Portfolio eye view of the world G Part 2

G
Greece
Im talking about Greece, not grease, that formaggioso musical that ruined millions of childhoods the world over with stupid chin and that-bird-that-wasnt-australian-but-we-claimed-her-anyway-because-somebody
-might-just-one-day-give-a-shit. The cradle of western civilization, that gave us democracy, philosophy, the olympics and souvlaki. Man, they have seen it all in greece, which maybe explains why the men behave like they went back to the stone age. A lot of greeks got sick of it, so they came to invent melbourne in australia and sell fish and chips and fruit and vegetables. Emma is sort of greek and she's way cool and the aegean islands are divine. Athens has fab ancient greek acropolis etc but they lost their marbles (elgin). I first met emma in athens and then bumped into her again on a boat to santorini. They say every greek has a cousin in melbourne, its true, i tested it.
Greece is cool. famous greeks include, alessandro magno, aristotle, phyrrus and arther lucas
travel advice-dont tell the locals that macedonia is a country just north

Grenada
Oh yeah, grenada, its an island in the caribbean. oh yeah.
travel advice-beach baby, beach baby, there in the sand with the sun and the surf and the carefree

Guatemala
Hold on baby, im a coming! Guatemala is right there. Its the first thing you come across if you get drunk in southern mexico and stagger southwards. It is home to the legendary Tikal, the largest remains of the Maya culture in central america, with pyramids so kick arse that they were even used in star wars. Large ththththth alerts all round.
travel advice-dont you fucking dare go there before i do, I am so sick of other bastards stealing my holidays!

Guinea
Its in africa, its in western africa and i dont know anything else about it and as i have sworn off even the slightest research, its swim in pig ignorance time. Perhaps it took its name from the old british money, the ducat.
travel advice-expect a runny bottom if you go swimming in the sewers in guinea.

Guinea-Bissau
is a bit like guinea really, it just has a bissau tacked on to the end of it. Any ideas what a bissau is? Maybe its like 'heights', so it is actually means ducat heights. i wonder what the view is like from there?
travel advice-conjecture, anybody?

Guyana
At least i know where it is, in fact I have been rather near to guyana. so vaffanculo to you... On the north eastern coast of south america is where it is. The good news is that they dont speak thththth or even djdjdjdjdjj like the rest of the continent, as it was a dutch colony until the brits won it from them in a game of soggy land mass. Venezuelans still claim it as their other err leg, coz it sort of was supposed to be spanish or some horseshit. Maps of venezula all have it on it with pretty lines across it.
travel advice-david attenborough has a lot of vowels in his name, he also has fascinating things to say about guyana (unlike me)