its the end of that world...

as they know it
and millions of sad fanboyies and girlies are traumatised

and it was spent
the dragons and tits spectacular
the most loved telly show since
since not jebus didnt not have spokey dokeys

and it ended with a misfiring squib
being rammed right up the nerds rear admirals
and they are fuuurrrriuuusss
starting online petitions
smashing their keyboards with their knuckle draggy hands
AND WAILING IN CAPITALS
because it didnt end how they had imagined


at the start i found it pretty and  pretty uninspiring
all that i am lord trevor, 15th son of the baron of arseloch
i challenge you, king rectinol of the 9th sea of ubersplat
over the death of my favourite long haired gazunderblech
etc etc
exposition? boh?
but after all that  was EVENTUALLY over
it did float the limeboat

and the 12 year old mentalists did have a point
the ending was a bit underwhelming
all that epicness ending with
ok, lets all fuck off somewhere else now for some chips


but that was far less tragi/comic
than the chorus of entitled wheezing elderly infants...

shouting lagaan lagaan lagaan....

as part of the universal education scheme
implemented by the C.R.A.P
Compulsory Rotund Asininity Program
you will submit!
for the lesser good
this film was screened at limebeaver longford  gaslight of  lumiere
and its farrrrking epically long
three and a half hours
its really enjoyable
just has a bit too much of the obvious
the bad guys are soo bad
the good guys are sooo good
and the young lovers will of course face hurdles
or stumps
but you fucking know they will end of forever together
extra paneer anybody?

you aint seen me right?

a localised shower of two particular toff cunts

drugs are bad mkaay?

 

Back in the good old days - the second half of the 19th century- before political correctness gone mad etc etc stfu
a 'french' (va te faire foutre, he was corsican) geezer called mariani came up with a popular drinkie and modestly named it after himself.
loads of famous people publicly swore by the stuff
including 2 popes, thomas edison, ulysses s grant, the french pm and emile zola all banged on about how super it was.
in the ads, it was claimed it would restore health, strength, energy and vitality.
YOU WANT SOME RIGHT NOW ehi?!

what made it so downright brillo?
it was 'à la Coca du Pérou'
thats right
it was bang full of cocaine
so shove your copycat early coca cola up your gringo arse
this was alcoholic AND  it was chockers with charlie!

no wonder it made everybody feel so amazeballs...

The Ghost - Vale and thanks for the incomparable education

FOR THOSE WHO CAME IN LATE
OVER 400 YEARS AGO
WASHED ASHORE ON A REMOTE VICTORIAN BEACH
HE SWORE AN OATH ON THE SKULL OF HIS FATHER
HE WAS THE FIRST PHANTOM
HIS DESCENDANTS CARRIED ON
BUT LISTENERS AND JUNGLE FOLK  BELIEVED HIM THE SAME MAN
NEMESIS OF MEDIOCRE RADIO EVERYWHERE
HE WORKS ALONE
THE PHANTOM...




.

"It’s time for us to plant you now, dig you later – you take care and whatever you do, make sure you take it and trust the energy, ’cause the energy says you’ll be deeply missed and forever remembered."

mier... coles!

"you wot!?!"

you dont eat or sleep or mow the lawn...

this came across my limited scope again the other day
and
yes
its worth a revisit
hell
its quite literally the 20th annif!
and its still fucking 'ilarious!
it made even the most wannabe cynical types crack a giggle on
and sing along in the most appalling of tone deafness one could witness
(between tea break mugs of gin and unsettling winking brought on by incorrect contact placement)

now in techniculo!

fuck juve e la sua nebbia

la juve mi fa schifo
sono ladri e imbroglioni
questo non e' un opinione
e stata beccata tante volte
pagando l'arbitro
drogando i giocatori
ecc ecc
ma sopratuto per l'arroganza
la mentalita di 'siamo speciali'
e' una cosa schifosa

communque
nell'autunno di 2001
facevo un soggiorno sconsigliato
all'inghotto
...
una storia lunga
...

e mi hanno offerto dei biglietti gratis
per una partita del champions!
fuck juve contro bayer leverkeusen
si!
sarrebbe stata una figata!

pero quando ci siamo arrivati allo stadio
non si vedeva un tubocazzo
per colpa della fucking nebbia

la partita e' stata cancellata
e non ho visto niente
uselle!
(e fuck juve)

nonce sense

whats your favourite bang?

interro?

or 

finger?

space needle

Where Oblivion is beckoning
Where Leviathan is reckoning ...

love no more

so g love left teenage fanclub

i hope he didnt take his special source with him

at least it wasnt for 'artistic differences'

i fucking hate that one

e pensavate che la pizza all'ananas e' fosse una cosa tremenda..

ma noooooo
vi presento la pizza al durian!
si!
e la pizza con quella frutta buona ma dolce
e con il puzzo cosi orrendo
che nei tanti alberghi in asia
non e' permesso portarlo dentro l'edificio!

imaginate i poverini napoletani
che sono stati in asia e l'hanno visto sul menu

porca fetosa!

mi culo herboso

thanks!
good name for a band that

magyar making ya crazy

right wing bell end and president of hungary victor orban
not that recently as part of his general being a reactionary fuckwit
went about trying to promote local people couples procreating
you know the deal
protect the master race
make more of us
we are the mostest special after all!
otherwise the 'others' might outnumber us all, big gah!
and in a master stroke of stupidity
his government started putting up giant roadside posters
telling people to back out some more kiddlies

but
as is the way with shitheadded populists
they farked it up
on their family values horseshit posters
they lashed out and bought some generic images online
and of course as they morons
they got images of perhaps the most famous meme peoples of the moment
yes!
the couple whose image has been re-used a billion times over
for language, food, tech and anything else you may have heard of
for memes of a couple
who are walking down the street hand in hand
and hes turned his head
checking out another chick!

georgie orwell sends us all hugs... 

England football fans Vs not being a fuckhead

and i think we all knew who the winner would be...

youre nicked toe rag

“The complexities of cause and effect defy analysis.”
― Douglas Adams

                                                                            

il y a trente ans

en juin 1989 les etudiants chinoises dans beaucoup de villes ont proteste
ils etaient marres du systeme communist du pays
et centaines de milles sont allees dans le rues du pays
le gouvernment
ou meilleur dit le parti communist ont fait tout le possible pour les fermer
si on entend  les nier, les intimider et menacer
veut dire tout le possible
alors ils ont essayer de envoyer l'armee dans le centre ville de pekin
mais a ce point aussi les travailleurs sont entres eux memes dans les rues
et ils ont ferme l'armee
avec leurs propres corps
donc le gouverment a choisi une chose infame
et a ordene l'armee d'entrer
a n'import quel cout dans la place ti an en men
et e arrive le denouement
le tanks etc ont massacre milliers de personnes innocents
sans armes
les personnes normelles que ne volaient plus
que la democratie
que avoir le droit de parler librement

et alors le parti communist a maintenu le pouvoir
et jusqua au'jourdhui presque personne en chine connaissent le faits
et aussi dans le reste du monde
on ne dit rien
car la monnaie chinoise est trop importante
felicitationes au eux
la chine est toujours un pays orwellien

bof!

pandora's wot?

the research department of limebeaverbollocks inc
(heavily subsidised by big pottery)
has made a radical discovery
the container which the pandora chica
and with whos tampering
caused 47 flavours of hell to be unleashed
wasnt a fucking box!
nooooo(ah)
was it a bag?
was it a satchel?
was it a demijohn?
was it a perspex case containing an american shyster?
was it even a fucking amphora?

no
no
no
no!

get your whelms out
give them a good undering
 
it was a jar!
that most basic of objects
bearing the basest form of anglo saxon title

a fucking jar!

put that in your kiln and smoke it!