magyar making ya crazy

right wing bell end and president of hungary victor orban
not that recently as part of his general being a reactionary fuckwit
went about trying to promote local people couples procreating
you know the deal
protect the master race
make more of us
we are the mostest special after all!
otherwise the 'others' might outnumber us all, big gah!
and in a master stroke of stupidity
his government started putting up giant roadside posters
telling people to back out some more kiddlies

but
as is the way with shitheadded populists
they farked it up
on their family values horseshit posters
they lashed out and bought some generic images online
and of course as they morons
they got images of perhaps the most famous meme peoples of the moment
yes!
the couple whose image has been re-used a billion times over
for language, food, tech and anything else you may have heard of
for memes of a couple
who are walking down the street hand in hand
and hes turned his head
checking out another chick!

georgie orwell sends us all hugs... 

England football fans Vs not being a fuckhead

and i think we all knew who the winner would be...

youre nicked toe rag

“The complexities of cause and effect defy analysis.”
― Douglas Adams

                                                                            

il y a trente ans

en juin 1989 les etudiants chinoises dans beaucoup de villes ont proteste
ils etaient marres du systeme communist du pays
et centaines de milles sont allees dans le rues du pays
le gouvernment
ou meilleur dit le parti communist ont fait tout le possible pour les fermer
si on entend  les nier, les intimider et menacer
veut dire tout le possible
alors ils ont essayer de envoyer l'armee dans le centre ville de pekin
mais a ce point aussi les travailleurs sont entres eux memes dans les rues
et ils ont ferme l'armee
avec leurs propres corps
donc le gouverment a choisi une chose infame
et a ordene l'armee d'entrer
a n'import quel cout dans la place ti an en men
et e arrive le denouement
le tanks etc ont massacre milliers de personnes innocents
sans armes
les personnes normelles que ne volaient plus
que la democratie
que avoir le droit de parler librement

et alors le parti communist a maintenu le pouvoir
et jusqua au'jourdhui presque personne en chine connaissent le faits
et aussi dans le reste du monde
on ne dit rien
car la monnaie chinoise est trop importante
felicitationes au eux
la chine est toujours un pays orwellien

bof!

pandora's wot?

the research department of limebeaverbollocks inc
(heavily subsidised by big pottery)
has made a radical discovery
the container which the pandora chica
and with whos tampering
caused 47 flavours of hell to be unleashed
wasnt a fucking box!
nooooo(ah)
was it a bag?
was it a satchel?
was it a demijohn?
was it a perspex case containing an american shyster?
was it even a fucking amphora?

no
no
no
no!

get your whelms out
give them a good undering
 
it was a jar!
that most basic of objects
bearing the basest form of anglo saxon title

a fucking jar!

put that in your kiln and smoke it!

a la verga con tu bad hair day

si a caso te estas pensando que tu vida esta complicada
que tu vecino tiene un tv mas grande que tuyo
que la senorita a trabajo que te gusta no te sonrie ayer
que tu equipe de futbol se perdio los tres ultimas partidos
que tus medias tienen un agujero de 4 milimetros
o el peor de todos los peores
vives un bad hair day!

refleja un poquito sobre de los 70 anos que tenia bolivia
entre los 19 siglo y el 20 siglo

maldita drama queen!

ma wobbie faceva il sorriso verticale?

era la fine degli anni 80
i cd non erano abbastanza communi per non essere troppo cari
in piu
che cazzo ero,
nostrofuckingdamo del cazzo?
cosi
avevo scoperto la musica che non fa schifo
non sapevo chi cazzo ero
ma sapevo quello che non c'ero
andavo in giro con dei gottici
almeno
quelli che passavano per gotici
nei sobborghi lontani
volevo essere alternativo
ma alternativo a che cosa?

tutti i ragazzi che mi parevano cool
erano grandi fans
le ragazze con troppa truca
i ragazzi con troppa truci

le labbre enormi sul coperchio
mi sembravano molto sensuali
bene
con i pochi soldi che avevo
ho comprato il nuovo disco di 'liqueur'
l'ho portato a casa mia
e l'ho messo sul girodisco di casa
e ho saltato
girato
danzato
e probabilmente
ho mosso i mani come wobbie
e come faceva l'amico
quello che era troppo cool

ma alla fine ho dovuto stare tranquillo
perche il girodisco era sul pavimento
e quando cercavo fare il wobbie
si saltava come una merda!

i got the machine to the machine

we took the machine into town

but the machine stopped working so we had to get the machine

then

even when we got there

the machine showing the machine in the window was playing up

we were wondering about doing some machine shopping

but without the machine

that proved impossible

dont get me wrong

i dont need the latest machine to choose a new machine

but without any machine

it was tough

anyway

after the machine debacle

we had no choice but to go the machine without a machine

in this day and machine age

showing up without a machine!

but we soldiered on without a machine

we tried to compensate for our lack of machine

but it was pretty obvious that we lacked our machine

we joked about our machine

but without our machine

we couldnt really explain our lack of machine

let alone about the tardiness of our machine!



what i really fear

is the day

they turn off the great machine...

turns out thats wildly fucking optimistic

Drunk on election night

so its that time of the fuckhead year/season/triennial/quadrennial again
because its OBLIGATORIO
the pig ignorant voters of straya are voting for their national government
NOT their head of state
noooo
not fucking that
to qualify for that you have to come from one family of inbred tossers on the other side of the world

as per usual most of them cant think beyond two utterly corrupt parties
the utter cunt privileged screw the poor and the planet for fun party
and the theoretically 'workers' party
who long ago sold their souls to multinational corporations
of course there are plenty of other choices
the big racist dipshit party always make an odorous dent
then there are the green party who at least mean well
and a plethora of independents and tiny freakoid jobs
such as
the stop being a cunt and just be nice to each other, man party
the grow the fuck up and protect the vulnerable party
the desperately clinging on to any shred of influence religious parties
the big fat self important rich utter turd party
ive got a fucking beard and used to be on telly party
the bogan moron party
and several more nob head parties
and random assorted the moon is on fire and the earth is made of flattened watermelon wankers

but with one uber rich cunt in particular controlling the vast majority of the media
the utter cunt privileged screw the poor and the planet for fun party always have a huge head start
despite their obvious moral and financial corruption
complete lack of coherence
and outstanding achievement in the field of incompetence awards
will run it close
and the only groupings that actually are in it for a good reason
wont get many votes
because ozzzies oi oi ois are too fucking stupid
to use their tiny ickle brains
think beyond appeals to their bigotry and hip pocket
and to quote a bag of chips
'keep the bastards honest'



so much cuntery
so much incompetence
so much corruption
so much ignorance
viva el sistema!

addis llansamletbar - worst aiport... ever

depending on your choice of airline
a stop over in addis ababa is a distinct possibility
quite a few international flights pull in there
being strategically located
near the junction of three 'continents'
and a shit ton of oil/money

addis llansamletbar on the other hand
is not such a common transit point
being on the wrong side of the river tawe
and being set in an 'enterprise zone'
or some such
that ricky gervais would be familiar with
it involved a couple of flights on shit green airlines
including another stop off at the temple of doom international airport
in the late 1890s i couldnt help but stop there
up to perhaps 20 times
and when you arrive there
theres nothing to do but talk about fucking plastic
and wait for the flight back

in my second stint there
i was lucky enough to get private flights
with some rich english geezer who had his own german plane
who went there regularly for business
and let me his spare cupboard
that george had recently vacated

overall rating - corporate tedium blues
positives - the nice ladies in accounts
negatives -  how fucking boring is plastic!?!

we're dooooomed

there once was a game called doom

you could play at killing in your very own room

(not mine)

in the dark age of the computer

you could be a big shooter

as you stumbled about in the gloom



by the standards of today

you might as well be gathering the hay

but between this and wolfenstein

when you're too young for wine

if you could master three or more keys

(i couldnt)

you could lose many a day

un hippy cointreau ou grand marnier?

which was nice...

Bahraini refugee and footballer Hakeem al-Araibi became an Australian citizen following a ceremony in Melbourne on Tuesday.
Al-Araibi was dramatically freed from a Thai prison a month ago when authorities withdrew extradition proceedings against him.
The 25-year-old travelled to Thailand on his honeymoon and was arrested upon arrival on November 27, detained on an Interpol notice issued at Bahrain’s request.
Al-Araibi fled his homeland in 2014 before being granted permanent residence in Australia, where he has since lived and is on the books of semi-professional club Pascoe Vale

white new shoes

once upon a time there was a girl called white new shoes
she lived on rat-tray alley
doubt it was in a castle tho
she had an admirable dedication to eye makeup
badger tail blush etc
she would have given cleopatra the 14th a good seeing-to
she frequented indie type
gotland type 
proper dark midwinter baltic gear
brit pop type clubs
in the early 19th century
you know
a hard core lute enthusiast
rumour had it she was seeing the dj
at one of the clubs
dj Utter Dick Turdpin
tho we never saw any evidence
it could have been hear-say-hear again
a vicious circle
he played good choons
from the bard of brainsworthy grungingtons
to the ballads of likely laddo of the fifth firth
one night she fell down the stairs
and re-arranged her gilet undergarments
oshhhh boshhhh
the onlookers gasped
nobody got the undergarments thoughts on it
i thought she was ravishing
but we drifted apart
not sure what she drifted on
i drifted on a raft made of tempestuous hawthorn...


i saw her once many years later
defending her sows good name with a pitchfork
maybe during the race for africa
she had married into the veldt suburban gentry
and was still white
but forgone her (formerly) new shoes
and wasnt at all interested
in reminiscing about her clubbing daze
and didnt want to hear about her shoes at all!

vale pete, he was a bit like an aeroplane...

so thats what he was on about...

silence? no, tedium

liam 'not that racist any more' neeson contemplates what the fuck he is doing in this shower of shite

 so i finally got around to watching silence

chiefly because some cool dutch bloke in xi'an was so effusive about it

holy fuck it was tedious

dont get me wrong

i love a good slow movie

i recently enjoyed once upon a time in anatolia

super!

and yi yi

genius!

massive explosions and laser beams are not obligatory for a good fillum

though they sure are big fun

but a film about fucking idiotic religious fundamentalists 

going to a foreign land

to brainwash none the wiser suckers

that their particular fairy tale was better than the one they already had

is bound to be a bit shit

unless somebody applied a bit of critical thinking

and hinted at just how fucking ignorant they were

sure

be faithful to the epoch

but how about a bit of enlightenment 

about the existing culture

about their equally valid and millenia old beliefs

(although not as old as nihon nationalists might have you believe)

mr scor fucking chazay has a fine track record

hell

he even beat ben johnson over the 1255 metres

at the twaddle games back in the graties

so one waits

and tom waits

for some punch

some oomph

but no

just the dreary

dragging on

of brainwashed bellends

on their desperate search

to save the fucking saouls

of the nihon jin

who already had it pretty much sorted

with super swords

and quality hair cuts

crazy wooden shoes

and ramen ffs!

its not big

its not clever

its just long

its just boring

(if pretty)

and to cap it all off

the portuguese speak english

as do the nihon jin 

when they are are unfortunate enough 

to spend kwality time with them

the poor local converts are tortured 

and suffer protracted

and excruciating ends

but they got off light

lying there in their own worlds tonight

compared to the 21st century viewing audience

evident racist con man cheat is a racist con man cheat

Cohen: Trump is a racist, con man, cheat

Donald Trump's former attorney Michael Cohen calls President Trump a racist, con man, and cheat during his opening statement before the House Oversight Committee.

 

 

well that wasnt at all blindingly obvious to anybody who wasnt a fucking galactic grade ignoramus

c'est quoi la capitale de la bretagne?

ouais! c'est reindeers!

the beaker people...

...is the name of a cultural phenomenon which occurred in large parts of Western Europe, roughly between 2800 BC and 2200 BC

niggle free zone

they say you shouldnt speak ill of the dead
they say all kinds of bullshit
they can fuck right off
not that im setting sail in that direction
for fucks sake
who even has a yachchchchhct?
itd be nice to say that you are shocked
are you shocked?
did you say it?
was it nice?
the poor fucker was already on the bus
a long time ago
even at primary age
he was scary as fuck
and had sussed the quickest way to the front of the queueue
3rd ringworm god botherers yet again
everybody trying to find their place
he surely knew where to keep his ticket to eternity
firelighters and those eyes
even as a teen he was sussing the best seatage
bogans at the back!
breaking into oddbins
stebbing at the turf
screaming his hatred at his paternal lineage
whilst been hoisted by his own daddard
perhaps it was the innate sense of oblivion that charmed the girls
nothing to lose
when youve already lost it all
inappropriate teddy bears
and those fucking scary eyes
trying to get into the pigs
but that was never going to happen
when youve already booked your biglietto solo andata
but the military are always desperate
they say no only so many times
then i guess he got his official pass
and perhaps inevitably
old niggle went forth
seemingly several years ago
and he checked himself out
collected his swipe card
made forced small talk with the reception staff
they are PAID to be nice to you
never fucking forget that
but i like to imagine that niggle did the right thing
left the sleaze bags in the room
then walked out into the dazzling sunshine

sorry about the bums against the wall...

Wendy's Wendy's Yum!

immagini di londra

ho sognato dell'inghilterra
ho sognato del amico mandato a quel paese
ho sognato che ero nel nord
non mi ricordo dov'ero
ma dovevo tornare a londra
perche quasi sempre devo tornarci
quante fucking volte
ci sono arrivato e partito piu che della citta mia
e il piu lungo che ci ho vissuto sarebbe meno di un mese
lo conosco bene
e non lo conosco per niente
e un posto di transito
mi ricordono la prima sosta la
come anglofilo ero molto contento
facendo il sight seeing
cercando qualcosa fredda da bere nei negozi
delle birre fredde nei pub
che novita!
e la seconda volta
in un ostella di merda vicino a paddington
con i ragazzi italiani, spagnoli, portoghese ecc
dove e' comminciata la catena di eventi che mi ha portato a GE
chiacchierando con S
di notte quando lavorava
purtroppo la M se ne gia andata
la pazza austriaca che ha scoppato nel dormitorio pieno
pero mi ha auitato con mein hut der hat drei ecken?
la simpatica C di valencia
che mi piacerebbe da morire trovare di nuovo
la bellissima L
il povero nacho che lavoravo in un ristorante messicano
gli spagnoli e i portoghesi che lavoravono nella 'cucina'
che mi hanno insegnato che si dice mierda e merda
e vogliono dire la stessa cosa!
l'australiano enorme con il piercing nel naso
pareva un toro
le fucking petegolezze
il cuore rotto dalla propria stupidita
le porte d'argento che mi facevano tanto dolore
il lavoro di merda da un tipo da occhialista
che mi pagavo 3 sterline all'ora
che non mi bastavano per vivere
ogni volta che comprassi un sandwich da pret a manger
sapevo che non dovevi
i baci rubati a regents park
e sopratutto i storpi e calvi che spiavo del ufficio
quanti c'erano!
poi l'embankment
che ho sentito mio...

mould tang slime

should ne'er have forgotten the pot

and ne'er gone the ron

the whiff of drinking to get pished

and obliterate what has gone

is your mug now festering so bold

that grimmest vassal of slime

that thous flatmates cannot but object

to that mould tang slime

that mould tang slime my foe

that mould tang slime

that thous flatmates cannot but object

to that mould tang slime 

its snowing in coober pedy

happy saturnalia mother fuckers

speaking of honey

hace 6 fucking anos conoci una chica increible
estuve en nicaragua
sur la isla de ometepe
una isla bellisima con 2 vulcanos en el lago de nicaragua
era un periodo feisima
no estuve bien para nada
y mas
tenia un resfrio de mierda
en las semanas pasadas he tenido un ear infection
que gane con hacer bucear en isla de mais
pues me han robado mi pasaporte
con la embajada mas cercana en panama o mexico
no solamente el pasaporte
me han robado casi todo mi dinero
mi tablet
mis tarjetas
y mas
pues mientras yo esperaba un documento de viajar de mexico
no era posible haber un pasaporte porque estuve en un pais sin embajada
decidi de hacer un viajecito a ometepe
iba a hacer hasta 2 semana por este documento de mierda
pues, chao a los planes de puerto escondido y oaxaca!
entonces...

we better get going if were gonna stay ahead of the fake honey

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2018-09-03/capilano-and-supermarkets-accused-of-selling-fake-honey/10187628bene, it turns out that in australia companies have been flogging miele that is faker than a dodgy chinese knock-off dishwasher!

instead of honey, they have been using urinary tract infections of beavers, pre plucked rats nose hair , and overly worn sweaty hair man sugar infused g strings...
 http://www.abc.net.au/news/2018-09-03/capilano-and-supermarkets-accused-of-selling-fake-honey/10187628

everything flows

yes this blog lives, fucking barely

cmq, how biutiful is this word and its etymology?

just like honey....

mellifluous (adj.)

early 15c., "sweet, pleasing" (of an odor, a style of
speaking or writing, etc.), from Late Latin mellifluus"flowing
with (or as if with) honey," from Latin mel (genitive mellis)
"honey" (related to Greek meli"honey;" from
PIE root *melit- "honey")
+ -fluus "flowing," from fluere "to
flow" (see fluent). Melifluously; melifluousness.

cow fart-brain fart

questa e' un'immagine di un grande testa di cazzo

si chiama antonio cassano

era un calciatore di tanto talento

ma con un cervello da insetto

mi spiace ai tutti i mei lettori insetti

si direbbe un gabbibo

o un deadshit bogan in australia

allora questa foto e da quando lui si e' firmato per giocare con hellas verona nella serie a

e' la maglia con lo sponsor e' perfetto

il fucking metano nord

cioe' quello che scoreggiano le fucking mucche

e come lui e' un fucking scoreggio dal sud

molto fucking terrone

e' perfetto per lui quando arriva nel nord

ps. apparentemente lui si e' scappato dal club prima di giocare

forse perche cercava un club con uno sponsor piu esatto per lui

come Fucking Feci Deficenti

this a low

wella wella wella
tell you less tell you less
a spiffing most likely total of 9 posts for 2017
didnt even reach double figas
didnt actually reach any figas
tanto per cambiare

its the lowest ever in the dubious underachieving history of this buttlog
ta-rah!

nobody's getting married, were talking about mary II

yeah its been a while... quite a fucking while
it seems the internet and society in general hasnt fallen apart without these missives of runny horseshit
or has it, you trump loving, brexit voting, imaginary sky-man crusading nob cheeses?
will limebeaver inc save the world from its own mind boggling stupidity 2018?
not fucking likely

whats the story?

cabeza de verga...

que equivocado, esa mierda habladora
hay una tercera posibilidad- patria socialista Y muerte...
es lo que hay ahora
y nop, perderan
pero solo despues de que se aseguran que todo el pais pierda con ellos

que fucking verguenza

les combien de quoi?

ecoutez, j'adore les livres de dumas, peut-etre il est mon ecrivain francais favori...
et le livre (et aussie la serie) les trois mousquetaires et vraiment genial..
mais il y a un gros probleme
regardez l'image... on voit tres hommes? on voit des mousquets?
pas du tout!
il devrait etre intutile les quatre epeistes! (putain)

stupid white (and brown) men

the womens healthcare summit in trumplandia



the 'girls council' in saudi arabia


notice anything odd?
anything missing?
fucking cunts

las elecciones ecuadorianas

quien va a ganar? un pedazo de cuerda o un viejo russo muerto desde hace mas de 90 anos?


ES






CONTRA







y el ganador es...
el russo muerto!!!
woooooooooo!

whats great about humidity?

1. absolutely nothing
2. fuck off
3. repeat

making stupid noises...

death to 2016 and ironguts

they have both shat their way out of this world...

i know which one i will miss...

povvo waiting room

for when Tarquin gets a boo boo falling off his horse Rogerio Thunderbuckets during a game of polo...

further brit silliness involving comestibles and great heights

the most british of extreme sportzzzzzz!

taking idioms literally

Elle s'appelle Edmée !

alors, j'ai vu l'enieme film avec le grande louis de funes, Hibernatus.
et pour l'enieme fois il fait une danse/un chant amusant
regardons...

ive got a...

outstanding achievement in the field of arse clownery award

Well i fucking never... thought i would encounter a greater pair of utter clowns in politics

than these two twats

but then the year 2016 in all its infinite wisdom shat out an odiously superior combination...

wasn't there something about an outbreak of psychopathic clowns terrorising innocent civilians of late?

when ed popped and serenaded

once upon a time
we were living in canterwell
not far from the rotunda
not far from chaucey's pad
rollocking chat him
(if a little crusty)
when one day punk legend and medium pizza hater
Ed showed up with his chitarra
we were just sitting on the porchcouch having a beer
and...
i mean
i was a fan
but to have him show up announced
(not to mention uninvited)
how did he find us?
bit stalky if you ask me...
it was an overcast day
he had his leather jacket buttoned up
and was being his usual imperious moody git self
striking poses and working the 2 person crowd
there on the porch
keeping it acoustic
because there was elderly couple in the next unit
and some privileged nob heads next door
he didnt miss a beat
when the audi driver flew down the driveway to unit 4
it truly was touching
his dedication to us
twas almost a serenadage
he looked into our eyes
from under his floppy fringe
and strummed away
and told us about the way he made us feel
and ooh myyy
he made us feel like we were the only people on the porch...

Let's Go Round There

Shiva Nataraja’s Dance Of Destruction At CERN’s Large Hadron Collider

that dodgy indian science dude in nice was clearly full of shit, the ancient indus valley civilization didnt know nuffink about particles...but tis interesting nonetheless.

destruction/creation and.... going round there...

So Long, not so merry Leonard

well the great geezer leonard has checked out
joining the legendary bowie
and the super talented but bit of a twatty princey
and the 24th bootle george martin
along with any sense of humanity or dignity in gringish politics
in addition to the mass stupidity of twatxit

but hey, why not? a cover by the great man from belinlandia

ya ya!

+

                                                                             =

≈

you cunting idiots...

and he's flash...

he's ace...

just fuck off bonox

1. Bono(x) awarded 'Woman of the Year'

2. 
   

   
   

    Follow

   Antoine Hosri @hos_ri

   Well done #Bono, finally breaking through the last glass ceiling faced by nameless, white, super-rich males @glamourmag#womanoftheyear

3. HIGHLIGHTS
4. awful, smug, mediocre prick manages to outtwat himself gloriously.
5.  peak bonox not achieved with album/virus on apple products.
6.  award given by the prestigious 'Look at these cunts (you losers)' magazine

world hopes for tiny meteor strike at precisely wherever the fucking turd is

the pretentious squawker wasn't content with Shit of the Decade, Bell End of the Century or Most Hated Arseclown since the Neolithic awards

1. 

men when were when and answering machines were excitement

de la soul aint dead
not even yet
which is mighty impressive
but back at the crack of the 90's
before the internerd
before the the great the continents sank
you could still go outside...
this song just worked
even for the palest cracker in the paquet
any fool could spend hours trying to put it on their answerving machine
perhaps with a shit copy off the radio
held up in front of the crap micro of the maquina
it might have sounded tinny, distant and shite
but shiiiiit it was the dogs swingers

or so i might have heard

a blindness cup

today was melbourne cup day
it was a public holiday in the state of victorylandia
it is widely celebrated around the country
'the race that stops a nation'
vaffanculo

its tortured hoseshit






its full of redneck boys renting suits and being twats
its full of redneck girls wearing fucking ball gowns and stupid hats
the swill come in from the burbs
they play at being 'classy'
get stupidly drunk
and make fucking idiots of themselves
fucking in the carpark
vomiting on eachother
hitting eachother to show how 'tough' they are

all whilst horses are beaten
at least the ones that make it this far without being killed
to get this far theyve been drugged to hell
best hope they dont get injured
thatd be a bullet
one will win
and some rich carnt will take the money
you cant win any more?
thatd be a bullet



fuck the cup.