R(imane) I(l) P(uzzone) beavis

the poor moribund giraffe, about to lose control of its bowels after eating the foul snack

it is a tragic piece of news
beavis has been eaten by a giraffe
giraffes have traditionally been known has vegetarians
in fact all records of giraffes
fossil and otherwise have proven them to be vegetarians
moreso than the most righteous northcote dwelling lady
he passed from this earth only 4 days ago
in the plains of burundi
it seems a giraffe thought his daft hair was vegetable growth
the deceased was with a small group of tourists on the plains of garngetfuctman
when a grazing giraffe bored of his diet of thorns and acacia
turned on the unsuspected smelly being
despite the putrid stench emanating from his behind
the giraffe nibbled on the ends of his ridiculous fro
then working its way up
started to devour his head
seeming not content with consuming his classic bone structure
it devoured the rest of his body
only briefly pausing around the waist area
before pinching its nose with a hoof
(a previously unheard of feat for a giraffe)
and downing the offending behindage area and the maggoty legs
the offending giraffe then burped profusely
before turning a bizarre greenish colour
vomiting violently the keeling over on its back
dying a horrible violet death with its legs 34 feet vertically raised in the air
the only remains of the snack was a reeking mound of nasty
which gassed the surrounding 4 km radius with an awful farty smell
despite that fact that there was no longer a butt

long live the beavis, the beavis is dead
butt his rectal odour remains
causing a noxious cloud of death killing approximately 13,000 people in the surrounding villages
and poisoning the earth for the next 2 million and 987 years
long live the beavis, the beavis is dead
butt his legacy remains toxic for millenia to come