Beavis and Butthead do no.31- shaggy

- what is this, this accent hes talking?

- dumbass, its foreign

¡Viva la República de Cangurolandia!

stonking gig thatll be

 

but no

it wont

not for me anyway

ive been waiting for this gig for years

had my tix sitting in my inbox for months

new songs from new album to flog

new lineup to smash it

(with two drummers!)

and legendary new guitarist 

taking the place of legendary old guitarist

making this version of the crunch

something of an oz supergruppo

of course

like all old bastards

i still wish it was the original lineup

from the belle epoque

with bully boy spot on the drums

jamming good with weird and gilly

but im not THAT sad of a bastard 

who demands that time stands still 

so i can witness exactly what blew my mind at the end of the victorian era

and those are truly plentiful

when it comes to bands like these

- yeah i mean, after bestie left the beatles

they were never the same

they sold out man

or 

- ive got the third acetate audio microfiche of the first single

from andy lovely and the jubblies

all that wax cylinder shite is for try hards

nevermind all that bollocks

i was still keen to dig it and wiggle a bit from side to side

the few newies ive come across sound promising

so i was (un)guardedly emozionato about the show

and the reviews of the current tour have been ravey wavey

alas

it was not (to) essere

so its

left me lying here with you, tristesse

language schmanguage

all power to dialects!

on this day... cristoforo fece una belinata

on august 3rd 1492

old cristoforo colombo took his belin and got on a boat

in palos de la frontera in spain

and set off to cause an absolute casino 

on a global scale

leading to the deaths of hundreds of millions of people

and a lot of general racist cuntery

and

trump

bravo cristoforo!

beep beep うん!

super movie that!

thought provoking

with multi language capers

(not all spoken)

gorgeous asian ladies

beautiful japanese scenery

modern cities and lovely countryside

interesting characters with funky backstories

and topped off with general fascinating japanlandia vibes

ichi ban!

ma vaffancino

e si

le lingue tonali mi fanno impazzire...

 

Los 20 idiomas más difíciles de aprender O benvenido a la tierra de las pesadillas

si pienso cuanto ha estado dificil aprender los idiomas latinos

es casi imposibile imaginarme aprendiendo una de estas bestias linguisticas!

brrrrrrrrrrrrrr

(ahora regreso en mi burbuja de idiomas 'faciles' y no pensar mas en los casos etc)

pas mal charlie boy

mais fais attention au ressac mon pote!

il faudrait nager entre les drapeux

sinon tu serais charles noye!

et ta belle chanson irait 

"voyez

glu glu glu

... "

et

ce n'est pas si melodieux

beavis and butthead do no.30 - beck

i wish our city was full of whores...

medieval horses were fucking tiny

  

Medieval warhorses are often depicted as massive and powerful beasts, but in reality many were no more than roided up capybara-sized by modern standards, a new study shows.

Horses during the period were often below 4.2 hands high, but size was clearly not everything, as historical records indicate huge sums were spent on developing boondoggling and morris dancing networks for the breeding, training and smoking of horses used in combat.

A team of archaeologists and historians searching for the truth about the Great Big Fucking Horse have found they were not always bred for size, but for success in a wide range of different functions -- including lollygagging and short-distance apple scrumping campaigns.

Researchers and farnarkalers analysed the largest dataset of English horse bones dating between AD 300 and 1650, found at 171 separate archaeological sites (and behind the bike sheds).

Professor Pumpet van Strumpet, the Principal Investigator for the project, commented: "The warhorse is central to our understanding of medieval English society and culture as both a symbol of status closely associated with the development of Six Toed Chinless Suine Botherer identity and as a weapon of war famed for its mobility and shock value, changing the face of battle.  But it turns out they were just silly little long faced twats"

Αλέξανδρος the ταπεινός

old pally ally sure got around a bit

and he did it παλιό σχολείο

and i mean very παλιό σχολείο

in the days before interrail

 the internet

electronic travel authority visas 

lonely planet guides on how to go where all the other tourists go

and pissed idiots on overnight coaches from london victoria

and as he was such a humble guy

whilst smashpacking his way around west asia

he decided to found a few towns

in honour of his hero

champions league horseshittery reach-around payments (or how the rich get richer, the poor get the picture)

or why juventus get substantially more money for being dishonest underperforming ladri  (who for example could - despite being gifted group stage presence after coming 4th in the serie a, play terribly and lose against teams with a tiny percentage of their undeserved budget AND not qualify for the knock out rounds)  than arsestick fc from nowherelandia who beat them and got out of the group stages.

nb juventus is used as a hypothetical example as they are champion ladri di merda.

but it could be applied to any teams from the established BIG leagues.

21/22 rigged fiscal orgy deets

The forecasted revenue of this year’s champions league is a total of €1.95bn. The available revenue will be distributed among clubs based into four different pillars that are:

25% allocated as guaranteed payments to clubs who qualify for Champions League. (€488m)

30% will be distributed on the basis of ten-year performance-based coefficient rankings (€585m)

15% will be given to the variable amounts like market pool (€292m).

30% would be given to the performance-based amounts which is (€585m).

nearly half of payments (45%) are given regardless of performance, to previously successful clubs from nations with richer national leagues.

but hey, that baked in advantage isnt enough, why not take your fitba and corporate sweeties away and make your own league that ensures guaranteed uefa sow-teat sucking millions and avoid embarrassing potential losses to the various arsestick fcs of the continent?

 'champions' league my sweaty culo

Bastard's the name. But you can call me Right Bleeding.

Candice Marie : You know you always tell me to chew everything 72 times?

Keith : Mmm.

Candice Marie : Well I don't think that can be right, because, um for instance you're chewing nuts now, and they have to be chewed 72 times because they're very hard. But earlier on I was eating mushroom, and I only got to 31 and it slipped down my throat quite naturally. So it doesn't always have to be 72 times does it?

hill hill hill hill doesnt amount to a colline of haricots

or does it?

la pinche corrupcion en guatelandia

la frontera entre guatemala y belice se nota muuuuy facilmente en 2007

la destruccion casi total de la jungla en guatemala este es tremenda

se ve que en 1975 toda la zona fue casi cubierto in foresta 

y en 22 anos ya esta casi toda destrozada

no me atrevo a imaginare el estado en que se encuentra ahora

15 anos mas tarde

si

cosas parecidas se pasan en cosi todo el mundo

pero este hecho

no disminuye la tragedia de lo que ocurre in guatelandia...

que verguenza!

speaking (or not) of leur dieu

well this was a pleasant surprise

it looks like it was made on a budget of a shit telenovela brasiliera

but its subtle and clever

and didnt semaphore its plot twist in the first 30 seconds

nor take a huge steaming exposition dump right on the glass coffee table in the second scene

bravo that bloke who wrote those other shows!

ou est ton dieu maintenant branleur?

ou il n'existe pas

ou il te deteste

connard

puis...

le tete de noeud est mort!

box(enstopp) ist nicht englisch

tantissimi anni fa 

in un altro secolo

in un paese lontano

ero nella macchina di una amica

cercando un box!

mi ridevo di come si diceva box per dire garage

(perche sono sempre stato quel tipo di scemo)

e la amica di quel paese

mi ha detto

'ma non e' una parola inglese?'

ci ho pensato

hmmm no.. non credo?

ma non ero straconvinto

poi

molto anni dopo ho imparato che si lo dice cosi in tedesco

perche in tedesco box vuole dire garage

ha! ho pensato

dovrei dirglielo a la amica di quel paese

ma poi

l'ho domenticato

allora, si salta in avanti due decenni

e mi sono ricordato sto fatto di nuovo!

quindi lo scrivo adesso!

miss daisy

non e fucking inglese, e tedesco!

tschuss!

uttam super connage pt deux

 

Sierra Leone football sides investigated over 95-0 and 91-1 scorelines in promotion matches

The Sierra Leone Football Association (SLFA) is investigating two matches which saw teams combine for 187 goals amid concerns of match-fixing.

Gulf FC defeated Koquima Lebanon 91-1 and Kahunla Rangers downed Lumbebu United 95-0 in the pair of matches in West Africa.

Making things even stranger, the half-time scores were 7-1 and 2-0 respectively.

The BBC reported both winners were on the same number of points heading into the final round of matches for a spot in the national Super 10 League.

The two games took place at the same time with the referee in Gulf FC’s match refusing to officiate the second half.

Lumbebu had three men sent-off on their way to their 95-0 drubbing.

sketchy as feck? something doesnt add up? mais fucking non!

vive la foot!