she gives me, 27 hours of hell

 

door to door

shiny spices kumily to home james

27 hours of non stop erotic cabs/planes/wheeeelchairs/shuttle buses/varied document displaying/electronic device/related paraphenalia hurried unpacking/packing

(including bonus interminable hours of waaaiting)

and endless appreciative politeness and small talk

kicking off with 8am (ist) non uber pick up from shiny spices by prabhin

a lazy four hours of single lane mountain detours and spiky cake fillers

arriving at sweaty kochi airport

common or garden variety beaurocratic nonsense followed

with obligatory unpacking/packing of electronic and associated thangs

with plenty of waaaiting

before a short hop to my third home

bengaluru airport

ferrying about until a shuttle bus to terminator wot?

and immigration and unpacking/repacking electro blah

and hours more waaaiting

before big plane time

and an unusual (and no doubt travel induced emotion feeling of patriotism at the sight of a red tail with a white roo insignia)

11+ hours of extreme backannalian discomfort and angst ridden attempts to use seatback audio/visual nonsense

so many good things on offer

only to be stymied by absurd touch screen anomalies

restricting the seemingly bountiful entertainment to digital cursed fuckery

'at least they have good euro films!' 

offered a flash of hope

alas

horrible audio scenario meant beloved language movies couldnt be properly heard

and we dont do english subs with our beloveds

as it sucks all the joy and cheapens years of swottage

and no noise cancelling means few preloaded podcasts are much chop

but hey!

free wifi in cattle class is a miniscule source of joy

occasional seconds/minutes of nod respite make an important difference

with repeated map watching

willing the hours to pass

ups! there goes jassy!

pow! there goes mirna!

this torment finally ends

arriving in the patria

BUT 

just like in the bad old daze

this epic involved a stop off in syderly

still full of wankers

(but always a watery spectacle from the skies)

more immigration/documentary nonsense

and the obligatory unpacking/repacking of electro funkers

only lead to more waaaiting

so close, but so very very far away

another shuttle bus

more small talk and waaaiting

before the shortest of hops to thorn olde town

more ableist shenanigans ensued

but the finish line was in sight

one last stagger

and more tech nonsense

to find my sri lankan tamil saviour

a non substantial jump with a couple of pre planned pit stops

it was all over

and micio suspicion aside

i could relaxxxxxxx

and let this drivel flow...