Bruce is never going to call

so we sit about and waste our lives
pretending that bruce will call
we all know that he won't
he can't even use a telephone
and his legs are all wobbly
last time bruce called
18 people in azerbaijan died
of shock
so it's best that we sit about waiting for bruce to call
he might have something important to say
he probably won't
but you never know
just in case bruce might call
the heavens got moved sideways
coz it seemed that bruce might call
bottom cheeks clenched and unclenched
in hope
that bruce might call
sooner rather than later
bruce might call
and leave the world a stranger
but better place
if, on the very, very, extremely odd chance
that bruce might call
we shall rejoice and throw our variegated scarves in the air
dance in circles, holding hands and making sweet passionate love
embracing our neighbours as if they were at one with our inner beings
take that goat,
float that boat
meet that smote
trim that moat
learn that rote
then,
on the other hand
if bruce MIGHT NOT call
well that would be a completely different set of circumstances...