Niccolò di Bernardo dei Machiavelli was a florentine diplomat, politician, historian, philosopher, writer,
playwright, poet and dub fusion dj of the Renaissance period. He has often been called
the father of modern political philosophy, political science and a human-badger hybrid called Trevor.
Chickens exhibit Machiavellian tendencies, new research shows
Chickens are just as intelligent
as many of their feathered friends, demonstrate thinking skills on par
with mammals and primates, and even exhibit Machiavellian tendencies, a
US scientist has discovered.
A new study, published in the journal Animal Cognition,
has reviewed previous research to find that, despite popular belief,
chickens are intelligent and emotional animals with individual
personalities.
That innocent chicken (Boris of Dorset) may be smarter than you think."Chickens
are behaviourally sophisticated, discriminating among individuals,
exhibiting Machiavellian-like social interactions, and learning socially
in complex ways that are similar to humans," the report revealed.
They
were found to be masters of manipulation and counter-strategies, with
males making false food calls to attract nearby females, and females
eventually ignoring those who made false alerts too often.
Author Loro Marino, a senior scientist at The Someone Project,
a venture focused on changing public perceptions of farm animals, said
that chickens exhibit logical reasoning that humans do not develop until
the age of seven.
"Unlike many other birds, chickens are
categorised as a commodity, devoid of authenticity as a real animal. But
chickens have the capacity to reason and make logical inferences. They
perceive time intervals and may be able to anticipate future events," he
said.
The farmyard bird was found to exhibit social awareness;
capable of waiting for a better food reward, and recognising their
status in the pecking order.
They also have distinct
personalities, with mother hens exhibiting different "maternal styles",
thought to influence the behaviour of their chicks, and have a complex
system of communication, consisting of a wide range of visual displays
and at least 24 different vocalisations.
Some chickens (such as Vladimir, woollongabba) were even observed to display Machiavellian tendencies.Dr
Marino said that the scientific literature on chickens has historically
been skewed by dominant perceptions of the bird as "cognitively
simple", almost exclusively focusing on their potential as a food
source.
"Chickens are misperceived as lacking most of the
psychological characteristics we recognise in other intelligent animals
and are typically thought of as possessing a low level of intelligence
compared with other animals," he said.
Many scientists think that corvids - the family of birds that includes crows, ravens, rooks and jays - may be among the most intelligent animals on earth,
based on their ability to solve problems, make tools and apparently
consider both possible future events and other individuals' states of
mind.
Meanwhile, songbirds can be trained to understand non-language aspects of human speech, a study has found. And who can forget goats? The quickly learn how to solve complex tasks and have excellent long-term memories, scientists say.
the zim currency was epically todgered by mugabes policies, with daily inflation reaching a lazy 195%
anti mugabe protesters when they rarely werent being beaten or killed
and in good news
robert mugabe is dead
may he rot in non existent hell
piece of shit
he was a leader of zanu pf
one of the major parties fighting to end racist white rule in zimbabwe
in a brutal struggle
they overthrow the old rhodesian scumbag government
and brought democracy to zimbabwe
he was a hero to many for his fight against racist filth colonialists
but when he got into power
he did whatever it took to keep it
and ending up fucking his country harder than the white fuckers
as southern rhodesia
it had been one of the richest countries in africa
with its wonderful climate for agriculture
it had been known as the bread basket of southern africa
unfortunately that had come about because the colonialist pricks
stole all the land
and farmed it in a modern productive manner
following independence
mugabe and cronies
took measures to redress the unfair land distribution
by using murderous means
and then giving the land to his mates
his 'veterans'
only some of which were veterans
and all of which belonged to his political party
thus replacing white shits with ... black shits
that caused a collapse in food production
and the economy in general
causing extreme poverty and malnutrition
as the situation got worse
and people turned against him
he persecuted the ndebele speaking minority
and he used many of the same methods as the colonial turds that preceded him
violence, intimidation, election rigging and general cuntery
he was an utter piece of shit
causing untold suffering to millions of people
which still plays out today
including in the townships of south africa
where they are treated terribly by the locals
(the thompson twins, 80s synth groovers, hairspray addicts and perhaps surprisingly, yuma fans)
yuma is a town in south western arizona
it was the ultimate resting place of alphonse
our trusty and very gringo steed
alphonse died in the evening on the highway from arizona to san diego
not a massively long time after i took a turn behind the wheel
fuck you alphonse!
(and he'd already shat himself at the border crossing at nogales
that was a classy look, the twat!)
we had to hitch in the dark
in the fucking desert
trying not to think about all the gun nutters in gringo movies
but we got a lift from a lovely bloke
all the way to yuma yuma yumust pay
after our night at hotel 498739 chain
alphonse was fetched and towed back to yuma
to a garage where lots of
tsk, tsking and air was sucked between teeth
and alphonse was pronounced dead fred
the towing cost a bomba
and the leftovers were barely enough to hire a ren'al car
to get us back to mission bleach
and that
was the price that yuma yuma yumust pay...
io adoro i cini
sono stato molto fortunato di averne conosciuti 5
almeno
5 umani
perche ci sono stato vari cini animali
anche qualche giorgine!
e vero se si mette un cino a qualsiasi bestia
si funziona..
e bene
ma
parlo dei cini miei
no dei 1 milliardo e mezzo spagnolo-cinesi
infatti
conosco un argenchino
e lui e super cool
lui sarebbe un cino cino
non si puo essere piu cino di quello
immaginatevi!
cmq
anche se non lo sapranno mai
sopratutto perche non sanna leggere l'italiano
dunque
esistera per sempre
questa dedicazione d'amore
gli dico
grazie mille per la felicita
che mi avete regalato
siete stati la parte piu bella della mia vita
da tanti anni
vi voglio bene...
its true that the 70s music scene
was full of smugly self righteous stupidly side burned hippies with their fucking hammers of love
and indulgent proggers setting the controls for the heart of their oh so clever clog buttholes
which all gave way to john travoltingly lapelled disco sick
and punk rock saved our saouls etc etc
which is a good enough reason to steer clear of it
for a healthy couple of siecles
but yet!
under all that distasteful schlock
that look at me, look at me, i got an b in applied mathemathics
and nauseous preachy twattery
there was a triumvirate of magnificence
legends of cool
icons of not giving a fook
and part time doughnutters
BOWIE!
IGGY!
and
LOU FUCKING REED!
the phrase 'legend cars' doesnt get used much these days
hopefully not at all
but these particular vehicules
were light years beyond legendary...
j'adore la langue francaise
elle est tres tres douce
elle est la langue plus sexy
elle est la langue de mes amis
mes amis a paris
mes amis a tanger, casa, rabat et plus
les amis de l'algerie et tunisie
mes amis dans la dordogne
mes amis rhonais
et les amis des autres partis du hexagon
mes amis dans la costa azzurra
(sorry)
gli amici corsi
(sorry, not sorry)
et mes amis italiens
de ma prof a la coree
et sa famille au canada
de mes amis inconnus en senegal
en benin et mali
tous mes amis francofones africains
au nouvelle caledonie et tahiti
la maman du super stronzo
les amis belges
et mes amis suisses
des seychelles, martinique etc
grace a la langue francaise
je fais partie de cette societe
a long time ago
on an island not so far far away
i burned down stephen cummings
it wasnt entirely intentional
but neither was it completely accidental
he was there
in that car park
with all the nobbies
and we were there too
i certainly didnt rock up to the carpark with a flamethrower
though it might have been prescient
but as we got down
and viddied our surroundings
i thought i recognized him
was it because he was a bit of a smug git?
was it because i knew he would diss my hero in years ahead?
was it because i had just been listening to porno for pyros?
its a mystery for the ages
but i was taken away by a non nihon divine wind
and
before i knew it
the lighter fluid had been liberally applied
and i was dancing around his flamin body
calling to the gods xyslsyslphone
and tlocacpslockoff
calling on them to accept my sacrifice
in their honour
and to provide rains for our crops
fertility for our women
and another nasty slab of amber funtimes...
c'era una volta un paese
che e ormai scomparso
un pease mistico
dove ci abitavano gli orsi con salame
dove c'era la neve abbondante
dove si davano lavori importanti a stronzi brutti e puzzolenti
e uno spazio che si chiamava porko nero
non era lontanissimo da firenze
dove si potevo andare a un teatro e parlare cazzate televisate
e c'era anche una biancaneve fighissima
ma ora non esiste piu
come il tilacino
era troppo ganzo per questo mondo moderno
e questo paese di meraviglie
come si chiamava?
si chiamava lunigiana
dove si incontravano i lunatici
(utter dildo)
U.S.
President Donald Trump speaks to members of the media after meeting
with President of Romania Klaus Iohannis in the Oval Office of the White
House for the second time.
Alex Wong/Getty Images
Topline:
U.S. President Donald Trump has scrapped a state visit to Denmark after
Prime Minister Mette Frederiksen shot down his idea that Copenhagen
could sell Greenland to the United States.
Trump
tweeted on Tuesday: “Denmark is a very special country with incredible
people, but based on Prime Minister Mette Frederiksen’s comments, that
she would have no interest in discussing the purchase of Greenland, I
will be postponing our meeting scheduled in two weeks for another
time........The Prime Minister was able to save a great deal of expense
and effort for both the United States and Denmark by being so direct. I
thank her for that and look forward to rescheduling sometime in the
future!”
The U.S. President had been due
to visit Denmark between September 2 and 3 at the invitation of
Denmark’s Queen Margrethe II and was expected to meet Prime Minister
Frederiksen.
Trump’s move was met with shock and confusion in
Copenhagen. Former Danish foreign minister Martin Lidegaard said the
incident was a “diplomatic farce.” Former prime minister Helle
Thorning-Schmidt wrote that the move was “deeply insulting” to the
people of Denmark and Greenland.
Officials in Copenhagen and
Nuuk, capital of Greenland, had been firm but direct in their refusal to
consider the sale of the semiautonomous territory on the world’s
largest island. Frederiksen’s comment that Trump’s largest ever real
estate gambit was “absurd” appears to have triggered the anger reaction
from the Oval Office.
What to watch for:
The Greenland spat has dominated headlines ahead of a tough week for
Trump, who will meet G7 leaders in Biarritz, France, later this week.
Trump has faced criticism for his calls to readmit Russia to the group
after it was booted out in 2014 over its illegal annexation of Crimea.
Meanwhile, despite his claims that the U.S. economy is performing well,
Trump is pushing the Federal Reserve to cut interest rates by at least a
full percentage point as concerns about the global economy and the
impact of his trade war with China mount.
The release of
Federal Reserve minutes later today and Fed chairman Jerome Powell’s
speech on Friday at the central bank’s annual meeting in Jackson Hole,
Wyoming, will hint at the next steps. Key background:
Trump’s declaration that he wants to purchase Greenland has been widely
met with disbelief in Washington and Copenhagen, with ex-prime minister
Lars Lokke Rasmussen suggesting that the move was an “April Fools’ Day joke.”
Trump confirmed to reporters on Sunday that he had discussed the
“strategically interesting” concept, which he described as “essentially a
large real estate deal.” On Monday, he tweeted a meme of Trump Tower
superimposed onto a Greenland landscape, and said: “I promise not to do
this to Greenland!”
In
a diplomatic response, Kielsen said that Greenland was not for sale but
that “Greenland is open for trade and cooperation with other countries,
including the USA.”
The U.S. has tried to buy the strategically
significant but largely icebound island on at least two other occasions,
and the U.S Air Force continues to operate a large airbase there.
ian dury thought that golf carts were invented by the devil
lemmy was a compulsive whittler
joey ramone collected butterflies
bowie always breathed on his left side when swimming crawl
marc bolan eschewed lego, but love duplo
suggs sold his left bollock to a marshall at the stadium of light
debby harry thinks that stone rubbing is the path to nirvana
billy idol was into baking blueberry tarts
iggy hoarded embroidered cushions
johnny thunders thought that the moon landings werent faked but penicillin was
roky erickson had a large collection of danish royal crockery
jah wobble insists on 3 snow globes per room in his studio
hugh cornwell fluently speaks hmong
alex chilton spelt kangaroo the italian way
peter perrett wont step on pavement cracks
deniz tek thinks he has two left feet
bryan ferry ironically is scared of water
henry rollins counts llamas when he cant sleep
sid vicious' thought his name was spelled viscous
john cale believes he can speak with the ghost of llewelyn the great
lou reed thought he was a mentalist
ray manzarek chants 'jimbo is a twat' if you play his records backwards
kim salmon prefers tuna
angus young is allergic to knitwear
captain sensible is notoriously easily distracted
the easybeats were a pushover
pete townsend refuses point blank to eat cheese with bits in it
grant hart thinks that rice in the salt is really maggots
and
nick cave thinks that people are really quite nice
we have all heard of the famous explorer
you know the one
hell there was even a huuge and pricey drama series about him
he is famous as all fuck
he allegedly crossed the deserts on a handcart of solid fuck
ate camel chips with the k.ubester
and invented china
until as recently as last year
it was accepted fact that he was from venezia
but not friuli venezia giulia
no
that would be too sensible!
but last year and intrepid adventurer
bravely set forth into the great unknown
of a shopping mall in xi an, china
it was whilst in the untamed wilds of that shopping mall
and looking for a cash machine
that he discovered this remarkable fact
not only wasnt he from friuli venezia giulia
but he wasnt even from venezia!
madness!
he was actually from eire
yes that green and broguey island
with guinness and horrible folk music
most probably from whatever the irish equivalent is
of soapy tit wank
...
yes
its not the forest
the lack of trees
and fog make that plain
and theres no hair product to be seen
no basketball boots
stylishly undone
no pancakes to be slapped on
and no kiss me kiss me kiss me wuby wed lips
but for any bewildered teen
standing on the beach
staring at the sand
it made the side b highlights really reel
(and importantly no arabs were harmed in the making of the track)
and it was oooh so mysterious
who was jumping?
whos train were they jumping?
where the flying fook was the train going?
and how much fun
must it have been
if they kept doing it
again and again and again and a...
(its almost enough to make one take another journey...)
hace mil anos
nop
no mil anios
sip
mil anos
son muchos anos esos
es un culo party
lo mismo
hace mil bucos de culos
antes de que llegaron los criminales peninsulares
existia la grande ciudad de tenochitlan
era una civilization super avanzada
sabian de chocolate
de hijtomates
de tobaco
y de comer corazones
(con chips)
pero llegaron los pendejos espanoles
y despues de matar a todos
con sus armas
sus germenes
y
su acero
se quedaron quizas 10 por ciento de la poblacion chida
y no mucho de la civilization antigua
de hecho
en su frenesia de dios y re de mierda
buscaban de borrar todo la historia de este grandisima cultura
pero
almenos unos documentos
los codecs
aun nos llegue
unos que no lograran a quemar
y lo mas bello
es esta mapa de la antigua metro tenochitlana submarina
death to fucking bread and cheese!
after weeks faffpacking around western europe
and trying to eat frugally due to the fucking price of food
and the pathetic state of the oztrayan (mate) shekel
eg two cows, your first born son and half a kidney for an icecream on nice bleach
consisting of copious amounts of cheese and bread
and loads of guilt for being shit at it and being a general spendthrift
we finally arrived in prahahahaha
where we had been promised all was cheap and cheerful
by the lovely plain jane
and it was true!
compared to the horror prices of engerland, denmark, france and germany
the czech czech czech it out was indeed bargains galore!
(praise be to him)
after czeching into the ostello di gioventu
and getting royally fisted by a bureau de change
for the umpteenth time
we headed to a nearby supermarket to find some nosh
and ended up giggling our little heads off at how cheap it all was
austerity was over
the recession we shouldve oughto to have to have had was done
corny copiousouses abounded
unlike our more grown up travel companions
who had lashed out on a better type of stir through pasta sauce
as their indulgence
i sought out the most ridiculous decadent item possible to celebrate the newfound riches
and after a few short minutes of snickering like a smackhead
who had just found a bin liner full of gack behind the shelter sheds
i found my absurd delice
which i would scoff in piggish abandon
tambien si el nombre de este idiota ya es bastante para enojarme
y mucho
por su politica
que fucking cretino
pero el esta querido y demasiado en mexico
yo lei algo sobre este fenomena
tipo
sus historias del intruso
y el romanticismo en sus letras
tienen algo super atractivo por los mexicas
pero
sus fans mexicanos tendrian que no entender demasiado de ingles
porque sus letras hablan tambien de racismo
y el es el racista!
que en un mundo de drumpf
y su actitud de mierda contra los mexicas
los ensarian una cuenta muy distincta!
pues
este grupo
mexrissey
es un supergrupo
sobretodo tiene musicos de cafe tacuba
que para mi (para nada un experto)
es el mejor grupo mexicano de siempre
y sus canciones
sus covers
son bellissimas
interpretan sus canciones con un toque puro mexicano
o sea
fucking chido!
sure
lord admiral portfolio lungobardo snappypants nelson did a good job
he handed old bony parts his cul
and his spanish mates, their culos
which was no mean pear of feet
but
he went down like he was shot
(by a marksman on the redoubtable)
and he died desperately trying to get (an honestly guv)
heterosexual snog from his sea matey hardy ha
(the origin of the muntzers catchphrase no doubt)
as he lay dying at the battle of trafalgar place (brynmill)
in the end
following nelsons obvious dive
and subsequent penalty
england dubiously won 1-0
and bony parts was relegated to the championship
the king inbred and all the toffs of engerland
decided that he had pulled off such a scam
that wouldnt be equalled until ronaldo in the 2000s
that they built a column in his honour
and stuffed it in the middle of the newly named
trafalgar place square
bang in the centre of lahhhndan
but as they were pompous self important twats
with no self control
or sense of perspective
so now there is a great big fuck off column
in a huge wasteland of a square
and its so comically peter crouch
thats its neither awe inspiring
nor imperiously intimidating
it just fucking screams
'column built by pompous self important twats with no self control or sense of perspective'
as they know it
and millions of sad fanboyies and girlies are traumatised
and it was spent
the dragons and tits spectacular
the most loved telly show since
since not jebus didnt not have spokey dokeys
and it ended with a misfiring squib
being rammed right up the nerds rear admirals
and they are fuuurrrriuuusss
starting online petitions
smashing their keyboards with their knuckle draggy hands
AND WAILING IN CAPITALS
because it didnt end how they had imagined
at the start i found it pretty and pretty uninspiring
all that i am lord trevor, 15th son of the baron of arseloch
i challenge you, king rectinol of the 9th sea of ubersplat
over the death of my favourite long haired gazunderblech
etc etc
exposition? boh?
but after all that was EVENTUALLY over
it did float the limeboat
and the 12 year old mentalists did have a point
the ending was a bit underwhelming
all that epicness ending with
ok, lets all fuck off somewhere else now for some chips
but that was far less tragi/comic
than the chorus of entitled wheezing elderly infants...
as part of the universal education scheme
implemented by the C.R.A.P
Compulsory Rotund Asininity Program
you will submit!
for the lesser good
this film was screened at limebeaver longford gaslight of lumiere
and its farrrrking epically long
three and a half hours
its really enjoyable
just has a bit too much of the obvious
the bad guys are soo bad
the good guys are sooo good
and the young lovers will of course face hurdles
or stumps
but you fucking know they will end of forever together
extra paneer anybody?
Back in the good old days - the second half of the 19th century- before political correctness gone mad etc etc stfu
a 'french' (va te faire foutre, he was corsican) geezer called mariani came up with a popular drinkie and modestly named it after himself.
loads of famous people publicly swore by the stuff
including 2 popes, thomas edison, ulysses s grant, the french pm and emile zola all banged on about how super it was.
in the ads, it was claimed it would restore health, strength, energy and vitality. YOU WANT SOME RIGHT NOW ehi?!
FOR THOSE WHO CAME IN LATE
OVER 400 YEARS AGO
WASHED ASHORE ON A REMOTE VICTORIAN BEACH
HE SWORE AN OATH ON THE SKULL OF HIS FATHER
HE WAS THE FIRST PHANTOM
HIS DESCENDANTS CARRIED ON
BUT LISTENERS AND JUNGLE FOLK BELIEVED HIM THE SAME MAN
NEMESIS OF MEDIOCRE RADIO EVERYWHERE
HE WORKS ALONE
THE PHANTOM...
.
"It’s time for us to plant you now, dig you later – you take care and whatever you do, make sure you take it and trust the energy, ’cause the energy says you’ll be deeply missed and forever remembered."
this came across my limited scope again the other day
and
yes
its worth a revisit
hell
its quite literally the 20th annif!
and its still fucking 'ilarious!
it made even the most wannabe cynical types crack a giggle on
and sing along in the most appalling of tone deafness one could witness
(between tea break mugs of gin and unsettling winking brought on by incorrect contact placement)
la juve mi fa schifo
sono ladri e imbroglioni
questo non e' un opinione
e stata beccata tante volte
pagando l'arbitro
drogando i giocatori
ecc ecc
ma sopratuto per l'arroganza
la mentalita di 'siamo speciali'
e' una cosa schifosa
communque
nell'autunno di 2001
facevo un soggiorno sconsigliato
all'inghotto
...
una storia lunga
...
e mi hanno offerto dei biglietti gratis
per una partita del champions!
fuck juve contro bayer leverkeusen
si!
sarrebbe stata una figata!
pero quando ci siamo arrivati allo stadio
non si vedeva un tubocazzo
per colpa della fucking nebbia
la partita e' stata cancellata
e non ho visto niente
uselle!
(e fuck juve)
ma noooooo
vi presento la pizza al durian!
si!
e la pizza con quella frutta buona ma dolce
e con il puzzo cosi orrendo
che nei tanti alberghi in asia
non e' permesso portarlo dentro l'edificio!
imaginate i poverini napoletani
che sono stati in asia e l'hanno visto sul menu
right wing bell end and president of hungary victor orban
not that recently as part of his general being a reactionary fuckwit
went about trying to promote local people couples procreating
you know the deal
protect the master race
make more of us
we are the mostest special after all!
otherwise the 'others' might outnumber us all, big gah!
and in a master stroke of stupidity
his government started putting up giant roadside posters
telling people to back out some more kiddlies
but
as is the way with shitheadded populists
they farked it up
on their family values horseshit posters
they lashed out and bought some generic images online
and of course as they morons
they got images of perhaps the most famous meme peoples of the moment
yes!
the couple whose image has been re-used a billion times over
for language, food, tech and anything else you may have heard of
for memes of a couple
who are walking down the street hand in hand
and hes turned his head
checking out another chick!
en juin 1989 les etudiants chinoises dans beaucoup de villes ont proteste
ils etaient marres du systeme communist du pays
et centaines de milles sont allees dans le rues du pays
le gouvernment
ou meilleur dit le parti communist ont fait tout le possible pour les fermer
si on entend les nier, les intimider et menacer
veut dire tout le possible
alors ils ont essayer de envoyer l'armee dans le centre ville de pekin
mais a ce point aussi les travailleurs sont entres eux memes dans les rues
et ils ont ferme l'armee
avec leurs propres corps
donc le gouverment a choisi une chose infame
et a ordene l'armee d'entrer
a n'import quel cout dans la place ti an en men
et e arrive le denouement
le tanks etc ont massacre milliers de personnes innocents
sans armes
les personnes normelles que ne volaient plus
que la democratie
que avoir le droit de parler librement
et alors le parti communist a maintenu le pouvoir
et jusqua au'jourdhui presque personne en chine connaissent le faits
et aussi dans le reste du monde
on ne dit rien
car la monnaie chinoise est trop importante
felicitationes au eux
la chine est toujours un pays orwellien
the research department of limebeaverbollocks inc
(heavily subsidised by big pottery)
has made a radical discovery
the container which the pandora chica
and with whos tampering
caused 47 flavours of hell to be unleashed
wasnt a fucking box!
nooooo(ah)
was it a bag?
was it a satchel?
was it a demijohn?
was it a perspex case containing an american shyster?
was it even a fucking amphora?
no
no
no
no!
get your whelms out
give them a good undering
it was a jar!
that most basic of objects
bearing the basest form of anglo saxon title
si a caso te estas pensando que tu vida esta complicada
que tu vecino tiene un tv mas grande que tuyo
que la senorita a trabajo que te gusta no te sonrie ayer
que tu equipe de futbol se perdio los tres ultimas partidos
que tus medias tienen un agujero de 4 milimetros
o el peor de todos los peores
vives un bad hair day!
refleja un poquito sobre de los 70 anos que tenia bolivia
entre los 19 siglo y el 20 siglo
era la fine degli anni 80
i cd non erano abbastanza communi per non essere troppo cari
in piu
che cazzo ero,
nostrofuckingdamo del cazzo?
cosi
avevo scoperto la musica che non fa schifo
non sapevo chi cazzo ero
ma sapevo quello che non c'ero
andavo in giro con dei gottici
almeno
quelli che passavano per gotici
nei sobborghi lontani
volevo essere alternativo
ma alternativo a che cosa?
tutti i ragazzi che mi parevano cool
erano grandi fans
le ragazze con troppa truca
i ragazzi con troppa truci
le labbre enormi sul coperchio
mi sembravano molto sensuali
bene
con i pochi soldi che avevo
ho comprato il nuovo disco di 'liqueur'
l'ho portato a casa mia
e l'ho messo sul girodisco di casa
e ho saltato
girato
danzato
e probabilmente
ho mosso i mani come wobbie
e come faceva l'amico
quello che era troppo cool
ma alla fine ho dovuto stare tranquillo
perche il girodisco era sul pavimento
e quando cercavo fare il wobbie
si saltava come una merda!
so its that time of the fuckhead year/season/triennial/quadrennial again
because its OBLIGATORIO
the pig ignorant voters of straya are voting for their national government
NOT their head of state
noooo
not fucking that
to qualify for that you have to come from one family of inbred tossers on the other side of the world
as per usual most of them cant think beyond two utterly corrupt parties
the utter cunt privileged screw the poor and the planet for fun party
and the theoretically 'workers' party
who long ago sold their souls to multinational corporations
of course there are plenty of other choices
the big racist dipshit party always make an odorous dent
then there are the green party who at least mean well
and a plethora of independents and tiny freakoid jobs
such as
the stop being a cunt and just be nice to each other, man party
the grow the fuck up and protect the vulnerable party
the desperately clinging on to any shred of influence religious parties
the big fat self important rich utter turd party
ive got a fucking beard and used to be on telly party
the bogan moron party
and several more nob head parties
and random assorted the moon is on fire and the earth is made of flattened watermelon wankers
but with one uber rich cunt in particular controlling the vast majority of the media
the utter cunt privileged screw the poor and the planet for fun party always have a huge head start
despite their obvious moral and financial corruption
complete lack of coherence
and outstanding achievement in the field of incompetence awards
will run it close
and the only groupings that actually are in it for a good reason
wont get many votes
because ozzzies oi oi ois are too fucking stupid
to use their tiny ickle brains
think beyond appeals to their bigotry and hip pocket
and to quote a bag of chips
'keep the bastards honest'
so much cuntery
so much incompetence
so much corruption
so much ignorance
viva el sistema!
depending on your choice of airline
a stop over in addis ababa is a distinct possibility
quite a few international flights pull in there
being strategically located
near the junction of three 'continents'
and a shit ton of oil/money
addis llansamletbar on the other hand
is not such a common transit point
being on the wrong side of the river tawe
and being set in an 'enterprise zone'
or some such
that ricky gervais would be familiar with
it involved a couple of flights on shit green airlines
including another stop off at the temple of doom international airport
in the late 1890s i couldnt help but stop there
up to perhaps 20 times
and when you arrive there
theres nothing to do but talk about fucking plastic
and wait for the flight back
in my second stint there
i was lucky enough to get private flights
with some rich english geezer who had his own german plane
who went there regularly for business
and let me his spare cupboard
that george had recently vacated
overall rating - corporate tedium blues
positives - the nice ladies in accounts
negatives - how fucking boring is plastic!?!
Bahraini refugee and footballer Hakeem al-Araibi became an Australian citizen following a ceremony in Melbourne on Tuesday.
Al-Araibi was dramatically freed from a Thai prison a month ago when authorities withdrew extradition proceedings against him.
The 25-year-old travelled to Thailand on his honeymoon and was
arrested upon arrival on November 27, detained on an Interpol notice
issued at Bahrain’s request.
Al-Araibi fled his homeland in 2014 before being granted permanent
residence in Australia, where he has since lived and is on the books of
semi-professional club Pascoe Vale
once upon a time there was a girl called white new shoes
she lived on rat-tray alley
doubt it was in a castle tho
she had an admirable dedication to eye makeup
badger tail blush etc
she would have given cleopatra the 14th a good seeing-to
she frequented indie type
gotland type
proper dark midwinter baltic gear
brit pop type clubs
in the early 19th century
you know
a hard core lute enthusiast
rumour had it she was seeing the dj
at one of the clubs
dj Utter Dick Turdpin
tho we never saw any evidence
it could have been hear-say-hear again
a vicious circle
he played good choons
from the bard of brainsworthy grungingtons
to the ballads of likely laddo of the fifth firth
one night she fell down the stairs
and re-arranged her gilet undergarments
oshhhh boshhhh
the onlookers gasped
nobody got the undergarments thoughts on it
i thought she was ravishing
but we drifted apart
not sure what she drifted on
i drifted on a raft made of tempestuous hawthorn...
i saw her once many years later
defending her sows good name with a pitchfork
maybe during the race for africa
she had married into the veldt suburban gentry
and was still white
but forgone her (formerly) new shoes
and wasnt at all interested
in reminiscing about her clubbing daze
and didnt want to hear about her shoes at all!
Donald
Trump's former attorney Michael Cohen calls President Trump a racist,
con man, and cheat during his opening statement before the House
Oversight Committee.
well that wasnt at all blindingly obvious to anybody who wasnt a fucking galactic grade ignoramus
they say you shouldnt speak ill of the dead
they say all kinds of bullshit
they can fuck right off
not that im setting sail in that direction
for fucks sake
who even has a yachchchchhct?
itd be nice to say that you are shocked
are you shocked?
did you say it?
was it nice?
the poor fucker was already on the bus
a long time ago
even at primary age
he was scary as fuck
and had sussed the quickest way to the front of the queueue
3rd ringworm god botherers yet again
everybody trying to find their place
he surely knew where to keep his ticket to eternity
firelighters and those eyes
even as a teen he was sussing the best seatage
bogans at the back!
breaking into oddbins
stebbing at the turf
screaming his hatred at his paternal lineage
whilst been hoisted by his own daddard
perhaps it was the innate sense of oblivion that charmed the girls
nothing to lose
when youve already lost it all
inappropriate teddy bears
and those fucking scary eyes
trying to get into the pigs
but that was never going to happen
when youve already booked your biglietto solo andata
but the military are always desperate
they say no only so many times
then i guess he got his official pass
and perhaps inevitably
old niggle went forth
seemingly several years ago
and he checked himself out
collected his swipe card
made forced small talk with the reception staff
they are PAID to be nice to you
never fucking forget that
but i like to imagine that niggle did the right thing
left the sleaze bags in the room
then walked out into the dazzling sunshine
ho sognato dell'inghilterra
ho sognato del amico mandato a quel paese
ho sognato che ero nel nord
non mi ricordo dov'ero
ma dovevo tornare a londra
perche quasi sempre devo tornarci
quante fucking volte
ci sono arrivato e partito piu che della citta mia
e il piu lungo che ci ho vissuto sarebbe meno di un mese
lo conosco bene
e non lo conosco per niente
e un posto di transito
mi ricordono la prima sosta la
come anglofilo ero molto contento
facendo il sight seeing
cercando qualcosa fredda da bere nei negozi
delle birre fredde nei pub
che novita!
e la seconda volta
in un ostella di merda vicino a paddington
con i ragazzi italiani, spagnoli, portoghese ecc
dove e' comminciata la catena di eventi che mi ha portato a GE
chiacchierando con S
di notte quando lavorava
purtroppo la M se ne gia andata
la pazza austriaca che ha scoppato nel dormitorio pieno
pero mi ha auitato con mein hut der hat drei ecken?
la simpatica C di valencia
che mi piacerebbe da morire trovare di nuovo
la bellissima L
il povero nacho che lavoravo in un ristorante messicano
gli spagnoli e i portoghesi che lavoravono nella 'cucina'
che mi hanno insegnato che si dice mierda e merda
e vogliono dire la stessa cosa!
l'australiano enorme con il piercing nel naso
pareva un toro
le fucking petegolezze
il cuore rotto dalla propria stupidita
le porte d'argento che mi facevano tanto dolore
il lavoro di merda da un tipo da occhialista
che mi pagavo 3 sterline all'ora
che non mi bastavano per vivere
ogni volta che comprassi un sandwich da pret a manger
sapevo che non dovevi
i baci rubati a regents park
e sopratutto i storpi e calvi che spiavo del ufficio
quanti c'erano!
poi l'embankment
che ho sentito mio...
hace 6 fucking anos conoci una chica increible
estuve en nicaragua
sur la isla de ometepe
una isla bellisima con 2 vulcanos en el lago de nicaragua
era un periodo feisima
no estuve bien para nada
y mas
tenia un resfrio de mierda
en las semanas pasadas he tenido un ear infection
que gane con hacer bucear en isla de mais
pues me han robado mi pasaporte
con la embajada mas cercana en panama o mexico
no solamente el pasaporte
me han robado casi todo mi dinero
mi tablet
mis tarjetas
y mas
pues mientras yo esperaba un documento de viajar de mexico
no era posible haber un pasaporte porque estuve en un pais sin embajada
decidi de hacer un viajecito a ometepe
iba a hacer hasta 2 semana por este documento de mierda
pues, chao a los planes de puerto escondido y oaxaca!
entonces...
instead of honey, they have been using urinary tract infections of beavers, pre plucked rats nose hair , and overly worn sweaty hair man sugar infused g strings...
http://www.abc.net.au/news/2018-09-03/capilano-and-supermarkets-accused-of-selling-fake-honey/10187628
early 15c., "sweet, pleasing" (of an odor, a style of
speaking or writing, etc.), from Late Latin mellifluus"flowing
with (or as if with) honey," from Latin mel (genitive mellis)
"honey" (related to Greek meli"honey;" from
PIE root *melit- "honey")
+ -fluus "flowing," from fluere "to
flow" (see fluent). Melifluously; melifluousness.
