waitrose and why its grate

i love waitrose
it is great
they have so much good stuff
sure
its a little pricey
but man o man o man
they have all that great stuff
you simply cannot just enter into waitrose for a packet of crisps
and expect to exit intact
you will purchase 15 extra great things
you will not be able to help yourself
oh yes,
you shall think
i really did need that goats-duck pate
beluga caviar?
how on earth was i going to survive without that!!!?
a mixed platter of prosciutto crudo, salami, bresaola ecc ecc
i surely would have caught a disease without that
olives recently removed from a virgin sloths bunghole....
what on earth was i not thinking?!
alpaca cheese, made only from alpacas between the ages of 3 and 3.2 years
that live above the snowline on mt licancabur
foie gras
piffle and poppycock
foie mega grasso
geese force fed foie gras
from geese force fed goie gras
wine from phoenecian amphoras
sat 2,000 years on the mediterranean floor
a roasted peacock or maybe a cheeky second
basted with yeti blood
the last dodo
frozen in the last great age of ice
with pterydactl ribs

and thats just in the first aisle...
all hail the great Waitrose