south park the 25th annif concert...

they took our jobs!

as a rule:

musicals shit me

operas shit me

movies with musical numbers (even if they 'move the plot along') shit me

even recorded performances by kick arse bands shit me

But they don't shit me one tiny eentzy weentzy miniscule

Macroscopic nanoseismic pan-insignificant zoophytic

Neo-nonexistent bit compared to the way...

I shit me!

(thanks to humphrey b flaubert)

but THIS does not shit me.

Evel Shitnievel

if any misty eyed sentimental old carnt ever tries to tell you that the 1970s were cool

just show them this vid

(or a pic of Slade)

and watch them shut up for all eternity

the worlds busiest hairport...

 

ever been to Atlanta Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport?

its like a huge busy shopping centre carpark

full of cars buzzing about

but with big beastie planes!

its fucking huuuuuuge!

going back to sabah, gonna have myself a time...

 

a long time ago 

on a timeline far away

in fact thirty years ago

a slightly terrified 

young buffoon had a (to him) unexpected stop over

in kota kinabalu, malaysia

on his way to tokyo

for his first solo international trip

he gawped at beautiful beach/jungle combo from his hublot

as the plane descended along the coast

shortly after

during the couple of hours hanging around the international lounge

he saw a beautiful multiracial couple

him tanned and tall bule with flowing blonde hair

her gracious slim malay with long glossy dark hair

as he somewhat jealously admired the glamorous couple

he decided that he would come back to this exotic tropical land one day

for his honeymoon

!!!

now three decades later

he is finally set to return

(alas without the presumed blushing bride on his arm

as that timeline hit a particularly jagged reef

on the tempestuous seas of the intervening years)

yet going back he is yoda

la premiere foto d'un homme?

dans 1838 a paris

un mec qui se apellait louis daguerre 

a pris le premiere photo de un etre humain 

il etait un passant qui se faisait cirer ses chaussures

et pourquoi?

'car il est resté suffisamment immobile pour figurer sur cette image

car le long temps de pose nécessaire à la photo (le procédé du daguerréotype nécessite un temps de pose d’une durée de 7 à 20 minutes)

n’a pas permis d’enregistrer l’animation qui régnait d’ordinaire sur le boulevard.'

En 1839, Samuel Morse, l’inventeur du télégraphe, à qui Louis Daguerre a montré la photo, écrit :

“Les objets en mouvement ne s’impressionnent pas. Le boulevard, si constamment rempli d’une cohue mouvante de piétons et de voitures, était parfaitement désert, à l’exception d’un individu qui était en train de faire cirer ses bottes. Bien entendu, ses pieds durent rester immobiles pendant un moment, l’un posé sur la boîte du cireur, l’autre sur le sol. En conséquence, ses bottes et ses jambes ont été bien définies, mais il n’a ni corps ni tête, car ceux-ci étaient en mouvement.”

bien fait louis!

un ne peut pas imaginer combien il aurait ete complique faire un photobomb a la epoque!

no boost in de oost

before world war twee

the jewel in the dutch colonial crown was indonesia

or Nederlands-Indië

but

with the expansion of the japanese empire

the dutch got kicked out of those spicily bountiful isles

but like many eurobastard empires

they didnt get de hint

that time was up for their colonial plundering/murdering adventures

so after the end of the war in the pacific

and the nihon jin were sent home

those naughty nederlanders 

were once again hanging about where they werent wanted

and tying to reclaim their lost prize

but the orang indonesia werent having it

and wanted their independensi!

wat zal het zijn?!?

(an) new worst album... ever?

 

fucking waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

pendant qu'on parle de (neo) colonialisme...

How France Condemned Haiti, Guinea and Other African Countries To Poverty

ou

encore une autre histoire de cupidité et de cruauté française dans le monde (post) colonial

(Last) Chhello Show

little samay lives in a poor rural village in gujarat

although his family belongs to a relatively important caste

his father fucked up and is reduced to being a chai walla at the local (rarely frequented) train station

and terrible news looms

as they learn that there will soon be only express trains that wont stop at the local station

samay discovers the local cinema

he falls in love

he starts skipping school

and sneaking inside

but he gets caught by the owner

kicked out and banned from the premises

later as he sadly loiters outside the cinema

he befriends the projectionist

who lets him watch the movies from his booth

in exchange for his delicious lunch that his mum prepares

samay is in (cinema) paradiso!

but the cinema is getting changed to digital

and his buddy is out of a job!

little samay nicks old films and bits and pieces of equipment

from the warehouse where they are stored

and makes his own mini cinema with his mates

eventually he goes on to make his own films with his mates

with their rickety nicked parts

will he go on to cinematic greatness as a director?

or will his dreams go the way of countless others without financial means?

if cinema paradiso floated your barca

get your gujurati gear going

and check out this slice of loveliness...

i find your lack of faith disturbing, you slags!

 

infrastructure maintenance is bad for humanity mmkay?

Dead Man Comes Alive After Ambulance Hits Pothole!

y se dice que en la edad media los ricos eran decadentes...

las chichis al horno señor?

 

(tambien el neo) colonialismo es asqueroso

(y si tio sam, se habla de ti)

que grandisimos hijos de puta!

y aun la lucha continua

fuerza el pueblo guate y arevalo...

is everybody hapi?

a couple of hapi chappies sorting out the fertility of the nile valley

hap hap hap hapi!

We're having a party

and everyone's welcome

And if you've got no gods

I'm sure we'll invent some...

 Well are you happy?

maria had a little lambish

a troubled youngish couple live on a farm in spectacular rural iceland

they raise some funky sheep

something spooky kills their beloved pet dog

alfonsidottir

a new lamb is born

it is not shown but there is something very odd about it

the couple are beside themselves with joy

and the odd new lamb lives with them in the house

eventually we see that the new lamb has a human(ish) body!

hvað í andskotanum!?

the mother ewe hangs around bleating at its child through the window

anyone for chops?

the brother in law comes to skive at theirs for a while

and 

like others that encounter the new addition to the family

he is appalled/shocked/has his flabber gasted

(when not trying to shag his sister in law)

the situation just gets darker

its not gold in them thar hills

its something bigger, badder, hornier and uncannier

and things are about to get messy...

Frontera Verde

las amazonas son enormes

de hecho

son mas grande que enormes

son enorchingatumadremes

nunca he estado en las amazonas

pero he estado cercano un par de veces

asi soy experto!

este serie colombiano se occure nel rincon amazone del pais

donde se encuentran colombia, brasil y peru

en un mundo mixta de indigenas y mestizos

y espanol, portugues y varios idiomas nativos

hay la misterio de una matanza de mujeres indiginas

y llega una agente de policia de bogota 

para investigar el caso

ella se encuentra la magia y espiritualidad del inframundo nativa

su lucha por preservar su universo tan distincto

los madereros violentos

la trafica de drogas

la corrupicion official

y algunos secretos de su pasado!

bacano!

le otto montagne

le otto montangne e quasi un capolavoro

una storia di due amici nelle alpi

(senza l'erotismo di brokeback mountain)

((e non ce niente di sbagliato in quello))

ci sono i due protaganisti

(uno pare che abbia le tendenze nichiliste)

che sono amici da giovani

poi le loro vite si divergono

uno, un vero montagnard

si rimane nelle sue amate alpi

mentre l'altro si torna a vivere in citta

anni dopo come adulte

le loro vite si intrecciano di nuovo

dopo il morto dell padre del secondo

e recostruirano una baracca alto nelle montagne

ci sono storie di amicizia

di familia

di amore sentimentale

ce il grande alessandro borghi

ma il vero star e il paesaggio mozzafiato

gli umani sono esseri temporanei

le montagne ci sono per sempre...

rokuen are rude

 

if you are so lucky as to go to japan

you must go to

the ancient capital of nara

just outside

the ancient capital of kyoto

the temples are magnificent

to stumble about and admire

in the serene beautifully curated gardens

and if you are a sucker tourist

you can by some biscuity rokuen food

from the kindly looking elders with their stands

to feed to the masses of sweet looking rokuen that hang about 

waiting for suckers to feed them

this particular sucker was all in

handed over his yen

and proceeded to be mugged

by those (ridiculously aggressive) sweet looking rokuen

and left dazed and shaken

with scratches and bite marks all over

クソ野郎ども！

obelix lo storico

vedete?

aveva ragione obelix

e voi credevate che obelix fosse un rimbambito...

eeee sono ancora pazzi

due milleni dopo...

worst mr men character ever

watch out!

mr ebola is about!

To Live (有時讓其死去)

ever wondered how life was for normal people in china in the second half of the 20th century?

then watch this fab film!

it includes-

civil war lunacy

limps

being cold

tumultuous societal upheaval

chairman mao type get ups by the truckload

chopsticks

zero western 'saviour' types

small town politics gone mental communist dogma style

great leaps

yfel ræfn−an ne forcýðan!

 

ye olde gaheth!

pax romain?

all round hunk and kick arse fitballer

Olivier Giroud 

v

the other one

Romain Giroud

commentaire de l'année?

jean-jacques francois jacques jean

 

aka jj frankie jj de shoresy

le nom francais le plus canon de tous le temps?

yucky soba!

 

the experts warned us not do it

they spelled out all the risks

of our dna's tendency to mutate

they cautioned of the fabled evil spaghetti monsters of yore

the compromised politicians equivocated

as big noodle undermined the science

yet humankind is heedless and dissolute

and inevitably

someone

somewhere

(possibly in the summertime)

eventually surrendered to wheaty temptation

and shagged a packet of ramen

oh the fidelity!

έχουν ένα σημείο εκεί!

these greek newspaper peoples 

dont seem too pleased with sunaks prevarication

about the rightful return of the Γλυπτά του Παρθενώνα

from the twitish museum

aka imperial kleptocrats playpen

aka historical theft-based meme generation phenomenon

Threads - its the feel good hit of the (nuclear) winter!

it was really was grim up north...

(and everyfuckingwhere else)

upside down beer drinker

fascinating bloke that

full of riveting tales

useful life lessons

and witty banter

BELCH!

tanti ragazzi, una coppa di merda 28

 

the COP 28 (Cuntiness Of Parasites) is being held in the UAE (Unending Arab Emptiness) 

a country that is filthy rich from selling shit to burn

in a region that owes its entire wealth to selling shit to burn

what could possibly go wrong?

with the host country's grand fromage

and event host

sultan scrotey al arseface

being able to straight-facedly claiming that

 there is “no science” indicating that a phase-out of fossil fuels is needed to restrict global heating

 without shitting his galabeya into low earth orbit from suppressed laughter

business as per fucking usual allora...

il mare crudele - la luna di miele e finita (almeno per me)

non sarà mai più così...

mi dispiace tex e ragazzi

non ce lo potevo fare

ad assistere al concerto per il (fucking!) 30esimo anniversario

ci ho voluto tanto

infatto ne ho pagato abbastanza

ma non doveva esserci

oh, non è più divertente

non so cosa dire...

stunningly salacious EURO 2024 draaaoooooh si!

(with supplementalary sibilant syllabary) 

seen at the recent selection for euro 24 soccer shindig

the smug supercilious self saluting scumbags

of UEFA (Utterly Egregiously Fucking Avaricious) 

had to suffer a saucy soundtracking scenario

suca!

Neco z Alenky (ne Karla)

a czechy kind of alice

with animal skulls

and all kinds of cool old skool trickery

a gothy kind of alice

with sunglasses at night

and black, black kit

palazzo del cazzo

 

si

e un palazzo

quindi?

🤷

il sacrilegio fruttifero

a me non mi dispiace l'ananas sulla pizza

a lui invece...

la cumbia parces...

 

recientemente yo fui a un concierto de cumbia

y lastima! no estuve en santa marta!

pero

me lo disfruto mucho

es musica que he oido varias veces en mi vida

como salsa, tango, reggaeton (brrrr), mariachi, ranchera y varias musicas andinas de flautas

cuando estuve en las paises de america latina

a decir la verdad

tambien si me gustaron las musicas tradicionales de latam

era come parte de la experiencia de estar en una cultura 

nunca me han golpeado al corazon

(o a las nalgas)

pero cuando vi que una parcera bumanguesa cantaba con un grupo cumbia

tenia muchas ganas a experimentarla otra vez

yyyy

fue genial!

como parte del show

explicaron la historia de cumbia

con imagines instructivas en una pantalla grande

y si vestieron en ropa tradicional

sobre todo las mujeres un sus vestidas multi coloradas y spectaculares

Hicieron un gran esfuerzo para animar al público a subir a la pista de baile

y bailar a la musica

todo eso creo la buena onda y una occasion jubilosa

y con latinos varios en el publico

lograron a crear un pequeno rincon de ambiente colombiana

en el otro lado del charco

(mas grande al mundo)

y obviamente la estrella del espectaculo

fue la parcera bumanguesa bacana!

epa!

HENERAL LUNA - hindi, hindi at hindi na muli

did they put the H in the title to help monoglots pronounce it correctly?

i really wanted to like this movie

we dont get a lot of pino movies that have a half decent budget

and always up for seeing an underdog kicking the big bad imperial farkers

its a great tale

and the actors arent utterly terrible

the period military outfits look goodish (but inexplicably clean) too

but

it just looks cheap

therefore unconvincing

and the cliches have all the subtlety 

of a 10 metre cucaracha

shitting appropriately sized turds

all over your breakfast cereal of choice

the mighty and rabble rousing patriotic Heneral hero

the complicated love interest/red cross heroine

the evil scheming politicians selling out the MAN

the selfless (ketchup covered) sacrifices of the loyal pino soldiers

is it shitfully awful?

hindi

is it a chunky let down?

ay oo!

spider pig gran premio

SPIDER PIG

SPIDER PIG

Does whatever a SPIDER PIG does

looking forward to new formula uno race

in 'the meadows'

*cough cough*

(the most egregious case of toponomic wishful thinking yet?)

on its unique spider pig configuration...

LOOK OOOUUUTTT!!!!

He is a SPIDER PIG!!

melfed rhyngwladol (Live at the 1999 Rugby World Cup Opening)

tugs on the old llinynnau calon innit?

every day i wake up

and thank the lord im welsh...

on thees day - 8th november

on this day in 1923

in a sweaty beerhall

in munchin', deutschlandia

a pathetic little twat 

who may or not have had one ball

a stupid moustache

a rather natty dress sense

who was a crap artist

a rather un'woke' attitude to ethnicity

and some rather weighty mummy issues

tried to take over the nation

and failed

ha!

alas

in the not too distant future

he did manage to take over the country

and helped the eurotrash outdo their estimable previous mass murder record

following on the 'war to end all wars'

with the biggest shiniest bloodiest war yet

and a little genocide along the way...

the secret ingredient?

啤酒撒尿！

Ixcanul - o el k'iche' no es un plato frances

al lado de un vulcan 

en supercool guatelandia

vive una pequena comunidad maya

en la pobreza tipica de la gente indigena en el mundo

la hija adolescente debe casarse con el jefe de la mayorista de cafe

del que depende 

el bienestar de la familia de aparceros

pero...

es una peli utziil!

parce que nous sommes tous les adultes matures

surtout les gens de la science

maintenant je vais ranger ma cape

et rentrer dans mon vaisseau spatial fait de gorgonzola

bahahahaha

 

Suburra no murra

'Il quartiere più popolare dell'antica Roma, fra il Quirinale, il Viminale, il Celio e l'Appio, socialmente ‘male abitato’; lett., il quartiere più sudicio e malfamato di una grande città.'

quindi siamo di nuovo alla fine di una serie geniale

mi mancarete,

 

aure- il bell protagonista tormentato con gli occhi belli

spadi- il losco zingaro crestato ma (quasi) simpatico

cina- il politico calvo idealista che si corrompe

ange- la bella magra zingarina che si cresce molto in fretta

mona- la signora chi lavoro col diavolo e organizza le festone di puttane e droghe

samurai- il fucking duro capo (ma non dei capi) mafioso

gabri- il bel giovane figlio di polizzoto con il male dentro

ed gli altri...

daje raga!

Sean says you were born out of wedlock!

 

how would you prefer to pronounce his name?

seen been?

shawn bawn?

sharnt carnt?

either way he has a mighty fine yorkshirian way of using the adjective

little mister muppet

sat on his derrick

eating of sand and oil....

 

Syk pike or Norwegians can be disgraceful too (again)

så tullete!

she isnt quite The worse person in the world (also quality)

but shes fucking annoying!

havent yet got sick of matt s tho...

no, no... thats ignorant!

pling pling

shamone!

broken obelix

it felt kinda maleducato walking all over the big man ...

celles ci, elles sont des pipes

 

les pipes de chiotte!

is that what jarvis was on about?

But I've kissed your mother twice

And now I'm working on your dad...

When We Was Fab

ma perche?

perche si...

hey mister bass man

get the fucking night bus home!

(see what i did there?)

push it real good

something

something 

nutter

leggy leggy leggy leggy etc part 2

 

Jacks Laddered Medias

jack ladder is a tall, curious chap

and makes lovely and interesting music

his real name is the appalling 'tim rogers'

so thankfully he went for a nom d'art

not that long ago i had tix to see him

one of which was bought for some fucker who virtually disappeared

ciononostante

i was up for seeing him superhans

so i rocked up appropriately late for the gig

only to learn that there were THREE support acts

and jacks back wouldnt be on until stupid oclock

way too laticle for this olde geezer!

thus

i finished my pint on the rickety chair on the steetside

tried and failed to flog the tix online

and fucked right off 

many sheckles poorer

without even spying the lanky streak of musicianship

cheers then jackson

check you next time you are B.I.T

and playing at an appropriate hour at a geriatric residence 

in my rather particular fenetre

ps upside discovered when an acquaintance informed that it was a a bit shit

Kin-dza-dza!

a marvellously mental soviet sci fi film

apparently full of soviet allegories, boh!

chock full of Chatlians and Patsaks

Gravitsappas and Pepelats

and ominous Tranklucators

on the planet Pluke

get this genius into your eye holes 

and a big fucking koo to you!

Vatican Girl: O, quegli stronzi di ladri assassini

ci sono tre conclusioni abbastanza ragionevoli, e in tutti i tre il vaticano e coinvolto e colpevole... fdps!

ben detto obi wan

Alla ricerca di Nemo -- non tuo...

non so perche, ma in italiano questo mi ha sempre fatto ridere

boh!

withnail and eye

a brilliant film

brilliantly deconstructed here:

https://shows.acast.com/comfort-blanket/episodes/withnail-i-with-jim-howick

If you're listening ed, give us a tale...

 

ever the humble hero

(mit einem Augenzwinkern)

ed k claimed that on the 8th of november 1989

the night before berlin wall fell

he played in west berlin

and was a catalyst for the the events that followed

he went on to tell us that on that particular evening 

when he changed the whirllld

he got his fans to wave their lighters around

and do a big old sing-along

kum bay fucking ya ed!

and that as times have changed

best we get out our mobilies and shine them about instead

and maybe

just maybe 

we could feel some of those bags of change

from that fateful night!

nice one ed!

for those knot in the no

ed is the greatest (germano)/strayan rocker of all time

a driving force behind the earliest australian punk band of note

the saints

(who predated the famed blimey spitty band everybody is familiar with)

and has released an outstanding body of work in the decades since

and still knows how rock out

vielen dank herr kuepper!

wtf lah?

 

apparently in a recent week

there were 1.25K readers of this blog

from the tiny island nation of singapore

something, something rotten fishies...

ive never set foot in singapore proper

although ive spent many hours in the delightful singapore airport

on several occasions

its the loveliest airport of all

(admittedly a diabolically feeble competition)

plentiful comfy couches, tvs with fitba, waterfalls, mini forests

its absolutely lush

but considering this blog has (understandably) averaged exceedingly low numbers

(probably about none)

over 17 fucking years

this sudden upturn in readership from singapore

is spectacularly dubious

wtf lah?

THE PLATFORM - obvio

que filmazo

si es un hoyo

un gran bel hoyo

pero en ingles

se llama la plataforma

que podria ser definido como el opuesto!

aquellos locos anglofonos!

es un film obscuro

a veces sangriente

y tienso

y un headfuck total!

pero deja de decir pinche 'obvio!'

The world's WORST place names

all fine and good

but what about sweatiwartibollockslandia?

or...

word of the weak - retromingency

Noun

retromingency (uncountable)

The characteristic of urinating backwards, present in certain animals.

Theme from Banger F.C.

nb. not just mark e smith and your granny on bongos

the fall put out all kinds of songs over their epic career

(even more than former band members!)

with plenty of it being fucking hard work

(unless you are are a HARDcore suffering-for-my-arty-type fanster)

and there have been numerous that banged

perhaps none moreso than theme from sparta fc

a contrarian to the end

mark smiths skillz with lyricz

were truly formidable

and his ever revolving carousel of sidepeoples

knew how to crank out quality tunes 

before he made their tenure unbearable

and they joined the wikipedia list

of the fallen

and they left us with an intimidatingly impressive oeuvre...

heres looking at your cheap synthetic jacket

les bleus ou les blueueueueues?

pendant qu'on parle de foot...

ouaip, c'est genial!

aussi les femmes savent jouer au foot...

bish bash BOSH!

out of the way pasty puny attention seeking scrote!

map tiwb Llundain yn brythonig

rhufeinwyr dwp, sacsoniaid anglo, normaniaid ac ati!

fel y dywedai alan partridge-

Ewch i Lundain, rwy'n gwarantu y byddwch naill ai'n cael eich mygio neu ddim yn cael eich gwerthfawrogi. Daliwch y trên i Lundain, gan aros yn gwrthod, siomiant, cefn drywanu ganolog a parcffordd breuddwydion chwalu. 

potuit haberet, haberet, debet haberet no. 7 volubilis

 

quando ero in morroco

visitando il grand amico ismael

e migliorando il mio francese

volevo visitare tutto

(come sempre)

volevo andare nel sud

e vedere i capri negli alberi

e vedere agadir

a marrakech

la citta turistica piu famosa del paese

(e ci sono stato per una mezz'ora nei sobborghi)

(efuckingviva!)

ma immaginavo che almeno avrei potuto visitare a volubilis

che e vicino a meknes

e avevo progetti di andare a meknes!

volubulis e la rovina di una citta antica berbera/romana

dal terzo secolo!

era facile da visitare da meknes

come una escursione di un giorno

e avevo un giorno libero 

prima di andare al grande tour alla sahara etc

 

ma

non stavo benissimo

e non potevo rischiare a perdere le grande tour

quindi non ci sono andato

queste scelte mi uccidono

l'ho rischiato in sri lanka

ed e andato bene

ma non si fucking sa mai..

sic vale volubilis!

Feathers or Mentalists in Egypt

tough times in old cairo town

but parents get their kid a magic show for his birthday party

the fam are all there

plus some seedy types from dads work

THEN

the magician turns dad into a chicken!

or does he?

they seek him high and low, low, low

but theres only the clucking chicken!

even the magician is baffled...

يا للقرف!

Nairobbery Half Life

country boy with dreams of actordom

goes to nairobbery to make good

immediately gets literally shaken down for EVERYTHING

falls in with local gangsters

things get hasty

things get tasty

things get nasty

things never get pasty

fuck visiting nairobbery for a giggle

mambo? 

jambo? 

boa!

boeing sont des vrais salauds de menteurs

https://www.edpierson.com/podcast

il vaudrait la peine de boycotter ces batards?

c'est sur de voyager dans leurs avions?

je ne sais pas

mais ils sont les grands fils de putain corporatifs muertriers 

Jesus Built My Banger

Soon I discovered that this rock thing was true...

back in the land of late 20th century bangers

al jorgensens main gig was ministry

and it was heavy, heavy ministering

a lot of it was a bit too industrial for mine

but this particular banger was monstrously catchy

deserving of maximum volume at ALL times

so

grab a beer

put this tune on your music machine of choice

crank it up to max power 

and jump about like a deranged medieval jester on a spectacular dosage of drugs

hey nonny nonny, yeah fuck it!

french bell end famous for climbing up big things

and taking photos of himself

dies by falling off big thing

that he was climbing up

to take a photo of himself

🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷