جدایی نادر از سیمین

ک فیلم بسیار ظریف ، به ظاهر ساده اما زیبا.ی.

اکنون می توانم ببینم معامله بزرگ در مورد آقای فرهادی چیست.

گرچه باید اعتراف کنم که پوشش های سر یک یادآوری آزار دهنده از حماقت مطلق دین است که بر زندگی آنها مسلط است.

زنده باد انقلاب سبز!

le quoi de rosette? c'etait rien!

en fin on sait comment les pyramdies ont ete construits et qui les ont fait

nop, ils n'etaient pas les aliens!

nop, ils n'etaient pas les esclaves!

nop, ils n'etaient pas les survivants de un civilisation perdue!

nop, ils n'etaient pas une race blanche ancienne comme prester jean!

et les reponses ne sont pas cachees dans un entrepot de la cia, comme l'arc de Indiana Jones

ni dans les catacombes secrets du vatican

pas meme ont etee decouverts et deciphrees sur un papyrus dans un sarcophage de un pharoan recemment deterre

la solution est seulement disponible au fond de un cour (au gauche)

dans la petite ville de montelimar, en la region de la drome en france!

qui l'aurait devinait!

spot the twat #6- randy economy

yes, there is a guy called randy economy

with a name like that

what kind of person would you expect him to be?

which of the 200+ nations would he belong to?

correct!

hes a fucking giant gringo twat

involved in such supercharged fuckwittery as;

- right wing shock jockery (fiefdom of the lowest dregs of humanity)

- involvement in bullshit attempt to recall governor of california

- a part of trumps campaign (oh look, a cunt!)

spot the twat#5 Nobber 'Saparmurat' Niyazov

Turkmenistan's first and only Fucknuckle for Life, nobber niyazov trying reeeeally hard to come up with yet another earth shattering stroke of genius.

In 2002 nobber (in his role as exemplar comedy stereotypical central asian dictator) decided that hed had enough of common or garden variety names for days and months.

as his role of lord almighty twatface demanded, he changed these names for sensible, practical and catchy, easy to remember ones. including, april (aprel) becoming gurbansoltan, named after his dear old ma,  or wednesday which became carsenbe or 'favourable day'

nb all names of days/months are abitrary, but it takes an exceptional level of tosspotery to go to these lengths.

four years after the change, Niyazov died in 2006 and the old names were finally restored in July 2008

(he should have built a pyramid, it would have lasted longer)

full table of nobbers, godlike genius changes-

English name	Old Turkmen name	Adopted Turkmen name	Explanation
January	Ýanwar	Türkmenbaşy	Meaning "The Leader of Turkmen", the adopted name of Saparmurat Niyazov, president of Turkmenistan and author of the Ruhnama.
February	Fewral	Baýdak	Flag – the Turkmenistan flag day is celebrated in February on Niyazov's birthday.
March	Mart	Nowruz	The traditional Persian new year, which is celebrated in March.
April	Aprel	Gurbansoltan	Gurbansoltan Eje – The name of Niyazov's mother.
May	Maý	Magtymguly	Magtymguly Pyragy – Turkmen poet, considered by Niyazov as one of the greatest spiritual teachers of the Turkmen people.
June	Iýun	Oguz	Oguz Khan – the legendary and semi-mythological founder of the Turkmen nation, first recorded in the 13th century (see Oghuz).
July	Iýul	Gorkut	The hero of the "Gorkut-Ata" Turkmen epic.
August	Awgust	Alp Arslan	The second leader of the Seljuk Empire, fought a war with the Byzantine Empire and initiated Turkish migration into Asia Minor.
September	Sentýabr	Ruhnama	Niyazov's book, defined as a spiritual guide for the Turkmen nation.
October	Oktýabr	Garaşsyzlyk	Independence – Turkmenistan's Independence Day is celebrated in October.
November	Noýabr	Sanjar	The last ruler of the Seljuk Empire.
December	Dekabr	Bitaraplyk	Neutrality – Turkmenistan was proclaimed a neutral country, and Neutrality Day is celebrated in December.

The original names of the days of the week come from Persian. The adopted names were as follows:

English name	Old Turkmen name	Adopted Turkmen name	Explanation
Monday	Duşenbe	Başgün	First day
Tuesday	Sişenbe	Ýaşgün	Young day
Wednesday	Çarşenbe	Hoşgün	Favourable day
Thursday	Penşenbe	Sogapgün	Justice day
Friday	Anna	Annagün	Mother day
Saturday	Şenbe	Ruhgün	Spirit day
Sunday	Ýekşenbe	Dynçgün	Rest day

now why didnt YOU think of that?!

tie me to the length of that

 

Ooh, ahh, pretty, pretty baby...

she paints words in red

hegemony

superfluity

heuristic

satrap

tremulous

 

Beavis and butthead vs. no 9 - tiffany

she has to play in a mall because she sucks...

spot the twat #4, rodrigo duterte

 

utter scrote and all round obnoxious scum of the nastiest, corpse filled, toxic waste spillaged and nuclear refuse deluged pond,  (and president of the phillipines), saying something offensive and stupid. 

 Speaking of ongoing war on drugs which has seen thousands of extrajudicial killings:

“Hitler massacred three million Jews. Now there are three million drug addicts … I’d be happy to slaughter them.”

On the rape/murder of 36-year-old Australian missionary Jacqueline Hammill after a prison assault in Davao City in 1989:

“When the body was taken out, it was already wrapped. I looked at her face. I said, ‘F**k, she looks like an – like an American actress, a beautiful one … I said: ‘F**k, what a waste’. What went through my head was that they raped her. That everyone had lined up to rape her. I got angry. That she was raped? Yes, that too. But it was that she was so beautiful – the mayor should have been first. What a waste.”

On five-hour traffic delay in already traffic-thronged Manila during a visit by Pope Francis:

“Pope, you son of a bitch, go home. Don’t visit here any more.” (this one is actually to be applauded, but for all the wrong reasons)

After his daughter Sara said she had been raped, Duterte described her as a drama queen:

 “She can’t be raped – she carries a gun.”

After EU criticises extrajudicial killings of thousands suspected of involvement in the drugs trade, Duterte raises his middle finger in an insulting gesture - and repeats the message the following day:

 “Even the EU is scolding me … When I was mayor, that was OK, but it is different now because I am the president. Why would you insult me? It is as if I am your subordinate … F**k you.”

Message to US president Barack Obama after the US criticised his administration’s human rights record:

“Son of a whore, I’ll curse you at that forum. Don’t do anything like that to me.”

Remarks addressed to drug lords during election campaign:

“Forget the laws on human rights. If I make it to the presidential palace, I will do just what I did as mayor. You drug pushers, hold-up men and do-nothings, you better go out. Because I’d kill you. I’ll dump all of you into Manila Bay, and fatten all the fish there.”

When compared to US presidential candidate Donald Trump:

“He is a bigot and I am not.” (well he was half right)

Speaking after a meeting with US ambassador Philip Goldberg:

“We were talking to [US Secretary of State John] Kerry. He’s okay but I had an argument with their ambassador, that homosexual. Son of bitch, he really annoys me.”

On territorial disputes with China in the South China Sea:

“I will ride a jet ski [to the Spratlys] while bringing the Philippine flag. I will plant the flag on the runway and tell the Chinese authorities, ‘Kill me.’”

(stolen from the irish times)

jimbo boy, youre a crock of shit

Why don't you give your mouth a go
And in the other hole, put a plug?

algole!

el espanol mexicano es una bellisima cosa misteriosa y complicada

en un pais tan grande y de grande poblacion de tantas culturas distintas

y que tiene un chorro de imaginacion

su variedad y riqueza es casi ilimitado

este hecho es algo hermoso y encantador

pero lo hace bastante laberintico

tambien si se habla bien el espanol

las frases siguientes me dejaron despistado

asi, al final

despues de aniquilar mi porbre cerebro

tratando de recordar todos sus significados

me quede con una frase

aplicable para todas las tres

les presento...

ALGOLE!

(nb. podria ser util solamente en el dialecto poco conocido, el simonense)

elver galarga y su familia

 

Rosa meltrozo 

Rosa Melano

Larry Capija

Rosa Melfierro Delgado

Elvio Lado

Maria Dolores delorto

Maria Dolores delano

Elmas Turbado

Elver Gazo

Elver Galinda

Elver Gachica

Elba Boso

Jorge Nitales 

Mari Conazo

ohh yeaahh!

make an underwater wish

once upon a time

i went diving in the red sea

(dont believe the hype, its not fucking red)

off the disgraceful shitstain of resorts

full off filthy rich, entitled and downright boorish russians

and pushy, avaricious hotel staff

fuck your baksheesh sky high!

that make up hurghada

sadly and predictably

the coral is badly damaged by the fuckhead tour operators mooring their boats

by tying them to coral branches

i was bricking it

as i hadnt dived since i got my licence 8 years before

when i had cheated on the test!

and i had forgotten even the things that i had copied

that last addled, stressful and exhausted night by lake malawi

happily it all went well enough

and we dived by make a wish island

and my wish not to fuck up and drown in disgrace

did indeed come true

non potrebbe, non sarebbe, non dovrebbe (essere successo-piu o fucking meno) no.5

 

la destruzione del borgo di via madre di dio

figgeu erano incazzati neri!

words are wasted

pantagruel

dyspathy

penultimate

pot-valiant

vizier

 

I Was Hoping You'd Say Cunt

and when you did

it felt pretty good...

genau richtig!

britain was “captured by gambling liars, frivolous clowns and their paid cheerleaders."

nikolaus blome, der spiegel - on brexit.

il pourrait, serait, devrait (plus ou fucking moins) no.4

c'est dommage, ca

ils n'ont pas acheve' cet episode du comic strip presents...

eddie monsoon, c'est une vie? etait vraiment genial et je l'ai trop kiffe

le caractere est trop amusant et vachement ouf!

car il n'y a personne de mieux pour jouer le psycopathe comme ade!

beavis and butthead do no. 8 - Ween

these dudes need to quit screwing around and get back to making sandwiches...

thank fuck thats over

 

somebody has been twatting on my remote peninsula...

for thirteen years a fucking tool spent each summer camping in the wilds of russkaya amyerika

he took loads of beautiful footage of big bad brown grizzly bears

often alarmingly closely

doing their wild things

fishing, playing, fighting and generally being bad arsed bears

until eventually

being an utter buffoon

and believing that they were his fuzzy maties

despite banging on repeatedly about how dangerous they were

one of them eventually got sick of his extremely try hard attenbrough shit

saw him and his girlfriend

decided that they would taste just right

and ate them all up.