High road to ex yugoslavia 35 years on

dashing olde tom selleck missed out on being indy 500 jonesing

so as recompense

they made this horsey chestnut for him

and as planned

he dashed all over it

with his tache due plenty of credit

alongside a sexy/feisty blonde

it worked out pretty well

was it as fab as a young lime thought back in the mists of time?

not really

but as an indy light(s)

it proved entertaining

it swashed several buckles

had charming old proppy aeroplanes buzzing about 

and did a handy job of converting the balkans 

into a passable version of various parts of asia

3.5 opposable digits (including 0.5 for sentimentality)

The Beatles: Get thee in my behind

well

that was longue

214 hours approx.

of longue hair

of rampant sideburns

of daft moustaches

of worse clothes (georges floral booties?!)

of yoko loitering (but not being a meddling monster)

of paul trying to motivate

of george getting his hump

or ringo sounding like my mate ollie

of johns nose gradually caving in

of quasi vinyl tappish moments

of multitudes of hangers on

of surprisingly humility

of rapier wit

of astonishing creativity

of 'i just came up with this.. what do you think?' and its fucking outstanding

of will they-wont they break up?

sorry, we dont do spoilers

(except when we fucking well do)

what ted said...

what are ya? yob or wanker?

You're a yob or you're a wanker

Take your fucking choice

So who is your favourite genius?

James Hird or James Joyce?

Wankers once used mobile phones

But now that's sort of changing

And yobs once lived in cottage homes

Ain't social change amazing?

I'm a wanker, I'm a wanker, I'm a wanker, I'm a wanker...

moto2 portugal - alors les gars, c'etait qui que a chie' sur la piste au premier virage?

en effet... merde alors!

il mondo e fucking fottuto ex.1

 brian henry hooper is gone

he was a legend in his own right

with several quality solo albums

AND he played in the legendary beasts of bourbon and the almost equally legendary surrealists with kim salmon plus charlie marshall and body electric and more

but because we live in a world of barbarian heathens

that plough state cash into casinos, developers and other mindless corporate wank

he had to suffer the indignation 

of working in the soul destroying sweat shop entities called call centres

a perverse universe of dehumanising capitalist toss speak of first world consumerism

fuck them and fuck you

beavis and butthead do no. 24 - grant lee buffalo

is this another video with big muppets?

this is not a taladro

 

and its not a martillo either

this ridiculous gringa has the worlds smallest waist

38.1 centimetres

thatd be 18 bloits and 7 beard seconds to her

she achieved this by shoving her cloaca up her oesophagus 

stapling her mesentery to her septum

and having three cecums implanted in her adenoids

và đó là lý do tại sao...

 

đừng gây rối với người Việt Nam!

es como los ultimos 400 anos no pasaron

un conde espanol se caso con la hija de un politico rico y famoso peruano

asi se festejaron su boda

y creian que fuera una buena idea de tener actores indigenas actuar como esclavos

incas

las mujeres lanzaron flores abajo de los piedes de la pareja

y los hombres danzaron encadenados

que fucking class!

por que no los han dado unas patadas a las mujeres indigenas mientres las pasaron?

que sinverguenzas!

vale mr bailey, maybe you werent such a tosser

many moons ago

i saw chris bailey solo

supporting the spectacular johnette napolitano

i was pretty excited about the gig

johnette is a fucking legend

making staggeringly good music with concrete blonde

and then plenty of quality solo albums

and chris bailey was the lead singer of the fucking saints!

sure i hadnt heard much of the later saints stuff

since the mind blowing early punk stuff with the original band

including godlike ed kuepper

but the saints were a big fucking deal

releasing punk records before the sex pistols 

and the same year as the ramones

sadly 

as they didnt come from engerland or murica

they didnt get the credit they deserved

they came from backwards sweaty police state of queensland ostraya

but they were punks from the start

so i was pretty excited to see chris bailey too

unfortunately

he came on stage and wanked on about how cool he was

about how cultured he was

how nobody in the crowd could possibly understand his 'oh so sophisticated ouevre'

he was an obnoxious pompous arse

which further highlighted by johnette

who was graceful, humble and gorgeously self deprecating

the thing is 

he might well have been correct

what he achieved was truly significant

and under appreciated in much of the world

but there no was need to be a twat about it!

i was solidly convaincu

chris bailey equals tosser!

cmq

after his recent death

i heard a long form interview with him

on the radio baby

and he was eloquent, funny and barely up his own back passage

(considering his considerable role in music history)

now hes gone

and another long held certainty is gone with him

buona pasqua del cazzo

quali sono i tuoi fiabe dell'orrore?

i miei sono quali tedeschi raggruppato dai fratelli grimm

e non quelli sanificati

 del fucking disney

pero, anche quelli assurdi dei cristiani sono ben sanguinosi

ed igualmente incredibili...

 

Beavis & Butthead do no. 23 - dr dre

you know um, my mum used to say, um, it doesnt matter what colour your skin is, its um, its like, its what colour your skin is on the inside that counts...

the estimable ms roy ji speaketh desi trutheth

intercommunal disturbance?

far more like part of a long term plan of demonisation of a minority by people in positions of power

stick your hindutva in your culo

las palabras fuertes

viva el pueblo nica!

spot the younger drya(d)s

ποιος εγω?

Beavis and butthead do no. 22 - Soundgarden

So like, a black hole is like, this giant bunghole in outer space. It's like, it sucks up the whole universe, and then it's like, it grinds it up and sends it all to Hell or something.

when laser gets in your eyes...

 

no

mo salah wasnt transmogrifying into a super funky space alien before his decisive penalty in the world cup qualifier playoff between senegal and egypt

he was being pointed at by "lasers"

by unethical scumbags in the crowd

and

he missed the penalty

and

senegal are going to the finals in catarrh (Human Rights R Us (patent pending))

and

egypt arent

of course its hardly new that locals perform acts of outstanding shithousery towards visiting teams for important games

looking at you mi queridos latamos

and

it probably didnt cause him to miss

BUT 

its disgraceful and unsporting 

so

fucking stop it you gran hijos de putas varias!

vlads gigantic table

 

whats up vladster, worried someone might put something in your tea?

still, a good name that for a quirky band... vlads gigantic table

beavis and butthead do. no 21- Sonic Youth

umm is this romper room?