Thursday, October 31, 2019

ron my night terror





every silly english speaking fucker knows about excalibur
king non existy-pants arturo's sword
(sorry gower enthusiasts)
that he tugged off a rock
or something
but few know of his less famous weapon
his mighty spear
that slay the fearsome wotsit beast
which was named 


Ron 


 the publicity whore 'look at me excalibur'




the mighty and awe inspiring ron

Wednesday, October 30, 2019

being twenty years old

definitely in my top 10 of all time
it just had all the buttons lined up in row
then smashed the living fuckery out them with a traction engine arsed hammer
all the characters were just shits
and their innate shittery just brought them undone
again and again
john cusack was such a weaselly little turd
cameron diaz was not at all rica
the hot chick at work was outrageously sexy and amoral
and jm allowed himself to look like a right prat
and to just be a vassal!
(how lacking in ego must he be to allow that shit)

its smart
fantastical
funny
sexy
bizarre
profound
and
wrong

but most of all

its the marveilleuse absurdity

man...

Monday, October 28, 2019

un gran pedazo de mierda se va..

El penúltimo suspiro del dictador Franco






no tengo ganas a decir mas 
que fucking asco
este pedazo de mierda se va
afuera de un lugar donde hay muchos heroes

este mierda ha matado a millones des personas
de su proprio pais
la gran mayoria ni saben 
donde o por que estan muertos

y
esta mentalidad
este fascismo vive
en la partida pp
que aun hoy
luchan para esta misma mierda
fucking sin verguezas 
y malparidos


Saturday, October 26, 2019

whats ancient egyptian for stiffy?


hard on
hard on
beg my pard on

Wednesday, October 23, 2019

cor he really gets off on barry island







with all due respect to gavin and stacy
although billericay dicky's hair can fuck off
and big respect to roooooth
and none to that smug fat twat

but its not really an island is it?
its not even an approximation
even after 17 pints of brains
and some nose powder in the lavvy
of the prince of darkness

Sunday, October 20, 2019

count like an egyptian...

so the ancient egyptians didnt just build pyramidial based theme parks in the desert
they didnt just pull your brain out through for nose with a crochet hook
they didnt just hang out with cats and go, 'ooh micio micino micetto'
they didnt just marry their baby brothers and bring forth a dynasty of blokes with suspiciously child bearing hips
they didnt just hang out with animal headed GODS
they also did the counting thing in a predictably pictographic stylish as fuck manner...



the highlights:
1000 = an electric guitar impaling pacman
10000 = ET's finger (who built the pyramids etc?!)
100000 = toad of toad hall

and winner is....

 
ONE miiiillion = a bloke gesticulating 'thats a fucking fuck ton, that is'

Friday, October 18, 2019

ohhh put(a)in! ils ont de la chance!



mentre on parle de l'afrique, la guerre, l'avarice et les mineraux rares...

en la C.A.R
un des pays plus pauvres du monde
ou il y a toujours une guerre
ou les gents n'ont pas assez de manger
ou la mortalite enfantil est entre les plus haute du monde
et
ou il y a une grande richesse des minerales rares
quelle grande surprise!

donc
il y a eu beaucoup de pays riches avec les mains dedans
mais le pays plus recente d'en faire les nouvelles
c'est la russie!
wooohoo!
ouais!
la russie!
tout le monde sait de la democratie russe
de un monsieur put(a)ain
ouais, celui!
le sen-sai de judo
le lutteur des ours
le cavalier des unicornes
l'inventeur de la russie moderne!
(et super grande fils de pute)

et combien lui croit dans les droits humaines!

mais quand meme
dans un periode quand il y a beaucoup des journalistes ont etes asassines
(un motif vachement inconnu en russie!)
on trouve un video en francais
sur comme la grande russie se trouve la bas
pour defendre le peuple CAR
de les hyenes internationaux!
ils sont les bendits
ils ont de la chance!



Thursday, October 17, 2019

no way you big spastic! youre a mentalist!


conspiracy theory
timothy leary!
did the euro-gringo empire kill the leader of the UN to keep their mitts on precious congo ores?
were they also in bed with white racist apart-height nutters to kill black africans with aids injections?

sounds daft?
maybe it is!

watch this feckin fillum
for plausible white suited carry on (uppish the congo)!

Tuesday, October 15, 2019

now you dont see it, now you dont!

christos on a metallic cunieform bike!
every time i try to put up a blog with a video
the video fucking disappears!

mind you
then sometimes it does work!
what a big bag of furry pink toss!

and to think of all the money ive paid for this service
oh wait....

Friday, October 11, 2019

hits from the bongwater


wow!
they have nick cave dolls now?
i want one!

Thursday, October 10, 2019

quand on exagere avec la chirurgie plastique






Igor et Grichka Bogdanoff sont des frères jumeaux français fous, animateurs et producteurs de télévision et essayistes, s'étant illustrés, depuis les années 1970 dans les domaines de la vulgarisation scientifique, de la cosmologie et de la science-fiction.(wiki)

ils etaient des 'heart throbs', maintenant il sont seulement des monstres

et ce n'est pas une blague!

putain!


peut-etre carl sagan etait chanceux de mourir jeune..

Monday, October 07, 2019

limebeaver.arse breaking science report!

Francesco Redi was an Italian physician, naturalist, biologist, poet and rent boy. He is referred to as the "founder of experimental biology", as the "father of modern parasitology" and "wig wearing mentalist". He was the first person to challenge the theory of spontaneous generation by demonstrating that maggots come from eggs of flies and that half a line of go faster powder makes you most clevererer.


before he showed up with his classic 'do, people believed that maggots came about by spontaneous generation. ie. they just showed up after a few beers when the corpse was rotten enuff.
FR quote "before my jar based shenanigans, people were just credulous fools, and btw, check out my fucking huuuge hair"

Saturday, October 05, 2019

martin scorsese is really quite a jovial fellow; AND its not just that his trousers are rucked up








Martin Scorsese says Marvel movies are 'not cinema'


The director says he has tried and failed to watch the new brand of superhero films, which he likens to theme parks




Martin Scorsese.

Martin Scorsese,
one of cinema’s most venerated current directors, has decried superhero
movies – the dominant force in today’s industry. The director of films
such as Taxi Driver, Raging Bull and Goodfellas told Empire magazine
that his attempts to get up to speed with contemporary superhero films
had failed.


“I tried, you know?” the director said when asked if he had seen Marvel’s movies. “But that’s not cinema.”


He continued: “Honestly, the closest I can think of them, as well
made as they are, with actors doing the best they can under the
circumstances, is theme parks. It isn’t the cinema of human beings
trying to convey emotional, psychological experiences to another human
being.”


Earlier this year, Avengers: Endgame became the highest grossing film in history after topping $2.8bn at the global box office
(fifth highest after adjusting for inflation). Eight other titles from
the same studio feature in the Top 30 (when factored without inflation).


(from the grauniad)

Thursday, October 03, 2019

the BIG question; so famous but so ronery


did kim jong il see team america?
all media stuff points out that he was a huuuuge hollywood fan
he had his own cinema and couldnt get enough of their garbage
so there must have been a good chance he saw it
especially as he was a vainglorious bunghole

surely his little mass murdering tyrant brainhole would have exploded
they treated him with such utter and deserved contempt

or even better
imagine if he had heard about it and demanded his lackeys get it for him
then some poor translator citoyen would have had to decide
how to translate it!

should he do a faithful translation
and have his whole family blasted to mars on a nuclear warhead?
or
should he have nicied it up
and been caught out and then had his whole family blasted to mars on a nuclear warhead?

oshhh!

Tuesday, October 01, 2019

got that erdogan you bell end?


that'll be the founding father of a strong, modern, and secular turkey, from the ashes of the once hugely powerful ottoman empire.

Sunday, September 29, 2019

THE DEAD DON’T DIE...



but they sure do disappoint





it should have been brilliant
theres jimbo jarmusch making a gorefest zombie flick
starring bill fucking murray!
crispin glovers brother!
that hot bird!
steve legend car buscemnot!
tilda class act swinton!
that blonde chick from those films!
that bloke who was darth vader or his step uncle or something!
with cameos from tom icon waits!
and iggy bloody pop!


and i'll be the first in the neighborhood
to say, its just no good


Friday, September 27, 2019

scheming mother cluckers


Niccolò di Bernardo dei Machiavelli was a florentine diplomat, politician, historian, philosopher, writer, playwright, poet and dub fusion dj of the Renaissance period. He has often been called the father of modern political philosophy, political science and a human-badger hybrid called Trevor.





Chickens exhibit Machiavellian tendencies, new research shows






Chickens are just as intelligent as many of their feathered friends, demonstrate thinking skills on par with mammals and primates, and even exhibit Machiavellian tendencies, a US scientist has discovered.
A new study, published in the journal Animal Cognition, has reviewed previous research to find that, despite popular belief, chickens are intelligent and emotional animals with individual personalities.





That innocent chicken may be smarter than you think.
That innocent chicken (Boris of Dorset) may be smarter than you think.
"Chickens are behaviourally sophisticated, discriminating among individuals, exhibiting Machiavellian-like social interactions, and learning socially in complex ways that are similar to humans," the report revealed.
They were found to be masters of manipulation and counter-strategies, with males making false food calls to attract nearby females, and females eventually ignoring those who made false alerts too often.



Author Loro Marino, a senior scientist at The Someone Project, a venture focused on changing public perceptions of farm animals, said that chickens exhibit logical reasoning that humans do not develop until the age of seven.
"Unlike many other birds, chickens are categorised as a commodity, devoid of authenticity as a real animal. But chickens have the capacity to reason and make logical inferences. They perceive time intervals and may be able to anticipate future events," he said.
The farmyard bird was found to exhibit social awareness; capable of waiting for a better food reward, and recognising their status in the pecking order.
They also have distinct personalities, with mother hens exhibiting different "maternal styles", thought to influence the behaviour of their chicks, and have a complex system of communication, consisting of a wide range of visual displays and at least 24 different vocalisations.





Some chickens were even observed to display Machiavellian tendencies.
Some chickens (such as Vladimir, woollongabba) were even observed to display Machiavellian tendencies.
Dr Marino said that the scientific literature on chickens has historically been skewed by dominant perceptions of the bird as "cognitively simple", almost exclusively focusing on their potential as a food source.
"Chickens are misperceived as lacking most of the psychological characteristics we recognise in other intelligent animals and are typically thought of as possessing a low level of intelligence compared with other animals," he said.
Many scientists think that corvids - the family of birds that includes crows, ravens, rooks and jays - may be among the most intelligent animals on earth, based on their ability to solve problems, make tools and apparently consider both possible future events and other individuals' states of mind.
Meanwhile, songbirds can be trained to understand non-language aspects of human speech, a study has found.
And who can forget goats? The quickly learn how to solve complex tasks and have excellent long-term memories, scientists say.

 (from the smh)

Thursday, September 26, 2019

Wednesday, September 18, 2019

when bowie was lame





does that mean there's hope for us all?





no

because we arent bowie

...

Sunday, September 15, 2019

beavis and butthead do no.3 MC 900 ft. Jesus


check it out, this dumbass is trying to mail himself...









im gonna give you three seconds beavis....