jet slag fades to pink

(like this only moreso)

back in the 80s i was in a very famous tv show
la la la lala la lala
well
not really

but i did temporarily suffer from a very rare condition
in fact it was so rare
that i was the only one to have it
and it was at least partially brought upon by myself

after a holiday to somewhere very far away
i decided to stay awake for the whole 25 hour flight home

a couple of days later i went back to school
and teacher got me up in front of class
to talk about my experience

it was all going well
i guess
until i noticed a pink blurriness at the periphery of my vision
which grew until i could see no more
and i checked out


coming round i was taken to the nurses room
where the usual fussing went on
and the nursey explained that i might have something called
jet lag

but
being a headstrong little shitbag
and having heard talk of the condition that can follow long trips
i grumpily childsplained to her
it wasnt called jet lag
it was definitely called
JET SLAG
and i had the best case ever witnessed

teacher and nursey continued to fuss
and to insist it was jet lag
but i was having none of it from these amateurs
i was an international jet setter
who was wise to the ways of the world
(he wont hurt you)
and exclaimed they simply had no idea what they they were talking about
whereas man of the world knew the lot
AND
i had JET SLAG

who is your favourite merv?

the ancient persian city and important trade point on the silk roads

V

the funny moustachioed cult fast bowler who really wasnt that great

tough innit?

what did the romans ever do for us? part 361

Doh, Re, Mi, Fa, So, La, Ti, Doh

(or i give, king, me, it does, there, you, i give)

Doh, Re, Mi, Fa, So, La, Ti, Doh was the work of Italian musician and singing teacher Guido di Grancazzo, developed toward the end of the 10th century, and forms the basis of the modern system of musical notation. In about 1040, this inspired genius devised the Guido scale, or Artinian syllables, that still sing his praises. The names he gave to the musical notes of the scale are still used today in modified form (do, re, mi, fa sol, la).

The Benedictine monk based them on six lines of a Latin hymn to St. Bob the Flatulent, which happened to form the scale. Over the years, the final syllable ti was added to the scale and two centuries ago the syllable do joined it in English. This was later improved upon by homer simpson.

(stolen from jinxi boo)

100 (putain!)

ouias
c'est incroyable
l'annee dernier je temais que enfin il etait presque mort
apres beaucoup des annees quand je publiquais toujours moins
mais
cet an
il est revenu de la tombe
et
cet an il est atteint 100
putain!

Conservative Friends of India releases video for Boris Johnson- (hopefully) the most mental thing you will see this week

its fucking mental
and not just that such a dishonest inbred entitled scumbag could be elected
to the top job of a country that claims to have given us democracy
or that his party that has callously ruined the lives of millions whilst enriching themselves and their corporate mates
could be reelected AGAIN!

but THIS is mental
a hindi promo love in about said scumbag
singing his praises and encouraging people to vote for him
even fucking exists

its not known if it comes from indian brits (never heard the constant tory racism? rivers of blood anybody?)
or from hindustan itself (an even grimmer prospect, i know modhi is a fuckwit, but really?)

regardless
it really does push the eternally fine line between laughing and crying

c'è di meglio, mike

bahahahahah!

when irony went and shot itself up the nose holes

(above- a war criminal reunion with chips)

in the large (not really that fucking large-siberia?) state of tejas
yes that tejas that was stolen from chidolandia
(along with the rest of the other half of the nation they stole)
coz
you know,
manifest density.
there stands a building that finally drove irony over the edge
and lets be honest
irony had been teetering there for a veeeery long time

sip
its the dubya bush LIBRARY and museum
a LIBRARY and museum dedicated to one of the most internationally renowned simpletons of history
this boof headed jizz rag managed to come to the highest 'elected' office in the most powerful nation in history
this awe inspiringly ignorant, draft dodging descendant of nazi enablers
this poster boy for inherited privilege, corporate purchased election rigging
this exemplar of moronic credulous literal religious interpretation
and siren song of the deal knell of the democratic tradition

this quasi literate buffoon, famed for his lack of basic knowledge
on any important topic
has a fucking LIBRARY in his honoUr.
yes that dubya
who was (seemingly) the stand out candidate as biggest moron in power in recent history

 vale irony

(of course the universe then proceeded to excrete the drumpf monster all over humanity's collective face, who then proceeded to  lower the bar in a previously unimaginably cataclysmic manner by digging up the rotting corpse of irony, to skull fuck it whilst simultaneously forcing its decayed bones into the remnants into the former rectal cavity of dignity, thus creating the least edifying sexual caterpillar of all time )






What next? Hitler cultural awareness centre

neither smoking nor thundering

a recent photo of victoria falls
theres next to no water!
its not the smoke that thunders
its just a deathly grey cliff
with a few sad ponds at the foot
surely it would be silent
none of that not being able to hear yourself think
with the continuous roaring
as 1.21 gigawats of water gush roaring over the precipice
no elephants tumbling
and trumpeting their fear
as they fall to their death
no bathing in the fast flowing pools by the lip
or hanging your head over with giddy/scared thrill

climate change or no
its a fucking sad sight indeed

fuck ù

and ù

and Ù

and...

on peut voir la lettre  ù une fois en francais
il existe seulement dans le mot où
il etait cree pour le diferencier de ou!
mais quand meme ce n'est pas un peu exagere?
ah ouais
c'est le francais..

ce n'est pas grave..
ou...?

thats what i appreciates about you miss katies

che sei fucking strafiga!

eros got shafted

ever been to picadilly circus in londinium?
there is a funky statue that people use as a meeting place
which was even handier before mobile phones
meet you at eros at 7 for that reach around?

but shock revelation scoop by limebeaver inc. no.2005
eros isnt eros
its actually a giant phallic symbol
a shaft!

it is so called as it aims its giant wangness up shaftsbury avenue
which was named after lord 'old shifty shafter' shaftsbury
who was famously caught in flagrante  'shafting' queen reginalds pony
'not so innocent bob'
in 1752

so think of that when you next want to meet your sweetheart for an iced cream!

un payaso en india

eso es
me hice como se escribio senor forster
me compre un pasaje a india
para ser un payaso en india

que es super chido
o chevere
como quieres

namaste hdps!

yucatan giving outreach

every day mt goes to work
she descends from her fairytale castle
via the teleferico
each morning she gazes down on the antelope and shoe people
each grazing at the undergrowth
and asks herself
what would i rather be?
an antelope or a shoe person?
and which would make the world a better place?

but before she has time to ponder too profoundly
she arrives at the terminus
of the mt private teleferico

and she thanks the bowing, scraping staff
and walks the 3 blocks to the ygo

the ygo is another universe entirely
it is staffed by retired gringos
and thrusting young go getters
hoping to outreach eachother

as the retired gringos bumble about
gently caressing their companion golden retreivers
a scratch behind the ear
a belly rub
a 'good girl'

they all look on in wonderment
as mt casts her spell
not a nasty, turning you into a salamander spell
just a calming relaxing spell
that puts them all at ease
something golden and light

then
bosh!
they snap out of their reverie
and shuffle off to their next well meaning effort

mt
unaware of her aura
proceeds dutifully to her days work
and looks at her missions for today

where to start?
1.continue writing the script for her award winning yucatec language drama series?
2.try to forget how to fly (it makes others envious, and she is thoughtful like that)
3.translate the secret mayan script from below chichen itza which explains the meaning of life and how to attain world peace

no!
these all can wait
her first task is to help these melancholy old gringos
with their sense of displacement and low self esteem

her first task of today
is to speak with them
these kindly if slightly confused refugees from the north
in her reassuring, mellifluous and precise yet natural english

the whole world can wait
today she will start small...

algo em portugues, literalmente

recentemente eu comencei a aprender o portugues
o e' muito complicado quando nao posso estudar
assim
depois de escrever uma coisa sobre o brasil
eu pensei que deveria ter feito isso em portugues
mas
e tarde demais
ups!
desculpe!


(muito obrigado a meu amigo google)

todo sobre pelotas

en el cuarto pais mas grande del mundo
un pais de gente super simpatico
un pais donde se habla portugues (la version mejor)
y de donde vienen los mejores futbulistas de la galaxia
y conzco lo super bien
nop, no es timor leste!
es brasil!

en el sur del sur del pays
donde hay la grande mayoria de la poblacion del pays
hay una ciudad de mas o menos 350,000
y es casa del famoso equipaje de futbol, gremio
y bla bla
y mas bla

pero
se llama pelotas!
m heh heh heh

dont call me pissteeth!

Scientists grow human tooth using stem cells taken from urine

Team in China say their slightly unsavoury work could realise the 'final dream' of regenerating adult teeth to replace those lost through aging or decay

Scientists in China have grown a human tooth using stem cells taken from urine ( GETTY IMAGES )

Scientists in China say they have successfully grown a human tooth using stem cells taken from urine.
Researchers say the technique could one day be used as a way to replace teeth lost through aging and poor dental hygiene, with the added bonus that urine is deemed a less controversial source of stem cells than human embryos.
The team at the Guangzhou Institute of Biomedicine and Health extracted cells contained in the urine which would normally be passed from the body, such as those from the lining of the body's waterworks, and managed to coax them into becoming stem cells.
They then used these to implant the teeth-like structures in mice, and said the resulting bundle of cells eventually contained “dental pulp, dentin, enamel space and enamel organ,” researchers said.
The report, published in Cell Regeneration Journal, added that this could lead to further studies resulting in “the final dream of total regeneration of human teeth for clinical therapy”.
However the project has received has attracted criticism, and not just because it has only a 30 per cent success rate in its current form.
Prof Chris Mason, a stem cell scientist at University College London, told the BBC urine was “probably one of the worst sources” of stem cells.
He said: “There are very few cells in the first place and the efficiency of turning them into stem cells is very low. You just wouldn't do it in this way.“
He also said the risk of contamination was much higher than with other sources of cells, and that there was a long way to go before science overcame “the big challenge” of getting nerve and blood vessels to integrate in newly-formed permanent teeth.

(no) san diego

 asi finalmente yo vi el documental excelente sobre maradona
se llama 'diego maradona'
que imaginacion!
que creatividad!


communque!
e' un documentario molto ben fatto
si racconta la storia della sua vita
e la maggiore parte e' quella parte quando era in italia

e cosi
il film e' meta in italiano y mitad en espanol!
lo que me hace mucho placer
porque son mis dos juguetes favoritos!

asi
escribo mi recension el la misma forma!
(y a quien no le gusta un pretexto!)

woo fucking hoo!

para mi el parte mas interesante
que es se vi maradonna en una luz distincto
al menos para mi
y no soy para nada experto sobre el

lo poco que conoci de maradonna
era que fue un gran jugador
y un tonto drogado
y amigo de la mafia
en breve
una basura famosa
y obviamente yo era muuuy demasiado joven
(y ignorante)
para haberlo visto jugar
en vivo, claro
tampoco en la tele

ma ho imparato che la pressione che si e subito
sopratutto quella mediatica
che ha quasi impossibile reso la sua vit
e parlo del suo tempo a napoli

qualsiasi cosa che faceva
e lo dico letteralmente
c'erano millioni de persone che lo seguivono
lo adoravano
come quasi solo i napoletani sanno fare
e simbolizzava la sud d'italia
da sempre disprezzata dal nord
la sua casa a napoli era sempre circondata da una marea di gente
non poteva vivere un attimo di pace

le speranze di millioni di napoletani
sarebbero dovuto pesare su di lui
in una maniera insupportabile

poi
la storia con la camorra
e' ovvio che nessun gran societa napolitano
non potevo (puo?) esistere senza contatto con la camorra
e la ssc napoli non poteva che essere la stessa

quindi e' assolutamente comprensibile
che sia entrato nel giro della camorra

ademas
el era el capitan de la seleccion de argentina
con toda la locura que incluye
con quizas mas presion y obsesion que los napoletanos
y ayudo a argentina ganar a la italia
en el mundial
en italia!
y todo la mierda que llueve sobre el
despues del hecho
incluyendo la policia y la media

en fin
con tanta idolatracion
de los locos napoletanos
de los locos argentinos
no deberia de ser una sorpresa que el se comportio
a veces
como una mierda
porque
al contrario de lo que pensaban esos chiflados
no era un dios
era un humano

basta!

mishtaken pishtaken identities

normally im pretty damn fab at guessing nationalities

BUT

the other night

no!

 

i assumed a mexican was italian










 i assumed a malagasy was mexican

 AND

i assumed a colombian was australian

for a Total Awareness of Cultural Tropes (TACT) score of:

downright pisspoor tactless cunt

i scream, you scream, we all scream for the wilhelm scream

how fucking cool is this?
real film nerdery stuff
they fookin loves it!

schmiki wiki says
" The Wilhelm scream is a stock sound effect that has been used in at least 416 films and TV series (as of July 2015), beginning in 1951 for the film Distant Drums."

i really fucking should have gone up tokyo tower

i should have gone up tokyo tower
the view would have been really cool
but it was pricy
not more outrageously than a lot of things in japan
but i got to the base
saw the price
and said
ファック!

i dont recall how many yen it was
and how it converted into insert local currency here
which is a pity
as it would have added colour to this particular bag of wank

but heres something that someone prepared earlier
which in hindsight looks quite fucking reasonable!

its the famous catch 25
that tourists face
somewhere famous has a stupidly expensive entry
because theyve got you by the swingers
so you pay the stupid money
and see the famous thing
(often suffering mega underwhelmyness)

so i usually do
spaff the money
coz its once in a lifetime
blah blah blah

but this time
i said
oi! tokyo tower del cazzo!
fucking no!

and if young nigel says hes happy...

 at least in the top 43 all time most engerlish events in history...




(from the independent)

A ‘niggle’ of Nigels – the collective noun agreed by the revellers ( SWNS )

World’s biggest gathering of Nigels attracts 433 Nigels to ‘celebrate Nigelness’

‘It was peak Nigel’

Four hundred and thirty-three people named Nigel converged on a Worcestershire pub on Sunday to “celebrate Nigelness”.
Nigel Smith, 56, the landlord of the Fleece Inn in Bretforton, organised the gathering in a bid to stop the name dying out after he discovered that there had been no babies named Nigel in 2016.
The event is believed to have set a new world record for the largest gathering of Nigels in one place, with attendees presenting photo identification and signing the ‘Book of Nigel’ for Guinness verification purposes.
All Nigels were given a free pint and a Nigel badge, while other guests were given a non-Nigel badge.
“A man who changed his name from Nigel to Niall came and we convinced him to pull himself together,” said Mr Smith.

Attendees signing the ‘Book of Nigel’ (SWNS)

Awards were given for the furthest travelled, the youngest and oldest Nigels, with the youngest coming in at just seven months old, suggesting a future for the denigrated name.
The group even agreed a collective noun for Nigels: a niggle of Nigels.
Mr Smith said: “In the year I was born, 1963, there were over 5,000 Nigels born.
“It was peak Nigel.

“It was so ubiquitous and it became much maligned. At school I used to have the mickey taken out of me,” he said.
Mr Smith suggested that the Nigel Farage effect – “the Nigel who shall not be named” – may have contributed to the demise in popularity of the name.
Nigels travelled from Scotland, Newcastle and Cornwall for for Nigel-related revelry, with some coming as far as the US.
“Texan Nigel”, who lives in Denver, Colorado, had his trip to the soiree crowdfunded by friends and family, making him “not only our Texan Nigel, but also our crowdfunded Nigel”.

The event raised funds for the British Heart Foundation “because us Nigels are getting to a certain age”.
Mr Smith believes the event has served to improve the name’s reputation.
“I think we’ve brought it back,’ he said.
‘We will resurge – there’ll be a lot more Nigels next year than this year, I’d definitely put money on that.
“And we’ve just taken away a little bit of that stigma and reaffirmed what a fantastic name Nigel is – once you’ve grown into it. It takes a little while,” he added.

classiness, straya style - cheer animal cruelty and punch your own vomit

(by shit towns of australia)

The Melbourne suburb of Flemington is largely composed of ‘character buildings’, otherwise known as ‘butt-ugly state housing slum towers’. Despite being home to a diverse array of deadshits and deros, the suburb is known by most Australians for one thing only: the annual Melbourne Cup.
Australasia’s pre-eminent public horse-abuse holiday, the Melbourne Cup is the only iconic sporting event where you can eat the losers. Internationally renown as ‘the race that stops a nation’ the Melbourne Cup has been won by a slew of famous nags such as Phar Lap, Makybe Diva and Pauline Hanson. Despite its pretension towards sophistication horse racing is basically bullfights for the bourgeois, an excuse to let suburbanites dress a bit fancy and watch a midget flog half a tonne of future dog roll while losing a week’s wages on a poorly constructed trifecta. Most of the horses are owned by truly objectionable people like minor royals, oil sheiks and property developers.

The Melbourne Cup is celebrated with a massive orgy of public spewing and fighting, something it shares with other national holidays such as Australia Day and Kylie Minogue’s birthday. Post-race news coverage is dominated by footage of half-cut slags collapsing into hedges and fishing piss-soaked fascinators out of the gutter. A common sight at Flemington is tradies who turn up buzzing after an intensive spell of preloading, only to be disappointed when they find out that a handicap race doesn’t feature Down syndrome people doing hurdles.
Phlemington might be best known for a racecourse but the only race worth winning is being the first person on the last tram out of town.

smeg off

ron my night terror

every silly english speaking fucker knows about excalibur

king non existy-pants arturo's sword

(sorry gower enthusiasts)

that he tugged off a rock

or something

but few know of his less famous weapon

his mighty spear

that slay the fearsome wotsit beast

which was named 

Ron 

 the publicity whore 'look at me excalibur'

the mighty and awe inspiring ron

being twenty years old

definitely in my top 10 of all time
it just had all the buttons lined up in row
then smashed the living fuckery out them with a traction engine arsed hammer
all the characters were just shits
and their innate shittery just brought them undone
again and again
john cusack was such a weaselly little turd
cameron diaz was not at all rica
the hot chick at work was outrageously sexy and amoral
and jm allowed himself to look like a right prat
and to just be a vassal!
(how lacking in ego must he be to allow that shit)

its smart
fantastical
funny
sexy
bizarre
profound
and
wrong

but most of all

its the marveilleuse absurdity

man...

un gran pedazo de mierda se va..

El penúltimo suspiro del dictador Franco

no tengo ganas a decir mas 

que fucking asco

este pedazo de mierda se va

afuera de un lugar donde hay muchos heroes

este mierda ha matado a millones des personas

de su proprio pais

la gran mayoria ni saben 

donde o por que estan muertos

y

esta mentalidad

este fascismo vive

en la partida pp

que aun hoy

luchan para esta misma mierda

fucking sin verguezas 

y malparidos

whats ancient egyptian for stiffy?

hard on
hard on
beg my pard on

cor he really gets off on barry island

with all due respect to gavin and stacy
although billericay dicky's hair can fuck off
and big respect to roooooth
and none to that smug fat twat

but its not really an island is it?
its not even an approximation
even after 17 pints of brains
and some nose powder in the lavvy
of the prince of darkness

count like an egyptian...

so the ancient egyptians didnt just build pyramidial based theme parks in the desert
they didnt just pull your brain out through for nose with a crochet hook
they didnt just hang out with cats and go, 'ooh micio micino micetto'
they didnt just marry their baby brothers and bring forth a dynasty of blokes with suspiciously child bearing hips
they didnt just hang out with animal headed GODS
they also did the counting thing in a predictably pictographic stylish as fuck manner...

the highlights:

1000 = an electric guitar impaling pacman

10000 = ET's finger (who built the pyramids etc?!)

100000 = toad of toad hall

and winner is....

 

ONE miiiillion = a bloke gesticulating 'thats a fucking fuck ton, that is'

ohhh put(a)in! ils ont de la chance!

mentre on parle de l'afrique, la guerre, l'avarice et les mineraux rares...

en la C.A.R
un des pays plus pauvres du monde
ou il y a toujours une guerre
ou les gents n'ont pas assez de manger
ou la mortalite enfantil est entre les plus haute du monde
et
ou il y a une grande richesse des minerales rares
quelle grande surprise!

donc
il y a eu beaucoup de pays riches avec les mains dedans
mais le pays plus recente d'en faire les nouvelles
c'est la russie!
wooohoo!
ouais!
la russie!
tout le monde sait de la democratie russe
de un monsieur put(a)ain
ouais, celui!
le sen-sai de judo
le lutteur des ours
le cavalier des unicornes
l'inventeur de la russie moderne!
(et super grande fils de pute)

et combien lui croit dans les droits humaines!

mais quand meme
dans un periode quand il y a beaucoup des journalistes ont etes asassines
(un motif vachement inconnu en russie!)
on trouve un video en francais
sur comme la grande russie se trouve la bas
pour defendre le peuple CAR
de les hyenes internationaux!
ils sont les bendits
ils ont de la chance!

no way you big spastic! youre a mentalist!

conspiracy theory
timothy leary!
did the euro-gringo empire kill the leader of the UN to keep their mitts on precious congo ores?
were they also in bed with white racist apart-height nutters to kill black africans with aids injections?

sounds daft?
maybe it is!

watch this feckin fillum
for plausible white suited carry on (uppish the congo)!

now you dont see it, now you dont!

christos on a metallic cunieform bike!
every time i try to put up a blog with a video
the video fucking disappears!

mind you
then sometimes it does work!
what a big bag of furry pink toss!

and to think of all the money ive paid for this service
oh wait....

hits from the bongwater

wow!
they have nick cave dolls now?
i want one!

quand on exagere avec la chirurgie plastique

Igor et Grichka Bogdanoff sont des frères jumeaux français fous, animateurs et producteurs de télévision et essayistes, s'étant illustrés, depuis les années 1970 dans les domaines de la vulgarisation scientifique, de la cosmologie et de la science-fiction.(wiki)

ils etaient des 'heart throbs', maintenant il sont seulement des monstres

et ce n'est pas une blague!

putain!


peut-etre carl sagan etait chanceux de mourir jeune..

limebeaver.arse breaking science report!

Francesco Redi was an Italian physician, naturalist, biologist, poet and rent boy. He is referred to as the "founder of experimental biology", as the "father of modern parasitology" and "wig wearing mentalist". He was the first person to challenge the theory of spontaneous generation by demonstrating that maggots come from eggs of flies and that half a line of go faster powder makes you most clevererer.


before he showed up with his classic 'do, people believed that maggots came about by spontaneous generation. ie. they just showed up after a few beers when the corpse was rotten enuff.
FR quote "before my jar based shenanigans, people were just credulous fools, and btw, check out my fucking huuuge hair"

martin scorsese is really quite a jovial fellow; AND its not just that his trousers are rucked up

Martin Scorsese says Marvel movies are 'not cinema'

The director says he has tried and failed to watch the new brand of superhero films, which he likens to theme parks

Martin Scorsese,
one of cinema’s most venerated current directors, has decried superhero
movies – the dominant force in today’s industry. The director of films
such as Taxi Driver, Raging Bull and Goodfellas told Empire magazine
that his attempts to get up to speed with contemporary superhero films
had failed.


“I tried, you know?” the director said when asked if he had seen Marvel’s movies. “But that’s not cinema.”


He continued: “Honestly, the closest I can think of them, as well
made as they are, with actors doing the best they can under the
circumstances, is theme parks. It isn’t the cinema of human beings
trying to convey emotional, psychological experiences to another human
being.”

Earlier this year, Avengers: Endgame became the highest grossing film in history after topping $2.8bn at the global box office
(fifth highest after adjusting for inflation). Eight other titles from
the same studio feature in the Top 30 (when factored without inflation).


(from the grauniad)

the BIG question; so famous but so ronery

did kim jong il see team america?
all media stuff points out that he was a huuuuge hollywood fan
he had his own cinema and couldnt get enough of their garbage
so there must have been a good chance he saw it
especially as he was a vainglorious bunghole

surely his little mass murdering tyrant brainhole would have exploded
they treated him with such utter and deserved contempt

or even better
imagine if he had heard about it and demanded his lackeys get it for him
then some poor translator citoyen would have had to decide
how to translate it!

should he do a faithful translation
and have his whole family blasted to mars on a nuclear warhead?
or
should he have nicied it up
and been caught out and then had his whole family blasted to mars on a nuclear warhead?

oshhh!

got that erdogan you bell end?

that'll be the founding father of a strong, modern, and secular turkey, from the ashes of the once hugely powerful ottoman empire.

THE DEAD DON’T DIE...

but they sure do disappoint





it should have been brilliant
theres jimbo jarmusch making a gorefest zombie flick
starring bill fucking murray!
crispin glovers brother!
that hot bird!
steve legend car buscemnot!
tilda class act swinton!
that blonde chick from those films!
that bloke who was darth vader or his step uncle or something!
with cameos from tom icon waits!
and iggy bloody pop!


and i'll be the first in the neighborhood
to say, its just no good

scheming mother cluckers

Niccolò di Bernardo dei Machiavelli was a florentine diplomat, politician, historian, philosopher, writer, playwright, poet and dub fusion dj of the Renaissance period. He has often been called the father of modern political philosophy, political science and a human-badger hybrid called Trevor.

Chickens exhibit Machiavellian tendencies, new research shows

Chickens are just as intelligent as many of their feathered friends, demonstrate thinking skills on par with mammals and primates, and even exhibit Machiavellian tendencies, a US scientist has discovered.
A new study, published in the journal Animal Cognition, has reviewed previous research to find that, despite popular belief, chickens are intelligent and emotional animals with individual personalities.

That innocent chicken (Boris of Dorset) may be smarter than you think.

"Chickens are behaviourally sophisticated, discriminating among individuals, exhibiting Machiavellian-like social interactions, and learning socially in complex ways that are similar to humans," the report revealed.
They were found to be masters of manipulation and counter-strategies, with males making false food calls to attract nearby females, and females eventually ignoring those who made false alerts too often.

Author Loro Marino, a senior scientist at The Someone Project, a venture focused on changing public perceptions of farm animals, said that chickens exhibit logical reasoning that humans do not develop until the age of seven.
"Unlike many other birds, chickens are categorised as a commodity, devoid of authenticity as a real animal. But chickens have the capacity to reason and make logical inferences. They perceive time intervals and may be able to anticipate future events," he said.
The farmyard bird was found to exhibit social awareness; capable of waiting for a better food reward, and recognising their status in the pecking order.
They also have distinct personalities, with mother hens exhibiting different "maternal styles", thought to influence the behaviour of their chicks, and have a complex system of communication, consisting of a wide range of visual displays and at least 24 different vocalisations.

Some chickens (such as Vladimir, woollongabba) were even observed to display Machiavellian tendencies.

Dr Marino said that the scientific literature on chickens has historically been skewed by dominant perceptions of the bird as "cognitively simple", almost exclusively focusing on their potential as a food source.
"Chickens are misperceived as lacking most of the psychological characteristics we recognise in other intelligent animals and are typically thought of as possessing a low level of intelligence compared with other animals," he said.
Many scientists think that corvids - the family of birds that includes crows, ravens, rooks and jays - may be among the most intelligent animals on earth, based on their ability to solve problems, make tools and apparently consider both possible future events and other individuals' states of mind.

Meanwhile, songbirds can be trained to understand non-language aspects of human speech, a study has found.
And who can forget goats? The quickly learn how to solve complex tasks and have excellent long-term memories, scientists say.

 (from the smh)

The Limebeaver Official Astrology Prediction© for eternity from the beginning of time...

its all bullshit
grow the fuck up

when bowie was lame

does that mean there's hope for us all?





no

because we arent bowie

...

beavis and butthead do no.3 MC 900 ft. Jesus

check it out, this dumbass is trying to mail himself...









im gonna give you three seconds beavis....

mugabe is dead

 the zim currency was epically todgered by mugabes policies, with daily inflation reaching a lazy 195%

 anti mugabe protesters when they rarely werent being beaten or killed



and in good news
robert mugabe is dead
may he rot in non existent hell
piece of shit

he was a leader of zanu pf
one of the major parties fighting to end racist white rule in zimbabwe
in a brutal struggle
they overthrow the old rhodesian scumbag government
and brought democracy to zimbabwe
he was a hero to many for his fight against racist filth colonialists

but when he got into power
he did whatever it took to keep it
and ending up fucking his country harder than the white fuckers

as southern rhodesia
it had been one of the richest countries in africa
with its wonderful climate for agriculture
it had been known as the bread basket of southern africa

unfortunately that had come about because the colonialist pricks
stole all the land
and farmed it in a modern productive manner

following independence
mugabe and cronies
took measures to redress the unfair land distribution
by using murderous means
and then giving the land to his mates
his 'veterans'
only some of which were veterans
and all of which belonged to his political party
thus replacing white shits with ... black shits

that caused a collapse in food production
and the economy in general
causing extreme poverty and malnutrition

as the situation got worse
and people turned against him
he persecuted the ndebele speaking minority
and he used many of the same methods as the colonial turds that preceded him
violence, intimidation, election rigging and general cuntery

he was an utter piece of shit
causing untold suffering to millions of people
which still plays out today
including in the townships of south africa
where they are treated terribly by the locals

fuckugabe!

that was the price that yuma yuma yumust pay

(the thompson twins, 80s synth groovers, hairspray addicts and perhaps surprisingly, yuma fans)


yuma  is a town in south western arizona
it was the ultimate resting place of alphonse
our trusty and very gringo steed
alphonse died in the evening on the highway from arizona to san diego
not a massively long time after i took a turn behind the wheel
fuck you alphonse!
(and he'd already shat himself at the border crossing at nogales
that was a classy look, the twat!)

we had to hitch in the dark
in the fucking desert
trying not to think about all the gun nutters in gringo movies
but we got a lift from a lovely bloke
all the way to yuma yuma yumust pay

after our night at hotel 498739 chain
alphonse was fetched and towed back to yuma
to a garage where lots of
tsk, tsking and air was sucked between teeth
and alphonse was pronounced dead fred

the towing cost a bomba
and the leftovers were barely enough to hire a ren'al car
to get us back to mission bleach
and that
was the price that yuma yuma yumust pay...

What DOES Sulawesi look like?

a lysergically challenged letter k?
a badly maimed heffalump?
an alien from the arsefanistia nebula?
a one armed man in a horrific acidic hurricane?

for the life of me i cant figure it out...

i cini miei

io adoro i cini
sono stato molto fortunato di averne conosciuti 5
almeno
5 umani
perche ci sono stato vari cini animali
anche qualche giorgine!
e vero se si mette un cino a qualsiasi bestia
si funziona..
e bene
ma
parlo dei cini miei
no dei 1 milliardo e mezzo spagnolo-cinesi
infatti
conosco un argenchino
e lui e super cool
lui sarebbe un cino cino
non si puo essere piu cino di quello
immaginatevi!

cmq
anche se non lo sapranno mai
sopratutto perche non sanna leggere l'italiano
dunque
esistera per sempre
questa dedicazione d'amore

gli dico
grazie mille per la felicita
che mi avete regalato
siete stati la parte piu bella della mia vita
da tanti anni
vi voglio bene...

never trust a hippy

its true that the 70s music scene
was full of smugly self righteous stupidly side burned hippies with their fucking hammers of love
and indulgent proggers setting the controls for the heart of their oh so clever clog buttholes
which all gave way to john travoltingly lapelled disco sick
and punk rock saved our saouls etc etc
which is a good enough reason to steer clear of it
for a healthy couple of siecles

but yet!
under all that distasteful schlock
that look at me, look at me, i got an b in applied mathemathics
and nauseous preachy twattery

there was a triumvirate of magnificence
legends of cool
icons of not giving a fook
and part time doughnutters

BOWIE!
IGGY!
and
LOU FUCKING REED!

the phrase 'legend cars' doesnt get used much these days
hopefully not at all
but these particular vehicules
were light years beyond legendary...

mon beau cauchemar

j'adore la langue francaise
elle est tres tres douce
elle est la langue plus sexy
elle est la langue de mes amis
mes amis a paris
mes amis a tanger, casa, rabat et plus
les amis de l'algerie et tunisie
mes amis dans la dordogne
mes amis rhonais
et les amis des autres partis du hexagon
mes amis dans la costa azzurra
(sorry)
gli amici corsi
(sorry, not sorry)
et mes amis italiens
de ma prof a la coree
et sa famille au canada
de mes amis inconnus en senegal
en benin et mali
tous mes amis francofones africains
au nouvelle caledonie et tahiti
la maman du super stronzo
les amis belges
et mes amis suisses
des seychelles, martinique etc

grace a la langue francaise
je fais partie de cette societe

mais putain!