spot the twat no.15 THE OBVIOUS ONE

the arch lord of twatistan has his own trading cards

and the above image is not a clever piece of satire

and if you are truly, truly stupid

you can pay $99 gringodolares for one

claiming they are

'very much like a baseball card, but hopefully much more exciting'

yes

i know

its fucking painfully self evident

after all

he might be the most famously enormous twat of recent decades

but he can no longer be ignored

his latest scam of selling his own 'digital trading card'

just screams 'IM A FUCKING HUGE, ALMOST UNFATHOMABLY APPALLING TWAT'

Beavis & Butthead do no.34 - Cinderella

butt, butt, butt, butt, butt, butt, butt, butt, butt...

Nothing Compares 2Urinating standing up

i never really got sinead as a teen 

when i was getting into music

i wasnt inspired by furious post catholic female angst

despite the lovely jassy giving me the big hit 7 inch single for my 17th bday

in a bland shopping centre reproduced from a gringo corporate masterplan

that could have been in istanbul, johannesburg or bogota

(you too could look like arseville dakota!)

she just seemed like a funny talented madwoman

from a distance

she came across as a nutter

and a nutter she was

but she had a fucking point

(and it wasnt just that her trousers had rucked up!)

her rants about the catholic church were light years ahead of world events

and the doc has shown her to be far from the sensationalist freak that she was portrayed as at the time

she didnt shave her head to shock

she didnt say ugly truths to shock

she was bucking against the vicious hyper conservative ireland in which she lived

then she got ordained by some side church lot

later she became a muslim

because thats the only thinking christian thing to do etc etc

fuck all that sky high

she was a mighty brave, talented beast

in the form of a petite young woman

who faced an epic torrent of shit

from the (almighty) establishment

starring the self serving cuntery behemoth that is the catholic church

and the febrile bastion of ignorance which is the gringo christian right

((who wouldnt know a jebus if he showed up and shat in their letterboxes) AND left a calling card))

amongst others

which left an irreparable dent in her career

still

she did gain worldwide notoriety

(not that she sought it)

so much so that she became an ep cover

by the ultimate iconoclasts

after they got legally ken doned

btw 

i wonder how elke is doing...

how to measure like a brit

 

step one - remove any logical thoughts from brain

step two - good fucking luck

those lovely eccentric nutmegs, complicating life for no good reason

back in metropolis

You could sleep along the way

Dream in black and white...

fug life, tales of nonadventure 2

im fucked with being fucked ...

fug life, tales of nonadventure

tis a shit pick up line...

catarrh world cup update 2/12/22

 

this years world cup has been happily FULL of surprises

THE SUPRISERS

saudi! beat argentina!

japan! beat germany and spain and topped the group!

morocco! beat belgium and canada, drew with croatia. topped the group!

australia! beat denmark and tunisia and through

THE SURPRISEES

germany! lost to japan and OUT!

belgium! lost to morocco and OUT!

denmark! lost to australia, drew with tunisia and OUT!

catarrh! lost all games despite spending billions on stealing other nations players and FIRST OUT!

TWATS

ronaldo! tried to claim a team mates goal and was generally true his nature (a prat)

suarez! still pleased with himself for blatant past cheating

FIFA! still counting their billions of rials and pretending that human lives/rights dont matter

 

as we enter the fourth year...

 

I find covid's attention seeking pandemic based twattery even more annoying than years one to three...

hey j league, why no ichi ban thunderbastard dream lemurs?

ever wonder why japanese football teams have such comedic names?

if you speak a romance language (or german or dutch) it gets even funnier

which priceless linguistic clusterfuck is your team of cuore?

among the quality choices are-

tokyo greeny

leg osaka

kashima antlers

omiya squirrellel

yokahama s marinerereras

kawasaki frontal

kashima kingsun

windforest kofu

joy iwata

チーム不条理に行く！

evviva! qualcuno ha una mucchiata di candele?

e cosa abbiamo vinto?

------------

e per smentire una diceria banale che non muore mai...

help us santo sam and ed, youre our only hope! (at qatar 2022)

alas this is one empire that isnt striking back

at least we have tism not showing their faces again...

spot the twat no.14 - Gregoire de Fournas du RN

L'indignation à l'Assemblée nationale après des propos racistes. Lorsqu'un député noir prend la parole sur les migrants, un député du Rassemblement national crie "qu'il(s) retourne(nt) en Afrique"

parlait-il du navire ? pas du tout

on voit bien que le RN est toujours la meme merde raciste du FN que jamais, mais sous un nouveau déguisement.

fucking con repere'!

decision to quoi?

je n'avais rien compris.

comment c'etait possible que le type vivait avec la femme chinoise dans le milieu du film?

et apres, il n'a jamais été mentionné?

a part ca, c'est canon

만세!

All who have passed the age of thirty are joyless grotesques...

 

... endlessly fussing about things of no importance and staying alive, without, (so far as the child can see), having anything to live for. 

we are now further past the date for the setting of george orwells envisioned dystopia than that time is from when he wrote it.

coño eh?

we had the best time at your party

the wife and i thank you very much...

i dont know why

but i fucking love this song

it is damn hilarious

for a reason that cannot pin down

is it a piss take of adult MOR muzak?

a commentary on modern middle agers?

and is there just the faintest hint of swingerdom?

ween are known for all kinds of musical whackiness

but displaying real fucking genius

they can also make a 'straight' tune

thats swings along magnificently

seemingly without effort

le faux pas par excellence

 

'Le jour de la commémoration de la nuit du pogrom du Reich, offrez-vous un fromage plus tendre avec le poulet croustillant. maintenant chez kfcheese.'

ouaip, tu l'as bien lu.

kfc en allemagne a envoye un message 'push' sur sa application que suggere de celebrer 'kristallnacht', l'evenement vu comme le commencement de la shoah allemagne des juifs. genial! on va se souvenir le genocide avec la poule et frommage!

bravo! vous avez mis le pied taille trente dans votre bouche corporative!

juan heet juandas - the passions - im in love with a german film star

in the full post punk fundom of 1981

the passions put out a banger of a track

it was written by the vocalist about a former sex pistols and clash roadie

who had been a some german flix

no not that kind...

hows that for fucking random?

what attracted her to him?

was it that she had prescient knowledge that he would one day act in a film called 'penetration angst'?

did they ever get it on?

if so, was it angsty?

stay tuned to not find out a shitting thing!

transcrivint els ploros de rivers a València

once upon a time i went to valencia in spain

not

not palencia

nor

fnaalencia

nor valencia in venezuela, mexico, brazil

nor the other 54 other places called valencia

it was the tail end of summer

and it was lovely and sunny

i went there to visit carmen

 a cool chica i had met in rainy londres el ano pasado

despite me missing train stations 

and getting the hostels address wrong

(due to being a monoglot fool)

super patient carmen was a genial host

we went to a friends country place

with a bunch of her mates

ate REAL paella

(que es la unica paella que vale la pena, insistieron!)

and had a fun old time

(one of them was even a church fan!)

on the days when carmen was busy doing her thing

i wandered the town 

like a touristic clown

and one time 

ended up in an irish pub

in between pints of so so guinness

i got chatting with a couple of lovely valencian chicas

who were sitting there with a walkman

(old skool)

with their freshly purchased copy of pinkerton

trying to figure out the words

the were BIIIIG fans

they roped me into trying to figure out and transcribe

whatever the hell rivers cuomo was banging on about

i had heard some weezer

buddy holly obvs

that music vid!

and thought they were fun and pretty cool

but after an hour or so of trying to make sense of lyrics

i came to the conclusion that

rivers cuomo is a whiny little bitch

who just moaned about how hard his life is

in particular the being a rock star part

fun and cool?

more like moany and self indulgent

ive barely bothered to listen to them again

vés-te'n a la merda rivers

Zhōngguó on laowai...

honest, intelligent and thoughtful

去他妈的种族主义！

on this day dos - the scots did a hing

2nd November 1698 Scottish settlers make landfall in Panama, establishing the ill-fated 'Darien Venture' colony

Q - how did that work oot for ye hamish?

A 1 - (care of colonist Roger Oswald) ‘{Flour rations} When boiled with a little water, without anything else, big maggots and worms must be skimmed off the top… In short, a man might easily have destroyed his whole week’s ration in one day and have but one ordinary stomach neither… Yet for all this short allowance, every man (let him never be so weak) daily turned out to work by daylight, whether with the hatchet, or wheelbarrow, pick-axe, shovel, fore-hammer or any other instrument the case required; and so continued until 12 o’clock, and at 2 again and stayed till night, sometimes working all day up to the headbands of the breeches in water at the trenches. My shoulders have been so wore with carrying burdens that the skin has come off them and grew full of boils. If a man were sick and obliged to stay within, no victuals for him that day. Our Councillors all the while lying at their ease, sometimes divided into factions and, being swayed by particular interest, ruined the public… Our bodies pined away and grew so macerated with such allowance that we were like so many skeletons.’

A 2 - 

eat local, think global

if you fucking can!

 

(CI SONO) FASCISTI SU MARTE, STATE ATTENTI CENERE BOYS!

    in the nineties the youngster funsters of ash made a bit of a splash with their rambunctious tunes

one of the catchiest was

 girl from mars

ma

20 anni dopo si e stata trovata della prova cinematica che forse era 

una ragazza mimimmi fascista!

juan heet juandas- god- my pal

16 and 17 year olds

the late 1980s

melby osstraya

pub rock monsterism

tunefully smashing and bashing

parnks not ded fred

vale th and sg

and you dont even like me...

Beavis & Butthead do no. 33 - james

-hey butthead who is this buttknocker anyways?

-this is james 

-james who?

-his parents asked him not to use their last name, because its like, he sucks...

Ce verimm' aròppo Gomorra

nooo...

si e' finito mo

tutte le 5 serie

tutte le 58 puntate

non ce piu ciruzzo

neanche genna

idem sangue blu, monacielo, don pietro, scianel, patrizia la figa ecc ecc

che tristezza guagliu

niente piu della bellezza e della bruttezza di napoli e campania

niente piu gergo napulitano

grazie assaje per il viaggio

Sometimes...

i miss old blighty...

sometimes

not so much...

everybodys a bit of a cunt sometimes...

YOU'RE a cunt!

Saló - o le 120 giornate di roba squillibrata

ma porchi stronzi!

il povero pasolini c'e l'ha fatta alla grande per il suo ultimo film

eccome!

purtroppo e stato assassinato prima della uscita del film

nelle circonstanze davvero particolari

il film era bannato in vari paesi per decenni

per la sua perversione/offese alle virtu ecc ecc

le solite sciocchezze

e francamente il girone della merda 

non era molto piacevole

ma e l'arte!

quindi bravo PPP

hai fatto un capolavoro

ma non credo che lo guardero di nuovo prestissimo

non dire

va a caga....

Peron, el boludisimo

toda esta charla de indoctrinacion

de la patria

de las generaciones que vienen

de fucking group think

de vestir a los ninos es uniformes marciales

son espantosos

no es por casualidad

que hacen eco 

de los fascistas alemanes y italianos

claro que fue de moda

en este epoca

pero 

si un dia tu lider

esta campion de los sindicatos

y el otro 

es manipulador en jefe de los servicios secretos

hay que preguntar

que representa?

no piensen!

no pregunten!

siguen y basta!

(al menos no invadio a la polonia)

Beavis & Butthead do no. 32 - Motörhead -

- "How come Lemmy has those two big coco puffs stuck to his cheek?

- "Because it looks cool"

Go to London, I guarantee you'll either be mugged or not appreciated...

... Catch the train to London, stopping at Rejection, Disappointment, Backstabbing Central and Shattered Dreams Parkway.

 

A Statement of Intent (of imbecilic incompetent cuntery)

thwak!

desk of sport

in the 19th and early 20th centuries

a popular sport in lancashire

was clog fighting!

it involved kicking your opponent in the shins

while wearing wooden clogs

which were often sharpened or had metal attached

until one of the competitors cried

'sufficient!'

bloody shinned cristos on a segway!

 

The Innocents (ou pas)

en ironisk tittel eller hva?

spooky little fuckers...

Semper Fatuum

freedom is the only way, yeah!

fittipaldi corre per fratelli d'italia come candidato all'estero

 

che cretino dalle basette gigantesche

spero che il suo patetico ritardato veicolo del cazzo si esploda alla partenza

vai tomar no cu!

Måneskin - VENT'ANNI (o meno) di qualsiasismo

allora

dopo piu di un anno di vederli menzionati sul feis 

da quando hanno vinto il trashovision

mi sono rimasto cosi

wao que competenza
come sono famosi per il euroschifo, avevo degli idea specifici di come sarebbero stati
ma no.. non sono patetici
cmq
non ce niente di originale

prende un po di interpol
e mette un po di yeah yeah yeahs
poi qualche goccia di the strokes
e un dash di ligabue

e eccoli

una banda adeguata

e basta

Beavis and Butthead do no.31- shaggy

- what is this, this accent hes talking?

- dumbass, its foreign

¡Viva la República de Cangurolandia!

stonking gig thatll be

 

but no

it wont

not for me anyway

ive been waiting for this gig for years

had my tix sitting in my inbox for months

new songs from new album to flog

new lineup to smash it

(with two drummers!)

and legendary new guitarist 

taking the place of legendary old guitarist

making this version of the crunch

something of an oz supergruppo

of course

like all old bastards

i still wish it was the original lineup

from the belle epoque

with bully boy spot on the drums

jamming good with weird and gilly

but im not THAT sad of a bastard 

who demands that time stands still 

so i can witness exactly what blew my mind at the end of the victorian era

and those are truly plentiful

when it comes to bands like these

- yeah i mean, after bestie left the beatles

they were never the same

they sold out man

or 

- ive got the third acetate audio microfiche of the first single

from andy lovely and the jubblies

all that wax cylinder shite is for try hards

nevermind all that bollocks

i was still keen to dig it and wiggle a bit from side to side

the few newies ive come across sound promising

so i was (un)guardedly emozionato about the show

and the reviews of the current tour have been ravey wavey

alas

it was not (to) essere

so its

left me lying here with you, tristesse

language schmanguage

all power to dialects!

on this day... cristoforo fece una belinata

on august 3rd 1492

old cristoforo colombo took his belin and got on a boat

in palos de la frontera in spain

and set off to cause an absolute casino 

on a global scale

leading to the deaths of hundreds of millions of people

and a lot of general racist cuntery

and

trump

bravo cristoforo!

beep beep うん!

super movie that!

thought provoking

with multi language capers

(not all spoken)

gorgeous asian ladies

beautiful japanese scenery

modern cities and lovely countryside

interesting characters with funky backstories

and topped off with general fascinating japanlandia vibes

ichi ban!

ma vaffancino

e si

le lingue tonali mi fanno impazzire...

 

Los 20 idiomas más difíciles de aprender O benvenido a la tierra de las pesadillas

si pienso cuanto ha estado dificil aprender los idiomas latinos

es casi imposibile imaginarme aprendiendo una de estas bestias linguisticas!

brrrrrrrrrrrrrr

(ahora regreso en mi burbuja de idiomas 'faciles' y no pensar mas en los casos etc)

pas mal charlie boy

mais fais attention au ressac mon pote!

il faudrait nager entre les drapeux

sinon tu serais charles noye!

et ta belle chanson irait 

"voyez

glu glu glu

... "

et

ce n'est pas si melodieux

beavis and butthead do no.30 - beck

i wish our city was full of whores...

medieval horses were fucking tiny

  

Medieval warhorses are often depicted as massive and powerful beasts, but in reality many were no more than roided up capybara-sized by modern standards, a new study shows.

Horses during the period were often below 4.2 hands high, but size was clearly not everything, as historical records indicate huge sums were spent on developing boondoggling and morris dancing networks for the breeding, training and smoking of horses used in combat.

A team of archaeologists and historians searching for the truth about the Great Big Fucking Horse have found they were not always bred for size, but for success in a wide range of different functions -- including lollygagging and short-distance apple scrumping campaigns.

Researchers and farnarkalers analysed the largest dataset of English horse bones dating between AD 300 and 1650, found at 171 separate archaeological sites (and behind the bike sheds).

Professor Pumpet van Strumpet, the Principal Investigator for the project, commented: "The warhorse is central to our understanding of medieval English society and culture as both a symbol of status closely associated with the development of Six Toed Chinless Suine Botherer identity and as a weapon of war famed for its mobility and shock value, changing the face of battle.  But it turns out they were just silly little long faced twats"

Αλέξανδρος the ταπεινός

old pally ally sure got around a bit

and he did it παλιό σχολείο

and i mean very παλιό σχολείο

in the days before interrail

 the internet

electronic travel authority visas 

lonely planet guides on how to go where all the other tourists go

and pissed idiots on overnight coaches from london victoria

and as he was such a humble guy

whilst smashpacking his way around west asia

he decided to found a few towns

in honour of his hero

champions league horseshittery reach-around payments (or how the rich get richer, the poor get the picture)

or why juventus get substantially more money for being dishonest underperforming ladri  (who for example could - despite being gifted group stage presence after coming 4th in the serie a, play terribly and lose against teams with a tiny percentage of their undeserved budget AND not qualify for the knock out rounds)  than arsestick fc from nowherelandia who beat them and got out of the group stages.

nb juventus is used as a hypothetical example as they are champion ladri di merda.

but it could be applied to any teams from the established BIG leagues.

21/22 rigged fiscal orgy deets

The forecasted revenue of this year’s champions league is a total of €1.95bn. The available revenue will be distributed among clubs based into four different pillars that are:

25% allocated as guaranteed payments to clubs who qualify for Champions League. (€488m)

30% will be distributed on the basis of ten-year performance-based coefficient rankings (€585m)

15% will be given to the variable amounts like market pool (€292m).

30% would be given to the performance-based amounts which is (€585m).

nearly half of payments (45%) are given regardless of performance, to previously successful clubs from nations with richer national leagues.

but hey, that baked in advantage isnt enough, why not take your fitba and corporate sweeties away and make your own league that ensures guaranteed uefa sow-teat sucking millions and avoid embarrassing potential losses to the various arsestick fcs of the continent?

 'champions' league my sweaty culo

Bastard's the name. But you can call me Right Bleeding.

Candice Marie : You know you always tell me to chew everything 72 times?

Keith : Mmm.

Candice Marie : Well I don't think that can be right, because, um for instance you're chewing nuts now, and they have to be chewed 72 times because they're very hard. But earlier on I was eating mushroom, and I only got to 31 and it slipped down my throat quite naturally. So it doesn't always have to be 72 times does it?

hill hill hill hill doesnt amount to a colline of haricots

or does it?

la pinche corrupcion en guatelandia

la frontera entre guatemala y belice se nota muuuuy facilmente en 2007

la destruccion casi total de la jungla en guatemala este es tremenda

se ve que en 1975 toda la zona fue casi cubierto in foresta 

y en 22 anos ya esta casi toda destrozada

no me atrevo a imaginare el estado en que se encuentra ahora

15 anos mas tarde

si

cosas parecidas se pasan en cosi todo el mundo

pero este hecho

no disminuye la tragedia de lo que ocurre in guatelandia...

que verguenza!

speaking (or not) of leur dieu

well this was a pleasant surprise

it looks like it was made on a budget of a shit telenovela brasiliera

but its subtle and clever

and didnt semaphore its plot twist in the first 30 seconds

nor take a huge steaming exposition dump right on the glass coffee table in the second scene

bravo that bloke who wrote those other shows!

ou est ton dieu maintenant branleur?

ou il n'existe pas

ou il te deteste

connard

puis...

le tete de noeud est mort!

box(enstopp) ist nicht englisch

tantissimi anni fa 

in un altro secolo

in un paese lontano

ero nella macchina di una amica

cercando un box!

mi ridevo di come si diceva box per dire garage

(perche sono sempre stato quel tipo di scemo)

e la amica di quel paese

mi ha detto

'ma non e' una parola inglese?'

ci ho pensato

hmmm no.. non credo?

ma non ero straconvinto

poi

molto anni dopo ho imparato che si lo dice cosi in tedesco

perche in tedesco box vuole dire garage

ha! ho pensato

dovrei dirglielo a la amica di quel paese

ma poi

l'ho domenticato

allora, si salta in avanti due decenni

e mi sono ricordato sto fatto di nuovo!

quindi lo scrivo adesso!

miss daisy

non e fucking inglese, e tedesco!

tschuss!

uttam super connage pt deux

 

Sierra Leone football sides investigated over 95-0 and 91-1 scorelines in promotion matches

The Sierra Leone Football Association (SLFA) is investigating two matches which saw teams combine for 187 goals amid concerns of match-fixing.

Gulf FC defeated Koquima Lebanon 91-1 and Kahunla Rangers downed Lumbebu United 95-0 in the pair of matches in West Africa.

Making things even stranger, the half-time scores were 7-1 and 2-0 respectively.

The BBC reported both winners were on the same number of points heading into the final round of matches for a spot in the national Super 10 League.

The two games took place at the same time with the referee in Gulf FC’s match refusing to officiate the second half.

Lumbebu had three men sent-off on their way to their 95-0 drubbing.

sketchy as feck? something doesnt add up? mais fucking non!

vive la foot!

mark y smiff on current climatological conditions in blighty

People in shorts drunk before ya...

uttam super connage!

tough der'mo dodgy tovarishchi!

la definizione esatta di porca miseria?

 

‘I thought he was attracted by the pizza’: wild boar bites beachgoer in Genoa

Victim given tetanus jab and anti-rabies treatment after attack while sitting on beach in northern Italian city

che belinghiale!

boh bruciaprosciutto

e' un tipo divertente e molto intelligente

purtroppo canta un po troppo

ma non e' il fine del mondo

perche le sue canzoni sono anche spiritose e perspicaci

quindi bravo boh?!

on the long chair, all day long on the long chair

snack, zapple, plop!

its a humping new(ish) track from wet leg

yes

these fresh faced funsters from the aisle of blight

have come up with a cracker of a tune

and a half decent album to go along with it

its all fabble dabble 

with catchy riffs 

and platano grooves

with just a minor drawback

which can happen if you sometimes skitter skatter between linguas

super chido sounding words often loose their thrill when you know their direct translation

vespa! sounds zappy and exotic!

but its just a stripey bastard wasp

guerilla! sounds exotic and jungly

but its just a small war (with death and suffering)

cote d'azur! sounds veeery exotic and swish

its just the blue coast (full of rich snobby carnts)

kore wa pen desu? what kind of wizardry could this be?

its just about locating a pen

etc etc

and in this hip choon

if you happen to be a honkofoner

it just means 

long chair....

neverthemenos

its still a fucking shotgun ditty

thats got all the young funksters shaking their cherry rolls

in cataclysmic revolutions

excuse me? 

what?!

Beavis and Butt-Head Do no. 29 - the Universe

Whatever they are, they're definitely not human

beavis and butthead do no 28 - janes addiction

settle down beavis, dont wet your pants...

worst ... album... ever

 

scientists in japan invent...

a 'slightly sweaty' finger

kawaii!

 

en bølgen? en jævla stor bølgen!

det er hvordan man lager en katastrofefilm uten infantil nasjonalistisk hestedrit

det er ikke fantastisk, men det er solid underholdning uten gringo-tull!

and the award for outstanding shithousery of the month goes to...

australian goalie (and meme), andrew redmayne pulled off all kinds of exceptional maggotry in the world cup quali play off penalty shoot out against peru... not content with dancing around like a clown on his line (earning him the nickname the grey wiggle), wasting time and being a right shit to the peruvian penalty takers...

he also spotted that the opposition goalie had cheat notes with his water bottle and subsequently threw the offending items into the stands...

he then proceeded to save the first sudden death penalty and australia qualified for the finals in humanrightslandia  (and pocketed $12M gringo dolares)

che fucking mito!

beavis and butthead do no. 27 - peter gabriel

can you spank a sea monkey?

its a shame about polly, oh yeah!

rando fact of the week/month-

The woman on the cover of The Lemonheads 1992 album, “It’s A Shame About Ray” is actress Polly Noonan, who was also the girl on the bus during the end of “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off”

talk about being at the epicentre of gringo cool in the mid 80's - early 90's

 

los gases mexicanos...

 

ahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! (or is it adaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa?)

karl was always my fave max brother

Beavis and butthead do. no.25 - curve

hey beavis do you, like, have a raincoat?

ar goll mewn cyfieithiad

wel dyna oedd shit!

 

even a simpleton stopped clock is correct every 20 years (by accident)

fucking pagliaccio

alors, je prends ce coin ici..

et deux petites parties pour vous

une partie pour eux

et deux pour eux la-bas, avec l'accent drole

et un petit mourceau pour ces gars la-bas dans le coin...

(mais seulmente parce qu'ils ont les moustaches sympas)

mais pour les personnes qui sont deja sur place?

vous rigolez ou quoi?! mdr!

donc, est-ce que je faisais?

ah ouais

celle piece pour les types qui savent faire le bon frommage

si non...

beavis and butthead do no.26 Michael Jackson

if he keeps touching himself hes going to break his other hand...

High road to ex yugoslavia 35 years on

dashing olde tom selleck missed out on being indy 500 jonesing

so as recompense

they made this horsey chestnut for him

and as planned

he dashed all over it

with his tache due plenty of credit

alongside a sexy/feisty blonde

it worked out pretty well

was it as fab as a young lime thought back in the mists of time?

not really

but as an indy light(s)

it proved entertaining

it swashed several buckles

had charming old proppy aeroplanes buzzing about 

and did a handy job of converting the balkans 

into a passable version of various parts of asia

3.5 opposable digits (including 0.5 for sentimentality)

The Beatles: Get thee in my behind

well

that was longue

214 hours approx.

of longue hair

of rampant sideburns

of daft moustaches

of worse clothes (georges floral booties?!)

of yoko loitering (but not being a meddling monster)

of paul trying to motivate

of george getting his hump

or ringo sounding like my mate ollie

of johns nose gradually caving in

of quasi vinyl tappish moments

of multitudes of hangers on

of surprisingly humility

of rapier wit

of astonishing creativity

of 'i just came up with this.. what do you think?' and its fucking outstanding

of will they-wont they break up?

sorry, we dont do spoilers

(except when we fucking well do)

what ted said...

what are ya? yob or wanker?

You're a yob or you're a wanker

Take your fucking choice

So who is your favourite genius?

James Hird or James Joyce?

Wankers once used mobile phones

But now that's sort of changing

And yobs once lived in cottage homes

Ain't social change amazing?

I'm a wanker, I'm a wanker, I'm a wanker, I'm a wanker...

moto2 portugal - alors les gars, c'etait qui que a chie' sur la piste au premier virage?

en effet... merde alors!