Portfolio eye view of the world- M Part 3

Moldova
Im not too sure about Moldova, in fact for ages i thought it was either a made up country in the tintin books by herge or invented by the working dog people. But it turns out to be real and really quite small. Somewhere near the black sea (or not) and formerly part of the USSR blah blah. The capital is not called bastardville east.
travel advice-a passport rammed up your arse is as good as no passport at all

Monaco
A country? I could have sworn it was just a principality. Anyway its more a farce. A couple of hundred years back it was part of the territory of Genova-La Supeba. And until somebody built a casino there it was a nothing at all, much less glamorous than San Remo over the Italian border. But they did and there was the whole James Bond thing and it hasnt looked back. A big tax haven and run by the Grimaldi family (also genovese) and got more famous when there was a F1 grand prix hosted there and some famous movie bint married into the royal 'ahem' family.
travel advice-keep off the grass, no really, there are signs everywhere telling you to.

Mongolia
Genghis, Kubla and Trevor Khan were all leaders of this north eastern asian former power house. From the plateaus and their tents 'Yurts' they kicked chinese arse so much that the chinese built big lego walls that didnt really do the trick and were forced to shout out 'god damn shitty mongorians!' in exasperation. They also kicked arse all across asia right into central europe, Austria if you dont mind and scared the crap out of everybody on the way with their head chopping carrying on and general brutality. They also built a big kick arse city which was unheard of for a nomadic peoples. The capital is ulaan bator and i suspect 'inner mongolia' was stolen by the chinese because they just looove doing that.
travel advice-dont wander around shouting out goddam shitty mongolians, just a hunch.

Montenegro
Black mountain is it? Something like that if you take its name quasi literally in latin form, but as this is a portfolio eye view of the world not a latin one, bugger off. Its in the balkans, you know the deal, yugslavia, war, for some reason they stuck togther with Serbia after all the carnage but bailed afterwards. The smallest of the ex yugslav countries, with only 600,000 inhabitants, they still have a pretty handy football team.
travel advice-if you cut off your legs, they will not grow back, you are NOT a snail.

Morocco
I have met a lot of moroccans and almost exclusively they have been complete buttheads. But people i know and respect have been there several times and rabbit on about how fab it is. Mahgreb maschmeb. Its the westernmost country of northern africa, just across the med from gibraltar and french speaking. But chock full of nutty muslims which undermine moroccos attempts to be open to the world. Lots and lots of moroccans migrated illegaly to mediterannean europe, spain is full of them, as is france and italy and they are not particularly loved. This is partially to do with racism but more to do with the fact that the imigrants seem to hold zero respect for the host countries, which is WELL fucked up! AND they keep trying to claim Western Sahara even though its patently not theirs.
travel advice-i hear the atlas mountains are pretty fab, but i hear a lot of stuff.

Mozambique
I'm thinking that mozambique would be a fab place to visit, It certainly wouldnt have been until recently coz of all the civil wars and general chaos that follow on from being a portuguese colony. Facing Madagascar on the eastern coast of africa I just bet they have some fab bleaches and wotnot. I cannot expand because I am just so relieved these mofo M's are over...
travel advice-say jzjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjzzzzzzzzzzzzz a lot and see if you are understood or just locked up.