a sweeping state-ment

all good and pantywaist anglophones were most likely force fed info about the house of plantagenet

they ruled over chunks of france

and large bits of the bwitish (northern?) isles for hundreds of years

even the most ignorant donkey fucker has heard of 

some harrys, dicks and eddies

after centuries of standard slaughter and oppression

and copulating with their sisters, uncles and step midgets

they eventually got sick of incest

and in the name of pompous fuckwittery and lutes

murdered themselves into oblivion

but at least their noble named lived on!?

 doesnt the name plantagenet sound sooo sophis!

sooo exotico!

sooo high and mighty!

yeah nah

its named after an unimpressive ickle yellow flower

genisteae or planta genista

also known as the broom plant

how very glamourous indeed! 

quiubole?

arrecho!

chido?

chevere?

arrecho?

puravida?

weona?

chuchaqui?

boludo?

naco?

pana?

parcero?

tio?

chavo?

compa?

vos?

coger?

orale?

hijole?

andale?

birra?

fria?

chela?

tuanis?

maje?

chispero?

che?

cerote?

fren?

vaina?

flaite?

cachai?

fresa?

guagua?

bacano?

pelotudo?

pinche guey!

ojafuckingla!

la matinee? baise-moi!

avez-vous alle' jamais au cinema dans l'apres midi pour voir un film 'matinee'?
moi, oui
mais ça n'a aucun sens!
et pourquois pas mon ami? vous dites
c'est parce que...
matinee vient de le mot matin
et ca veut dire selon google;
'Période de temps comprise entre le lever du soleil et midi.
putain!

brizzle gets bizzle... huzzah!

in shockingly contemporary news
brisvegans have torn down a statue Edward Colston and thrown it in the 'harbour'
colston was a revered filthy rich white dude who donated lots of wonga to his home town of brizzle
which contributed to the construction of many lovely buildings and plazas
some of which still bear his name
looking at you megabus terminal @ hall

unfortunately
much like grandpa simpsons onion on his belt
colston made his money by shipping Human Beings as Chattels
(no relation)
and their descendants
to short brutal lives (if they didnt die en route)
of misery and suffering as Slaves
which was the style at the time


admittedly he did this evil shit in the 17th and 18th centuries
when it wasnt uncommon to see 'others' as uncivlized
thus less than human
the europeans and their north american colonies had a merry old time
making eye watering amounts of money via this exploitation
and built much of their current nations wealth
and plenty of grand buildings
(looking at you port of liverpool)
on the 'triangular trade'
of approx fucking 12.5 million Humans

yes yes you cryptofascists
they werent the only ones by any stretch
the africans were usually caught and sold on by other african tribes
and the arabs were past masters
mayans, romans, shang and just about every other fucker
etc etc
but if you take into account
go fuck yourselves moral relativist cunts
...

the main offenders were (in Humans trafficked)

Spain         Portugal     Great Britain   Netherlands  U.S.A    .France   
1,061,524  5,848,266   3,259,441          554,336   305,326  1,381,404

serpicant be serious

i dont care if it was the early seventies
when looking like youd been dragged backwards through a leech infested swamphenge
was way cool
man
i dont care if al pacino is a bit of a mito
nor if his gringaccento was whiny as fuck
i dont even care that at times in the film when hes fully bearded
and you can only see his mug
he looks particularly handsome
like a glammy cross between marco and stefan
i dont care if people sometimes wore glider sized lapels to weddings
with sideburns that would have made old burnside cringe
i dont even care that he was a rebel
a hippy
a groover
or the fucking formosan queen mother
i dont care if he was an evil scientists version of a love child of a highly stoned chong, bill oddie and billy from easy rider
i dont care if his mum spoke to him in italian dialect
nor that the real bloke was ethically outstanding


thats just fucking obscene

whats on your mind?

brain food?

un che pibe boludo

Cunt Leopold's Goats

Belgium hey?
cute little harmless country with pretty towns
waffles, chocolate and frites
kept being invaded by napolean then the naughty prussians
half frenchy
half nederlander
(plus a dash of deutsch)
tintin et milou!
a little stone wazzer
lovely friendly people

all good and innocent

surely they didnt get involved in the eurotrash mania of colonising, looting and genocide of the last half millenium?

not like those dastardly french in indochina or west and north africa
or those wicked spanish in latin america and the (phillip)ines
or those brutal portuguese in africa and brasil
or those java despoiling dutch
not even like those giovanni come latelys - italy, having a gas in abyssinia
or those genocidal germans in namibia, hottenwots?
or the champions of colonial exploitation, the conniving engerlish!

alas they were at it too

as (some of the) sex pistols said
no one is innocent.

just suppose i juxtaposed with you 2 - giza geezer

verdict; go fuck yourself


pyramids of giza
constructed as tombs for pharoahs. circa 2500 BCE
including the Great Pyramid  of khufu which was the tallest man-made structure in the world for more than 3,800 years.. It is estimated that the pyramid weighs approximately 6 million tonnes, and consists of 2.3 million blocks of limestone and granite, some weighing as much as 80 tonnes. 
It is the oldest of the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World, and the only one to remain largely intact.

seen from

pizza hut, giza
a bog standard 3 storey building, latter half 20th century building.
not content with taking the magnificent italian food and desecrating it by making it out of reprocessed horse shit, decorated with lowest grade excretia, euphemistically labelled 'toppings'. this crass uber capitalistic multi national conglomerate chose to place their filth dispensing outlet adjacent to the most the most culturally significant building on the planet.

just suppose i juxtaposed with you; 1 - tokyo town

verdict; jarring or striking?
i dont fucking know

zojiji temple
14th century buddhist temple
main temple of the Jōdo-shū Chinzei sect of Buddhism in the Kantō region
from the tokugawa shogunate

set beside

 tokyo tower
1950's eiffel tower knock off
communications and observation tower , it is the second-tallest structure in Japan.

The reassuringly named Death Road - Bolivia

shortly after some religious fools very effectively performed a demolition job in downtown noo yawk
a couple of nutters went for a little bikey wikey excursion
it goes from the snowy andean nutmeggery outside la paz
down to the sub tropical town of coroico
a drop of 3500 metres over 60 km distance
its called the death road because it was built by bob death of la paz in the 1830s
or its because of many deaths from people getting it slightly wrong and falling off the edge
to their dooooom!
most of the deaths are locals driving trucks, buses etc
but it also averages one death per year of foolhardy bikey tourists

and it sure killed my butt!

hipster swaziland?

did swaziland change its name be modern and hi tech sounding?
did such an enormous undertaking take place to keep up ezines, email and the ejoneses?
did traditional attire change from colourful african clobber to naff beards, retro bicycles and moronic tattoos?

in 2018 this lichtenstein of a nation which only came about coz of eurotrash meddling
changed its named to
eswatini

effing hell...

xi-nnie the pooh

surely its not too soon... oh? 干!

of goras and gorras

-little desi cousins enraptured by the gora gorra

once upon a time in rajasthan
some jolly folks went on safari
to the famed ranthambore national park
where it is 'easy to spot' bengal tigers

the open top bus dealy was called a canter
the tourists were mostly indians
plus a handful of funny looking pallid goras
the canter was crammed full
so 2 little desi cousins had to change seats to the final row
as there was more space there
beside the bogan gora up the back
ensconsed in his corner

it wasnt a big deal
because their kindly mum/aunt and their uncle
back visiting from his studies in ukraine
were right in front
the clumsy gora tried to talk to them in his nonsensical gibberish
but they had no idea was he was mlecching about
the elder of the two cousins
just smiled sweetly and humoured him
when he threw in a few desi words amongst his mlecchery
but the little boy was nonplussed
what on earth was this fat transparent fool on about?
he might as well have been sat next to the ravenous blugglatter beast of traal

they kept climbing back and forward between the two rows
wanting to hang with their family
but they were told off and had to stay put when the canter took off
as the canter approached the gates of the park
the usual tat wallahs were there
and one gorra wallah spied the gora in the back corner
and thought he was surely 'in'
for a sale of his 'official ranthambore' gorras

on a whim the gora bought a gorra
and plonked it on his little neighbours head
hoping to score some brownie points
after some clumsy adjustments which kept squashing his head
now what was the bloody alien doing to him?
the gora sat back
looking proud of himself
and hoping for some recognition for his gesture

and then...

nothing

the little fellow briefly toyed with it to make it comfortable
and carried on with his day
all was forgotten
no yearned for warm words of thanks from the next generation in front
nor hoped for admiring looks from any of the other desi tourists

so the gora had to get on with his journey
vaguely fantasizing of imagined grandparental approval
when they got home

or in a decades time
the little fellow finding it in the back of his wardrobe
and thinking warmly of that friendly mlecching gora
then being inspired to become leader of the united nations
in the spirit of international understanding

or
far more probably
it was was quickly forgotten
thrown in a corner
and disintegrated within weeks
to be thrown away with broken toys
to moulder away in a land fill

choose your own gora gorra destiny adventure

i looove you.. you are my BINT!

somewhere in the non wilds of south western engerland
we zipped along in her small car
probably from salisbury plain
heading towards bath? bristol? bielefeld?
on occasions like this
(and any other give half a chance)
despite pleas, threats and finally, resignation
she loved to 'sing' aloud
and loud
even if not allowed
she was notoriously tone deaf
if contagiously gleeful
but
as it was her car
she got to choose the music
and was belting out one horrorshow
after another
well they werent EXCLUSIVELY horrors
occasionally one would fall into my tasty taste bracket
one such album was a pet shop boys jobbie
and as she squawked and wailed her way through the tracks
this one track caught my groove train
the chorus just happened feature one of my fave blighty slang words

so
and most likely for the one time only
i too joined in the horrific tuneless mauling of a passable ditty
as i hollered along with
I LOOOOOOVE YOU, YOU ARE MY BINT

heres looking up yours, my nutter queen.

Strǝtjǝckǝt Fǝts

just before the continents sank
you could still go outside
i was sitting in a grungy bar
they tuned up and took us all for a ride

straitjacket fits' shayne, i need you again
deep space jam on inner north terrain
straitjacket fits' shayne, i need you again
help me break these tedious quarantine chains...

one thousand, five and hundred seventy four gins please... large ones!

there once was a traditional old english illegal drinking establishment in london town
monica worked there
she wasnt a fan of the 'drink now, pay later' scheme
mr yakimoto
the french geezer found it overwhelming
it was members only
it was the kind of place
where everything goes
until
everything went...

ferry district

tanti anni fa

c'era un tipo come lei

e lui cercava casa nel centro storico di una citta europea

c'erano altre case

e anche migliori

fuori del centro storico

ma lui era fissato

voleva vivere proprio nel centro storico

fra i vicoli

stretti stretti

anche se non c'era molto luce

e non si vedeva niente di flora da nessuna parte

ma lui era deciso

perche aveva un idea romantica

molto malaccorto

della vita che sognava...

communque

e' andato a inspezionare un appartamento

ed gli piaceva tanto

anche se

non era un granche

e per niente practica!

purtroppo non si ricordava il nome della strada dov'era

e ha raccontato agli amici della scoperta

del appartamento in...

vico traghetti! 

😂😂😂😂😂😂

.... y la 'ley' ganó

a

Yo soy un hombre prisionero
De donde crece el datilero
Yo soy un hombre prisionero
De donde crece el datilero
Y antes de morirme quiero
Echar mis versos del alma

Guantanamera
Verduga Guantanamera
Guantanamera
Verduga Guantanamera

Mi verso es de un verde claro
Y de un carmin encendido
Mi verso es de un verde claro
Y de un carmin encendido
Mi verso es un camello herido
Que busca en la sombra amparo

Guantanamera
Torturadora Guantanamera
Guantanamera
Torturadora Guantanamera

Cultivo la higuera
En junio como en enero
Cultivo la higuera
En junio como en enero
Para el amigo sincero
Que me da su mano franca

Guantanamera
Martirizadora Guantanamera
Guantanamera
Martirizadora Guantanamera

Y para la crueldad gringa que me arranca
El corazon con que vivo
Y para la crueldad gringa que me arranca
El corazon con que vivo
Mijo ni ortiga cultivo
Cultivo la higuera

Guantanamera
Atormentadora Guantanamera
Guantanamera
Atormentadora Guantanamera

Con los pobres de la tierra
Quiero yo mi suerte echar
Con los pobres de la tierra
Quiero yo mi suerte echar
El oasis del desertio
Me complace mas que el mar

(si, si, se ella no nacio alla, callate!)