Thursday, April 21, 2022

es como los ultimos 400 anos no pasaron



un conde espanol se caso con la hija de un politico rico y famoso peruano
asi se festejaron su boda
y creian que fuera una buena idea de tener actores indigenas actuar como esclavos
incas
las mujeres lanzaron flores abajo de los piedes de la pareja
y los hombres danzaron encadenados
que fucking class!

por que no los han dado unas patadas a las mujeres indigenas mientres las pasaron?
que sinverguenzas!



Monday, April 18, 2022

vale mr bailey, maybe you werent such a tosser



many moons ago
i saw chris bailey solo
supporting the spectacular johnette napolitano
i was pretty excited about the gig
johnette is a fucking legend
making staggeringly good music with concrete blonde
and then plenty of quality solo albums
and chris bailey was the lead singer of the fucking saints!
sure i hadnt heard much of the later saints stuff
since the mind blowing early punk stuff with the original band
including godlike ed kuepper
but the saints were a big fucking deal
releasing punk records before the sex pistols 
and the same year as the ramones

sadly 
as they didnt come from engerland or murica
they didnt get the credit they deserved
they came from backwards sweaty police state of queensland ostraya
but they were punks from the start

so i was pretty excited to see chris bailey too

unfortunately
he came on stage and wanked on about how cool he was
about how cultured he was
how nobody in the crowd could possibly understand his 'oh so sophisticated ouevre'
he was an obnoxious pompous arse

which further highlighted by johnette
who was graceful, humble and gorgeously self deprecating

the thing is 
he might well have been correct
what he achieved was truly significant
and under appreciated in much of the world

but there no was need to be a twat about it!
i was solidly convaincu
chris bailey equals tosser!

cmq
after his recent death
i heard a long form interview with him
on the radio baby
and he was eloquent, funny and barely up his own back passage
(considering his considerable role in music history)

now hes gone
and another long held certainty is gone with him


Friday, April 15, 2022

buona pasqua del cazzo








quali sono i tuoi fiabe dell'orrore?
i miei sono quali tedeschi raggruppato dai fratelli grimm
e non quelli sanificati
 del fucking disney

pero, anche quelli assurdi dei cristiani sono ben sanguinosi
ed igualmente incredibili...



 

Wednesday, April 13, 2022

Beavis & Butthead do no. 23 - dr dre



you know um, my mum used to say, um, it doesnt matter what colour your skin is, its um, its like, its what colour your skin is on the inside that counts...



Sunday, April 10, 2022

the estimable ms roy ji speaketh desi trutheth




intercommunal disturbance?

far more like part of a long term plan of demonisation of a minority by people in positions of power


stick your hindutva in your culo



Friday, April 08, 2022

las palabras fuertes


viva el pueblo nica!

Tuesday, April 05, 2022

spot the younger drya(d)s




ποιος εγω?



Saturday, April 02, 2022

Beavis and butthead do no. 22 - Soundgarden



So like, a black hole is like, this giant bunghole in outer space. It's like, it sucks up the whole universe, and then it's like, it grinds it up and sends it all to Hell or something.



Thursday, March 31, 2022

when laser gets in your eyes...




 

no

mo salah wasnt transmogrifying into a super funky space alien before his decisive penalty in the world cup qualifier playoff between senegal and egypt

he was being pointed at by "lasers"




by unethical scumbags in the crowd


and

he missed the penalty

and

senegal are going to the finals in catarrh (Human Rights R Us (patent pending))

and

egypt arent


of course its hardly new that locals perform acts of outstanding shithousery towards visiting teams for important games

looking at you mi queridos latamos


and

it probably didnt cause him to miss


BUT 

its disgraceful and unsporting 

so

fucking stop it you gran hijos de putas varias!



Saturday, March 26, 2022

vlads gigantic table

 






whats up vladster, worried someone might put something in your tea?


still, a good name that for a quirky band... vlads gigantic table



Wednesday, March 23, 2022

beavis and butthead do. no 21- Sonic Youth


umm is this romper room?



Monday, March 21, 2022

La Casa De Papel o la tristeza cuando se acaba una serie chida



se acabo
vi el ultimo episodio
buuu!
con todos sus cago en etc etc
mil leches
y hostias
y thhththhthts varios
y las wapas con cortes ridiculos

buuu!


Thursday, March 17, 2022

Tuesday, March 15, 2022

racefugism





Friday, March 11, 2022

ma mims come avresti potuto?




molti anni fa

quando abitavo nella terra dei draghi

avevo un lavoro di merda

in un maledetto call centre

ma ero fortunato perche lavoravo con la gente geniale

e una delle persone simpatiche era mims

era inglesa e studiavo all'universita di dragolandia

era una tipa divertente

con tanto trucco e i capelli tinti biondi

faceva anche la dj sulla radio locale e dei locali

diceva frasi divertenti come

the blobs, swadder e take a slash


ma adesso fa qualcosa davvero diversa

e un deputato per il partito conservatore britannico

non dico che fa le cose cattive ni che sia una persona cattiva

pero

avere un ruolo significativo in un partito cosi corrotto ed incompetente

cosi immerso nel egoismo dei ricchi e le corporazioni giganti

nella indifferenza ai poveri, i vulnerabile e i malatti

e cha ha inflitto il disastro del brexit


e' molto difficile da capire...



Tuesday, March 08, 2022

gits and shiggles




one really has to admire the gringolandia immigration lot
not only are their front line staff obnoxious buttholes
but also
they sure know how to ask the obvious...

you have to wonder how many people have just fessed up when filling in the forms...

5a. espionage? of bloody course i am
b. government overthrow?- only on wednesdays around brunch time
c. industrial espionage?- cant get enough of it!
6. communist? - my middle name is trotsky
7. nazi? - best ask my uncle adolf
8. deported? - just back from camp x ray! (do black sites count?)
9. fraudulent travel documents?- my other, Russian passport would have all the details, or is it my afghani one? its so hard to keep track!
10. draft dodging? - is nam over yet?




Saturday, March 05, 2022

putin his place




GIC giving the shithead an outstanding 'greasy'



a couple of GICs (gringo in chief) ago
there was a GIC who (shockingly) wasnt a total cunt
sure he was a big fan of killing people by video game
and he didnt/couldnt fix a lot of awful shit wrong with gringolandia
but he wasnt a total cunt

anyrue
he famously was good with people
including with the long time shithead murderous tyrant of mother russia
(dominion!)

in this video he describes mother russia has a 'regional power'
which was kinda correct
but more importantly was a truly epic put down
to said shithead 
who believes russia is/was/will always be
a wooooorld power!
and to make MMRGA!





Wednesday, March 02, 2022

hilarious and hopefully a harbinger



mr wannabe big man about town is currently invading a sovereign nation
(us/nato cupidity and chicanery aside)
causing suffering and death aplenty
hes well known for his comic attempts to show off his farcical macho stylings
by posing topless aback horses, flying with geese
and being generally trying to cultivate a tough man image
to hide his pathetic small man shouting at international irrelevance clouds


hopefully his latest act of international cuntery (see chechnya, syria, georgia, ukraine 1)
sees him similarly fall flat on his smug plastic smirking faccia di merda

вільна україна!






Tuesday, March 01, 2022

beavis and butthead do-no. 20 juliana hatfield


dammit butthead why do you always have to tear down everything good in my life?!


Saturday, February 26, 2022

la tusawit lilqarib!



naeam

i was on that festering shit show of a 'boat'
almost everybody got ill
some extremely badly so
even old iron guts got a jelly botty

for days
despite horribly ill people everywhere
management refused to get a doctor
and continued to deny there was a problem
and blamed the mass illness on 'drinking too much and spending too much time in the sun'

investigations proved that many of the ill had got salmonella from the food
and there was faecal matter on several kitchen surfaces

baksheesh my arse
arrogant, contemptuous cunts

still the bloke who worked in the jewellery shop was a good egg
salaam sadiq!