that's right

it serves you right
any
that's right
it serves you right
that's right
it serves you right
that's right
it serves you right


and that's it


the height of nu music
but weight
sti
any second now

waiting

waiting
waiter..........
waaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiter
ah
what are we waaaaiiiiiiting for?


it's coming
....
some kind of oho hohohohohhohoh



but wait!

still waiting...


a bit of eddie...

ahhh squeal

...


whelm...

well, whadaa you know...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3X2ALG9iGPg
disabled embedding..
twats

and Kim is off...

Kim Salmon left the building today
you probably didn't even know that he was visiting
you probably didn't even know he existed
nor that he was some kind of SwampRock legend
communque
he left today
well he was placed in the general leaving department
in the airlock
if we were a'speakin in hitchhikers guide to the galaxy terms
most likely tomorrow he will move on into the vacuum of space
if we were continue with the same old blah blah
then in a couple of days he will be gone for good
Kim has been hanging about for nigh on 20 years
which is a pretty good innings
when you are made out of cotton
a young laydeee
which I once knew quite well
got an identical one
fancy fookin that
entonces
thanks for the good times Kim
sorry mate but i had no choice
gotta at least make a token effort to keep currant bun
a holier than thou has to go sooner or later
I WANNNA MOOOOOOVE!

balls and fields

every now and again there is a song
not just a song
coz they are here all the fucking time
and most of them are shit
more than shit
they are uber shit
but
every now and again
good phrase that
one hears a song that is just so ....
luvverly
U
double V
not just lovely
better still than loverly
(which admittedly sounds rather hard)
but yes
luvverly
and this is one of those
its luvverly
LUVVERLY
just bluddy luvverly

swoon.....

t is for...

no,
its not for trevor
its not for travellator
its not for transitory
nor for trastevere
nor triptych
nor trellis
no
none of those
neither for trophy
neither for truncated
neither for trastorno
nonesuch

entonces chavez continua por 6 anos mas...

y así continua hacer esto (arriba) con el enorme patrimonio de recursos nacionales de venezuela...
fucking suspiro!

shortly before my detection...

shortly before my erection...

ha ha fucking ha!

shortly before my election

shortly before my election to president of the planet

my advisors advised me (as they do)

to come clean about any unsavoury business that might be used against me

the kind of thing that the baddies in the opposition might dig up

i decried

never!

fuck your buttocklegs!

but after a little reflection ponding

it became clear that tenian razon

all those acts of rhino buggery might play out badly in the public light

might give those zoroastrian fundamentalists to get their crank on about

not to mention ending a sentence with a preposition

fuck, it was just mentioned

all those times that i injected splat into my nob end

but never inhaled

the countless episodes of procuring prostitutes

to wash my bike

the times i said 'insert country here' sucks big dogs bollocks

my membership of the Goats That Snog Humans Badly Party

all the holy texts i had vomited on

deliberately

all the video of declaring undying devotion to our new alien overlords

whichever ones that arrive

i was prepared to sign up to any of 'them'

all the legs and trunks that i had devoted to satan with my bizarre nasal ritual

and of course when i said that all 

white

black 

pink

azure

brown 

and most importantly

beige people

smelled like cabbage boiled down for 17 hours 

and left in the sun for a week

then mixed with quadropaedal shit

only to be bottled 

then mixed with rupert murdochs genes

and catapulted into space

in my patent pending happy family go further catapult

to be returned to the planet

and ingested by an ant eater of the amazonian kind

who had a penchant for old, warm and flat beer

and dropped the mayan civilisation ending lunch

were a bit 

well...

shit.

onwards and westwards

fellow travellers

true believers

great steppers forwarders

five (min) year planners

in your eye causality!

peddle me wot?

saw this show not at all that long ago... quite a magnificent madman!

so we meet again mr julian

On the weekend I met up with an old friend
well not completely old
but if he were a dog
you could say he's pushing on a bit
I hadn't seen him since we first met
on another continent
in another hemisphere
actually that might be in two other hemispheres?
we were introduced by a mutual friend
a lovely lady by the name of anel
she had known him for what i imagine was a looooong time
and she seemed to know pretty damn well
and knowing anel was a lady of class and refinement
he and I were bound to get on
i bumped into him back here in my ole home toon
at another mutual friends place
small world hey?
i was visiting my old mucker dan murphy
and there he was
just lounging about looking cool as ever
like nothing had changed
and we weren't on the other side of the world
not even mildly surprised to see me
so i took him back to my friends place
and introduced him
they all got on just fine
although mr julian does come over a bit on the strong side
and his forceful nature meant they weren't immediately enamoured with him
but hey
horses for corsairs
great to see you again mr julian
but tis a pity your price has more than tripled since last we met
you old whore!

steep throat

fucking ouch!

privy and scullery

privy
scullery
two top notch words there
privy
as in
old privy breath
not to be confused with privy
as in privy council
or
privy to information
scullery
the room that used to be next to the kitchen
where dishes and clathes were washed
what happened to the privy?
where did the scullery go?
is this the reason for the decline of western civilisation?
we don't know where to go poop poop
nor where to go washy washy
not like in the good old days
where pooping and washing locations were clear as a claro thing
nobody poop pooped in the scullery
or washy washied in the lavatory
decadence
godbotheringness
great unwashedness
slartibartfastness
we are doomed!

broomhilda the XIth

there we were
broomhilda XIth and I
sitting on a bed
side by side
strangely we were colleagues
and this bed seemed was in the office
she had very curly brown hair
shoulder length
but how long are shoulders?
and a daughter who had the normal amounts of legs
and claimed to be of a certain credence
or a certain extraction
married to a cloth eared bunt?
i didn't give a toss
we drove on into the eve
(dozy cow should have got out of the way)
it all looked peachy
through a rose coloured windscreen
driving south 'round midnight, man I must have been insane
we're heading south
we're heading south again
i looked for a band
or a faith
not sure if one was located
it turned out she was a magictrix
she put her hand on my leg
and I turned into a motel...

speaking of bokko

Who can help us now?
The People's Poet!

my second cousin thrice removed...

went to internet london
and all I got was this lousy blog...

BOKKO!!!

lesbian supermarket

once upon a time i went to a lesbian supermarket
how did i know it was lesbian you don't ask even slightly?
well it shacked up/cohabited with a very spunky lady cafe
and they weren't just wearing the wrong trousers if you know what i mean!
its my fave supermarket in all the lands
except the other ones
thus i have cruised its aisles many a time before
seeking out the good pecorino, snaffling the quality sugo and scoring the spicy salami
you may have guessed its an italianish supermarket
good guessing you
give yourself a smack on the dorsal spine
italianish supermarkets are naturally the best
due to the fact that italian food is naturally the best
oi! shut it mexicans, thais, japanese and lots of other great kitchens!!!
but this was the first time i had noticed it was lesbian
it's just...
well...
hard to know where you stand sometimes in a lesbian supermarket
you feel you know your supermarket and then you realise it was all quite superficial
add seinfeld line here.
sure she's still as cool
she's way to chilled too get angry man hater on us blokey customers

and I'm sure we can get along just great

just how i do with the lesbian bar.... aaahhh ahhhhh

eyerony

from the totality of 2 cameras used in Nicaragua/Mexico this is the ONLY photo that remains.
Taken in the reception of a hostel in mexico city, the chick who worked there had a lovely smile but turned out to be a rather unpleasant and miserable carnt...

kulchural references

spot the difference
one of these men was king carlos IV of spain, whose abdication heralded (sort of) the end of absolute monarchy in Spain.
the other is principal Ed Rooney from Ferris Bueller's Day off

nb nil points for the 'tache it is not a valid difference

not ruby wax

saw this the other day
apparently it's directed by the same dude who did little miss sunshine of the spotless toilet seat
which was pretty fab
i think
so ruby wotsit was rally quite enjoyable
with good surrealism to make the brain go tick tock clunk
if your brain works as smoothly as this one
both the protagonists were good
but at various times i felt they both needed a good punch in the face
(not that violence is etc)
him for being such a nerdy twat
and her for having that STUPID plain-jane haircut
and another for good measure for being sooo cutesy
and the dude who played his brother was excellent
showed outstanding maggoty qualities
Steve Coogan was a brilliant pretentious slimebag
and antonio de bandido seemed to make the female style audience members very giggly
with some pretty basic come comedying
strange that...
But i can confidently proclaim that;
if you only see one film this year
make sure you take off your sunglasses