Saturday, August 29, 2009
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
mid-table rant
the view here from the mid-table is alright
middling one could say
and one just did
you cant make out great events on the horizon
they are obscured
by the banal stuff
we would like to break into the top echelons
amongst the big forty
but it seems we destined to stay here
at the mid-table
we are taking it one juego at a time
going for the hard pelotas
and striving to improve on the uno por ciento's
they might take us up to the top table
instead of here at the mid of the kiddies fold out version
with the unfashionable equipos
you know the ones
with drool slinking ever closer to the arepa
with boogers protruding from both narices
these guys are forever on the lower edge of the table
with a solid chance that they might even end up on another table altogether
or all together
perhaps we should resign ourselves life at the mid-table
instead of this foolish dreaming of a sugardaddy's
that might, just might
life us up from the mid-table to where we rightly belong
no
life at the mid-table is alright
if only we could get these sporks out of our butts...
middling one could say
and one just did
you cant make out great events on the horizon
they are obscured
by the banal stuff
we would like to break into the top echelons
amongst the big forty
but it seems we destined to stay here
at the mid-table
we are taking it one juego at a time
going for the hard pelotas
and striving to improve on the uno por ciento's
they might take us up to the top table
instead of here at the mid of the kiddies fold out version
with the unfashionable equipos
you know the ones
with drool slinking ever closer to the arepa
with boogers protruding from both narices
these guys are forever on the lower edge of the table
with a solid chance that they might even end up on another table altogether
or all together
perhaps we should resign ourselves life at the mid-table
instead of this foolish dreaming of a sugardaddy's
that might, just might
life us up from the mid-table to where we rightly belong
no
life at the mid-table is alright
if only we could get these sporks out of our butts...
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
LATE BREAKING NON-NEWS!!!
we apologise for this break in transmission of bollocks
it is due to force majeur or some such crap
we hope to resume subnormal service as soon as we can be arsed...
we appreciate your patience, alternatively you can fuck right off...
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
goddam racists-CRANK!
Quiet slicing of the West Bank makes abstract prayers for peace obscene
Condemnation of 'illegal' settlements and violence only blurs the reality of what the Israeli state is sanctioning, day by day
Slavoj Zizek
The Guardian, Tuesday 18 August 2009
On 2 August 2009, after cordoning off part of the Arab neighborhood of Sheikh Jarrah in east Jerusalem, Israeli police evicted two Palestinian families (more than 50 people) from their homes; Jewish settlers immediately moved into the emptied houses. Although Israeli police cited a ruling by the country's supreme court, the evicted Arab families had been living there for more than 50 years. The event – which, rather exceptionally, did attract the attention of the world media – is part of a much larger and mostly ignored ongoing process.
Five months earlier, on 1 March, it had been reported that the Israeli government had drafted plans to build more than 70,000 new homes in Jewish settlements in the occupied West Bank; if implemented, the plans could increase the number of settlers in the Palestinian territories by about 300,000 Such a move would not only severely undermine the chances of a viable Palestinian state, but also hamper the everyday life of Palestinians.
A government spokesman dismissed the report, arguing that the plans were of limited relevance – the construction of homes in the settlements required the approval of the defence minister and the prime minister. However, 15,000 have already been fully approved, and 20,000 of the proposed housing units lie in settlements that Israel cannot expect to retain in any future peace deal with the Palestinians.
The conclusion is obvious: while paying lip-service to the two-state solution, Israel is busy creating a situation on the ground that will render such a solution impossible. The dream underlying Israel's plans is encapsulated by a wall that separates a settler's town from the Palestinian town on a nearby West Bank hill. The Israeli side of the wall is painted with the image of the countryside beyond the wall – but without the Palestinian town, depicting just nature, grass and trees. Is this not ethnic cleansing at its purest, imagining the outside beyond the wall as empty, virginal and waiting to be settled?
On the very day that reports of the government's 70,000-home plan emerged, Hillary Clinton criticised the rocket fire from Gaza as "cynical", claiming: "There is no doubt that any nation, including Israel, cannot stand idly by while its territory and people are subjected to rocket attacks." But should the Palestinians stand idly while the West Bank land is taken from them day by day?
When peace-loving Israeli liberals present their conflict with Palestinians in neutral, symmetrical terms – admitting that there are extremists on both sides who reject peace – one should ask a simple question: what goes on in the Middle East when nothing is happening there at the direct politico-military level (ie, when there are no tensions, attacks or negotiations)? What goes on is the slow work of taking the land from the Palestinians on the West Bank: the gradual strangling of the Palestinian economy, the parcelling up of their land, the building of new settlements, the pressure on Palestinian farmers to make them abandon their land (which goes from crop-burning and religious desecration to targeted killings) – all this supported by a Kafkaesque network of legal regulations.
Saree Makdisi, in Palestine Inside Out: An Everyday Occupation, describes how, although the Israeli occupation of the West Bank is ultimately enforced by the armed forces, it is an "occupation by bureaucracy": it works primarily through application forms, title deeds, residency papers and other permits. It is this micro-management of the daily life that does the job of securing slow but steady Israeli expansion: one has to ask for a permit in order to leave with one's family, to farm one's own land, to dig a well, or to go to work, to school, or to hospital. One by one, Palestinians born in Jerusalem are thus stripped of the right to live there, prevented from earning a living, denied housing permits, etc.
Palestinians often use the problematic cliché of the Gaza strip as "the greatest concentration camp in the world". However, in the past year, this designation has come dangerously close to truth. This is the fundamental reality that makes all abstract "prayers for peace" obscene and hypocritical. The state of Israel is clearly engaged in a slow, invisible process, ignored by the media; one day, the world will awake and discover that there is no more Palestinian West Bank, that the land is Palestinian-frei, and that we must accept the fact. The map of the Palestinian West Bank already looks like a fragmented archipelago.
In the last months of 2008, when the attacks of illegal West Bank settlers on Palestinian farmers became a regular daily occurrence, the state of Israel tried to contain these excesses (the supreme court ordered the evacuation of some settlements) but, as many observers have noted, such measures are half-hearted, countered by the long-term politics of Israel, which violates the international treaties it has signed. The response of the illegal settlers to the Israeli authorities is "We are doing the same thing as you, just more openly, so what right do you have to condemn us?" And the state's reply is basically "Bde patient, and don't rush too much. We are doing what you want, just in a more moderate and acceptable way."
The same story has been repeated since 1949: Israel accepts the peace conditions proposed by the international community, counting on the fact that the peace plan will not work. The illegal settlers sometimes sound like Brunhilde from the last act of Wagner's Walküre – reproaching Wotan and saying that, by counteracting his explicit order and protecting Siegmund, she was only realising Wotan's own true desire, which he was forced to renounce under external pressure. In the same way the settlers know they are realising their own state's true desire.
While condemning the violent excesses of "illegal" settlements, the state of Israel promotes new "legal" building on the West Bank, and continues to strangle the Palestinian economy. A look at the changing map of East Jerusalem, where the Palestinians are gradually encircled and their living area sliced, tells it all. The condemnation of anti-Palestinian violence not carried out by the state blurs the true problem of state violence; the condemnation of illegal settlements blurs the illegality of the legal ones.
Therein resides the two-facedness of the much-praised non-biased "honesty" of the Israeli supreme court: by occasionally passing judgment in favour of the dispossessed Palestinians, proclaiming their eviction illegal, it guarantees the legality of the remaining majority of cases.
Taking all this into account in no way implies sympathy for inexcusable terrorist acts. On the contrary, it provides the only ground from which one can condemn the terrorist attacks without hypocrisy.
Slavoj Zizek is international director of the Birkbeck Institute for the Humanities szizek@yahoo.com
Condemnation of 'illegal' settlements and violence only blurs the reality of what the Israeli state is sanctioning, day by day
Slavoj Zizek
The Guardian, Tuesday 18 August 2009
On 2 August 2009, after cordoning off part of the Arab neighborhood of Sheikh Jarrah in east Jerusalem, Israeli police evicted two Palestinian families (more than 50 people) from their homes; Jewish settlers immediately moved into the emptied houses. Although Israeli police cited a ruling by the country's supreme court, the evicted Arab families had been living there for more than 50 years. The event – which, rather exceptionally, did attract the attention of the world media – is part of a much larger and mostly ignored ongoing process.
Five months earlier, on 1 March, it had been reported that the Israeli government had drafted plans to build more than 70,000 new homes in Jewish settlements in the occupied West Bank; if implemented, the plans could increase the number of settlers in the Palestinian territories by about 300,000 Such a move would not only severely undermine the chances of a viable Palestinian state, but also hamper the everyday life of Palestinians.
A government spokesman dismissed the report, arguing that the plans were of limited relevance – the construction of homes in the settlements required the approval of the defence minister and the prime minister. However, 15,000 have already been fully approved, and 20,000 of the proposed housing units lie in settlements that Israel cannot expect to retain in any future peace deal with the Palestinians.
The conclusion is obvious: while paying lip-service to the two-state solution, Israel is busy creating a situation on the ground that will render such a solution impossible. The dream underlying Israel's plans is encapsulated by a wall that separates a settler's town from the Palestinian town on a nearby West Bank hill. The Israeli side of the wall is painted with the image of the countryside beyond the wall – but without the Palestinian town, depicting just nature, grass and trees. Is this not ethnic cleansing at its purest, imagining the outside beyond the wall as empty, virginal and waiting to be settled?
On the very day that reports of the government's 70,000-home plan emerged, Hillary Clinton criticised the rocket fire from Gaza as "cynical", claiming: "There is no doubt that any nation, including Israel, cannot stand idly by while its territory and people are subjected to rocket attacks." But should the Palestinians stand idly while the West Bank land is taken from them day by day?
When peace-loving Israeli liberals present their conflict with Palestinians in neutral, symmetrical terms – admitting that there are extremists on both sides who reject peace – one should ask a simple question: what goes on in the Middle East when nothing is happening there at the direct politico-military level (ie, when there are no tensions, attacks or negotiations)? What goes on is the slow work of taking the land from the Palestinians on the West Bank: the gradual strangling of the Palestinian economy, the parcelling up of their land, the building of new settlements, the pressure on Palestinian farmers to make them abandon their land (which goes from crop-burning and religious desecration to targeted killings) – all this supported by a Kafkaesque network of legal regulations.
Saree Makdisi, in Palestine Inside Out: An Everyday Occupation, describes how, although the Israeli occupation of the West Bank is ultimately enforced by the armed forces, it is an "occupation by bureaucracy": it works primarily through application forms, title deeds, residency papers and other permits. It is this micro-management of the daily life that does the job of securing slow but steady Israeli expansion: one has to ask for a permit in order to leave with one's family, to farm one's own land, to dig a well, or to go to work, to school, or to hospital. One by one, Palestinians born in Jerusalem are thus stripped of the right to live there, prevented from earning a living, denied housing permits, etc.
Palestinians often use the problematic cliché of the Gaza strip as "the greatest concentration camp in the world". However, in the past year, this designation has come dangerously close to truth. This is the fundamental reality that makes all abstract "prayers for peace" obscene and hypocritical. The state of Israel is clearly engaged in a slow, invisible process, ignored by the media; one day, the world will awake and discover that there is no more Palestinian West Bank, that the land is Palestinian-frei, and that we must accept the fact. The map of the Palestinian West Bank already looks like a fragmented archipelago.
In the last months of 2008, when the attacks of illegal West Bank settlers on Palestinian farmers became a regular daily occurrence, the state of Israel tried to contain these excesses (the supreme court ordered the evacuation of some settlements) but, as many observers have noted, such measures are half-hearted, countered by the long-term politics of Israel, which violates the international treaties it has signed. The response of the illegal settlers to the Israeli authorities is "We are doing the same thing as you, just more openly, so what right do you have to condemn us?" And the state's reply is basically "Bde patient, and don't rush too much. We are doing what you want, just in a more moderate and acceptable way."
The same story has been repeated since 1949: Israel accepts the peace conditions proposed by the international community, counting on the fact that the peace plan will not work. The illegal settlers sometimes sound like Brunhilde from the last act of Wagner's Walküre – reproaching Wotan and saying that, by counteracting his explicit order and protecting Siegmund, she was only realising Wotan's own true desire, which he was forced to renounce under external pressure. In the same way the settlers know they are realising their own state's true desire.
While condemning the violent excesses of "illegal" settlements, the state of Israel promotes new "legal" building on the West Bank, and continues to strangle the Palestinian economy. A look at the changing map of East Jerusalem, where the Palestinians are gradually encircled and their living area sliced, tells it all. The condemnation of anti-Palestinian violence not carried out by the state blurs the true problem of state violence; the condemnation of illegal settlements blurs the illegality of the legal ones.
Therein resides the two-facedness of the much-praised non-biased "honesty" of the Israeli supreme court: by occasionally passing judgment in favour of the dispossessed Palestinians, proclaiming their eviction illegal, it guarantees the legality of the remaining majority of cases.
Taking all this into account in no way implies sympathy for inexcusable terrorist acts. On the contrary, it provides the only ground from which one can condemn the terrorist attacks without hypocrisy.
Slavoj Zizek is international director of the Birkbeck Institute for the Humanities szizek@yahoo.com
Monday, August 17, 2009
Saturday, August 15, 2009
dung!!! it's wedding bells (or crepes)
off to a wedding today
im going to be second best man
which is pretty cool, i think
I get to wear a suit
and a vest
so i'd best have a shave
pop a couple of respectable pills
and try to bash this shambles of a person into a fit state for public consumption
all the greats will be there
cousins, some partially removed, aunts, uncles, siblings, parents, goat people,friends and fiends
my dear cuz is getting all hitched
it's all pretty marvy
she's marrying a good bloke
and she's all very happy
and he's all very happy
which makes me at least partially very happy
or is that at least all partially happy?
im going to be second best man
which is pretty cool, i think
I get to wear a suit
and a vest
so i'd best have a shave
pop a couple of respectable pills
and try to bash this shambles of a person into a fit state for public consumption
all the greats will be there
cousins, some partially removed, aunts, uncles, siblings, parents, goat people,friends and fiends
my dear cuz is getting all hitched
it's all pretty marvy
she's marrying a good bloke
and she's all very happy
and he's all very happy
which makes me at least partially very happy
or is that at least all partially happy?
Friday, August 14, 2009
some kind of bogan monstrosity
DVD-Metallica, Some Kind of Monsterduration-fucking ages
starring-loads of bogans
Synopsis; hugely popular bogan behemoth and masters of shoutiness have a documentary made about them trying to record an album and being cranky at each other... They have a counsellor follow them around everywhere, trying to make them get along long enough to make a new record and cash in yet again. He has taught them all fluent shrink speak and they express themselves with "I feel this/I respect your that" Hilarity ensues as the drummer, Lars von twatville shows himself to be an enormous tossface and is at loggerheads with lead shoutmeister James AllHetupfield, who is obviously fucked up (disappears off to detox clinic), but at least interesting. Other hispanic guitar dude radiates stupidity despite barely opening his mouth and new bass guy looks like an enormous teddy bear. Special guest is formation era guitarist who got kicked out of the band and now shares his suffering with hilarious consequences of "my twenty years of pain" earnest speeching.
Despite the over-shoutiness of the music and the annoying band members, the film is pretty damn funny.
4 lavatory flushes out of 5
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Vlad, a real man...
Russian Prime Minister, ex-president, formerKGB nasty and huge bunghole Vladimir Putin...
Showing off his big muscles by going topless when the media just happened to be around...
Riding a horse...
Going hunting...
and fishing...
Because it's so bloody hot in Russia it was absolutely, utterly and irrefutably necessary for him to get his kit off....what next, topless checking your emails?
Gee Vlad, you are so hard!
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Danger! Low Browser
apparently last week a bloke in godblessgunsamerica wents nuts in a gym
he went into a room with aerobics bouncing things going on
turned out the lights
pulled out his guns
and shot as many people as he could
then shot himself
this in itself is unremarkable
american shoots everybody
big deal!
american then shoots himself
big fucking deal!
but the interesting thing about this loser
is that apparently he kept a blog
and he had been writing about his plans to kill people online, in blog form,
for over a year!
but probably nobody saw it...
as ROOT! say
Joe Bloggs but nobody reads it
http://www.nypost.com/seven/08052009/news/nationalnews/full_text_of_gym_killers_blog_183111.htm
it makes one imagine how many boring bastards
are writing blogs on the internerd
which NOBODY reads!
ha!
also
could it be a worldwide trend?
after two years of spouting bollocks here
might I go mental and go out to a gym/library/pub and spout bollocks at innocent people?
perish the thought...
he went into a room with aerobics bouncing things going on
turned out the lights
pulled out his guns
and shot as many people as he could
then shot himself
this in itself is unremarkable
american shoots everybody
big deal!
american then shoots himself
big fucking deal!
but the interesting thing about this loser
is that apparently he kept a blog
and he had been writing about his plans to kill people online, in blog form,
for over a year!
but probably nobody saw it...
as ROOT! say
Joe Bloggs but nobody reads it
http://www.nypost.com/seven/08052009/news/nationalnews/full_text_of_gym_killers_blog_183111.htm
it makes one imagine how many boring bastards
are writing blogs on the internerd
which NOBODY reads!
ha!
also
could it be a worldwide trend?
after two years of spouting bollocks here
might I go mental and go out to a gym/library/pub and spout bollocks at innocent people?
perish the thought...
Friday, August 07, 2009
Thursday, August 06, 2009
passa wind
theres a huge wind belting about today
the trees are waving around wildly
getting under eaves and testing roofs
the constant rustle of leaves
picking up little micios and sending them flying across the burbs
some wankers on brunswick street had their berets blown off
it would seem Lunchicles the greek god of wind is cranky
either that or beavis has been on the beans again...
Wednesday, August 05, 2009
sorry about that
sorry man
you dont look too good
sorry to see you bent double like that
all the crystaline light gushing out of you
sorry i cant do anything to help
it cant be much fun
sorry if there was something i should have done
your anguished expression is deafening
sorry i dont have karmic painkillers
you could never have seen it coming
sorry i ran out of foresight last week
are you sure theres no esoteric cure?
sorry to see you go out this way
i will tell your friends and family the story
sorry they cant be here
send me a postcard from the other side
sorry i cant pay C.O.D
your colours are all fusing
your lights are dimming
sorry it has to end this way
really sorry man
you dont look too good
sorry to see you bent double like that
all the crystaline light gushing out of you
sorry i cant do anything to help
it cant be much fun
sorry if there was something i should have done
your anguished expression is deafening
sorry i dont have karmic painkillers
you could never have seen it coming
sorry i ran out of foresight last week
are you sure theres no esoteric cure?
sorry to see you go out this way
i will tell your friends and family the story
sorry they cant be here
send me a postcard from the other side
sorry i cant pay C.O.D
your colours are all fusing
your lights are dimming
sorry it has to end this way
really sorry man
Sunday, August 02, 2009
40-odd ways to say...
coglione
casone
pirla
minchione
bischero
babbeo
baccala
bietolone
deficente
fesso
gonzo
grullo
mammalucco
merlo
oca
rimbambito
salame
scimunito
testone
tonto
zuccone
allocco
baggiano
balordo
beota
citrullo
cretino
idiota
imbecile
scemo
semplicione
stupido
duro
ebete
mentecatto
poco intelligente
sciocco
insensato
insulso
ottuso
stolido
stolto
casone
pirla
minchione
bischero
babbeo
baccala
bietolone
deficente
fesso
gonzo
grullo
mammalucco
merlo
oca
rimbambito
salame
scimunito
testone
tonto
zuccone
allocco
baggiano
balordo
beota
citrullo
cretino
idiota
imbecile
scemo
semplicione
stupido
duro
ebete
mentecatto
poco intelligente
sciocco
insensato
insulso
ottuso
stolido
stolto
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
un gobbo e nostra dama
ma che palle
dopo un paio di mesi
e' finita la storia dell'gobbo
e e' finita male
che fucking tristezza
mi ha lasciata un po giu
beh
il cattivo prete e' rimasto schiacchiato sul pavimento o la selcia
qualsiasi cosa che quello sia
la gran bella gnocchetta che abbiamo seguito da tanto tempo e' stato brutalmente impicchata
la mamma e' morta dopo aver sbattuta la testa sui sassi della piazza
dopo che si sono appena ritrovati dopo 15 anni !
il bell capitano si e sposato con la cugina che non amava
del guercio....
sembrarebbe che si e' messo a morire con la sua amata egiziana gia cadavere
in una caverna
il che e' molto poetico
pero...
l'unico che ha la fine quasi felice
era il poeta gringoire
sarebbe l'amarezza che e' rimasto nella boca?
Monday, July 27, 2009
a mounted goat
free beer
free beer
free beer
visited the mountain goat brewery on friday night
in downtown richmondia
it was super
if a bit chilly
through mysterious and extremely legitimate means
someone had a whole load of free beer passes
18
so we had to go and drink them all
there were loads of different types
each one groovier than the last
even special guest ones
there were tasty tasting trays
the bar staff ended up a bit sick of giving out free beers
but by that point it were too late
feed the goat and he will score...
free beer
free beer
visited the mountain goat brewery on friday night
in downtown richmondia
it was super
if a bit chilly
through mysterious and extremely legitimate means
someone had a whole load of free beer passes
18
so we had to go and drink them all
there were loads of different types
each one groovier than the last
even special guest ones
there were tasty tasting trays
the bar staff ended up a bit sick of giving out free beers
but by that point it were too late
feed the goat and he will score...
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Monday, July 20, 2009
god told me to...
islamic society wasnt always backwards and moronic
it was for quite a while super advanced
even though it sprang from religious wank...
so there you have it
for several centuries while the europeans were fumbling around in the dark ages
the islamic culture was kicking goals all over the shoppe
they sorted out philosophy, science, medicine, maths and kulcha in general
absorbing wisdom from the greeks, the indians, the persians et al
and spreading it via the whole international trade thing
they were even....gasp
tolerant of other religions
science flourished
unlike in europe
where the church succesfully stomped all over it
until the rebirth
when all this kulcha which was kept alive by the islamic societies was put to good use
and the church kept stomping away
murderingly fighting against the weakening of its power
of course islamdom was all based on the usual horseshit
of some bloke talking to fairies in the desert etc
but despite that
lots of good stuff was achieved
meanwhile the christians of europe
decided they needed jerusalem coz the vatican told them it was holy or something
so they went there
had huge wars
and slaughtered local innocents mercilessly
fucking backwards moronic idiots...
it was for quite a while super advanced
even though it sprang from religious wank...
so there you have it
for several centuries while the europeans were fumbling around in the dark ages
the islamic culture was kicking goals all over the shoppe
they sorted out philosophy, science, medicine, maths and kulcha in general
absorbing wisdom from the greeks, the indians, the persians et al
and spreading it via the whole international trade thing
they were even....gasp
tolerant of other religions
science flourished
unlike in europe
where the church succesfully stomped all over it
until the rebirth
when all this kulcha which was kept alive by the islamic societies was put to good use
and the church kept stomping away
murderingly fighting against the weakening of its power
of course islamdom was all based on the usual horseshit
of some bloke talking to fairies in the desert etc
but despite that
lots of good stuff was achieved
meanwhile the christians of europe
decided they needed jerusalem coz the vatican told them it was holy or something
so they went there
had huge wars
and slaughtered local innocents mercilessly
fucking backwards moronic idiots...
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