Tuesday, March 15, 2022
Friday, March 11, 2022
ma mims come avresti potuto?
molti anni fa
quando abitavo nella terra dei draghi
avevo un lavoro di merda
in un maledetto call centre
ma ero fortunato perche lavoravo con la gente geniale
e una delle persone simpatiche era mims
era inglesa e studiavo all'universita di dragolandia
era una tipa divertente
con tanto trucco e i capelli tinti biondi
faceva anche la dj sulla radio locale e dei locali
diceva frasi divertenti come
the blobs, swadder e take a slash
ma adesso fa qualcosa davvero diversa
e un deputato per il partito conservatore britannico
non dico che fa le cose cattive ni che sia una persona cattiva
pero
avere un ruolo significativo in un partito cosi corrotto ed incompetente
cosi immerso nel egoismo dei ricchi e le corporazioni giganti
nella indifferenza ai poveri, i vulnerabile e i malatti
e cha ha inflitto il disastro del brexit
e' molto difficile da capire...
Tuesday, March 08, 2022
gits and shiggles
one really has to admire the gringolandia immigration lot
not only are their front line staff obnoxious buttholes
but also
they sure know how to ask the obvious...
you have to wonder how many people have just fessed up when filling in the forms...
5a. espionage? of bloody course i am
b. government overthrow?- only on wednesdays around brunch time
c. industrial espionage?- cant get enough of it!
6. communist? - my middle name is trotsky
7. nazi? - best ask my uncle adolf
8. deported? - just back from camp x ray! (do black sites count?)
9. fraudulent travel documents?- my other, Russian passport would have all the details, or is it my afghani one? its so hard to keep track!
10. draft dodging? - is nam over yet?
Saturday, March 05, 2022
putin his place
GIC giving the shithead an outstanding 'greasy'
a couple of GICs (gringo in chief) ago
there was a GIC who (shockingly) wasnt a total cunt
sure he was a big fan of killing people by video game
and he didnt/couldnt fix a lot of awful shit wrong with gringolandia
but he wasnt a total cunt
anyrue
he famously was good with people
including with the long time shithead murderous tyrant of mother russia
(dominion!)
in this video he describes mother russia has a 'regional power'
which was kinda correct
but more importantly was a truly epic put down
to said shithead
who believes russia is/was/will always be
a wooooorld power!
and to make MMRGA!
Wednesday, March 02, 2022
hilarious and hopefully a harbinger
mr wannabe big man about town is currently invading a sovereign nation
(us/nato cupidity and chicanery aside)
causing suffering and death aplenty
hes well known for his comic attempts to show off his farcical macho stylings
by posing topless aback horses, flying with geese
and being generally trying to cultivate a tough man image
to hide his pathetic small man shouting at international irrelevance clouds
hopefully his latest act of international cuntery (see chechnya, syria, georgia, ukraine 1)
sees him similarly fall flat on his smug plastic smirking faccia di merda
вільна україна!
Tuesday, March 01, 2022
beavis and butthead do-no. 20 juliana hatfield
dammit butthead why do you always have to tear down everything good in my life?!
Saturday, February 26, 2022
la tusawit lilqarib!
naeam
i was on that festering shit show of a 'boat'
almost everybody got ill
some extremely badly so
even old iron guts got a jelly botty
for days
despite horribly ill people everywhere
management refused to get a doctor
and continued to deny there was a problem
and blamed the mass illness on 'drinking too much and spending too much time in the sun'
investigations proved that many of the ill had got salmonella from the food
and there was faecal matter on several kitchen surfaces
baksheesh my arse
arrogant, contemptuous cunts
still the bloke who worked in the jewellery shop was a good egg
salaam sadiq!
Wednesday, February 23, 2022
Monday, February 21, 2022
Saturday, February 19, 2022
Wednesday, February 16, 2022
¿pero, por qué coño las mujeres espanolas tienen los flequillos ridiculos?
gah!
que asco!
nooo!
que feo!
ya es bastante triste verlos en las calles de espana
pero...
como se ve, tambien las guapas los tienen!
Sunday, February 13, 2022
beavis and butthead do no.19 PJ Harvey
- and you know what they say about having a big nose..
- aw yeah, she problies got a big schlong too!
Saturday, February 12, 2022
Thursday, February 10, 2022
Tuesday, February 08, 2022
Sunday, February 06, 2022
i was so dublin sick of it!
the dublin river liffey
there was a time when i couldnt stop texting about dublin
dublin cool! dublin hell! i was so dublin angry!
back in the late 90s i was late adopting to my first mobile foney
(well, kind of first, the very first one i bought didnt work where i was living (unless i was on top of a fucking behemoth), so i got rid and got this one)
it was pretty exciting being able to send and (sometimes) receive messages with people all over the shop
without having to queue for an internet cafe
(especially as i was a lonely, long way from many of them, in the wilds of wiltshire)
even if it did cost a left ventricle to send OR receive each one.
and predictive text seemed wildly futuristic too
it was super handy as the phones only had the number keys
so otherwise you had the laborious task of dublin 111 for C or 33 for H etc
sadly, the limited tech meant that to change a 'predicted' word, meant you had to painfully go back and change each letter individually
dublin beep! dublin beep!
it was just too much dublin hassle
neither could you teach your phone to remember words
so potty words were a nightmare
and
as any fool who considers it briefly knows
fuck and its variants are the most useful, flexible words in the bastardised frisian/lower saxon that over a billion people use and this is written in
and fuckin/fucken were definite and cherished favourites
hence
every time i was trying to beep beep beeping away at a short, overpriced bit of data in message form.
being a big fan of potty mouthery and wishing to add emphasis to my excitement/anger/joy/boredom/etc
i had no realistic choice except to use the name of the delightful capital of the republic of ireland.
dublin this! dublin that! and dublin your mother!
i only found out years later from one my regular correspondents
that he thought that i was trying to be funny or something
dublin hell!
Saturday, February 05, 2022
Robert Smith de The Cure a través de los años
nunca te has preguntado como era wobby en 1983 o 1999?
usar google es demasiado complicado?
Thursday, February 03, 2022
Monday, January 31, 2022
im gonna eat you little fishy ... no you fucking arent!
I've been so lonely, girl, I've been so sad and down.
Couldn't understand why haters joked around
I wanted to be free with other creatures like me
And now I got my wish...
'Cuz I know that I'm a gay fish gay fish (Gay fish, yo)...
Saturday, January 29, 2022
Monday, January 24, 2022
spot the twat no.13 bonobnoxious
musical champion of smugness, bonobo pox - looking like like a smug twat. (his natural state)
irish megatwat paul hewson aka bonobnoxious has recently claimed that he hated the bands name, most of their songs and the sound of his own voice.
has he joined the views of the rest of the planet with this statement? could this be a sign of self awareness from the most tedious bellend in music?
no, hes probably trying this new 'humble' schtick in an attempt to stay relevant. the twat.
a couple of examples of his galactic sized twattery over the years-
here he is accidentally getting something correct-then chickening out like the big girls blouse he his -
He had a go at Chris Martin from Coldplay, and then backtracked:
I think he’s that good a melodist, but he’s a wanker… He’s obviously a completely dysfunctional character and a cretin.
Then he changed his mind:
I think they [Coldplay] are a great band and actually, it turns out he’s a great soul as well. Sorry about that. I was just joking entirely.
'This is a classic case of the pot calling the kettle black or more specifically a super-wanker calling a semi-wanker a wanker hypocrisy.'
and here he is trying to be cool by singing a bit in spanish-
malparido cabron...
Thursday, January 20, 2022
Tuesday, January 18, 2022
Friday, January 14, 2022
britain was fab in ending slavery in the early 19th century, wasnt it?
NO
in 1807 the slave trade act banned the sale of slaves in the british empire
in 1833 the slavery abolition act banned slavery in the british empire
but
it was only gradually over 6 years
and
The slaves received no compensation
but
in 1833, 20 million pounds - 40 percent of the national budget was used to buy freedom for slaves.
the money was paid to slave owners, many of which were filthy rich families
how many of those families and their descendants are the six toed, born to rule pony fuckers that rule the nation today?
much of this money was borrowed and this debt was not paid off by the taxpayers until 2015!
so fucking NO
Wednesday, January 12, 2022
Monday, January 10, 2022
Sunday, January 09, 2022
Friday, January 07, 2022
Wednesday, January 05, 2022
Sunday, January 02, 2022
coulda shoulda woulda no5 - santorini/akrotiri
the place - santorini, cyclades islands, greece
the protaganist - some muppet
the opportunity lost - see the ruins of akriti, a minoan city destroyed by a super volcano in C16th BCE
the cause - being a muppet
lessons learned - probably not
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