Let's form a company

The stupidest job in the world...
my duties entailed,
standing just inside the front doors of a large electronics store and welcoming everybody who came into the store.
It lasted 3 Saturdays.
People would say hello and then they would ask me a question
unfortunately as i knew nothing about the place
and wasn't permitted to know anything. 'Not necessary!'
I wasn't qualified to answer them
Some people would just wonder what that guy was standing there for.
Even when all the SALES staff were busy
I was not allowed to attempt to help customers
My only duty was to meet them and greet them upon entry
Oh, I nearly undersold the position
I could also farewell them as they left the store.
I'm lucky I didn't need a phrasebook
Good Morning. Hello. Welcome to Soulless Bastard's. Nice Portfolio
Goodbye. Farewell. Thankyou. See you again. Yeah, and your Mummy!
Strangely, I was ostracised by other staff members.
who would whisper behind their hands,
Just what does he think he's doing in my blender section!
What's with the funny accent? He sounds like a freak!
He doesn't really mean it when he says 'Good morning'
If I catch that bloke in amongst my big screen tellies again, there will be trouble.
Bloody fancy pants, think's he is sooo clever coz he greets people
I greet people all week, you don't see me without my waistcoat on!
If i ever took a fag break, the others would huddle 5 metres away
if i approached them, they would look surly and talk about some strange sport with lingo that I could never understand.
Until I gave up, then it was back to 'your maaaaams' for all
I found myself staring out the big sliding glass doors.
Ruminating over the pointlessness of Everything.
After the first day I was in a state of shock.
So, I just stand here, all day, say hello to people and wear this dumb badge.
Is this it? Can I not try to help people?
No. that is not part of your remit.
You are part of a bold new venture for the company.
We have never before had a designated meeter and greeter
We hope to bring more of a personal touch to the company
(they were hoping for a pretty bird)
You may meet and greet people e basta!
After the third Saturday they let me down gently.
We are sorry it hasn't worked out.
We appreciate your best efforts.
But we deem the post ineffective.
Best of wishes
Don't forget to come back in March when the big sale is on!
Oh the heartbreak...