all aboard the blandwagon

now who is that sucks the most?
who is that bores the ghosts?
what is the name of the tick that bites the host?
who is that on a spit that you'd like to roast?
who is that you wish you lived in an era of post- ?
it's Turdplay
the junket of music
so inoffensive it's offensive!
boring middle class dirge
radiohead with no bollocks
no ones with no class
not one ickle original idea to be seen or heard
just look mopey and play twat piano solo... that's never been done before
ersatz music that takes the experiment and soul out of music
not interesting enough to be depressing
depressingly enough it's interesting to the masses
ever humble frontman Chris Martin
claims to not feel worth of the popularity
too fucking right
how to make a 3 legged ant with multiple sclerosis
no organs, no sense of smell, touch or TASTE
quiver with delight
or is that just the bit of sugar falling out the rectum?
Gwyneth Paltrow says english blokes are bores
well, hold a stick up to fleet street and show them who's right!
marry and procreate with the most boring bore since boredeville
Sap is a compliment,
At least sap serves some purpose
Drivel is just too good,
Drivel at least has an anatomic function
Shite isn't applicable,
shite can make your vegetables grow
bollocks is too kind,
bollocks carry the possibility of new life
garbage is inappropriate,
garbage might once have held consumables
insipid can't be apt,
insipid only lacks a bit of salt
tripe aint allowed,
tripe is food to some mountain dwellers
bad doesn't cut it,
bad is a place with a swimming pool
Excrement isn't getting there,
excrement can be rhymed with excellent
mediocre wont work,
mediocre implies better than something else
pointless doesn't deserve this rap,
pointless might have a rounded mound
Awful shouldn't be tarred with this brush,
awful isn't as empty as this
Woeful is inept as an adjective,
woeful carries some weight
Trite doesn't get there,
trite at least has been used
Hackneyed is way too kind,
hackneyed probably has a common...


i know a 1 year old who digs them...
(i suspect even he's just taking the piss)