Simone de Beavoirvis

There she sat under her favourite tree
dainty white frock and wide brimmed hat
Pale as-can-be complexion
pretty nose curled in concentration
it wasn't a very good tree
one of those crappy falling-down ones
it didn't provide much shade actually
and the ants kept biting her on the arse
it was here she came to think, write, sketch and scaccolarsi
as it was a tuesday it was sketching day
but she didn't really give a toss any more
not since she saw Daddy nobbing the butler in the linen press
every time she picked up a pencil
that same horrid image came back to her
being a nice girl she didn't wish to draw things like that
bumble bees and babbling brooks had more b's in them
the other girls in town had started calling her Dad names
she didn't know what they meant,
but she knew they weren't good
He didn't even like fudge!
He didn't know anybody called Ben from Dover!
They all knew his name was Bruce
so why did they call him Roger?
off the in the distance a grouse cooed to it's partner
their days of sweet loving were numbered, she thought
not to mention the bulk-aces...
their highly prized plumage made them endangered around these parts
In a few weeks Iain, Bob and the rest of the gents from the CAD's Club would be here
barking orders at their dogs
and shoot and re-load
and shoot and re-load
until there was a bloody mess underfoot
and panting doggies seeking out the shade,
the wives would sit gossiping and tittering at the table
under their umbrellas
corsets holding everything in place
sipping on their gin and tonics
oh how she longed to be grown-up and join in
she knew how they teased Beatrice about Harold from the Pony Club
imagine how they would taunt me if they knew about Leon and I!
it didn't bear thinking about...
he was so dashing
if only he would stop frequenting that git
ahhh Leon, there was a muse!
OUCH!
bastard little ants, she thought
bringing her back from her daydreams
one of these days i will bake them in a pie!
now, back straight
pencil poised
mind's eye focussed
no, no, no...
this simply won't do at all.
a thought furrowed her adorable brow...
maybe that's why they say 'the butler did it'
but he didn't actually seem to be doing that much

gold = duck

in a land far far away
there is a fabled place called gold = duck
not maggot = baby fly
you wont find it doodling about the high street in Winchester
you wont find it power walking around the Darwin central
you wont find it gawking like a fool in Bologna
you wont find it dragging yourself by your lips in Santiago del Chile
you wont find it blah blah blah
look a little closer next time you exit the house in a hurry
don't dash down the stairs without stopping to look up
take 30 seconds once you open the car door to look to the left
instead of holding your toast with your spare hand, hold your gaze straight ahead
breathe, count your blessings... won't take too long
close your eyes
block out the noise
turn off the chatter
smell the gold
inhale the duck
what's it all about?
on the insides of your eyelids you will make out the faint outline of a duck
the slightest of golden tinges will demand your attention
you may brush it aside
like so many before you
but within a week your dreams will be punctuated by inexplicable images
a man, standing alone on a windswept beach
a goat, chewing on a saucepan
a chisel, chatting lightly with your great grandmother you never knew
an overwhelming sense of discomfort
the sense of travelling at great speed towards a dot on the floor
of someone elses kitchen
a chanting that makes sense
but not to you...
and the moment before your untimely demise....
GOLD WILL EQUAL DUCK

I'm interesed in ..... apoplexy?

I've lost interest...

How the world works c/o Connex trains

So it looks like this
a train carriage full of clowns
dressed up in mostly matching get ups
looking glum, pensive, grumpy or just plain over it
the 3 respectable gents in their 40's
half awake, not much left to say after the day's events
the freshly busted out of teens couple
with cute little baby in matching clown suit
Mummy clown fawning over baby clown
Daddy clown fawning over mummy clown
and Uncle clown thinking that the boss was going to take it out of his wages
Episode 4, a dew nope?
Not much hope felt from the other side of the carriage
a gaggle of girlies in matching clown kit
looking, giggling and almost drowning in badges, scarves etc
Ducking behind heads
adjusting of fringes
Didn't the dynamic change when we stopped at postage station!
a gaggle minus a the majority equals 1
now looking very shy,
not so giggly
eyes darting about.
a debonair couple counting down the stops and minutes
the spiky haired bogey boys
proudly displaying their clown clathes
a couple in their 50's
a comfortable rapport
disappointed but not despairing
a good natured sense of camaraderie
even a clown from another town
dressed in his special clown kit for 'special' renaissance clowns
i promising beginning if ever there was one...

Stella Artois and other trouser snakes

Okay, now everybody sit in a circle
put your arms around the person on your left
'that' left harry!
close your eyes
listen to the cheesy ambient music soothing your id
ok chillunn, arms around the shoulders of the chillun next to you
AND
hands where I can see them
Imagine you are by the sea
feel the sandy grit between your toes
your own toes Nobby!
listen to the gentle hush, crackle and rumble of the waves lapping
let your mind drift
you are not in a dark room with your fellow pupils of questionable parentage
you are not drinking glue, Paul
You feel your legs starting to liquify
you feel the orange coloured liquid burning behind your eyelids
Nigel, put that away! you pervy little cunt!
the call of the seagulls pulls you away
you have become at one with your environs
NO, A SEAGULL DID NOT SHIT ON YOUR EAR DICKIE!!!
Where were we....?
Ahh, empty your minds of all conscious thought children
Shouldn't be too hard for you Elizabeth...
What? nothing...
Now, your parents mustn't know about our group 'hugs'
they might become angry at you,
you know what parents are like...
it IS completely natural Phyllis
now... you may feel a little prick....

who ev er........

i am so great.........

i am so great.........

i am so great..........

so......

so.......

how do you feel about the ethernet?? Camel


Wonderpants
Flatulence
Camelance
Recalcetrance
France
Ants in your Pants
Adam and the Ants
Take a chance
Hmmmmmmm...
:-)
)))

'Doctor' and other words of evil

Fletch
Wretch
Wrench
Wench
Bench
Bunch
Hunch
munch
lunch
lynch
pinch
punch
punk
hunk
monk
spank
plank
rank
crank
blue cave
nick cave
nick cage
oh why?
4 ply
plank
rank
Miserable git
midnight flit
nitwit
twit
twat
splat
railroad tracks
snacky smores
arachno spores
baaa whores
horrse
wars
oregon
oreos
oracle
monacle
monaco
munki
head on
big ron
ivor bigun
ooh err
rascist slurr
drunken blur
parklife
trouble and strife
dead horse
peoples' beds
beloved Ned
Father Ted
He's dead now of course
Homer J Fitz
the Malice, not the Ritz
on the razz
gettin all spazz
taxpayers wage
ruthless age
at this late stage
soothsayer and sage
tea leaves spoken
word unbroken
no more smokin
last token
beady eyes
bad disguise
like all the other guys
Old mother hen
wig and pen
lunch for all
big or small
52 members of the fall
He can't Cope
There's no hope
Formed new order
Alan Border
In Como Hills
can't find my pills
forgotten the keys
bees have knees?
Goats do roam
far from home
dropped his tome
easy to burn
never will learn
face so stern
stomach now churn
a knife through butter
given the putter
left or right
out of sight
Marlboro Gold?

way on down signal st.

what's your sign?
your insignificance is overwhelming.
wheres your signal?
what the hell is an ensign?
sign here please and here, and here and here....
oh lordy lordy lordy won't you give me a sign?
what's the significance of it all ?
intelligent design, what's that... an arse with a degree?
will you be a signatory to this ?
a sign o' the time his pert little purple arse...
just try to imagine a whole language of signs.
I am now resigned to my indignity
Is this your significant other?
designated driver it's your bag baby
Your assignment is to invent a new definition of 'love'
She assigned me the grave task of following her down

boris the shared sign has been laid low
a moment of silence for his family's loss

the great false big hair debacle part 2

Three strapping young men clambered over the rocks
the waves crashed in off in the distance as they picked their way amongst rock pools
and invariably stubbed their piggy wiggies
Strapping no.1 says "are you sure this is a good idea?"
Strapping no.2 says "of course it is... what could possibly go wrong, you big girls blouse?!"
Strapping no.3 says "oh wow, check out the crab in here!"
Strapping no.2 says "that's not a crab, that's your mother'
Strapping no.1 stares worriedly at the rushing grey clouds and then at the booming waves
Strapping no.2 looks at Strapping no. 1 with open contempt
Strapping no.3 remains fixated with the crab, trying to make out the resemblance to his mother...

They found a rock pool big enough to jump in
Stripped down to their smalls and looked at about...
their smalls lurched back in fear
They each carefully placed their smalls in a colour co-ordinated row in a rock with the best view of the water, cooing gently to them
Despite their strappingness, the young fellows knew how to take care of their smalls...

One big hair flapped about purposefully
Glad to be away from the grind of the mill
He couldn't see the bar, nor the one at it....
It seemed a long time since the Strappings strode down that fateful boulevard
Indeed, it seemed it was another life...
Suddenly there was a splash and a yelp
This wasn't turning out at all how they had hoped...

ostrayan eyedull

quick turn off your brain
here come's the reality tv bus
big brudder, idle minds, i'm a turd getta me somewhere, biggest tosser, twats famous for nothing going square dancing,
not much different really from the rest of commercial television in this country...
holiday shows sponsored by resorts, dig up your backyard, change your house, change your wife, self-raising babies, is there a limit to the shite on offer ? no need to participate in life, just watch it.
border paranoia patrol.... oooh look out!
the hordes at the borders trying to get into our lovely white country, funny looking people with different accents and different LANGUAGES and CULCHAS. Keep our horizons broadened, as far as the next suburb. So, world affairs at the moment are, a war against bad people who look different with our mates US and UK (who really couldn't give a toss). something else happened in the US, an Australian got slightly famous in the US, fucking try to stop me beaming with pride. No need to mention the 5 billion other people who inhabit the planet. that'd be un-australian....
there's cops and docs galore, all pouring in from the USA our new spiritual homeland. Advertisements made in the USA, or made in Australia with US accents! fuck that's convinced me.
ring 911 for help! Middle Eastern australians dressing up as ghetto blacks.
Soap? fucking don't insult inanimate cleansing materials. Neighbours and home and away, challenges you keep you on your toes... to get the fuck out of the room and/or the country. Sold and syndicated to sad bastards the world over, who believe Australians live and reason like that.
Sports shows that bang on mindlessly about trivial games. you mean rugby league isn't the worlds most popular game? I can't understand it, it's so....... fucking shit.
never mind that the rest of the world plays and watches other things....
Oz comedy, dig a fucking hole and bury it, the creativity of a slug shredded by razor wire having a bad hair day.
games shows hosted by talentless, humourless, charismaless wankers and barbie doll birdies
current affairs about dole bludgers, sheister businessmen, save $2.20 on your asparagus, and the WORLD'S WORST NEIGHBOURS!!!!!!!!!!!! how low can the common denominator be?
so what have learned today about the world....
wired words of wisdom spoken by bottom obsessed animations
how do you get on tv? you gotta be famous...
how do you get famous? you gotta be on tv...
crank it up for the advertisements.
tell me how to live with a cheery jingle mother fucker?

Caro Diario

Dear Diary,
Today is the 3rd day of Lavatory Lovers camp...
I really miss my parents, Mum and her strap-on goat. Dad and his rectal warts. I wonder what Richard is doing, I hope he's not planting any more bones in my veggie patch! And I even miss little Marguerite and her runny bottom...
I hope they are taking good care of Monkey and Spank. I guess they must be wondering where I am. Gosh, they really are the best weasels a boy could wish, they lick your nose and nibble on your todger.
The guys here at camp are pretty good. At least I think they are. I hang out with Scott and Hank, we tend to keep to ourselves. At least we know each other from Fisties play group. There are a few scary types though. There is that kid called Nige that keeps playing with firelighting fluid and masturbating on the coin operated BBQ. Then there's that big kid, Byker, he's got big hair and keeps punching me on the arm and calling me Martha. I don't know why he does it, but it freaks me. And there are the 2 psycho kids, Sid Scott and Trev the toad. I sure am glad they haven't noticed me much. They keep talking about starting fights with the Lavatory Lovers from Munchly South 3rd, it sounds very exciting but i hope nobody will notice if i stick to hiding in the long grass.
I tried smoking a bark cigarette today, it was kind of fun until Nige came along and tried to impale me with his 'loving stick'. He's weird man. The group leaders keep trying to make us sing, but my voice is crap so I just move my lips along and look at the ground. They also want us to try to earn merit stars, but I really aren't interested. Dogger John says if i don't get at least one badge they will make me stay behind.
I really wish my parents wouldn't make me come here. They think it's good for me, I think it just sucks. I would rather be home watching the Paris Hilton video over and over with Monkey and Spank. They are the only ones that understand me.
Dogger John just said it's lights out, so I gotta end it here. Tommorrow we have to make a noose and hang the biggest animal we can find, Trev the toad reckons he's gonna get a bison. Sounds pretty scary to me.
until tomorrow...

Ox shun

don't waste no time on men of wax
don't back no uterus up
see the tour bus,
know you bearings
to the white hills of endeavour
oh how I miss them
where the camels of ships do play
couch spying and sitting
slimming vertical stripes...
oooh err, don't you look snappy!
clever parking proves to be dumb camping
spying of pot,
where are the plants?
off to the show
something smells a bit fishy
is it old privy breath?
closing on a binge of metal carriages
Beaver Plastics once lived here
now homeless and shadows of their former Beavii
Beaver Packaging took their places
bringing on milla jovovich in the purest of senses
nothing to do with bloody hell...
so many miles from Beaver Housing
alright guvna?
across seas, lands and cloud formations
accents, skin groupings and small variations on the theme of humanity
many a time did we sit,
yon ship of the desert and I
in amongst the belching beasts
2 minutes 'til blast off
the hairy canary standing by
the brains trust standing off
nosin around nosin around
a residence built by young people
for young people
the crowds swelled in their collective trousers
the tension built
and Mr Clever Pants finally came out
a-prancing and a-dancing,
a-preaching and a-leeching
the regulations of the state pronounce that any pro-lapses of the rectum must therefore be protracted beyond any further pronouncements...
SSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !
that was the important bit.
the night ship closed his legs
retracted his antennae and made small talk with kitty kat
the functioning of section 13, cell block Q, which shall be henceforth be referred to as the smiling seat of power puts forth the order of the day forthwith........
the hairy canary passes wind
the ebabes smiles benignly
something like a phenomenon soaking up the information
thou shalt stand with your rear facing outwards, shedheads firmly strapped on and any itching, scratching or pining shall be freely interpreted as a gesture of goodwill and desirous of collusion.....
hearty banter, nervous smiles.........
around and around the parcel is passed
bouncy bounce bounce bounce....
the muzak stops
Albert Brown states his wish and throws a coin over his shoulder
No win!
the muzak starts up again...
is that how he affords the gnashers?
bouncy bounce bounce bounce...
the hairy canary tries to wave the bus down
but uses the wrong hand signals
the driver wipes his dill sandwich across the screen and burns off indignantly
who is that snickering?
here kitty kitty....
the muzak stops again
Signorina Akmallagram is left holding the bundle, holds her breath and tries to click her heels
No win!
a fight to the death seems imminent
Marshall Stacked and his good husband look to have set their hearts to schtum
Lesbian Pygmy Revue know what to do...
Hear ye, hear ye, hear ye... the pontiff of this accursed hamlet has let it be known that it is for the keep not the forecastle
a flash of blue crosses benevolent ebay shopper
the hairy canary ducks and dives
a tooth from Marshall
some nails from the revue
some milking from Mr Clever Pants
a few loose screws by Marshall
the Revue knows it's now or never
murmuring along the one-legged chorus line...
the social club funds are spent and faded.
Marshall booms cool,
ready to blast inwards and onwards
vass is diss?
a change in the wind
and the sails fail
and Marco Cool plucks the pigeon and it's over....
wot, no cuddle?

J R R Token posting

dragons, elves, dwarves, gollums, caves, dildos, fireworks, horses, heroics, schnaas, despair, evil, gude...
you know the drill

all aboard the blandwagon

now who is that sucks the most?
who is that bores the ghosts?
what is the name of the tick that bites the host?
who is that on a spit that you'd like to roast?
who is that you wish you lived in an era of post- ?
it's Turdplay
the junket of music
so inoffensive it's offensive!
boring middle class dirge
radiohead with no bollocks
no ones with no class
not one ickle original idea to be seen or heard
just look mopey and play twat piano solo... that's never been done before
ersatz music that takes the experiment and soul out of music
not interesting enough to be depressing
depressingly enough it's interesting to the masses
ever humble frontman Chris Martin
claims to not feel worth of the popularity
too fucking right
how to make a 3 legged ant with multiple sclerosis
no organs, no sense of smell, touch or TASTE
quiver with delight
or is that just the bit of sugar falling out the rectum?
Gwyneth Paltrow says english blokes are bores
well, hold a stick up to fleet street and show them who's right!
marry and procreate with the most boring bore since boredeville
Sap is a compliment,
At least sap serves some purpose
Drivel is just too good,
Drivel at least has an anatomic function
Shite isn't applicable,
shite can make your vegetables grow
bollocks is too kind,
bollocks carry the possibility of new life
garbage is inappropriate,
garbage might once have held consumables
insipid can't be apt,
insipid only lacks a bit of salt
tripe aint allowed,
tripe is food to some mountain dwellers
bad doesn't cut it,
bad is a place with a swimming pool
Excrement isn't getting there,
excrement can be rhymed with excellent
mediocre wont work,
mediocre implies better than something else
pointless doesn't deserve this rap,
pointless might have a rounded mound
Awful shouldn't be tarred with this brush,
awful isn't as empty as this
Woeful is inept as an adjective,
woeful carries some weight
Trite doesn't get there,
trite at least has been used
Hackneyed is way too kind,
hackneyed probably has a common...


i know a 1 year old who digs them...
(i suspect even he's just taking the piss)

do you remember the first time?

leave your passport/camera on a train in Prague, Czech Republic
hearing a loud roar when the lions are supposed to have left in Botswana
not reading saucy diary invitation until too late in Cape Town, South Africa
falling asleep on the road in the Dordogne, France
loudly demeaning bogans at the Australian Grand Prix
Getting so high that 10 metres was too far to bed in Copenhagen
Being too hung over and miss seeing Mt Fuji twice in Japan
Staying still when voices were heard on top of Old Sarum, UK
Climbing Three cliffs with sweaty sandals, Gower Peninsula, UK
Not locking the door in hostel, Salzburg
Wandering the streets on new year's eve shouting 'happy new anus', San Sebastian, Spain
trying to sleep in a frozen car, Edinburgh, UK
not getting high in Amsterdam
not ducking head at the right moment, Alton Towers UK
jumping on frozen river , north west Scotland
wandering about countryside with big heavy bag and gypsies for company, Slovakia
Getting off aeroplane, Brisbane Australia
not buying the giant tour poster Bristol, UK
drinking majority of Aftershock bottle, Nile river Egypt
Hiking the Inca Trail without anti-inflammatories, Peru
Having too many beers before the show, Innsbruck, Austria
Booking earlier flight to UK than was necessary, San Diego, USA
Not looking too closely at silk item, Hua Hin, Thailand
Not listening to dodgy copied CD's, Costa Smeralda, Sardinia
smoking too much dope the night before final Scuba exam, Malawi
Challenging bartender to drinking competition with Polish spirit, Kyoto, Japan
dropping other peoples mobiles in frankston lavatories
eating that accursed paella in Barcelona, coz 'it's the best'
finishing that bottle of grappa and the going for a walk in Umbria
remembering to brake on King St, when John Cunt Howard was crossing
not keeping your mouth shut in Nairobi, Kenya
agreeing to follow Lets Go to Interlaken, Switzerland american hell
not running from Israeli hordes in Ica, Peru
Not deliberately programming an entire office full of computers to read "Richard Buttmunch Harvey" in Swansea, UK
cleverly leaving my wallet in back pocket in a bakery in Harare, Zimbabwe
Not bothering to quadruple check accommodation details for late night welsh monsoon arrival with Bob in Swansea, UK
Seeing no need to learn about ancient Minoan culture before gawking at volcanoes in the Aegean Sea, Greece

I just wanna smoke it

One week down
how many weeks up ?
no sugar
no wheat
no dairy products
next to no fruit
nothing frozen,
nothing from a packet
nothing from a tin, jar, barrel or other vessel
no booze
no fags
no dope
no trips
how much rice can one stomach stomach ?
how many stir-fries can you look in the eye?
is their a limit on buckwheat pancakes?
can too much vegetable slurry drink do you harm?
soy milk is all the rage
but a little bit of flavour lionel wouldn't be unloved
filtered water
sitting by the demi-joan
tip, split, splurt, splash
what a fucking waste of time
lucky i've got plenty to throw
seeds, the birds are on to something
how many baby pumpkins must die?
the massacre of tournasols
they will never turn from where they are going
6-7 almonds, does that mean 6 and a half?
10% cashews is a bit cheeky
but what can you do when you need a spread
and your hand is poor?
BUT good news is at hand
all tomorrows parties will have exciting guests
eggs
small serving of avocado
wacky thrillybits bread
and other obscene pleasures that pass me by
what will it all bring?
apart from boredom...
exciting slimline executive model?
clear skin so clear you can see the other side of the plane?
liver bored shitless ?
kidneys closing down for the summer?
less air pollution?
incredible health recovery and impending triathlons?
or maybe a stroll around the blockage?
the connotations are limited
the permeatations are meaningless
the stipulations are several
ahh but weeks from now...
won't it be peachy
how good will that first beer taste?
that first lovely drop of wine?
that first pizza ?
butsugiri melting slowly in the mouth?
good intentions follow
life changing affirmations
I will learn the difference between krishna and vishnu
Siddharta might mean something more...
and the Indus valley culture might explain a lot the aryans never could or would.
bokko!

'twere the panties

they were old...
m heh heh heh

the book of marrone

it's kind of brown
doesn't lead anywhere
not involving any crucibles, chalices or dreaming spires
sits you down when you least expect it
won't make any promises
doesn't demand you paint your shoes
it will let you use electricity
doesn't make you wear silly hats or robes
lets you trim your beard and sideburns
it doesn't have a holy land
and won't demand crusades
no tall stories about big heads
women play a prominent role
not just seductresses and mothers
sweet mother earth
what are you worth?
you can eat all the meat you want
goat, pork, beef and rodent
it will leave you with some doubt
but none of it will be about the book
double spacing
extra large print
if you swear on it
it'll most likely swear back on you
there will be no need to stay up at solstices
no scrounging about clearings
paying masons to carve out your gargoyles
it may be of use to impress the ladies
it will definitely be of use to show the blokes up
keep your bincolulars in the cupboard
you won't need to pray or prey
no need to whack yourself silly
or wear a shirt of hessian
hardly a demanding book
not like some
you can still peep through the keyhole
and you can tell your cousin all about it
you might make out the hut in the woods
the one beyond the lake
and learn the meaning of life
you won't need to follow a gourd
eat acid laced lichen
and speak with its avatars
then again, the book won't commit itself
best of all there are no illustrations
so you can dream it all up
the protagonists will follow your intelligent design
fuck the pope's
keep on your toes
sooner or later
someone will throw it at you

black in metropolis

it is a little known fact that before the 1970's the world was entirely black and white
your grandparents met in black and white
the cote d'azure was known as the cote de gris
your dad was born in black and white
wars were fought with black bullets
shooting greyish soldiers
the blood they shed was more black than white
the sun beat down in a greyish white
causing blackish sunburn (and cancer)
embarassed schoolgirls blushed grey
when a handsome man smiled their way
Harold Holt drowned in black and white
the divers who searched for his body were greyish
the japanese who didn't take him were a darker shade of grey
the beatles mops were plenty black
to offset their white shirts
race was harder to define
greenpeace struggled for identity
the trains and trams were shades of black
(not actually possible)
it didn't specifically slow them down
the rails were a blackish hue
and the passengers didn't dare break the monochrome
charlie black was a favourite kids comic
political scandals all occurred in black and white
prostitutes plied there trade with glossy black lipstick
short blackish dresses
and lurid greyish white make up
family reunions were all variants of grey
little boys ran around in their grey long shorts
baby girls had slightly whiter jump suits
blues music was generally known as greys
at xmas time all the presents were wrapped in colourful black and white paper
sometimes black with grey splashes and white dots
the fireworks sure were something to behold
lighting the black sky up with splashes of white and grey
nobody ever succeeded in painting the town red
big hair was often black, grey or white
never red, brown or blonde
'all the colours of the rainbow' meant a little less
blackish oceans with white caps rocked black boats
schools of grey fish dived and weaved to avoid the vivid white seabirds with their black beaks
ignorant white men in north america called the indigineous peoples greyskins
juries sat on dark grey benches
listening to black haired lawyers
whilst defendants shivered in their black suits
blood black roses promised eternal devotion
cowards were accused of being light grey
for not dying pointlessly in a foreign land
mobsters sped down dark grey alleys in their black cars
burning down black shops with dazzling white flames
and beat them black and white
when the proprietors paid no heed money
pouring nice grey concrete booties for supergrassi
that screamed black murder as they were dragged down the pier
politicians took black and white bribes
so grey buildings could take the place of blackened forests
i wonder what oranges were called?
and
Limebeavers were unheard of...

great 'taches of the 20th century

weird al yankovic
e-babes
carlos valderamma
hitler
merv hughes
david boon
george donikian
tom selleck
lenin
burt reynolds
george roper
salvador dali
john cleese
fletch
ron jeremy
nigel mansell
inspector clouseau
peter cook
harold pompino
david cloke
george harrison
uncle roger
funk
rodney marsh
errol flynn
mother theresa
stalin
fu man chu
genghis khan (his hardness overruns any timeline concerns)
saddam hussein
kalyan ramjisain
Ned flanders
gerald sbrugnera
homerclese
Mr Adams
Frank Ulm
natasha varga
freddie mercury
Polish males (cold war)
greek females (over 50)
shell suited pale teen brits
arab, arabs and some more arabs
alfonse arseberg
albert einstein
Lionel Ritchie
DID I MISS ANYBODY?