwe
he was a hero to many for his fight against racist filth colonialists
but when he got into power
he did whatever it took to keep it
and ending up fucking his country harder than the white fuckers
as southern rhodesia
it had been one of the richest countries in africa
with its wonderful climate for agriculture
it had been known as the bread basket of southern africa
unfortunately that had come about because the colonialist pricks
stole all the land
and farmed it in a modern productive manner
following independence
mugabe and cronies
took measures to redress the unfair land distribution
by using murderous means
and then giving the land to his mates
his 'veterans'
only some of which were veterans
and all of which belonged to his political party
thus replacing white shits with ... black shits
that caused a collapse in food production
and the economy in general
causing extreme poverty and malnutrition
as the situation got worse
and people turned against him
he persecuted the ndebele speaking minority
and he used many of the same methods as the colonial turds that preceded him
violence, intimidation, election rigging and general cuntery
he was an utter piece of shit
causing untold suffering to millions of people
which still plays out today
including in the townships of south africa
where they are treated terribly by the locals
(the thompson twins, 80s synth groovers, hairspray addicts and perhaps surprisingly, yuma fans)
yuma is a town in south western arizona
it was the ultimate resting place of alphonse
our trusty and very gringo steed
alphonse died in the evening on the highway from arizona to san diego
not a massively long time after i took a turn behind the wheel
fuck you alphonse!
(and he'd already shat himself at the border crossing at nogales
that was a classy look, the twat!)
we had to hitch in the dark
in the fucking desert
trying not to think about all the gun nutters in gringo movies
but we got a lift from a lovely bloke
all the way to yuma yuma yumust pay
after our night at hotel 498739 chain
alphonse was fetched and towed back to yuma
to a garage where lots of
tsk, tsking and air was sucked between teeth
and alphonse was pronounced dead fred
the towing cost a bomba
and the leftovers were barely enough to hire a ren'al car
to get us back to mission bleach
and that
was the price that yuma yuma yumust pay...
io adoro i cini
sono stato molto fortunato di averne conosciuti 5
almeno
5 umani
perche ci sono stato vari cini animali
anche qualche giorgine!
e vero se si mette un cino a qualsiasi bestia
si funziona..
e bene
ma
parlo dei cini miei
no dei 1 milliardo e mezzo spagnolo-cinesi
infatti
conosco un argenchino
e lui e super cool
lui sarebbe un cino cino
non si puo essere piu cino di quello
immaginatevi!
cmq
anche se non lo sapranno mai
sopratutto perche non sanna leggere l'italiano
dunque
esistera per sempre
questa dedicazione d'amore
gli dico
grazie mille per la felicita
che mi avete regalato
siete stati la parte piu bella della mia vita
da tanti anni
vi voglio bene...
its true that the 70s music scene
was full of smugly self righteous stupidly side burned hippies with their fucking hammers of love
and indulgent proggers setting the controls for the heart of their oh so clever clog buttholes
which all gave way to john travoltingly lapelled disco sick
and punk rock saved our saouls etc etc
which is a good enough reason to steer clear of it
for a healthy couple of siecles
but yet!
under all that distasteful schlock
that look at me, look at me, i got an b in applied mathemathics
and nauseous preachy twattery
there was a triumvirate of magnificence
legends of cool
icons of not giving a fook
and part time doughnutters
BOWIE!
IGGY!
and
LOU FUCKING REED!
the phrase 'legend cars' doesnt get used much these days
hopefully not at all
but these particular vehicules
were light years beyond legendary...
j'adore la langue francaise
elle est tres tres douce
elle est la langue plus sexy
elle est la langue de mes amis
mes amis a paris
mes amis a tanger, casa, rabat et plus
les amis de l'algerie et tunisie
mes amis dans la dordogne
mes amis rhonais
et les amis des autres partis du hexagon
mes amis dans la costa azzurra
(sorry)
gli amici corsi
(sorry, not sorry)
et mes amis italiens
de ma prof a la coree
et sa famille au canada
de mes amis inconnus en senegal
en benin et mali
tous mes amis francofones africains
au nouvelle caledonie et tahiti
la maman du super stronzo
les amis belges
et mes amis suisses
des seychelles, martinique etc
grace a la langue francaise
je fais partie de cette societe
a long time ago
on an island not so far far away
i burned down stephen cummings
it wasnt entirely intentional
but neither was it completely accidental
he was there
in that car park
with all the nobbies
and we were there too
i certainly didnt rock up to the carpark with a flamethrower
though it might have been prescient
but as we got down
and viddied our surroundings
i thought i recognized him
was it because he was a bit of a smug git?
was it because i knew he would diss my hero in years ahead?
was it because i had just been listening to porno for pyros?
its a mystery for the ages
but i was taken away by a non nihon divine wind
and
before i knew it
the lighter fluid had been liberally applied
and i was dancing around his flamin body
calling to the gods xyslsyslphone
and tlocacpslockoff
calling on them to accept my sacrifice
in their honour
and to provide rains for our crops
fertility for our women
and another nasty slab of amber funtimes...
c'era una volta un paese
che e ormai scomparso
un pease mistico
dove ci abitavano gli orsi con salame
dove c'era la neve abbondante
dove si davano lavori importanti a stronzi brutti e puzzolenti
e uno spazio che si chiamava porko nero
non era lontanissimo da firenze
dove si potevo andare a un teatro e parlare cazzate televisate
e c'era anche una biancaneve fighissima
ma ora non esiste piu
come il tilacino
era troppo ganzo per questo mondo moderno
e questo paese di meraviglie
come si chiamava?
si chiamava lunigiana
dove si incontravano i lunatici
(utter dildo)
U.S.
President Donald Trump speaks to members of the media after meeting
with President of Romania Klaus Iohannis in the Oval Office of the White
House for the second time.
Alex Wong/Getty Images
Topline:
U.S. President Donald Trump has scrapped a state visit to Denmark after
Prime Minister Mette Frederiksen shot down his idea that Copenhagen
could sell Greenland to the United States.
Trump
tweeted on Tuesday: “Denmark is a very special country with incredible
people, but based on Prime Minister Mette Frederiksen’s comments, that
she would have no interest in discussing the purchase of Greenland, I
will be postponing our meeting scheduled in two weeks for another
time........The Prime Minister was able to save a great deal of expense
and effort for both the United States and Denmark by being so direct. I
thank her for that and look forward to rescheduling sometime in the
future!”
The U.S. President had been due
to visit Denmark between September 2 and 3 at the invitation of
Denmark’s Queen Margrethe II and was expected to meet Prime Minister
Frederiksen.
Trump’s move was met with shock and confusion in
Copenhagen. Former Danish foreign minister Martin Lidegaard said the
incident was a “diplomatic farce.” Former prime minister Helle
Thorning-Schmidt wrote that the move was “deeply insulting” to the
people of Denmark and Greenland.
Officials in Copenhagen and
Nuuk, capital of Greenland, had been firm but direct in their refusal to
consider the sale of the semiautonomous territory on the world’s
largest island. Frederiksen’s comment that Trump’s largest ever real
estate gambit was “absurd” appears to have triggered the anger reaction
from the Oval Office.
What to watch for:
The Greenland spat has dominated headlines ahead of a tough week for
Trump, who will meet G7 leaders in Biarritz, France, later this week.
Trump has faced criticism for his calls to readmit Russia to the group
after it was booted out in 2014 over its illegal annexation of Crimea.
Meanwhile, despite his claims that the U.S. economy is performing well,
Trump is pushing the Federal Reserve to cut interest rates by at least a
full percentage point as concerns about the global economy and the
impact of his trade war with China mount.
The release of
Federal Reserve minutes later today and Fed chairman Jerome Powell’s
speech on Friday at the central bank’s annual meeting in Jackson Hole,
Wyoming, will hint at the next steps. Key background:
Trump’s declaration that he wants to purchase Greenland has been widely
met with disbelief in Washington and Copenhagen, with ex-prime minister
Lars Lokke Rasmussen suggesting that the move was an “April Fools’ Day joke.”
Trump confirmed to reporters on Sunday that he had discussed the
“strategically interesting” concept, which he described as “essentially a
large real estate deal.” On Monday, he tweeted a meme of Trump Tower
superimposed onto a Greenland landscape, and said: “I promise not to do
this to Greenland!”
In
a diplomatic response, Kielsen said that Greenland was not for sale but
that “Greenland is open for trade and cooperation with other countries,
including the USA.”
The U.S. has tried to buy the strategically
significant but largely icebound island on at least two other occasions,
and the U.S Air Force continues to operate a large airbase there.
ian dury thought that golf carts were invented by the devil
lemmy was a compulsive whittler
joey ramone collected butterflies
bowie always breathed on his left side when swimming crawl
marc bolan eschewed lego, but love duplo
suggs sold his left bollock to a marshall at the stadium of light
debby harry thinks that stone rubbing is the path to nirvana
billy idol was into baking blueberry tarts
iggy hoarded embroidered cushions
johnny thunders thought that the moon landings werent faked but penicillin was
roky erickson had a large collection of danish royal crockery
jah wobble insists on 3 snow globes per room in his studio
hugh cornwell fluently speaks hmong
alex chilton spelt kangaroo the italian way
peter perrett wont step on pavement cracks
deniz tek thinks he has two left feet
bryan ferry ironically is scared of water
henry rollins counts llamas when he cant sleep
sid vicious' thought his name was spelled viscous
john cale believes he can speak with the ghost of llewelyn the great
lou reed thought he was a mentalist
ray manzarek chants 'jimbo is a twat' if you play his records backwards
kim salmon prefers tuna
angus young is allergic to knitwear
captain sensible is notoriously easily distracted
the easybeats were a pushover
pete townsend refuses point blank to eat cheese with bits in it
grant hart thinks that rice in the salt is really maggots
and
nick cave thinks that people are really quite nice
we have all heard of the famous explorer
you know the one
hell there was even a huuge and pricey drama series about him
he is famous as all fuck
he allegedly crossed the deserts on a handcart of solid fuck
ate camel chips with the k.ubester
and invented china
until as recently as last year
it was accepted fact that he was from venezia
but not friuli venezia giulia
no
that would be too sensible!
but last year and intrepid adventurer
bravely set forth into the great unknown
of a shopping mall in xi an, china
it was whilst in the untamed wilds of that shopping mall
and looking for a cash machine
that he discovered this remarkable fact
not only wasnt he from friuli venezia giulia
but he wasnt even from venezia!
madness!
he was actually from eire
yes that green and broguey island
with guinness and horrible folk music
most probably from whatever the irish equivalent is
of soapy tit wank
...
yes
its not the forest
the lack of trees
and fog make that plain
and theres no hair product to be seen
no basketball boots
stylishly undone
no pancakes to be slapped on
and no kiss me kiss me kiss me wuby wed lips
but for any bewildered teen
standing on the beach
staring at the sand
it made the side b highlights really reel
(and importantly no arabs were harmed in the making of the track)
and it was oooh so mysterious
who was jumping?
whos train were they jumping?
where the flying fook was the train going?
and how much fun
must it have been
if they kept doing it
again and again and again and a...
(its almost enough to make one take another journey...)
hace mil anos
nop
no mil anios
sip
mil anos
son muchos anos esos
es un culo party
lo mismo
hace mil bucos de culos
antes de que llegaron los criminales peninsulares
existia la grande ciudad de tenochitlan
era una civilization super avanzada
sabian de chocolate
de hijtomates
de tobaco
y de comer corazones
(con chips)
pero llegaron los pendejos espanoles
y despues de matar a todos
con sus armas
sus germenes
y
su acero
se quedaron quizas 10 por ciento de la poblacion chida
y no mucho de la civilization antigua
de hecho
en su frenesia de dios y re de mierda
buscaban de borrar todo la historia de este grandisima cultura
pero
almenos unos documentos
los codecs
aun nos llegue
unos que no lograran a quemar
y lo mas bello
es esta mapa de la antigua metro tenochitlana submarina
death to fucking bread and cheese!
after weeks faffpacking around western europe
and trying to eat frugally due to the fucking price of food
and the pathetic state of the oztrayan (mate) shekel
eg two cows, your first born son and half a kidney for an icecream on nice bleach
consisting of copious amounts of cheese and bread
and loads of guilt for being shit at it and being a general spendthrift
we finally arrived in prahahahaha
where we had been promised all was cheap and cheerful
by the lovely plain jane
and it was true!
compared to the horror prices of engerland, denmark, france and germany
the czech czech czech it out was indeed bargains galore!
(praise be to him)
after czeching into the ostello di gioventu
and getting royally fisted by a bureau de change
for the umpteenth time
we headed to a nearby supermarket to find some nosh
and ended up giggling our little heads off at how cheap it all was
austerity was over
the recession we shouldve oughto to have to have had was done
corny copiousouses abounded
unlike our more grown up travel companions
who had lashed out on a better type of stir through pasta sauce
as their indulgence
i sought out the most ridiculous decadent item possible to celebrate the newfound riches
and after a few short minutes of snickering like a smackhead
who had just found a bin liner full of gack behind the shelter sheds
i found my absurd delice
which i would scoff in piggish abandon
tambien si el nombre de este idiota ya es bastante para enojarme
y mucho
por su politica
que fucking cretino
pero el esta querido y demasiado en mexico
yo lei algo sobre este fenomena
tipo
sus historias del intruso
y el romanticismo en sus letras
tienen algo super atractivo por los mexicas
pero
sus fans mexicanos tendrian que no entender demasiado de ingles
porque sus letras hablan tambien de racismo
y el es el racista!
que en un mundo de drumpf
y su actitud de mierda contra los mexicas
los ensarian una cuenta muy distincta!
pues
este grupo
mexrissey
es un supergrupo
sobretodo tiene musicos de cafe tacuba
que para mi (para nada un experto)
es el mejor grupo mexicano de siempre
y sus canciones
sus covers
son bellissimas
interpretan sus canciones con un toque puro mexicano
o sea
fucking chido!
sure
lord admiral portfolio lungobardo snappypants nelson did a good job
he handed old bony parts his cul
and his spanish mates, their culos
which was no mean pear of feet
but
he went down like he was shot
(by a marksman on the redoubtable)
and he died desperately trying to get (an honestly guv)
heterosexual snog from his sea matey hardy ha
(the origin of the muntzers catchphrase no doubt)
as he lay dying at the battle of trafalgar place (brynmill)
in the end
following nelsons obvious dive
and subsequent penalty
england dubiously won 1-0
and bony parts was relegated to the championship
the king inbred and all the toffs of engerland
decided that he had pulled off such a scam
that wouldnt be equalled until ronaldo in the 2000s
that they built a column in his honour
and stuffed it in the middle of the newly named
trafalgar place square
bang in the centre of lahhhndan
but as they were pompous self important twats
with no self control
or sense of perspective
so now there is a great big fuck off column
in a huge wasteland of a square
and its so comically peter crouch
thats its neither awe inspiring
nor imperiously intimidating
it just fucking screams
'column built by pompous self important twats with no self control or sense of perspective'
as they know it
and millions of sad fanboyies and girlies are traumatised
and it was spent
the dragons and tits spectacular
the most loved telly show since
since not jebus didnt not have spokey dokeys
and it ended with a misfiring squib
being rammed right up the nerds rear admirals
and they are fuuurrrriuuusss
starting online petitions
smashing their keyboards with their knuckle draggy hands
AND WAILING IN CAPITALS
because it didnt end how they had imagined
at the start i found it pretty and pretty uninspiring
all that i am lord trevor, 15th son of the baron of arseloch
i challenge you, king rectinol of the 9th sea of ubersplat
over the death of my favourite long haired gazunderblech
etc etc
exposition? boh?
but after all that was EVENTUALLY over
it did float the limeboat
and the 12 year old mentalists did have a point
the ending was a bit underwhelming
all that epicness ending with
ok, lets all fuck off somewhere else now for some chips
but that was far less tragi/comic
than the chorus of entitled wheezing elderly infants...
as part of the universal education scheme
implemented by the C.R.A.P
Compulsory Rotund Asininity Program
you will submit!
for the lesser good
this film was screened at limebeaver longford gaslight of lumiere
and its farrrrking epically long
three and a half hours
its really enjoyable
just has a bit too much of the obvious
the bad guys are soo bad
the good guys are sooo good
and the young lovers will of course face hurdles
or stumps
but you fucking know they will end of forever together
extra paneer anybody?
Back in the good old days - the second half of the 19th century- before political correctness gone mad etc etc stfu
a 'french' (va te faire foutre, he was corsican) geezer called mariani came up with a popular drinkie and modestly named it after himself.
loads of famous people publicly swore by the stuff
including 2 popes, thomas edison, ulysses s grant, the french pm and emile zola all banged on about how super it was.
in the ads, it was claimed it would restore health, strength, energy and vitality. YOU WANT SOME RIGHT NOW ehi?!
what made it so downright brillo?
it was 'à la Coca du Pérou'
thats right
it was bang full of cocaine
so shove your copycat early coca cola up your gringo arse
this was alcoholic AND it was chockers with charlie!
FOR THOSE WHO CAME IN LATE
OVER 400 YEARS AGO
WASHED ASHORE ON A REMOTE VICTORIAN BEACH
HE SWORE AN OATH ON THE SKULL OF HIS FATHER
HE WAS THE FIRST PHANTOM
HIS DESCENDANTS CARRIED ON
BUT LISTENERS AND JUNGLE FOLK BELIEVED HIM THE SAME MAN
NEMESIS OF MEDIOCRE RADIO EVERYWHERE
HE WORKS ALONE
THE PHANTOM...
.
"It’s time for us to plant you now, dig you later – you take care and whatever you do, make sure you take it and trust the energy, ’cause the energy says you’ll be deeply missed and forever remembered."
this came across my limited scope again the other day
and
yes
its worth a revisit
hell
its quite literally the 20th annif!
and its still fucking 'ilarious!
it made even the most wannabe cynical types crack a giggle on
and sing along in the most appalling of tone deafness one could witness
(between tea break mugs of gin and unsettling winking brought on by incorrect contact placement)
la juve mi fa schifo
sono ladri e imbroglioni
questo non e' un opinione
e stata beccata tante volte
pagando l'arbitro
drogando i giocatori
ecc ecc
ma sopratuto per l'arroganza
la mentalita di 'siamo speciali'
e' una cosa schifosa
communque
nell'autunno di 2001
facevo un soggiorno sconsigliato
all'inghotto
...
una storia lunga
...
e mi hanno offerto dei biglietti gratis
per una partita del champions!
fuck juve contro bayer leverkeusen
si!
sarrebbe stata una figata!
pero quando ci siamo arrivati allo stadio
non si vedeva un tubocazzo
per colpa della fucking nebbia
la partita e' stata cancellata
e non ho visto niente
uselle!
(e fuck juve)
ma noooooo
vi presento la pizza al durian!
si!
e la pizza con quella frutta buona ma dolce
e con il puzzo cosi orrendo
che nei tanti alberghi in asia
non e' permesso portarlo dentro l'edificio!
imaginate i poverini napoletani
che sono stati in asia e l'hanno visto sul menu
