Portoflio eye view of the world- S Part 2

S
Saudi Arabia
Oh dear, is there anything good to say about saudi arabia? The home of fucking ridiculous islam, and the enforcers of the wahabi fanatical version of it (and the money to finance attrocious terrorism, which is then exported worldwide, causing mayhem and misery wherever it treads.... Women dont have rights in Saudi, only old backwards men dressed up like the most awful vision of cross dressers. It is home to mecca and medina, the 2 most holy sights in islam, where millions of people flock annually to the places where mohammed raped a camel and where he fellated a bucket of beetle dung. Unfortunately, they have lots of oil so the rest of the world has to kiss their arse and not tell them to fuck right off, which would be a good idea. Neanderthal morons.
travel advice-travel somewhere else, really, rather and very far away.

Scotland
I think its a country so bog off. Scotland is the neck and head of britain, and not coincidentally the bit with the shittest weather. Having to live on the same isle as the english has been a real bummer for the scots, big style. The scots almost had their own empire when they set up a colony in what is now panama, but it all went horribly wrong. There is magnificent scenery in scotland, lochs and hoots and wotnot and lots of people that are apparently speaking english, but it certainly doesnt seem like it. Famous scottish people include tony blair and gordon brown! har har! and thomas babington macaulay and rod stewart! Due to being stuck with the aforementioned has meant that there are huge scots populations in north america and australia and everybody has to get drunk with murray.
travel advice-its not as bad as trainspotting lets on, but walking around thurso in your shorts in november will get you strange looks.

Senegal
West africa again here and they have some nifty football players which i suspect are called the rampant elephant thwackers or something of the like. They put france out of the world cup a couple of wotsits back and that was fab, coz half the french players were flogged from senegal and other west african states. So, they speak french then, I guess somebody has to do it.
travel advice-check the current political sitch before you go there, during bad periods there is a ban on legs there.

Serbia
Serbia got painted as the bad guys during the ex yugoslavia war, and they bloody well deserved it coz their army carried out some very nasty bits of work, but they certainly werent the only ones. Milosovic is dead and karadzic is in gaol and these days they have stopped being matey with russia which is good thing. Conspiracy theory and timothy leary claim that yugoslavia was dissected by the americans coz they didnt want any mid sized powers. Boh. Anyway, my strange boss in cirencester who banged on about wanking in a sock and never took his cap off claimed to have lived in belgrade and everybody was great.
travel advice-dont mention the war, or eddie the eagle (he's a twat)

Seychelles
She sells seychelles by the sea shore. But she is a bit pricey so she can bog off, you can get them for free on the sea shore yourself, come on, put your back into it! The seychelles are a group of islands in the indian ocean, not terribly far from africa but not terribly far from asia, terribly far the palenque though. Lots of people go there for bleach holidays, so im guessing they have plenty of bleach, in fact its probably magnificent.
travel advice-go there, right now, but clean your boots with toothpase first to get that winning boot smile.