Portfolio eye view of the world - R

R
Romania
Welcome to eastern europe, land of ickle girls bouncing around on beams and throwing balls in the air and vlad dracul. Unlike its neighbours, Bulgaria, Greece et al the romanians speak a latin based language. It has one of the highest populations of gypsies anywhere which is bad news for the romanians. Communism arrived, built horrible buildings and they also had ceacescu who was a complete buttock of a dictator. Many romanians fled to western europe and became huge maggoty fuckers causing all kinds of criminal grief.
travel advice-count dracula is a real guy, in fact all romanians are draculas, so go to bucharest and and bite someone on the neck to make a friend.

Russian Federation
Russia is big, really, really, fucking big. Not panty waste big like australia or china.. its huuuuuuge. stretching from the baltic to the pacific, from slavic europeans to far eastern asian peoples. Russia has had a long history of being a big bad backwards bully. The tsars were tosspots and kicked about with nobs like rah, rah, rasputin russias favourite love machine. Catherine the great didnt even die shagging a horse and ivan the terrible didnt get that name for being a super fab loveable guy. After the bolshies got bolshy then came the soviet onion Lenin and Stalin, a psycopathic prick if ever there was one. As the 'evil empire' it trashed everybodys houses, invaded afghanistan, murdered anybody with a brain in a gulag, sent a dog called laika into space without any dog biscuits and generally tried to fuck with the whole planet. It fell over in the 1980's but now the kgb is back with vlad the anal impaler putin and russia is back to its bloody old tricks in chechnya, georgia, ukraine and poisoning defectors in london and journalists in moscow. The home of great literature, arts and vodka its just a pity that russians seem to be desirous of a 'strongman (farking carnt) as a leader. It is massively corrupt so you can see why russian chicks are trying to snag foreign blokes all over the internerd.
travel advice- st petersburg would be groovy and there is the trans ringwood railway, just outside zone 3.

Rwanda
Start thinking genocide, Hutus, Tutsis and french bastards (and other westerners) who couldnt be arsed making an effort to save hundreds of thousands of lives because they were black and besides, there was camembert to munch, gooses to be force fed with sticks and rubbish pretentious movies to make. Rwanda is a very small country in central africa that is still recovering from the monstrous genocide of the 1990's and suffered a major setback earlier this year when beavis came by and spoke shit french at them. The good news is that he left and that they have officially decided to ditch french and take up english as an official language... har har.
travel advice-dont get a time machine and go to rwanda during the genocide, that would be very grim and you will most likely lose control of your bowels, if indeed your bowels havent been macheted off.