things that i might possibly have seen at pico bolivar

what was on offer from the pico.... somebody else kindly took a photo for me to steal




the teleferico to pico avila, as seen by somebody with a camera that clearly wasnt me





Galipan, somebody who is not me having a fab time and getting strawberry and cream thingy with the grease injected directly into it


apparently you can see the sea from up there too, i cant find a photo of theeeeees... but it was all foggy so i didnt see a cazzo

but you can at .... http://wikimapia.org/2093313/es/Parque_%C3%81vila_M%C3%A1gica
zoom out for extra fun slices of context!

sightseeing with Luis on martes

thats me on the horse, pointing at some flying nachos... over.... there...

got a bit of a shock today
was thrown in to a bit of a prob
not for the first
Vanessas dad Luis showed up
apparently to take me sightseeing
around 2pm
I had no idea about this
by rights i should have been out doing errands before i buggered off ....
tonight
but vanessa had to work
it was very hard to explain that i couldnt do much
what with my bad spanish
his not existent english
and ignorance of my happy sitch the world over
and the lovely bloke had just come half way across town for me
so i just had to make the most of it
we walked to the metro station
trained it to the station at plaza venezuela
well at least a km down the road
and then we hoofed it up the street
it was a big old plaza
with a big round concrete thing in the middle
i couldnt figure out what it was
and luis couldnt figure out what on earth i was on about
a bit of a let down really
we then went to the universidad central of caracas or something
i believe it won some unesco awared the 60s
i dont know why
it was nice and green and all that
but not that exciting
it was bluddy big tho
and took lots of walking about
including the plaza of the rector
which didnt do much for me
after we had traversed the biggest university in venezuela
and maybe the universe
we went to the ciudad del unversidad metro station
and trained it to bandera station
we then hoofed it down to la procedes
a big arsed monument come boulevard with fountains and all looked after nicey
impressive
but these things ring a little hollow if you have spent long enough in europe
seeing monuments by the buttload
and fountains by the culo load
it is a big old monument to the liberation and stuff
and it the end was a huge parade ground cum street
with stands and stuff
for watching soldiers walk by
that, i have never seen before
a little disquieting
i got told off by a soldier for going where i shouldnt have
then i waited for the big fountain to kick off
and went and stood in the spray
which was great coz it was bluddy hot
well i did the tourist thing
and i hope like hell i havent todgered myself by trying to be agreable
it was way way way over my limit
and i am supposed to be doing lots more stuff tomorrow
before starting my insane bus trip
and the other insane stuff
brrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

something about rodent buses

it all seems to be doing something about something
after a week and a half of slothing about caracas or is that crackis?
ive 3 weeks of action
went up to avila on the funicular thingy yesterday
its over 2000 metres
right next to the city
mindblowing views on the way up
but at the top it was all fog fog fog
bit like when i went up table mountain
pants
but then we got in a carrish thing and went down the mountain a bit to a fab little town
called... galipan
there were loads of farmery shops
where the locals who grow fruit and flowers flog their wares
i had some fab soup with bits in it
and bought some super flowers for simona, vanessas mum
as opposed to simona, the lady with 18 noses
from this cool old dude who looked a bit like a gaucho
who grew them himself
sunflowers, eucalyptus, some other cool red things, some white things...some pink things...
its all au go go around here
pity i didnt actually use my brain once or twice
then i would have sorted out malaria medication
as one is supposed to do
but it seems i will shortly be off for a big exciting trip to salto angel and canaima, to see the worlds hairiest beerstones and float about in the middle of the jungle....
followed by a few days of looking at people with sticks and hopefully piranhas and groovy naturish stuff in the orinocco delta...
after a couple more days back in crackis
going to schnaa caribbean beach for a few days at morrocoy
then hopefully going down to merida
to go up to cinco mil metres on a funiculooooar
so put that in your llama skin booties and give him a hoofrub
all i need to do now is do all that stuff i should have done aeons ago

pues, entonces... bueno

err vanessa lives in here somewhere...

esta es el mi primero blog en español
que lastima que no tengo nada de original de decir
no es que esta situacian es nada de neuvo
pero
no perro
por que es un animal
tambien sin el accento
hoy fui al pico avila
pero fue todo nubes
non vee nada
pero soy muy contento
es la prima vez que hago el turista en la semana
y fui con la mi amiga vanessa
una muchacha tan simpatica
que es casi increible
compre las flores por la simona
una mujer demasiada amable
quiero que poderia escriber en el tiempo futuro
cada dia esta idioma se pone siempre meno un mistero por mi
es dificil separalo del´italiano por me
por que son muy similar
y la mi primera piensero en un idioma no ingles
es siempre en italiano
tambien ahora mientre escribo esto
antes
compre doce cervezas brahma light
pero la vanessa non gusta la cerveza
todavia le debo beber todo
que pena
y entonces son la dos y medio de la manana
y estoy siempre aqa
no se si se escribe asi
pues
escucho a una banda
que si llama la iglesa
almenos creo que es asi
hoy no estude el español
por que estoy flojo
como siempre
el spencer es a la playa
vamos a la playa
come dico aquel tipo de potosi
que se enseño el ingles
es justo fino el labyrinto del fauno
que pelicula bonita
debria mirala en castellano
pero estoy flojo
y si.... CHRIS WADDLE
hasta a la proxima

one of these people is the hero of a continent - can you guess which one?

Simon Julian, Liberatador de los cinco pollos



Simon Bolivar, Liberatador de los cinco paises

vanessa said i couldn´t go and play....

yesterday morning a dozen blocks away in sunny downtown cararacas...
http://youtube.com/watch?v=MCOQF_HRIiI
http://youtube.com/watch?v=9WFk0VHaPLY

me, look like a CIA spy?
she just wanted to have all the fun for herself..

the amazing true story of butt spencer

this is NOT Vanessa's brother, who dances special salsa...

there once was a dodgy, big and hairy american actor
i think it was in the 1970´s by the look of the facial hair
it seems he was famous in venezuela
i dont recall him
but i got stuck at the cannonball run
his charms were so great that a lady in caracas decided to name her newborn son after him
except she got the name slightly wrong
unlike the grate man
the one and only Bud Spencer
she named him Butt Spencer
and its all true...

un corso intensivo

the flesh is willing but the mind is weak
ive decided to study my butt off at spanish
im doing a page and a half of one of my books a day
and half a chapter of the other
its enormous...
but ive gotta get in there
coz i know i wont bother with ththththth after i bog off from here
soy demasiado flojo
bebe
sooo many nouns
sooo many verbs
sooo many adjectives
sooo much bloody todos
asi puedo escribir un blog en castellaño
with the ñ
did you see the ñ?
yeah i did that ñ all by myself
the question is, can i make it all stick or will i end up with a big mess of stuff that i cant make sense of?
cuidate!
it´ll be peachy
...
ive also been ruuuuuuuuuuuuing a large mistake made by dint of slackness
i could have brought loads of foreign currency and made a killing
the black market rate is more than double the official
so depending on how much i spend... i will probably be at least 500 smeckers out of pockit
que stupido!
plans keep mutating
shoud have done research
stupido!
was going to do a 2 day trip to las sabana
and 2 days on isla margarita
but then i discovered that wasnt all kosher
and the prices are dublin enormous!
tercero mundo? el mi culo!!!
much heftier than oz for touristy stuff....
berga y conio!
time for big time research time
...
went to rich persons shopping centre the other night
to visit vanessas boyfriend and his parents
via shopping centre...
que mierda que son
oscar is not the grouch
v knowledgable dude and his parents are huge polyglots that filled me with plantain chips and scotch
and give me info overload about places to see here and in colombia
brrrrrrrrrrrrrr
we played escrabble, a bit like scrabble really
rather tricky considering my extremely limited vocab in spanish... lucky i had soapstar help
mrs oscar told me whats going on with chavez and his issues with wealthy people
it rung all astrange
way too similar to the zimbabwe thing with wealth redistribution
not a comfortable way to live

not a cyrillic adaption

me and the lads having a few polar beers....

theres a super breeze coming in today
the sky is grey
and its blowing away-a nanosecond at a time
the humidity that envelopes me
last night i went to a pool hall
called dominoes
with vanessa, her brother spencer and her friend jota
its was great fun
there was dodgy latino music pumping at extraordinary levels
the kind that would normally drive me nuts
but somehow it was really cool
the patrons were all shaking their hips
i may have learned something that day
i had to wear jeans
which felt like an analogy gone wrong
we got stuck into the beers
but they only had the baby sized ones
not even a babycham
i played like a dios
until i finished the first beer
when naturally i started playing like rubbish
plus la change
there were waitress like birds wearing purple vests and ridiculously tight white trousers
which were designed to show their latin culos in a big way
i kept being amazed how much i was enjoying the music and the atmosphere
the latin blokes huffing and puffing and parading around like peacocks
didnt get on my tits much at all
the girls with their incy wincy tops on
didnt get on my tits at all
OOH ANOTHER NIGHT...
yes another night
we go the metro
amazingly clean and efficient
not at all like the tercero mundo
2 nights back we went to el leone
which is castellano for breeze legs
and sat in this marvellous outdoor area
in the snug warmth with yummy beers
polar light, polar not light
and big bad polar mummy bear beer
we at tequanos which are sort of stick pastry things with melted mozzarella in them
and eventually i met jose
how was sitting with some of his mates
who all spoke english
especially one prat who thought he was being funny trying to take the piss out of the gringo by making up bullshit stories
he didnt get too far
i was feeling a bit sketchy so i didnt bother playing along
the traffic the traffic
the bloody traffic
la gente la gente
you gotta admire their ambiguous references...

estoy siempre un pochito cansado... bebe

hola mundo
outside of the window there is a fantastic view of buildings cars and people swarming about the place
its a hot and sweaty day today in caracas
like the 2 that preceded it
and perhaps the 20000' that preceded it too
my head is swimming with spanish words that i am trying to absorb at an allarming rate
it seems that in 2 days i have already got a tenuous working grip on spanish
if my interlocutors speak despacio and clearly
which isnt as easy as it sounds
it is quite a skill to learn
to speak simply to non madre lingua speakers
this family is so kind to me
vanessa speaks good english
(nothing to do with me)
spencer, the brother understands quite a bit
mum and dad... well not so much
swimming, doggy paddling around in circles
just keeping my head above water
with all this new information
so many words look and sound like italian
its like ive got a 50 percent head start
just gotta get some more verbs sorted
remember the various conjugations for past, future and conditional... maybe
muchas cosas
arecho baby
yesterday vanessa took me for a wander around the centre of caracas
fascinating
its been too long since i set foot in a place like this
the chaos, the smells, the traffic, the street vendors
the objects of familiarity that arent familiar after all
we straggled through shops and malls
down hot humid streets
this place certainly is alive
we went to a nice parque
and to the fauna museum
or something like that
with loads of cool info about the indigenous fauna and peoples
and the ambiente
v interesting
surely this is what life is made for
today im going to try to find a bank that doesnt ask for a stupid id code
and going out tonight with vanessa, spencer and her boyfriend oscar to el leone a groovy pub apparently
where i will catch up with jose too
much sweating to do before then

simon

The Far Side, Brixvegas, this was created with love on the top floor, behind the small square window...

apparently we can write waht we want .... / well thats usually a welcome opportunity for me to spout on for hours about what i thnk is worth spouting on about - and usually gives Simon the opportunity to say , " what the fuck" , "shut the fuck" or something equally australian and Simon like. But now I have a free reign to say what the " fuck " I like...

and I am normally Never stuck for wordfs. I dont think chicken neck , bottles of wine and guiness helps but the wrds are starting to blur..

but words that do spring to mind are : cocophony , blah , sex with whoever, jaribe de paulo, italia , la flaca, wild turkey , fast cars on snowy roads, very BAD tasting peyote, sexy french jazz bands, SMILES and tall trees, paisley shirts , ALANIS - hahahahhaha - , rubbishhhhh - talking it , Foood , a lost book of mexico , virgin shagging , CruMble Guts... , Fgood, Bicken Chins and al lot lot more...

if memories are the petrol of our life we shall surely be chugging away for a long long time my dear winkle pickle wearing Australian goon...

If life were simple , and I mean simple not in the way James Joyce meant it, we would just be all togther , sitting and talking shit until those winkle pickers turned an ugly shade of brown and melted into the glowing members of our friends for 50p a throw.. and heretherandeverafter my love and winklekisses, Cx

eddie grant puo ciucciare i miei calzini

if they knew i were coming, they would have put on some coloured clothes and decorations...

then i took it higher....

not quite rocking down to nearby electric avenue

lahndahn town is here
so am i
above the far side
the pub
not the comic strip
catherines little place
very cute
and on top of a pub!
in brixton
in lahndahn
a treeep to the laundrette
the marquis of lorne
another traditional old english pub
there are no riots
there are no rich people
there is electric avenue
the very first place in the uk where there was electricity
i learned that today
you know i learned something today...
meet joe black is in telly
a proper pub lunch was had downstairs
with hoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooergarten
feeling kinda seedy
after a late night megabus trip from brisvegas
smokin and drinkin and natterin
talkin the talk
drinkin the red red wine
and red stripe with no cup
then red red rooster wine
slovak spirit
whacky macedonian benzina
catalan creme
other things in groovy bottles with plantlife in tow and faces off
eng bok
didnt get that much of it
v little schleep
munty me
johhnnny
we worry
wont he go on home
from his date with heimi henderson

i look like nicole kidman, almeno e´quello che crede la ste´

Can YOU guess what I am thinking?

ththththth

it rained today is brisvegas
didnt do much
when to the local italian deli
bit dodgy really
prosciutto too thick
mozzarella too bland
piss taking pronto brothers
slept most of the day
stayed up late last night
went to the cadbury
with chris and faisel
no chocolate
groovy pub
curry and pint or 6.50
a visit to ems
a visit to juice
a juice to visit in the pub
she was there
the bar bird looked kinda snaky
and kind of skinny
they asked everybody to move along please
back to juicy and joelandia
for spliff and limoncello
then the thun red line til late
couldnt sleep much
nfi why
quick run down on other things
a couple of nights by the juice in her nice warm house
a couple of nights by the em in her new fab place
a beet of water and stuff all over the shoppe
benji is big with loadsa hair
house is big
with loadsa white and rooms and a great big garden
silly worta making life tricky
yoda is still a luffly miss
just hanging with peeps
hardly riveting stuff

viva brisvegas

The Cadbury house, Richmond Rd, Brisvegas... where nobody lives nearby
emmas house-10 metres further down the road
juicy's house-where the photo was taken from, about 20 metres up the road
jims house-100 metres up the road on the left
Faisels house-120 metres down the road on the left
chriss house-one street down, about 50 metres up the road




sitting in juicy and joe lounge room
here is comfy brisvegas
arrived thursday late
milano malpensa to brisvegas intervallo
juicy and joe come pick me up
what a luvverly feeling
back to casa loro
for beers steers and queers
and a chat
tired juicy goes orf to bed coz shes gotta go to work
next day, not a lot
watch some vids
play on the internerd
eat some munch and make a short trip to the pubbage
emma drops by looking worse for wear
all is good
friday not gone to chris's
crashing at ems fab new pad
with stuff all over the place
including floor on watttta
a luvverly garden
a charming yodacina
all bright shiny houses
big and not bad
drinking wine
eating proper traditional english curries
and the juice loosener smokey bear
between ems and juices there is about 20 metres
or 23 yards
if you are into that kind of thing
and a fab pub
rumoured to be amongst the best in town
the cadbury
big big big beer garden
with pool table and lots of smokers
look
over that fence
its ems place
benji is big
and his hair is bigger
im orf

belin post

ah cazzo, sono in ritardo
sono le 16:49
e devo uscire dalla casa di erik fra 10 minuti
volevo fare un riepologo blog
di queste 3 settimane
e soppratutto di quello 4 giorni un po strani
beh, ormai è troppo tardi
quindi scrivo questo
quanto mi piace questo paese
in 3 settimane mi sono ricordato tanto di perche mi piace cosi tanto
anche perche mi rompe le palle
sono molto contento
la prossima volta che scrivo sara in inghilterra
un mondo diverso
ma non troppo
forse la mia mente avra cambiato marcia
e scrivo in thththththththhhhh
puodarsi...

the blog about doing a blog when you are just about to go out and have dinner blog

last night
la la la la
i had apertivo with mo e ste
in a luvverly vicolo leading down from piazza della meridiana del culo
had a nice wander across the haunted town
past porta soprana
down the rampage thing
groovy chinese type statues all over piazza de ferrari
down via qualcosa di aprile
then thru fontane marose and down via garibaldi or strada nuova
depending on whether you live in a port city that makes the bottom point of the industrial triangle of the north, joining with torino and milano
or a centuries old maritime republic that trades like demons and runs a piracy racket through most of the med
anyway
columns all over the shop
just as i like it
v happy to see ste again
and v happy to chat with mo
3 timpacos and great free munchies
not that measly bowl of crisps like you get in some places
afterwards i was much delighted to see that via garibaldi is lit up each night now
really is a treat that
also molto contento that the centre is looking cleaner than ever
be
sto per uscire a mangiare da mo
anche lo squilibrato verra
quindi faro' un altro giro nel centro storico
mi sento tutto possessivo
se come fosse un pianto mio o un bebe
tomorrow afternoon its train time to milano malpensa to leave this world behind
at least for the moment
mio dio sone belle... che c'e da fare?

where to stick your bacheca

Via Ravecca, a bit up from Eriks place, photo of Porta Soprana taken with some dodgy postcard filter obviously...

its a lovely sunny day her in la superba
at least at the top of the fucking scale it is...
my brain is still playing fog monsters tho
60 hours later and there i was
marvelling at the stupidity of not connecting the underground platforms of piazza principe station to the metropolitana
hence making passengers go up up and up
before going around around and around
then going back down down and down
to get to the metro
which was in effect about 50 metres away
che stupidaggine
and how about that not big hole in piazza sarzano?
it doesnt look quite right without it
instead theres this gleaming sensible pretty metro station
made me giggle and marvel once again at this fantastic ridiculous city and country
lots of bollacks were spoken on friday night
the padrone di casa went out to a pre arranged appointment that he forgot all about
mr mountains excelled himself at banging on about all kinds of crap
forza mr mountains!
the couch cushions keep moving
bastardi
sabato... boh
dinner at the not at all bonkers nadotti household
involving a lot of head butting over whether or not you can make cheese without the knowhow beforehand or if you can just experiment
it went on for hours
i nearly split a rib trying not to laugh
eveningsong bought out a trip to the bicu
mr mountains and paolino
sitting at this huge table by themselves whilst hordes queued angrily and stared
noemi and daniele
squilibrato and me
later marghco showed up
and a lady who looked kind of familiar
this fab place where they give you fab food
big fucking surprise there...
and these fuckoff big 3 litre thingies of home brewed beer that they plonk on your table and you can help yourself
one can imagine how much i hated that
there was apparently some rugby game on, italia versus scozzia
stupid bottom obsessed game if ever there was one
mr mountains was cranky coz he had a crap view of the crap game
and i kept telling him how crap it was
fistsful of this bowser thingsies later there were all kinds of rubbish being spouted
i contributed manfully
somebody found a bear, a grizzly according to mr mountains, because of its face...
i stuck wooden skewers up its butt and called it erik
now it sits beside me with €222,50 written on it
apparently the price of the evenings consumption
piffle and poppycock i say..
stayed up til 9am
much to eriks dismay
watched a film with super terrone in it
then the grand pronto which was a little fuzzy and very rainy
wanted to barf when legend car webber got bumped of the track
after a days sleep
went to paolinos house with a phenomenal view
and ate pizza and watched them try to copy music
what a boon that has been
long live leon!

whilst in napoli, maggots hair is styled by tennisballsrus and he chooses to look at...

Castel St Elmo... is on top of a hill, this photograph was obviously taken errr on top of that...

A rubbish view from Castello Sant Elmo...

Il maschio angioino... the week before i showed up

Il maschio angioino.... this week is mostly wearing traffic