anyone for tennis ball?

syncopated lavatories

'nuff said

for betta o worse

'fidel is like a big brother to the cubans' she said
'spanish is my first language' she said
she said so much crap
when there was no need
she had a girl called Troy
she had a man called Fabbo
he claimed to be a great skater
he claimed to have come from key land
he claimed to know the people behind bastard
he thought he was pretty damn great
she certainly agreed with him
their tiny kitchen's only natural light from was from the central light well
which was shit
they had smashed down two walls
at least to waist height
they had a tiny black tv
with a built in vcr
they had killing zoe on tape
their sojourn had a lovely big window
with huge white curtains that lit up in the sun and flowed in the breeze
she worked in a hopital
not a medical boney in her m
he probably worked in a bank
smash the state man
she wasn't stupid
but she sure didn't act very smart
she meant well
he meant well
he had an entire book in photocopy form
and a political bent
she had one too
but it was his

the news tonight is just...

israel kills civilians in gaza for the umpteenth time and thats just fine then apparently
the US says well done for killing them
hamas promises big war... evil fuckers for being angry about being royally rogered by an entire planet!
their religious shit is pretty damn fucked tho
egypt says israel are pricks, at last some fuckers are standing up to them!
another faceless prick takes over the role of china head despot..
US general patreaus sacked coz of shagging a chick, and thats a first for anybody in a position of power in gringolandia!
spanish, portuguese, italians and greeks peoples come out in massive numbers and protest hugely at being fucked by their governments in the name of racketeering banks
burma still-not-yet leader, super cool ang sung etc goes to india to trot out platitudes
argentinian navy ship detained in ghana coz they owe money to cayman island banks!  poor ickle banks with mo money!
obama craps on about deficit, a measly $1.5 trillion ...  trifling!
romney says more racist shit about black people and hispanics who were naughty not voting for his rightwing lunacy
and to finish it off, a woman in ireland dies because she couldn't get an abortion in ireland because it's a catholic country..


so the world is just peachy innit?

face off? no, it's beard off...

this semi-competent acting doofus and his completely, totally and utterly incompetent beard...

how much can a... errr... water... bear?

a helluva lot!
this fucker that looks like it was made by a deranged kid with a vacuum cleaner bag and a large packet of smack is completely serial.
and they are tough mofos too
as my good mate Bob Wikipedia tells it:
"Tardigrades are able to survive in extreme environments that would kill almost any other animal. Some can survive temperatures of close to absolute zero, or 0 Kelvin (−273 °C (−459 °F)),^[8] temperatures as high as 151 °C (304 °F), 1,000 times more radiation than other animals,^[9] and almost a decade without water.^[10] Since 2007, tardigrades have also returned alive from studies in which they have been exposed to the vacuum of space for a few days in low Earth orbit.^[11][12] Tardigrades are the first known animal to survive in space."

Britain is bad mmmkay?

poster from vichy france showing how big bad britain is trying to rule africa etc and being stopped by heroic fascists!

Willian.... It was really nothing

well it was 2-3 anyway...

Endless Street (with apple logies to Iggy)

Oh baby, what a place to be
In the Endless Street Doctors' Surgery
Where can my local GP be?
I wanna jump onto Endless Street

Oh, oh Endless Street
Oh, oh Endless Street
I wanna jump onto Endless Street
Let the bus run over me

Above us is a cloudy sky
Full of chavs and liquors
A pished girl, a wankered guy
These nobs can't get much thicker

Oh, oh Endless Street
Oh, oh Endless Street
Oh, oh Endless Street
Let the cars run over me

And when you're tight for muffin
Gotta get to Endless Life Cafe
But your model plane is just no damn good
Just another trip to Endless Models, hey?

You better go to Castle Cameras, buddy
I really think,
You better go to Salisbury Bus Station, buddy
You better go to the Salisbury Arms, buddy

Endless Street




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endless steak < endless sushi < endless street < endless iggy

(with added hutchence)

current steak?

that's right

it serves you right
any
that's right
it serves you right
that's right
it serves you right
that's right
it serves you right


and that's it


the height of nu music
but weight
sti
any second now

waiting

waiting
waiter..........
waaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiter
ah
what are we waaaaiiiiiiting for?


it's coming
....
some kind of oho hohohohohhohoh



but wait!

still waiting...


a bit of eddie...

ahhh squeal

...


whelm...

well, whadaa you know...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3X2ALG9iGPg
disabled embedding..
twats

and Kim is off...

Kim Salmon left the building today
you probably didn't even know that he was visiting
you probably didn't even know he existed
nor that he was some kind of SwampRock legend
communque
he left today
well he was placed in the general leaving department
in the airlock
if we were a'speakin in hitchhikers guide to the galaxy terms
most likely tomorrow he will move on into the vacuum of space
if we were continue with the same old blah blah
then in a couple of days he will be gone for good
Kim has been hanging about for nigh on 20 years
which is a pretty good innings
when you are made out of cotton
a young laydeee
which I once knew quite well
got an identical one
fancy fookin that
entonces
thanks for the good times Kim
sorry mate but i had no choice
gotta at least make a token effort to keep currant bun
a holier than thou has to go sooner or later
I WANNNA MOOOOOOVE!

balls and fields

every now and again there is a song
not just a song
coz they are here all the fucking time
and most of them are shit
more than shit
they are uber shit
but
every now and again
good phrase that
one hears a song that is just so ....
luvverly
U
double V
not just lovely
better still than loverly
(which admittedly sounds rather hard)
but yes
luvverly
and this is one of those
its luvverly
LUVVERLY
just bluddy luvverly

swoon.....

t is for...

no,
its not for trevor
its not for travellator
its not for transitory
nor for trastevere
nor triptych
nor trellis
no
none of those
neither for trophy
neither for truncated
neither for trastorno
nonesuch

entonces chavez continua por 6 anos mas...

y así continua hacer esto (arriba) con el enorme patrimonio de recursos nacionales de venezuela...
fucking suspiro!

shortly before my detection...

shortly before my erection...

ha ha fucking ha!

shortly before my election

shortly before my election to president of the planet

my advisors advised me (as they do)

to come clean about any unsavoury business that might be used against me

the kind of thing that the baddies in the opposition might dig up

i decried

never!

fuck your buttocklegs!

but after a little reflection ponding

it became clear that tenian razon

all those acts of rhino buggery might play out badly in the public light

might give those zoroastrian fundamentalists to get their crank on about

not to mention ending a sentence with a preposition

fuck, it was just mentioned

all those times that i injected splat into my nob end

but never inhaled

the countless episodes of procuring prostitutes

to wash my bike

the times i said 'insert country here' sucks big dogs bollocks

my membership of the Goats That Snog Humans Badly Party

all the holy texts i had vomited on

deliberately

all the video of declaring undying devotion to our new alien overlords

whichever ones that arrive

i was prepared to sign up to any of 'them'

all the legs and trunks that i had devoted to satan with my bizarre nasal ritual

and of course when i said that all 

white

black 

pink

azure

brown 

and most importantly

beige people

smelled like cabbage boiled down for 17 hours 

and left in the sun for a week

then mixed with quadropaedal shit

only to be bottled 

then mixed with rupert murdochs genes

and catapulted into space

in my patent pending happy family go further catapult

to be returned to the planet

and ingested by an ant eater of the amazonian kind

who had a penchant for old, warm and flat beer

and dropped the mayan civilisation ending lunch

were a bit 

well...

shit.

onwards and westwards

fellow travellers

true believers

great steppers forwarders

five (min) year planners

in your eye causality!