Thursday, July 31, 2025

5, 4, 3, 2, 1... shit off!



 

'art for arts sake is dead, if it ever lived' - edward steichen


Monday, July 28, 2025

robofitba





or should that be shitba?


Friday, July 25, 2025

word of the weak - gobemouche





gobemouche - a credulous person; especially : one who believes everything he or she hears.

eg. as words here cost nothing, the gulping gobemouche is plentifully supplied.
 


now go find a stupid fucker and scream gobemouche in their face.



Monday, July 21, 2025

mulletashageddon




fashion is quite possibly the daftest invention of humanity
apart from perhaps the evangelical church
which is spreading ignorance around the planet
like some kind of contagious bullshit virus

i recall reading somewhere, sometime the cliche that fashion is cylical
ie, it gets about on wheeled devices
but
as fashion is fucking moronic
i didnt give a flightless shit
then
not that long ago i had an epiphany
(waves hands violently behind rear)
that it wasnt even lying!


young blokes are once again adorning their cretinous faces with hairy upper lips UNIRONICALLY


great abominable success!

 

whats more
but they were also 'sporting' mullets UNIRONICALLY



you know the deal,
business at the front, party at the back
the ugliest 'do' to ever disgrace the male head







combine these and you have nothing less apocalyptic than mulletashageddon! aka The Fosters Car Park Boogie



and as mister alighieri once scribbled re TFCPB, "Lasciate ogne speranza, voi ch'intrate"



Wednesday, July 16, 2025

20 years of unalloyed horseshit

 

its limebeavers spectacularly pointless horseshit blog!




nb. the above image may be a shoddy rip off of the now legendary original limited edition frontispiece of limebeavers spectacularly pointless horseshit blog



It was twenty years ago today

limebeaver got out the keyboard to play

It hasnt ever been in style

And its doubtful to raise a smile

So may I introduce to you

The blog you've dodged for all these years?

limebeavers spectacularly pointless horseshit blog


Its limebeavers spectacularly pointless horseshit blog

We hope you can abide the show

Its limebeavers spectacularly pointless horseshit blog

Sit back and let the drivel flow

Limebeavers spectacularly, Limebeavers spectacularly

limebeavers spectacularly pointless horseshit blog


It's redundant that it was ever here

And it is certainly a bore

You're a non existent audience

We'd like to take you home with us

We'd love to take you home (ooh err)


I really should give up the show

But the horseshit just wont slow

The buffoons going to get something wrong

And he wants you all to nod along

So let me introduce to you

The one and only rigoberto botafogo

And limebeavers spectacularly pointless horseshit blog

yeah



Sunday, July 13, 2025

Blackadder vs. Shakespeare




Despite having 'all the greats' and involving time travel, Blackadder Back and Forth was quite the let down after the preceding genius. I never quite made it to the milleniumtastic cheeseburger dome, but with the internet of things making most of those things widely available, it became findable.  It wasnt up to the previous stratospheric standards (pretty pants S1 aside) but did indeed have moments of genius.


Up your arse to your tortured artistic hell!


Friday, July 11, 2025

Claudia Sheinbaum asegura que analizarán...


... contaminación e impactos de la caída del cohete por Space X







Caída de cohete en costas de Tamaulipas




yo tambien!




primera etapa de cohete que se cayo' en mi parte particular del planeta



sinverguenzas!





 

Wednesday, July 09, 2025

word of the weak - threnody



 

A threnody is a wailing ode, song, hymn or poem of mourning composed or performed as a memorial to a dead person.

osea- guaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!


Monday, July 07, 2025

Vor Frelsers Kirke i København





now ive seen more churches than you can point a church pointing stick at

new churches

old churches

ex churches

converted churches


romanesque churches

gothic churches

byzantine churches

baroque churches

churches filled with amazing, staggering, astounding art

nasty american mega churches


basilicas

duomos

cathedrals

dinky african converted sheds


aside from the above mentioned amazing, staggering, astounding art

the best bit of churches

are the views from up above

from the gorgeous red roofs seen from the Cattedrale di Santa Maria del Fiore of firenze

the beautiful spread from the Cattedrale Metropolitana della Natività della Beata Vergine Maria of milan

the history bathing from Basilica di San Pietro in rome

the lake view from the Iglesia de la Merced in granada (nica)

the lush green countryside to be seen from atop the Cathedral Church of the Blessed Virgin Mary in  salisbury

from the hilltop Notre-Dame de la Garde high above marseille

the glorious panorama from the Sacre Coeur de Montmartre in paris


but the coolest is from the Vor Frelsers Kirke in copenhagen

the view is magnificent

but beauty is in the ascent

after working your way up the inside of the tower

you pop out into daylight 

then you wind around the exterior of the ever thinning spire

clinging to the rail

trying not to look down 

in case your head spins too fast

at the giddy top of 67 metres

when you dare take in the spectacle

(if you get there)

below you unfolds the royal palace 

the rosenborg castle

the canals and the variegated houses beside them

the characteristic architecture and suprisingly generous green splashes of nature


and if you peer very hard

you may be able to spy down into kristiania... 






Friday, July 04, 2025

The Pig, the Snake, the Pigeon and the Putonghua




mientres que se habla de barbaro!
(en ambos sentidos)



Wednesday, July 02, 2025

Monday, June 30, 2025

word of the weak - allodoxaphobia



Allodoxaphobia is the fear of hearing other people’s opinions. The word Allodoxaphobia comes from Greek ‘allo’ meaning different, ‘dox’ meaning opinion and ‘phobos’ which comes from the Greek God of fear.


limebeavers language in use time (LLIUT) -

eg. shut the fuck up with your bad vibes man or you'll trigger my allodoxaphobia and i will shit my AND your pants



Saturday, June 28, 2025

que barbaro que era mi castellano!



mi espanol en 2011
 

bárbaro, ra

adj. y s. De cualquiera de los grupos de pueblos que en el siglo v invadieron el Imperio romano y se extendieron por la mayor parte de Europa, o relativo a ellos.

Violento, cruel:

eres un bárbaro, no trates así al perro.

Grosero, que no tiene educación:

me cambié de trabajo porque tenía un jefe que era un bárbaro.

Bruto, imprudente:

no seas bárbaro y conduce más despacio.

(adj. col. Estupendo, extraordinario:

una cena bárbara, un muchacho bárbaro.)


mi primera visita a caracas era en 2007 y esta era despues de solo unos meses de estudiar el idioma

ya sabia el italiano entonces podia entender y comunica un poco

y dije a mi madre del otro planeta que un dia le hubiera hablado en un castellano super bueno

a ver!


regrese en 2010 y mi espanol era mucho mejor!

(despues de mas estudios y de haber pasado un mes en america latina, viajanda al sur desde el yucatan)

pude defenderme bastante bien

pero mi nivel no era para nada fluido!

 

en 2011 regrese de nuevo

despues de mucho estudio y yo tenia muchas ganas de presumirme a simona cuanto era mejorado mi castellano

cuando llegue, hablaba super bien!

(al menos lo creia)

y dije a simona

que tal esta mi castellano? 

todo orgulloso


y simona me dijo que mi castellano era 'barbaro'!

con una grande sonrisa

entendi solo el significado literal

(mira arriba)


me quede confundido y decepcionado

pero no dije nada

la vida y el viaje se continuaba...

y me lo olvide


solo unos meses despues

en el otro lado del mundo

pregunte a otra amiga hispanohablante

y

aprendi que barbaro puede significa chevere!


que vergacion!



Tuesday, June 24, 2025

cuantas pirañas?




Una vez fui a pescar pirañas
en los llanos
aquellas cheveres
no aquellas bacanos
y atrape una
despues nos comimos nuestra pirañas
(no eran riquisimas)
y me quedé con el cráneo como recuerdo y lo ingresé ilegalmente a mi país!




hay tantas pirañas
cuidado con las pirañas...


Sunday, June 22, 2025

TITANOTWAT: The OceanGate Submersible Disaster




rich arrogant entitled twat overestimates his own cleverness
inevitably fucks up
kills himself
and some other rich twats
(a part le pauvre expert francais) 
quelle fucking surprise!



Friday, June 20, 2025

te gustan las sandias?





¿Cómo te gustaría una en la cara, a alta velocidad?




Monday, June 16, 2025

WHO KILLED THE KLF?




banging about in the tardis
3am in fuckityarse nowhere
the last tram to limbo central
etre justifie ET ancien
referencing traditional polynesian kit
burning a million squid (with no lemon juice!)

its a hell of a ride

short answer
the klf dunnit!


Saturday, June 14, 2025

Hindi and Urdu - THE SAME LANGUAGE?




haan!
 
next...


Thursday, June 12, 2025

word of the weak - encomium




An encomium is a formal expression of high praise or admiration for a person or thing. It often conveys warmth and enthusiasm in its commendation.

now go and give your mummy a good hard dose of encomium.



Tuesday, June 10, 2025

as we enter the 239th week...

 



the john hopkins university dashboard has given up hope and committed seppuku

with some kind of super whetted digital wakizashi

and slumped the virtual ground gasping for binary breath until expiring


but covid lives on...



I find covid's attention seeking pandemic based twattery even more annoying than weeks one to two hundred and thirty eight...