cricket crooked businessmen

so the whole country goes potty over a game of cricket
another whole country jumps in the north sea
and wrings hands as they are bracingly swept away
whats that dad? they are just the orkneys...
its the end of the world as we knew it
and i feel nonplussed
what a truly odd game
5 days
5 fuckign days
30 odd hours
then it all ends up with 3 overs to go...
it aint a matter of life and death
its more noteworthy
lets just run down what it is that has had such a profound affect
22 blokes in white pyjamas
2 blokes with black trousers and white shirts whos job it is to wave their arms around, stick their fingers up..... , stand very still and act all grown up
another 2 blokes have the job of carrying water out to the first 22
and trying not to look disappointed that they werent good enough
picture this bull bragg boy
a huge green oval
thus named after a rhombus
with a bit of hard grass
all beaten up, dried out and squashed down
this bit in the middle a rectangle known as a square
at each end there are 3 wooden sticks
a few centimetres apart
with a couple of ickle twigs between them to make up the castle
then 2 blokes covered in padding of all kinds and big sticks wander out
another 11 blokes wander around aimlessly on this big green space
strangely one of them also has pads and stands nearby the castle
then from one end a big bloke stalks off to fence then turns around to reveal he has a ball in his hand
he runs like a man possessed towards the square
and by warping his body in a most impure manner
he hurles the ball with all his might at the bloke with a stick at the other end
who most times just watch it go by
like you might watch a pink butterfly
then it all starts again
then it carries on
and carries on
with occasional stopping for head and ball scratching
even more occasional hysterics
usually unjustified
and the 2 blokes between the castles rarely trotting back and forth on the square like well train dalmations
after a couple of hours
everybody has a break and then its on again
an again
and after five days
oftentimes there a draw
thats what keeps this country in a delirium and blissfully unaware of the evil manipulations of horrid little smug men