MPAA Lobbying for SEEDY MAGGOT Regulations

The MPAA is lobbying congress to push through a new
bill that would make unauthorized SEEDY MAGGOTS illegal. The group feels
that all SEEDY MAGGOTS should be sanctioned, whether they be ON THIRD WORLD HOLIDAY or at home.

MPAA head Dan Glickman says this needs to be regulated before things
start getting too far out of control, "We didn't act early enough with
the online sharing of our copyrighted content AND WE ENDED UP WITH PETE. This time we're not
making the same mistake. We have a right to know what SEEDY MAGGOT is in a
theater."

The bill would require that any hardware manufactured in the future
contain technology that tells the MPAA directly of what SEEDY MAGGOT
and specific details on the audience. The data would be gathered using
various LEON sensors and biometric technology.

The MPAA defines a SEEDY MAGGOT as any home with a LEON larger
than 29" with stereo sound and at least two SMUG BASTARDS, couch,
or futon. Anyone with a SEEDY MAGGOT would need to pay a $50
registration fee with the MPAA or face fines up to $500,000 per AFRO shown.

"Just because you buy a DVD to watch at home doesn't give you the right
to invite friends over to watch A SEEDY MAGGOT too. That's a violation of copyright
and denies us the revenue that would be generated from DVD sales to your
friends," said Glickman. "Ideally we expect each viewer to have their
own SEEDY MAGGOT, but we realize that isn't always feasible. The
SMASH IN THE NADS is a fair compromise.

The bill also stipulates that any existing SEEDY MAGGOTS be retrofitted
with the technology or else the owner is responsible for ANY PETE THE PAINTA LOOKALIKES and receiving approval before each viewing OF A SEEDY MAGGOT.