genghis khans motorbike

genghis khan was getting sick of his old birdie
he just sat there looking mopey
occasionally a brightly coloured feather would fall off
genghis suspected that this wasnt supposed to happen
all the other guys birdies had a killer glint in their eyes
they sharpened their own tallons on razor blades
and were either sheer black or nasty fuck-off brown
and they were a LOT bigger than his
genghis feared that the others were laughing behind his back
luckily he was the scariest mo fo in the area
nobody would dare mock him openly
but still, it didnt feel great
sometimes he wondered if he was over compensating
burning, pillaging, raping, plundering and wearing tight black trousers
those innocent kids in bungholistan didnt really deserve to have their entrails ripped out
then see their father anally raped with them
it probably hadnt been strictly necessary to raze constantinople
he didnt normally count on his beads the number of dead
but of late he had found himself doing so
rather ostentatiously
in front of the generals and higher ranking bastards
it was all well and good to make a chalice from your enemies skulls from which to drink
but genghis k (as his fellow support group members knew him)
had created a giant phallus from skulls
and kept banging on about his nob was bigger than heathrow airport
nobody on the steppes had heard of heathrow
nor knew to put the emphasis on the second syllable
and certainly didnt know what an airport was
they suspected it was another way for genghis to hide his shame
who called a budgie 'motorbike' anyway?
despite innumerable meetings over oxen carcass soup
nobody had the courage to tell genghis khan that his hunting falcon
was really a budgie
with eczma
with ingrowing claws
with a giant wart on its left pupil
with syphillis
and an over-developed sense of self
that it had probably contracted by playing 'who's a pretty birdie' with mrs khan
so on those windswept plateaus
when the night retreated unwillingly
the great men all got their hunting birds out for a sesh of 'falconing'
genghis complained about motorbikes umpteenth 'headache'
and skulked back to his tent looking surly
with his few panadeine forte rattling in his bison trousers
the tenderness he felt for motorbike outstripped his shame
again and again