burning down stephen cummings

sc shortly before a swingeing singeing 


a long time ago
on an island not so far far away
i burned down stephen cummings

it wasnt entirely intentional
but neither was it completely accidental

he was there
in that car park
with all the nobbies
and we were there too

i certainly didnt rock up to the carpark with a flamethrower
though it might have been prescient

but as we got down
and viddied our surroundings
i thought i recognized him

was it because he was a bit of a smug git?
was it because i knew he would diss my hero in years ahead?
was it because i had just been listening to porno for pyros?

its a mystery for the ages

but i was taken away by a non nihon divine wind
and
before i knew it
the lighter fluid had been liberally applied
and i was dancing around his flamin body
calling to the gods xyslsyslphone
and tlocacpslockoff
calling on them to accept my sacrifice
in their honour
and to provide rains for our crops
fertility for our women
and another nasty slab of amber funtimes...

on his masturbike?

quite possibly my favourite opening sequence to a fillum...

loony jana landia

c'era una volta un paese
che e ormai scomparso
un pease mistico
dove ci abitavano gli orsi con salame
dove c'era la neve abbondante
dove si davano lavori importanti a stronzi brutti e puzzolenti
e uno spazio che si chiamava porko nero

non era lontanissimo da firenze
dove si potevo andare a un teatro e parlare cazzate televisate
e c'era anche una biancaneve fighissima

ma ora non esiste piu
come il tilacino
era troppo ganzo per questo mondo moderno
e questo paese di meraviglie
come si chiamava?
si chiamava lunigiana
dove si incontravano i lunatici

Beavis & Butt Head do.... Weezer

i liked this show better when that other dude owned the restaurant, that dude from karate kid...

we're through the looking glass now folks...

"Villy Søvndal, a former foreign minister, said the decision “confirms that Donald Trump is a narcissistic fool”.




(from forbes.com)

Trump Cancels Denmark Visit In Spat Over Sale Of Greenland

Isabel Togoh Forbes Staff

(utter dildo)
U.S. President Donald Trump speaks to members of the media after meeting with President of Romania Klaus Iohannis in the Oval Office of the White House for the second time.

Alex Wong/Getty Images

Topline: U.S. President Donald Trump has scrapped a state visit to Denmark after Prime Minister Mette Frederiksen shot down his idea that Copenhagen could sell Greenland to the United States.

• Trump tweeted on Tuesday: “Denmark is a very special country with incredible people, but based on Prime Minister Mette Frederiksen’s comments, that she would have no interest in discussing the purchase of Greenland, I will be postponing our meeting scheduled in two weeks for another time........The Prime Minister was able to save a great deal of expense and effort for both the United States and Denmark by being so direct. I thank her for that and look forward to rescheduling sometime in the future!”

• The U.S. President had been due to visit Denmark between September 2 and 3 at the invitation of Denmark’s Queen Margrethe II and was expected to meet Prime Minister Frederiksen.
• Trump’s move was met with shock and confusion in Copenhagen. Former Danish foreign minister Martin Lidegaard said the incident was a “diplomatic farce.” Former prime minister Helle Thorning-Schmidt wrote that the move was “deeply insulting” to the people of Denmark and Greenland.
• Officials in Copenhagen and Nuuk, capital of Greenland, had been firm but direct in their refusal to consider the sale of the semiautonomous territory on the world’s largest island. Frederiksen’s comment that Trump’s largest ever real estate gambit was “absurd” appears to have triggered the anger reaction from the Oval Office.

What to watch for: The Greenland spat has dominated headlines ahead of a tough week for Trump, who will meet G7 leaders in Biarritz, France, later this week. Trump has faced criticism for his calls to readmit Russia to the group after it was booted out in 2014 over its illegal annexation of Crimea.
Meanwhile, despite his claims that the U.S. economy is performing well, Trump is pushing the Federal Reserve to cut interest rates by at least a full percentage point as concerns about the global economy and the impact of his trade war with China mount.
The release of Federal Reserve minutes later today and Fed chairman Jerome Powell’s speech on Friday at the central bank’s annual meeting in Jackson Hole, Wyoming, will hint at the next steps.
Key background: Trump’s declaration that he wants to purchase Greenland has been widely met with disbelief in Washington and Copenhagen, with ex-prime minister Lars Lokke Rasmussen suggesting that the move was an “April Fools’ Day joke.” Trump confirmed to reporters on Sunday that he had discussed the “strategically interesting” concept, which he described as “essentially a large real estate deal.” On Monday, he tweeted a meme of Trump Tower superimposed onto a Greenland landscape, and said: “I promise not to do this to Greenland!”

In a diplomatic response, Kielsen said that Greenland was not for sale but that “Greenland is open for trade and cooperation with other countries, including the USA.”
The U.S. has tried to buy the strategically significant but largely icebound island on at least two other occasions, and the U.S Air Force continues to operate a large airbase there.

david byrne likes go karting

                                                    these slipstream people...


ian dury thought that golf carts were invented by the devil
lemmy was a compulsive whittler
joey ramone collected butterflies
bowie always breathed on his left side when swimming crawl
marc bolan eschewed lego, but love duplo
suggs sold his left bollock to a marshall at the stadium of light
debby harry thinks that stone rubbing is the path to nirvana
billy idol was into baking blueberry tarts
iggy hoarded embroidered cushions
johnny thunders thought that the moon landings werent faked but penicillin was
roky erickson had a large collection of danish royal crockery
jah wobble insists on 3 snow globes per room in his studio
hugh cornwell fluently speaks hmong
alex chilton spelt kangaroo the italian way
peter perrett wont step on pavement cracks
deniz tek thinks he has two left feet
bryan ferry ironically is scared of water
henry rollins counts llamas when he cant sleep
sid vicious' thought his name was spelled viscous
john cale believes he can speak with the ghost of llewelyn the great
lou reed thought he was a mentalist
ray manzarek chants 'jimbo is a twat' if you play his records backwards
kim salmon prefers tuna
angus young is allergic to knitwear
captain sensible is notoriously easily distracted
the easybeats were a pushover
pete townsend refuses point blank to eat cheese with bits in it
grant hart thinks that rice in the salt is really maggots
and
nick cave thinks that people are really quite nice

xi an be serious!

we have all heard of the famous explorer
you know the one
hell there was even a huuge and pricey drama series about him
he is famous as all fuck
he allegedly crossed the deserts on a handcart of solid fuck
ate camel chips with the k.ubester
and invented china

until as recently as last year
it was accepted fact that he was from venezia
but not friuli venezia giulia
no
that would be too sensible!

but last year and intrepid adventurer
bravely set forth into the great unknown
of a shopping mall in xi an, china

it was whilst in the untamed wilds of that shopping mall
and looking for a cash machine
that he discovered this remarkable fact

not only wasnt he from friuli venezia giulia
but he wasnt even from venezia!
madness!

he was actually from eire
yes that green and broguey island
with guinness and horrible folk music

most probably from whatever the irish equivalent is
of soapy tit wank
...

Ürge László a legenda!

what nationality was les murray?

wherefore hails his ancestry?



non importa un cazzo

era un stra leganda!



well, can you blame him?

stopping no stations to trippylandia

yes
its not the forest
the lack of trees
and fog make that plain
and theres no hair product to be seen
no basketball boots
stylishly undone
no pancakes to be slapped on
and no kiss me kiss me kiss me wuby wed lips


but for any bewildered teen
standing on the beach
staring at the sand
it made the side b highlights really reel
(and importantly no arabs were harmed in the making of the track)

and it was oooh so mysterious
who was jumping?
whos train were they jumping?
where the flying fook was the train going?
and how much fun
must it have been
if they kept doing it
again and again and again and a...

(its almost enough to make one take another journey...)

def marmelada pinche tube map

hace mil anos
nop
no mil anios
sip
mil anos
son muchos anos esos
es un culo party

lo mismo
hace mil bucos de culos
antes de que llegaron los criminales peninsulares
existia la grande ciudad de tenochitlan
era una civilization super avanzada
sabian de chocolate
de hijtomates
de tobaco
y de comer corazones
(con chips)
pero llegaron los pendejos espanoles
y despues de matar a todos
con sus armas
sus germenes
y
su acero
se quedaron quizas 10 por ciento de la poblacion chida
y no mucho de la civilization antigua
de hecho
en su frenesia de dios y re de mierda
buscaban de borrar todo la historia de este grandisima cultura

pero
almenos unos documentos
los codecs
aun nos llegue
unos que no lograran a quemar

y lo mas bello
es esta mapa de la antigua metro tenochitlana submarina

Beavis and Butthead do no.2 Morrissey- he's trying to hump a rock

get up off the ground and stop whining you wuss...

nechte je jíst zmrzlinu!

death to fucking bread and cheese!
after weeks faffpacking around western europe
and trying to eat frugally due to the fucking price of food
and the pathetic state of the oztrayan (mate) shekel
eg two cows, your first born son and half a kidney for an icecream on nice bleach
consisting of copious amounts of cheese and bread
and loads of guilt for being shit at it and being a general spendthrift
we finally arrived in prahahahaha
where we had been promised all was cheap and cheerful
by the lovely plain jane

and it was true!
compared to the horror prices of engerland, denmark, france and germany
the czech czech czech it out was indeed bargains galore!
(praise be to him)
after czeching into the ostello di gioventu
and getting royally fisted by a bureau de change
for the umpteenth time
we headed to a nearby supermarket to find some nosh
and ended up giggling our little heads off at how cheap it all was
austerity was over
the recession we shouldve oughto to have to have had was done
corny copiousouses abounded

unlike our more grown up  travel companions
who had lashed out on a better type of stir through pasta sauce
as their indulgence
i sought out the most ridiculous decadent item possible to celebrate the newfound riches

and after a few short minutes of snickering like a smackhead
who had just found a bin liner full of gack behind the shelter sheds
i found my absurd delice
which i would scoff in piggish abandon

A FUCKING ICE CREAM CAKE!

Beavis and Butthead do no.1 - Kylie Minogue

this chick has more teeth than most people...

kuxtal le maya kaajo'!

aun viven los idiomas mayas
ya ves malparido pendejo cortez?

pobbbreee gueeeeey...

tambien si el nombre de este idiota ya es bastante para enojarme
y mucho
por su politica
que fucking cretino
pero el esta querido y demasiado en mexico
yo lei algo sobre este fenomena
tipo
sus historias del intruso
y el romanticismo en sus letras
tienen algo super atractivo por los mexicas

pero
sus fans mexicanos tendrian que no entender demasiado de ingles
porque sus letras hablan tambien de racismo
y el es el racista!
que en un mundo de drumpf
y su actitud de mierda contra los mexicas
los ensarian una cuenta muy distincta!

pues
este grupo
mexrissey
es un supergrupo
sobretodo tiene musicos de cafe tacuba
que para mi (para nada un experto)
es el mejor grupo mexicano de siempre
y sus canciones
sus covers
son bellissimas
interpretan sus canciones con un toque puro mexicano
o sea
fucking chido!

and he never smelled us later

sure
lord admiral portfolio lungobardo snappypants nelson did a good job
he handed old bony parts his cul
and his spanish mates, their culos
which was no mean pear of feet
but
he went down like he was shot
(by a marksman on the redoubtable)
and he died desperately trying to get (an honestly guv)
heterosexual snog from his sea matey hardy ha
(the origin of the muntzers catchphrase no doubt)
as he lay dying at the battle of trafalgar place (brynmill)

in the end
following nelsons obvious dive
and subsequent penalty
england dubiously won 1-0
and bony parts was relegated to the championship

the king inbred and all the toffs of engerland
decided that he had pulled off such a scam
that wouldnt be equalled until ronaldo in the 2000s
that they built a column in his honour
and stuffed it in the middle of the newly named
trafalgar place square
bang in the centre of lahhhndan

but as they were pompous self important twats
with no self control
or sense of perspective
so now there is a great big fuck off column
in a huge wasteland of a square
and its so comically peter crouch
thats its neither awe inspiring
nor imperiously intimidating
it just fucking screams
'column built by pompous self important twats with no self control or sense of perspective'

its the end of that world...

as they know it
and millions of sad fanboyies and girlies are traumatised

and it was spent
the dragons and tits spectacular
the most loved telly show since
since not jebus didnt not have spokey dokeys

and it ended with a misfiring squib
being rammed right up the nerds rear admirals
and they are fuuurrrriuuusss
starting online petitions
smashing their keyboards with their knuckle draggy hands
AND WAILING IN CAPITALS
because it didnt end how they had imagined


at the start i found it pretty and  pretty uninspiring
all that i am lord trevor, 15th son of the baron of arseloch
i challenge you, king rectinol of the 9th sea of ubersplat
over the death of my favourite long haired gazunderblech
etc etc
exposition? boh?
but after all that  was EVENTUALLY over
it did float the limeboat

and the 12 year old mentalists did have a point
the ending was a bit underwhelming
all that epicness ending with
ok, lets all fuck off somewhere else now for some chips


but that was far less tragi/comic
than the chorus of entitled wheezing elderly infants...

shouting lagaan lagaan lagaan....

as part of the universal education scheme
implemented by the C.R.A.P
Compulsory Rotund Asininity Program
you will submit!
for the lesser good
this film was screened at limebeaver longford  gaslight of  lumiere
and its farrrrking epically long
three and a half hours
its really enjoyable
just has a bit too much of the obvious
the bad guys are soo bad
the good guys are sooo good
and the young lovers will of course face hurdles
or stumps
but you fucking know they will end of forever together
extra paneer anybody?

you aint seen me right?

a localised shower of two particular toff cunts

drugs are bad mkaay?

 

Back in the good old days - the second half of the 19th century- before political correctness gone mad etc etc stfu
a 'french' (va te faire foutre, he was corsican) geezer called mariani came up with a popular drinkie and modestly named it after himself.
loads of famous people publicly swore by the stuff
including 2 popes, thomas edison, ulysses s grant, the french pm and emile zola all banged on about how super it was.
in the ads, it was claimed it would restore health, strength, energy and vitality.
YOU WANT SOME RIGHT NOW ehi?!

what made it so downright brillo?
it was 'à la Coca du Pérou'
thats right
it was bang full of cocaine
so shove your copycat early coca cola up your gringo arse
this was alcoholic AND  it was chockers with charlie!

no wonder it made everybody feel so amazeballs...

The Ghost - Vale and thanks for the incomparable education

FOR THOSE WHO CAME IN LATE
OVER 400 YEARS AGO
WASHED ASHORE ON A REMOTE VICTORIAN BEACH
HE SWORE AN OATH ON THE SKULL OF HIS FATHER
HE WAS THE FIRST PHANTOM
HIS DESCENDANTS CARRIED ON
BUT LISTENERS AND JUNGLE FOLK  BELIEVED HIM THE SAME MAN
NEMESIS OF MEDIOCRE RADIO EVERYWHERE
HE WORKS ALONE
THE PHANTOM...




.

"It’s time for us to plant you now, dig you later – you take care and whatever you do, make sure you take it and trust the energy, ’cause the energy says you’ll be deeply missed and forever remembered."

mier... coles!

"you wot!?!"

you dont eat or sleep or mow the lawn...

this came across my limited scope again the other day
and
yes
its worth a revisit
hell
its quite literally the 20th annif!
and its still fucking 'ilarious!
it made even the most wannabe cynical types crack a giggle on
and sing along in the most appalling of tone deafness one could witness
(between tea break mugs of gin and unsettling winking brought on by incorrect contact placement)

now in techniculo!

fuck juve e la sua nebbia

la juve mi fa schifo
sono ladri e imbroglioni
questo non e' un opinione
e stata beccata tante volte
pagando l'arbitro
drogando i giocatori
ecc ecc
ma sopratuto per l'arroganza
la mentalita di 'siamo speciali'
e' una cosa schifosa

communque
nell'autunno di 2001
facevo un soggiorno sconsigliato
all'inghotto
...
una storia lunga
...

e mi hanno offerto dei biglietti gratis
per una partita del champions!
fuck juve contro bayer leverkeusen
si!
sarrebbe stata una figata!

pero quando ci siamo arrivati allo stadio
non si vedeva un tubocazzo
per colpa della fucking nebbia

la partita e' stata cancellata
e non ho visto niente
uselle!
(e fuck juve)

nonce sense

whats your favourite bang?

interro?

or 

finger?

space needle

Where Oblivion is beckoning
Where Leviathan is reckoning ...

love no more

so g love left teenage fanclub

i hope he didnt take his special source with him

at least it wasnt for 'artistic differences'

i fucking hate that one

e pensavate che la pizza all'ananas e' fosse una cosa tremenda..

ma noooooo
vi presento la pizza al durian!
si!
e la pizza con quella frutta buona ma dolce
e con il puzzo cosi orrendo
che nei tanti alberghi in asia
non e' permesso portarlo dentro l'edificio!

imaginate i poverini napoletani
che sono stati in asia e l'hanno visto sul menu

porca fetosa!

mi culo herboso

thanks!
good name for a band that

magyar making ya crazy

right wing bell end and president of hungary victor orban
not that recently as part of his general being a reactionary fuckwit
went about trying to promote local people couples procreating
you know the deal
protect the master race
make more of us
we are the mostest special after all!
otherwise the 'others' might outnumber us all, big gah!
and in a master stroke of stupidity
his government started putting up giant roadside posters
telling people to back out some more kiddlies

but
as is the way with shitheadded populists
they farked it up
on their family values horseshit posters
they lashed out and bought some generic images online
and of course as they morons
they got images of perhaps the most famous meme peoples of the moment
yes!
the couple whose image has been re-used a billion times over
for language, food, tech and anything else you may have heard of
for memes of a couple
who are walking down the street hand in hand
and hes turned his head
checking out another chick!

georgie orwell sends us all hugs... 

England football fans Vs not being a fuckhead

and i think we all knew who the winner would be...

youre nicked toe rag

“The complexities of cause and effect defy analysis.”
― Douglas Adams

                                                                            

il y a trente ans

en juin 1989 les etudiants chinoises dans beaucoup de villes ont proteste
ils etaient marres du systeme communist du pays
et centaines de milles sont allees dans le rues du pays
le gouvernment
ou meilleur dit le parti communist ont fait tout le possible pour les fermer
si on entend  les nier, les intimider et menacer
veut dire tout le possible
alors ils ont essayer de envoyer l'armee dans le centre ville de pekin
mais a ce point aussi les travailleurs sont entres eux memes dans les rues
et ils ont ferme l'armee
avec leurs propres corps
donc le gouverment a choisi une chose infame
et a ordene l'armee d'entrer
a n'import quel cout dans la place ti an en men
et e arrive le denouement
le tanks etc ont massacre milliers de personnes innocents
sans armes
les personnes normelles que ne volaient plus
que la democratie
que avoir le droit de parler librement

et alors le parti communist a maintenu le pouvoir
et jusqua au'jourdhui presque personne en chine connaissent le faits
et aussi dans le reste du monde
on ne dit rien
car la monnaie chinoise est trop importante
felicitationes au eux
la chine est toujours un pays orwellien

bof!

pandora's wot?

the research department of limebeaverbollocks inc
(heavily subsidised by big pottery)
has made a radical discovery
the container which the pandora chica
and with whos tampering
caused 47 flavours of hell to be unleashed
wasnt a fucking box!
nooooo(ah)
was it a bag?
was it a satchel?
was it a demijohn?
was it a perspex case containing an american shyster?
was it even a fucking amphora?

no
no
no
no!

get your whelms out
give them a good undering
 
it was a jar!
that most basic of objects
bearing the basest form of anglo saxon title

a fucking jar!

put that in your kiln and smoke it!

a la verga con tu bad hair day

si a caso te estas pensando que tu vida esta complicada
que tu vecino tiene un tv mas grande que tuyo
que la senorita a trabajo que te gusta no te sonrie ayer
que tu equipe de futbol se perdio los tres ultimas partidos
que tus medias tienen un agujero de 4 milimetros
o el peor de todos los peores
vives un bad hair day!

refleja un poquito sobre de los 70 anos que tenia bolivia
entre los 19 siglo y el 20 siglo

maldita drama queen!

ma wobbie faceva il sorriso verticale?

era la fine degli anni 80
i cd non erano abbastanza communi per non essere troppo cari
in piu
che cazzo ero,
nostrofuckingdamo del cazzo?
cosi
avevo scoperto la musica che non fa schifo
non sapevo chi cazzo ero
ma sapevo quello che non c'ero
andavo in giro con dei gottici
almeno
quelli che passavano per gotici
nei sobborghi lontani
volevo essere alternativo
ma alternativo a che cosa?

tutti i ragazzi che mi parevano cool
erano grandi fans
le ragazze con troppa truca
i ragazzi con troppa truci

le labbre enormi sul coperchio
mi sembravano molto sensuali
bene
con i pochi soldi che avevo
ho comprato il nuovo disco di 'liqueur'
l'ho portato a casa mia
e l'ho messo sul girodisco di casa
e ho saltato
girato
danzato
e probabilmente
ho mosso i mani come wobbie
e come faceva l'amico
quello che era troppo cool

ma alla fine ho dovuto stare tranquillo
perche il girodisco era sul pavimento
e quando cercavo fare il wobbie
si saltava come una merda!

i got the machine to the machine

we took the machine into town

but the machine stopped working so we had to get the machine

then

even when we got there

the machine showing the machine in the window was playing up

we were wondering about doing some machine shopping

but without the machine

that proved impossible

dont get me wrong

i dont need the latest machine to choose a new machine

but without any machine

it was tough

anyway

after the machine debacle

we had no choice but to go the machine without a machine

in this day and machine age

showing up without a machine!

but we soldiered on without a machine

we tried to compensate for our lack of machine

but it was pretty obvious that we lacked our machine

we joked about our machine

but without our machine

we couldnt really explain our lack of machine

let alone about the tardiness of our machine!



what i really fear

is the day

they turn off the great machine...

turns out thats wildly fucking optimistic

Drunk on election night

so its that time of the fuckhead year/season/triennial/quadrennial again
because its OBLIGATORIO
the pig ignorant voters of straya are voting for their national government
NOT their head of state
noooo
not fucking that
to qualify for that you have to come from one family of inbred tossers on the other side of the world

as per usual most of them cant think beyond two utterly corrupt parties
the utter cunt privileged screw the poor and the planet for fun party
and the theoretically 'workers' party
who long ago sold their souls to multinational corporations
of course there are plenty of other choices
the big racist dipshit party always make an odorous dent
then there are the green party who at least mean well
and a plethora of independents and tiny freakoid jobs
such as
the stop being a cunt and just be nice to each other, man party
the grow the fuck up and protect the vulnerable party
the desperately clinging on to any shred of influence religious parties
the big fat self important rich utter turd party
ive got a fucking beard and used to be on telly party
the bogan moron party
and several more nob head parties
and random assorted the moon is on fire and the earth is made of flattened watermelon wankers

but with one uber rich cunt in particular controlling the vast majority of the media
the utter cunt privileged screw the poor and the planet for fun party always have a huge head start
despite their obvious moral and financial corruption
complete lack of coherence
and outstanding achievement in the field of incompetence awards
will run it close
and the only groupings that actually are in it for a good reason
wont get many votes
because ozzzies oi oi ois are too fucking stupid
to use their tiny ickle brains
think beyond appeals to their bigotry and hip pocket
and to quote a bag of chips
'keep the bastards honest'



so much cuntery
so much incompetence
so much corruption
so much ignorance
viva el sistema!

addis llansamletbar - worst aiport... ever

depending on your choice of airline
a stop over in addis ababa is a distinct possibility
quite a few international flights pull in there
being strategically located
near the junction of three 'continents'
and a shit ton of oil/money

addis llansamletbar on the other hand
is not such a common transit point
being on the wrong side of the river tawe
and being set in an 'enterprise zone'
or some such
that ricky gervais would be familiar with
it involved a couple of flights on shit green airlines
including another stop off at the temple of doom international airport
in the late 1890s i couldnt help but stop there
up to perhaps 20 times
and when you arrive there
theres nothing to do but talk about fucking plastic
and wait for the flight back

in my second stint there
i was lucky enough to get private flights
with some rich english geezer who had his own german plane
who went there regularly for business
and let me his spare cupboard
that george had recently vacated

overall rating - corporate tedium blues
positives - the nice ladies in accounts
negatives -  how fucking boring is plastic!?!

we're dooooomed

there once was a game called doom

you could play at killing in your very own room

(not mine)

in the dark age of the computer

you could be a big shooter

as you stumbled about in the gloom



by the standards of today

you might as well be gathering the hay

but between this and wolfenstein

when you're too young for wine

if you could master three or more keys

(i couldnt)

you could lose many a day

un hippy cointreau ou grand marnier?

which was nice...

Bahraini refugee and footballer Hakeem al-Araibi became an Australian citizen following a ceremony in Melbourne on Tuesday.
Al-Araibi was dramatically freed from a Thai prison a month ago when authorities withdrew extradition proceedings against him.
The 25-year-old travelled to Thailand on his honeymoon and was arrested upon arrival on November 27, detained on an Interpol notice issued at Bahrain’s request.
Al-Araibi fled his homeland in 2014 before being granted permanent residence in Australia, where he has since lived and is on the books of semi-professional club Pascoe Vale

white new shoes

once upon a time there was a girl called white new shoes
she lived on rat-tray alley
doubt it was in a castle tho
she had an admirable dedication to eye makeup
badger tail blush etc
she would have given cleopatra the 14th a good seeing-to
she frequented indie type
gotland type 
proper dark midwinter baltic gear
brit pop type clubs
in the early 19th century
you know
a hard core lute enthusiast
rumour had it she was seeing the dj
at one of the clubs
dj Utter Dick Turdpin
tho we never saw any evidence
it could have been hear-say-hear again
a vicious circle
he played good choons
from the bard of brainsworthy grungingtons
to the ballads of likely laddo of the fifth firth
one night she fell down the stairs
and re-arranged her gilet undergarments
oshhhh boshhhh
the onlookers gasped
nobody got the undergarments thoughts on it
i thought she was ravishing
but we drifted apart
not sure what she drifted on
i drifted on a raft made of tempestuous hawthorn...


i saw her once many years later
defending her sows good name with a pitchfork
maybe during the race for africa
she had married into the veldt suburban gentry
and was still white
but forgone her (formerly) new shoes
and wasnt at all interested
in reminiscing about her clubbing daze
and didnt want to hear about her shoes at all!

vale pete, he was a bit like an aeroplane...

so thats what he was on about...

silence? no, tedium

liam 'not that racist any more' neeson contemplates what the fuck he is doing in this shower of shite

 so i finally got around to watching silence

chiefly because some cool dutch bloke in xi'an was so effusive about it

holy fuck it was tedious

dont get me wrong

i love a good slow movie

i recently enjoyed once upon a time in anatolia

super!

and yi yi

genius!

massive explosions and laser beams are not obligatory for a good fillum

though they sure are big fun

but a film about fucking idiotic religious fundamentalists 

going to a foreign land

to brainwash none the wiser suckers

that their particular fairy tale was better than the one they already had

is bound to be a bit shit

unless somebody applied a bit of critical thinking

and hinted at just how fucking ignorant they were

sure

be faithful to the epoch

but how about a bit of enlightenment 

about the existing culture

about their equally valid and millenia old beliefs

(although not as old as nihon nationalists might have you believe)

mr scor fucking chazay has a fine track record

hell

he even beat ben johnson over the 1255 metres

at the twaddle games back in the graties

so one waits

and tom waits

for some punch

some oomph

but no

just the dreary

dragging on

of brainwashed bellends

on their desperate search

to save the fucking saouls

of the nihon jin

who already had it pretty much sorted

with super swords

and quality hair cuts

crazy wooden shoes

and ramen ffs!

its not big

its not clever

its just long

its just boring

(if pretty)

and to cap it all off

the portuguese speak english

as do the nihon jin 

when they are are unfortunate enough 

to spend kwality time with them

the poor local converts are tortured 

and suffer protracted

and excruciating ends

but they got off light

lying there in their own worlds tonight

compared to the 21st century viewing audience

evident racist con man cheat is a racist con man cheat

Cohen: Trump is a racist, con man, cheat

Donald Trump's former attorney Michael Cohen calls President Trump a racist, con man, and cheat during his opening statement before the House Oversight Committee.

 

 

well that wasnt at all blindingly obvious to anybody who wasnt a fucking galactic grade ignoramus

c'est quoi la capitale de la bretagne?

ouais! c'est reindeers!

the beaker people...

...is the name of a cultural phenomenon which occurred in large parts of Western Europe, roughly between 2800 BC and 2200 BC

niggle free zone

they say you shouldnt speak ill of the dead
they say all kinds of bullshit
they can fuck right off
not that im setting sail in that direction
for fucks sake
who even has a yachchchchhct?
itd be nice to say that you are shocked
are you shocked?
did you say it?
was it nice?
the poor fucker was already on the bus
a long time ago
even at primary age
he was scary as fuck
and had sussed the quickest way to the front of the queueue
3rd ringworm god botherers yet again
everybody trying to find their place
he surely knew where to keep his ticket to eternity
firelighters and those eyes
even as a teen he was sussing the best seatage
bogans at the back!
breaking into oddbins
stebbing at the turf
screaming his hatred at his paternal lineage
whilst been hoisted by his own daddard
perhaps it was the innate sense of oblivion that charmed the girls
nothing to lose
when youve already lost it all
inappropriate teddy bears
and those fucking scary eyes
trying to get into the pigs
but that was never going to happen
when youve already booked your biglietto solo andata
but the military are always desperate
they say no only so many times
then i guess he got his official pass
and perhaps inevitably
old niggle went forth
seemingly several years ago
and he checked himself out
collected his swipe card
made forced small talk with the reception staff
they are PAID to be nice to you
never fucking forget that
but i like to imagine that niggle did the right thing
left the sleaze bags in the room
then walked out into the dazzling sunshine

sorry about the bums against the wall...

Wendy's Wendy's Yum!

immagini di londra

ho sognato dell'inghilterra
ho sognato del amico mandato a quel paese
ho sognato che ero nel nord
non mi ricordo dov'ero
ma dovevo tornare a londra
perche quasi sempre devo tornarci
quante fucking volte
ci sono arrivato e partito piu che della citta mia
e il piu lungo che ci ho vissuto sarebbe meno di un mese
lo conosco bene
e non lo conosco per niente
e un posto di transito
mi ricordono la prima sosta la
come anglofilo ero molto contento
facendo il sight seeing
cercando qualcosa fredda da bere nei negozi
delle birre fredde nei pub
che novita!
e la seconda volta
in un ostella di merda vicino a paddington
con i ragazzi italiani, spagnoli, portoghese ecc
dove e' comminciata la catena di eventi che mi ha portato a GE
chiacchierando con S
di notte quando lavorava
purtroppo la M se ne gia andata
la pazza austriaca che ha scoppato nel dormitorio pieno
pero mi ha auitato con mein hut der hat drei ecken?
la simpatica C di valencia
che mi piacerebbe da morire trovare di nuovo
la bellissima L
il povero nacho che lavoravo in un ristorante messicano
gli spagnoli e i portoghesi che lavoravono nella 'cucina'
che mi hanno insegnato che si dice mierda e merda
e vogliono dire la stessa cosa!
l'australiano enorme con il piercing nel naso
pareva un toro
le fucking petegolezze
il cuore rotto dalla propria stupidita
le porte d'argento che mi facevano tanto dolore
il lavoro di merda da un tipo da occhialista
che mi pagavo 3 sterline all'ora
che non mi bastavano per vivere
ogni volta che comprassi un sandwich da pret a manger
sapevo che non dovevi
i baci rubati a regents park
e sopratutto i storpi e calvi che spiavo del ufficio
quanti c'erano!
poi l'embankment
che ho sentito mio...

mould tang slime

should ne'er have forgotten the pot

and ne'er gone the ron

the whiff of drinking to get pished

and obliterate what has gone

is your mug now festering so bold

that grimmest vassal of slime

that thous flatmates cannot but object

to that mould tang slime

that mould tang slime my foe

that mould tang slime

that thous flatmates cannot but object

to that mould tang slime 

its snowing in coober pedy

happy saturnalia mother fuckers

speaking of honey

hace 6 fucking anos conoci una chica increible
estuve en nicaragua
sur la isla de ometepe
una isla bellisima con 2 vulcanos en el lago de nicaragua
era un periodo feisima
no estuve bien para nada
y mas
tenia un resfrio de mierda
en las semanas pasadas he tenido un ear infection
que gane con hacer bucear en isla de mais
pues me han robado mi pasaporte
con la embajada mas cercana en panama o mexico
no solamente el pasaporte
me han robado casi todo mi dinero
mi tablet
mis tarjetas
y mas
pues mientras yo esperaba un documento de viajar de mexico
no era posible haber un pasaporte porque estuve en un pais sin embajada
decidi de hacer un viajecito a ometepe
iba a hacer hasta 2 semana por este documento de mierda
pues, chao a los planes de puerto escondido y oaxaca!
entonces...

we better get going if were gonna stay ahead of the fake honey

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2018-09-03/capilano-and-supermarkets-accused-of-selling-fake-honey/10187628bene, it turns out that in australia companies have been flogging miele that is faker than a dodgy chinese knock-off dishwasher!

instead of honey, they have been using urinary tract infections of beavers, pre plucked rats nose hair , and overly worn sweaty hair man sugar infused g strings...
 http://www.abc.net.au/news/2018-09-03/capilano-and-supermarkets-accused-of-selling-fake-honey/10187628

everything flows

yes this blog lives, fucking barely

cmq, how biutiful is this word and its etymology?

just like honey....

mellifluous (adj.)

early 15c., "sweet, pleasing" (of an odor, a style of
speaking or writing, etc.), from Late Latin mellifluus"flowing
with (or as if with) honey," from Latin mel (genitive mellis)
"honey" (related to Greek meli"honey;" from
PIE root *melit- "honey")
+ -fluus "flowing," from fluere "to
flow" (see fluent). Melifluously; melifluousness.

cow fart-brain fart

questa e' un'immagine di un grande testa di cazzo

si chiama antonio cassano

era un calciatore di tanto talento

ma con un cervello da insetto

mi spiace ai tutti i mei lettori insetti

si direbbe un gabbibo

o un deadshit bogan in australia

allora questa foto e da quando lui si e' firmato per giocare con hellas verona nella serie a

e' la maglia con lo sponsor e' perfetto

il fucking metano nord

cioe' quello che scoreggiano le fucking mucche

e come lui e' un fucking scoreggio dal sud

molto fucking terrone

e' perfetto per lui quando arriva nel nord

ps. apparentemente lui si e' scappato dal club prima di giocare

forse perche cercava un club con uno sponsor piu esatto per lui

come Fucking Feci Deficenti

this a low

wella wella wella
tell you less tell you less
a spiffing most likely total of 9 posts for 2017
didnt even reach double figas
didnt actually reach any figas
tanto per cambiare

its the lowest ever in the dubious underachieving history of this buttlog
ta-rah!

nobody's getting married, were talking about mary II

yeah its been a while... quite a fucking while
it seems the internet and society in general hasnt fallen apart without these missives of runny horseshit
or has it, you trump loving, brexit voting, imaginary sky-man crusading nob cheeses?
will limebeaver inc save the world from its own mind boggling stupidity 2018?
not fucking likely

whats the story?

cabeza de verga...

que equivocado, esa mierda habladora
hay una tercera posibilidad- patria socialista Y muerte...
es lo que hay ahora
y nop, perderan
pero solo despues de que se aseguran que todo el pais pierda con ellos

que fucking verguenza

les combien de quoi?

ecoutez, j'adore les livres de dumas, peut-etre il est mon ecrivain francais favori...
et le livre (et aussie la serie) les trois mousquetaires et vraiment genial..
mais il y a un gros probleme
regardez l'image... on voit tres hommes? on voit des mousquets?
pas du tout!
il devrait etre intutile les quatre epeistes! (putain)

stupid white (and brown) men

the womens healthcare summit in trumplandia



the 'girls council' in saudi arabia


notice anything odd?
anything missing?
fucking cunts

las elecciones ecuadorianas

quien va a ganar? un pedazo de cuerda o un viejo russo muerto desde hace mas de 90 anos?


ES






CONTRA







y el ganador es...
el russo muerto!!!
woooooooooo!