who's your favourite pavel?

1) pavel pogrebnyak



















2) pavel nedved

















3) pavel ploc









or do you have your own favourite pavel?

VOTE VOTE VOTE!!!
NOW NOW NOW!!!

voting is open until closing and votes are charged at a very reasonable $14.00 each.

unfinished barrel business

life is a barrel of monkeys
a nice royal blue one
with fake wood effects on the exterior
but not the interior
small let downs sometimes hurt the most
unscrew the top
clock or anti clock wizened
its up to you
they both work
and inside!!!!
a plethora of monkeys
a little on the flat side
but who gives a toss?
they have stamped faces, arms and feetsies
theres a red one
theres a blue one
theres another blue one
theres a yellow one
theres a red one
theres another yellow one
and a blue one
whats This?!!!
ABOMINATION!
a green one???!!!
oh sorry it was just the light refracting erroneously
its blue as blue can be
and thats pretty blue
if you like they can hook arms
so you can make a monkey chain
not a daisy chain
twat!
you can make a little monkey chain
or a big fuck off monkey chain
liberty of choice is a marvellous thing
decades of wholesome existential chain fun with a barrel of monkeys
your life that is
brought to you by the non existent folk at God's Everything Is Lovely Family Toy inc.
unless you god the crap version
a toilet of monkeys...

nauru; a crap island

no really, it is... here they are digging it up to sell it to buffoons

diamond geezer

alright guvna, got a new motor? cackle, cackle...

it's all relative

IT is all relative
but to whom?
brothers or hermanas?
cugini or uncles?
fils or abuelos?
genitori or nipoti?
or just that second cousin twice removed that nobody wants to talk about?
you know the one
you have one
everybody has one
in particular royalty has hordes of 'em
the one that was locked up in top room of the tower
the biggest tower
with the darkest, windingest and ricketiest staircase
the one that if you asked about
you got shushed into an undignified silence
and great aunt bertrice came over all queer and had to go powder her nose
the tv presenters deranged half brother
the pop singers cow bothering father
the sports stars sister that ate all the pies
and then threw them up on direct, live, streaming and podcast interglobal tv
the poor wan child who
try as he might just couldnt jump the whole puddle
let down his parents and got muddy water splashed all over his knee high socks
or maybe IT is you?

Les truly is more

he's a rager not a fighter baby...

Belin! From the ridiculous to the sublime

Do you want some ruffle with that?
Ritratto di Brigida Spinola Doria by Pieter Paul Rubens, Genova 1606...
(click on it to make it bigger and prettier)

jar of shite!

and you thought vegemite, promite and marmite were crap?
come and see the real thing! (ooh mau mau)

i will have that hour back thanks

step 1. try to get respectable fully knowing that entrance to bunghole bar could be problematic
step 2. achieve relative respectability
step 3. head of to tram stop in suddenly torrential rain
step 4. wait for fucking ever for crap tram service
step 5. get cranky about waiting and consider chucking it all in
step 6. tram shows and simple trip to toon
step 7. alight tram, tend to fundage necessities
step 8. approach bunghole bar with trepidation
step 9. pretentious arsehole does the up and down looking and make up crap excuse for refusal
step 10. express disbelief at pretentious arseholes threadbare excuse
step 11. realise debating is pointless and depart hoping to have some dignity intact
step 12. consider going for a pint at nearby public house
step 13. plump for tram stop
step 14. play the crap tram waiting game again
step 15. fume over pretentiousness of arseholes and pronto location choice
step 16. tram back again
step 17. go to local paper shop for consolatory beers
step 18. ahhh thats better..
step 19. WANKERS!
step 20. repeat steps 19 & 20 ad nauseum

beer tips for vampires

one ahahahahah: drink your beer in the dark-its better for you
two ahahahahah: you need not use your fangs to open beer-there are twist tops now
three ahahahaha: drink Bloody Brand Beer-must i explain?
four ahahahahah: long necks are highly desirable-more nape
five ahahahahaah: light beer is for lightweight vampires-what are you a bloodsucking monster or a bloodsucking mouse?
six ahahahahaha: when you do a number two in the pub bogs, dont tuck your cape into your smalls-very uncool
seven ahahahaha: using your coffin for an esky may seem clever, but will you sleep in the bath?
eight ahahahahah: when hungover, stick to bloody marys-you just have to find where they live
nine ahahahahah: exotic beers with chili are okay-ones with garlic are not
ten ahahahahaha: do not get pissed and fall asleep on the lawn-unless you have a death wish

heres looking virtually at you G Man

footballs coming home...

limping bald people in westminster

loads of them
wearing dark suits
how do i know this?
coz i sat by the window on the first floor
and watched them limping baldly
to and from st james park tube
instead of working hard for my 4 squid an hour
you pay peanuts
you get allergies

and then my rectum didnt prolapse

pre christmas 1996
george and i head to the outskirts of swansea to sort out a hire car
george had hired a car from this mechanic bloke before
probably the van we went in to alton towers for his birthday
it all seemed okay
all the fackin stewwdents buggered off to see their fams for xmas
i came solo polo mint back to pick it up on the 29th
it seemed rather flash to me
a volvo estate
with a seat warmer in the driver seat!
i motored off feeling very grown up
got on the end of the m4
and zoomed past port talbert and the sin factory
past the phony castle
past cardydd and newport and over the severn on the rather new big bridge
i didnt see richey from the manic street preachers
past bristol and turned off for bath
from bath i headed for the wild woods of colerne
(where i imagine mr lydon had his binoculars on top of box hill)
to dear catherines parents house
we went for a bit of a spin around
and then we went flying over some traffic humps
she introduced me to zovirax
i stayed the night there and in the morning we set off
picking up george, ems, grim, cym from bristol station
(scene of young ones filming)
where they converged from their various family abodes
and we zoomed north on the m5
we stopped at a services somewhere
got some petrol and some munch
catherine didn't discover porn mags all over the carpark
perhaps an hour or so later i noticed that we needed petrol again
thirsty seat warmers!
so we pulled off the motorway short of gloucester and went to a petrol station
where somebody discovered a happy trail behind us
we got a mechanic to look at it
and he said it was big trub, would take a few days to fix
there was a hole in the botswana and it had been a bodgy fix
which was a fucking disaster because today was the 30th!
from a phone booth we rang the geezer in swansea
who was most uncooperative and wanted us to wait while he came to look at it!
after he talked to the mechanic he sulkingly agreed that he would pay for us to get a hire car in gloucester
so we took our super comfy estate car drippingly into gloucester to europcar
they had a car that suited our needs but it was pricey
so from the office we called welsh prick again
i tell him the price and he gets cranky and says its too much
being crap i ummed and erred and didnt know what to do
thankfully catherine took the phone and kicked his arse into next week
and before you knew it he was giving his credit card details to the europcar chick
we got a nice modern reddish car
and scorched off ever northwards to be in edinburgh that night for hogmanaying
as lovely warm seated volvo sat forlornly in the europcar carpark for dodgy swansea mechanic to come pick it up....

the wrong trousers

isn't islam great!!!


'Indecent trousers': Sudanese woman spared flogging, jailed
September 8, 2009 - 4:59PM


Sudanese journalist Lubna Ahmed al-Hussein has been sent to jail after she refused to pay a fine imposed for wearing trousers deemed "indecent", one of her lawyers says.

"She has been taken to the women's prison in Omdurman [the twin city of Khartoum]," Kamal Omar said on Monday.

Earlier in the day, a Khartoum court spared Ms Hussein a whipping but instead fined her 500 Sudanese pounds ($235).
Sudanese journalist and UN staffer Lubna Hussein, wearing the same trousers that had sparked her arrest, is seen outside the court where she was convicted of violating the public indecency law by wearing trousers outdoors and fined US$200, in Khartoum, Sudan.

"I won't pay. I'd rather go to prison," she told AFP by telephone before she was taken to jail, though her lawyers said they would try to persuade her to pay.

Speaking as they emerged from the court hearing, which was barred to the press, witnesses said the court had ruled that Ms Hussein be jailed for a month if she failed to pay the fine.

Under Sudanese law, she could have been sentenced to a maximum of 40 lashes for "indecency" under Islamic principles after being arrested with 12 other women wearing trousers in a Khartoum restaurant in July.

Women in trousers are not a rare sight in Sudan but the authorities can take offence at trousers that reveal too much of a woman's shape, leading to accusations from human rights groups that judgment is arbitrary.

Ten of the women arrested on the indecent dress charge, including Christians, were subsequently summoned by the police and each given 10 lashes.

Ms Hussein could have suffered a similar punishment, but instead she challenged the charge and began a publicity campaign to try to have the law changed.

AFP

im sure

im sure there are americans that arent gun toting religious buttholes
im sure there are worldly chinese
im sure there are tall thais
im sure there are emo bands that arent shit
im sure there are conservative politicians that arent cunts
im sure there are dogs that dont chase their tails
im sure nige has a hair left on his head somewhere
im sure not all religious people are ignorant fuckwits
im sure all take away food isnt completely without nutrients
im sure the programmers for commercial tv channels arent all contemptuous morons
im sure leon is getting larger
im sure the nips are are getting bigger
im sure george will answer my email one day
im sure all israelis arent dirty, racist, land-thieving pricks
im sure aliens arent all green
im sure that doesnt taste as good as it looks
im sure not every arab man is sexist backward eejiot
im sure i will recall all the particulars of all the grammar of 3 languages
im sure there is intelligent life in the suburbs
im sure socrates banged on a lot
im sure there is beauty in the german language
im sure those ecuadorian fuckwits had a redeeming feature between them
im sure theres a point here somewhere...

noel and liams downfall...

thanks to Mr Fisher...

got nothing to say?

write a blog...

george cantstandya

you know who really sucks arse?
the bottom of the barrel?
the scum of the earth?
the etcetera of the etcetera?
yes
its salesmen
or salespersons or whatever the hell they are called in a politically correct millenium
their whole reason to be (or raison détre or something) is to fuck you over
they earn their living by fucking people over
the more they fuck you over
the more targets they hit
the more bullshit they speak
the more they scam anybody and everybody
the more money they make
so they are ultra motivated to scam, bullshit and fuck over as many people as possible!
what is that these people contribute to society?
fucking nothing!
FUCK OFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ma, lo porto ancora?

hidden treasures-tupac amaru's gold or a couple of random comments?

i've recently been finding comments on old blog postings
there are several pearls of wisdom
and then there are your comments (boom boom!)
of which i knew nothing
getting comments is brilliant
and quite the rarity
as i am incoherent most of the time
I have no idea when comments show up
this devilish machine doesn't notify me
so if you leave a comment
i may discover it at some point
and when i do
i will be immensely grateful
and devastatingly handsome