spot the twat#5 Nobber 'Saparmurat' Niyazov

Turkmenistan's first and only Fucknuckle for Life, nobber niyazov trying reeeeally hard to come up with yet another earth shattering stroke of genius.

In 2002 nobber (in his role as exemplar comedy stereotypical central asian dictator) decided that hed had enough of common or garden variety names for days and months.

as his role of lord almighty twatface demanded, he changed these names for sensible, practical and catchy, easy to remember ones. including, april (aprel) becoming gurbansoltan, named after his dear old ma,  or wednesday which became carsenbe or 'favourable day'

nb all names of days/months are abitrary, but it takes an exceptional level of tosspotery to go to these lengths.

four years after the change, Niyazov died in 2006 and the old names were finally restored in July 2008

(he should have built a pyramid, it would have lasted longer)

full table of nobbers, godlike genius changes-

English name	Old Turkmen name	Adopted Turkmen name	Explanation
January	Ýanwar	Türkmenbaşy	Meaning "The Leader of Turkmen", the adopted name of Saparmurat Niyazov, president of Turkmenistan and author of the Ruhnama.
February	Fewral	Baýdak	Flag – the Turkmenistan flag day is celebrated in February on Niyazov's birthday.
March	Mart	Nowruz	The traditional Persian new year, which is celebrated in March.
April	Aprel	Gurbansoltan	Gurbansoltan Eje – The name of Niyazov's mother.
May	Maý	Magtymguly	Magtymguly Pyragy – Turkmen poet, considered by Niyazov as one of the greatest spiritual teachers of the Turkmen people.
June	Iýun	Oguz	Oguz Khan – the legendary and semi-mythological founder of the Turkmen nation, first recorded in the 13th century (see Oghuz).
July	Iýul	Gorkut	The hero of the "Gorkut-Ata" Turkmen epic.
August	Awgust	Alp Arslan	The second leader of the Seljuk Empire, fought a war with the Byzantine Empire and initiated Turkish migration into Asia Minor.
September	Sentýabr	Ruhnama	Niyazov's book, defined as a spiritual guide for the Turkmen nation.
October	Oktýabr	Garaşsyzlyk	Independence – Turkmenistan's Independence Day is celebrated in October.
November	Noýabr	Sanjar	The last ruler of the Seljuk Empire.
December	Dekabr	Bitaraplyk	Neutrality – Turkmenistan was proclaimed a neutral country, and Neutrality Day is celebrated in December.

The original names of the days of the week come from Persian. The adopted names were as follows:

English name	Old Turkmen name	Adopted Turkmen name	Explanation
Monday	Duşenbe	Başgün	First day
Tuesday	Sişenbe	Ýaşgün	Young day
Wednesday	Çarşenbe	Hoşgün	Favourable day
Thursday	Penşenbe	Sogapgün	Justice day
Friday	Anna	Annagün	Mother day
Saturday	Şenbe	Ruhgün	Spirit day
Sunday	Ýekşenbe	Dynçgün	Rest day

now why didnt YOU think of that?!