a daftness cup

so today is the big day in melbourne
you know the one
not that other big day
or the one involving revolving lavatories
or some other horse shit desperate cry for attention big day
no
its the day of the melbourne cup
the race that apparently stops a nation
the birds seem to be still twittering away
the bungholes still seem to be poncing up and down brunswick street
desperately and silently screaming 'look at me!'
the planes havent been grounded
and the grapes keep growing on the vines
so it doesnt bloody stop a nation
unless its a different nation that i havent yet heard of
maybe it stops one of those small nations of 7 people in the brazilan amazon rainforest
one of the ones with no electricity and no contact with the outside world
perhaps instead of worshipping grubbs called trevorinho
they drop everything , lunch included
and rush off to their satellite telly which they dont have
and bet on which horse wins
who knows? maybe it forms a great religious ritual
if the horse with the midget wearing pinks stripes wins
it will be a good season for jaguar dancing
or if the horse with the midget wearing brown and yellow boxes wins
the gods of the flooding will drown them all..
etc etc
i heard some buttknocker claiming that it might be the most famous race in the world
i assume his world consists of australia and the bit of bali where moronic australians go to get pissed and then blown up
that seems to be the usual world perspective for australian media types
i have occasionally mentioned this event os.
and people just dont know what you are talking about unless they sad horse snoggers
some argentian horse trainer in a pub in shiplake had
but thas a pretty large stretch
how about the triple crown in the us?
how about the grand national wotsit in engerland?
how about that one in paris?
or a gazillion others around the world with more money?
australia's wish to be noticed is sometimes just plain painful...
pthhhthththt
something along the lines of a third of all foals bred for racing are put down each year
because they arent going to make it...
if a horse 'breaks down' (what is it a fucking car?) during a race
it gets killed on the spot
but if it wins its owners and trainers millions of dollars
it might get a bit more hay
what the fuck is going on with that?
inhumane bullshit is what that is...
and its all done to make money for crimainal scumbags and give suburban bogan wankers a chance to put on their expensive silly hat or a rented dinner suit
gawk at each other in a competition of 'who looks like the biggest fucking idiot'
get pissed out of their brains and then fall over and vomit
along with the truly pretentious twats
looking down their big noses at all
and the wanna be famous who hope desperately to get their surgically altered mugs on telly
and theres all that fashion tripe
that the lepers with a bakers dozen brain cells lap up from their telly sets
as if it actually means something
phththththth
thank fuck theres a day off in it...
pthththththth