what makes him... Summer?

temperature drop in downtown winterland

its getting a bit chilly on the willy of late here in inner north winterland

of course its all relative

like your mamma!

its nothing like winter splinter bay in lapland

or melting with the spring snows in archangel

or autumn soon at mount erebus

or

worst of all

one more summer in surf city, brummagem

why gwyn talks like a pirate

                                      newton trying to get his leg over with yet another bird

Robert Newton was an English nutter. Along with (cool/australian) Errol Flynn, Newton was one of the more popular actors among the male and extremefuckingmente juvenile audience of the 1940s and early 1950s, especially with British nobbers. Known for his hard-living lifestyle, he was cited as a role model by the actor Oliver Reed and the Who's drummer Keith Moon (both famously balanced individuals).

He's best remembered today for playing Long John Schlong in Treasure Island (1950) and its sequel in 1954. His portrayal of Long John Schlong and of Blackbutt, the Pirate (1952) created a persona that was so indelible that his vocal intonations created the paradigm for scores of people who want to "Talk Like a Pirate".

Which is exemplified by,  in the 1970's, when young roustabout and aspiring corsair gwyn (growing up on the mean streets of soapytitwank, westcountria) began to speak exactly the same as newton coz as has been scientifically verified, all west country accents are identical in every way.

so long courtney

supercool courtney gives leonard a healthy strayan twang and does it quite beautifully

he lied and he cared not a jɒt!

c'era una volta

tantissimi anni fa

nel millenio scorso

c'era uno straniero sciocco

che visitava la bella citta, la superba

era un tipo molto fortunato

perche gia aveva qualche amica di la

li conosceva da una sperienza che abbia vissuto a londra

quindi sto fortunato

andava in giro con ste ragazze simpatiche

erana super brave

e gli sono portato a tanti bei posti

a vedere delle cose interessanti

e a mangiare delle cose stupende

una giornata splendida

gli sono portati a vedere un paesino famoso

molto pictoresco 

dove vivono della gente straricche

che si potrebbe chiamare pòrtofin 

(puodarsi!)

nell tragitto in treno

con un bellissima visto del tirenno

e i borghi pintoreschi

entre tante chiacchierate divertenti

lui guardava fuori dalla finestra

ha spiato qualche barche a vela

e, inspirato

ha deciso di raccontarle una buffala straordinare

non per essere cattivo

solo per dire una cazzata divertente

le ha detto che la parola inglese 'yacht'

(e ricordatevi che loro parlassino benissimo l'inglese)

quindi ha detto che questo yacht non si pronuncia 'jɒt'

come le avevano insegnato a scuola o alla universita

per niente 

ha detto questo rompipalle

invece

le ha detto che si pronuncia 

jæt͡ʃt

ma come erano ragazze intelligenti e istruiti

come ho gia detto

e poliglotte

e lui era un poveraccio che conosceva solo l'inglese

(e scarsamente)

erano sicure che non e' corretto

hanno detto 'ma nooo!'

non e' possibile!

in piu non si suona naturale!

i nostri professori hanno detto che si pronuncia 'jɒt'!

e (di corsa) wink wink

avevano ragione

ma sto tipo sciocco e rompipalle

ha insistito

ma come dite?

e la mia lingua madre

lo conosco

cento per cento!

le poverine sono rimasti stupite

e' un pazzo?

e' forse drogato?

como mai non l'avevamo sentito prima sta roba?

pero lo straniero bugiardo

era bravo a dire le menzogne

e continuava a dire con una certezza forte

nop nop nop

si dice jæt͡ʃt!

before the black hills, souf dakota, gringolandia were vandalised ...

werent they just luvverly?

then...whitey trashed it

(but he wasnt yet on the moon)

The insult of Rushmore to some Sioux is at least three-fold:

1. It was built on land the government took from them.
2. The Black Hills in particular are considered sacred ground.
3.The monument celebrates the European settlers who killed so many Native Americans and appropriated their land.

(from american experience)

definite article 2- fucking romance languages

portugues

francais

espanol

italiano

fucking simple innit?

definite article -english

tricky innit?

foda se!

Grupo evangélico peruano injeta medicamento veterinário em milhares de pessoas para a Covid-19

Pelo menos 5.000 habitantes da Amazônia peruana receberam uma vacina antiparasitária para animais, oferecida pelos religiosos como “uma salvação” para o coronavírus

Equipe de saúde aguarda no porto de Iquitos para transferir pacientes ao hospital da região, em 18 de junho.CESAR VON BANCELS / AFP

JACQUELINE FOWKS

Lima - 21 JUN 2020 - 19:14 CEST

Na região de Loreto, a maior da Amazônia peruana, o governador e um grupo evangélico promoveram a aplicação da ivermectina veterinária em cerca de 5.000 pessoas. Nesta área isolada do Peru, onde vivem quase um milhão de pessoas, das quais 300.000 indígenas, o medo da Covid-19 e a falta de assistência do Estado levaram muita gente a aceitar a injeção do antiparasitário, que foi apresentado como um paliativo para a doença. “Desde maio, o governador do departamento de Loreto e uma aliança evangélica convocaram as pessoas, usando as emissoras de rádio, para aplicar a ivermectina veterinária como se fosse uma vacina contra a doença. Em Nauta, pelo menos 5.000 pessoas a receberam”, diz Leonardo Tello, diretor da Rádio Ucamara, a principal emissora da cidade, localizada a duas horas da capital da região, Iquitos, e ponto de entrada para as comunidades indígenas do rio Marañon.

Tello conta que muitas pessoas sentiram o coração bater mais rápido após a injeção. “O efeito colateral tem sido horroroso”, relata. Segundo ele, alguns pastores evangélicos de Loreto vincularam o novo coronavírus ao demônio e ao fim do mundo, oferecendo essas injeções “como salvação”.

roger goes bau

roger is little and black
though not as little as he once was
but still plenty black
roger is as cute as can be
roger is ambivalent towards me
roger has a basic grasp of italian
come tutti i cuccioli bravi
he sometimes makes a bit of noise
when he goes
bau bau
but i dont mind
its nice to know that roger is there
in fact not that long ago
i hadnt heard from roger for a few months
i did wonder if roger was on holiday!
roger knows my voice
but not my face
roger goes scrit scrit scrit
on the back door
when he knows mum and dad are around
roger wonders what is going on over there
and sometimes gets into arguments
with his neighbours
when they get too bolshy
'piss off' roger says
'this is my hood'
they will argue back
but ultimately
they know that roger is king

roger doesnt know it
but
roger is my friend

vocally fried

whats your fave type of vocal fry?

hokey croaky schnaa

(ohhhh emilia!!!)

OR

the original great man

a sweeping state-ment

all good and pantywaist anglophones were most likely force fed info about the house of plantagenet

they ruled over chunks of france

and large bits of the bwitish (northern?) isles for hundreds of years

even the most ignorant donkey fucker has heard of 

some harrys, dicks and eddies

after centuries of standard slaughter and oppression

and copulating with their sisters, uncles and step midgets

they eventually got sick of incest

and in the name of pompous fuckwittery and lutes

murdered themselves into oblivion

but at least their noble named lived on!?

 doesnt the name plantagenet sound sooo sophis!

sooo exotico!

sooo high and mighty!

yeah nah

its named after an unimpressive ickle yellow flower

genisteae or planta genista

also known as the broom plant

how very glamourous indeed! 

quiubole?

arrecho!

chido?

chevere?

arrecho?

puravida?

weona?

chuchaqui?

boludo?

naco?

pana?

parcero?

tio?

chavo?

compa?

vos?

coger?

orale?

hijole?

andale?

birra?

fria?

chela?

tuanis?

maje?

chispero?

che?

cerote?

fren?

vaina?

flaite?

cachai?

fresa?

guagua?

bacano?

pelotudo?

pinche guey!

ojafuckingla!

la matinee? baise-moi!

avez-vous alle' jamais au cinema dans l'apres midi pour voir un film 'matinee'?
moi, oui
mais ça n'a aucun sens!
et pourquois pas mon ami? vous dites
c'est parce que...
matinee vient de le mot matin
et ca veut dire selon google;
'Période de temps comprise entre le lever du soleil et midi.
putain!

brizzle gets bizzle... huzzah!

in shockingly contemporary news
brisvegans have torn down a statue Edward Colston and thrown it in the 'harbour'
colston was a revered filthy rich white dude who donated lots of wonga to his home town of brizzle
which contributed to the construction of many lovely buildings and plazas
some of which still bear his name
looking at you megabus terminal @ hall

unfortunately
much like grandpa simpsons onion on his belt
colston made his money by shipping Human Beings as Chattels
(no relation)
and their descendants
to short brutal lives (if they didnt die en route)
of misery and suffering as Slaves
which was the style at the time


admittedly he did this evil shit in the 17th and 18th centuries
when it wasnt uncommon to see 'others' as uncivlized
thus less than human
the europeans and their north american colonies had a merry old time
making eye watering amounts of money via this exploitation
and built much of their current nations wealth
and plenty of grand buildings
(looking at you port of liverpool)
on the 'triangular trade'
of approx fucking 12.5 million Humans

yes yes you cryptofascists
they werent the only ones by any stretch
the africans were usually caught and sold on by other african tribes
and the arabs were past masters
mayans, romans, shang and just about every other fucker
etc etc
but if you take into account
go fuck yourselves moral relativist cunts
...

the main offenders were (in Humans trafficked)

Spain         Portugal     Great Britain   Netherlands  U.S.A    .France   
1,061,524  5,848,266   3,259,441          554,336   305,326  1,381,404

serpicant be serious

i dont care if it was the early seventies
when looking like youd been dragged backwards through a leech infested swamphenge
was way cool
man
i dont care if al pacino is a bit of a mito
nor if his gringaccento was whiny as fuck
i dont even care that at times in the film when hes fully bearded
and you can only see his mug
he looks particularly handsome
like a glammy cross between marco and stefan
i dont care if people sometimes wore glider sized lapels to weddings
with sideburns that would have made old burnside cringe
i dont even care that he was a rebel
a hippy
a groover
or the fucking formosan queen mother
i dont care if he was an evil scientists version of a love child of a highly stoned chong, bill oddie and billy from easy rider
i dont care if his mum spoke to him in italian dialect
nor that the real bloke was ethically outstanding


thats just fucking obscene

whats on your mind?

brain food?

un che pibe boludo

Cunt Leopold's Goats

Belgium hey?
cute little harmless country with pretty towns
waffles, chocolate and frites
kept being invaded by napolean then the naughty prussians
half frenchy
half nederlander
(plus a dash of deutsch)
tintin et milou!
a little stone wazzer
lovely friendly people

all good and innocent

surely they didnt get involved in the eurotrash mania of colonising, looting and genocide of the last half millenium?

not like those dastardly french in indochina or west and north africa
or those wicked spanish in latin america and the (phillip)ines
or those brutal portuguese in africa and brasil
or those java despoiling dutch
not even like those giovanni come latelys - italy, having a gas in abyssinia
or those genocidal germans in namibia, hottenwots?
or the champions of colonial exploitation, the conniving engerlish!

alas they were at it too

as (some of the) sex pistols said
no one is innocent.