whats great about humidity?

1. absolutely nothing
2. fuck off
3. repeat

making stupid noises...

death to 2016 and ironguts

they have both shat their way out of this world...

i know which one i will miss...

povvo waiting room

for when Tarquin gets a boo boo falling off his horse Rogerio Thunderbuckets during a game of polo...

further brit silliness involving comestibles and great heights

the most british of extreme sportzzzzzz!

taking idioms literally

Elle s'appelle Edmée !

alors, j'ai vu l'enieme film avec le grande louis de funes, Hibernatus.
et pour l'enieme fois il fait une danse/un chant amusant
regardons...

ive got a...

outstanding achievement in the field of arse clownery award

Well i fucking never... thought i would encounter a greater pair of utter clowns in politics

than these two twats

but then the year 2016 in all its infinite wisdom shat out an odiously superior combination...

wasn't there something about an outbreak of psychopathic clowns terrorising innocent civilians of late?

when ed popped and serenaded

once upon a time
we were living in canterwell
not far from the rotunda
not far from chaucey's pad
rollocking chat him
(if a little crusty)
when one day punk legend and medium pizza hater
Ed showed up with his chitarra
we were just sitting on the porchcouch having a beer
and...
i mean
i was a fan
but to have him show up announced
(not to mention uninvited)
how did he find us?
bit stalky if you ask me...
it was an overcast day
he had his leather jacket buttoned up
and was being his usual imperious moody git self
striking poses and working the 2 person crowd
there on the porch
keeping it acoustic
because there was elderly couple in the next unit
and some privileged nob heads next door
he didnt miss a beat
when the audi driver flew down the driveway to unit 4
it truly was touching
his dedication to us
twas almost a serenadage
he looked into our eyes
from under his floppy fringe
and strummed away
and told us about the way he made us feel
and ooh myyy
he made us feel like we were the only people on the porch...

Let's Go Round There

Shiva Nataraja’s Dance Of Destruction At CERN’s Large Hadron Collider

that dodgy indian science dude in nice was clearly full of shit, the ancient indus valley civilization didnt know nuffink about particles...but tis interesting nonetheless.

destruction/creation and.... going round there...

So Long, not so merry Leonard

well the great geezer leonard has checked out
joining the legendary bowie
and the super talented but bit of a twatty princey
and the 24th bootle george martin
along with any sense of humanity or dignity in gringish politics
in addition to the mass stupidity of twatxit

but hey, why not? a cover by the great man from belinlandia

ya ya!

+

                                                                             =

≈

you cunting idiots...

and he's flash...

he's ace...

just fuck off bonox

1. Bono(x) awarded 'Woman of the Year'

2. 
   

   
   

    Follow

   Antoine Hosri @hos_ri

   Well done #Bono, finally breaking through the last glass ceiling faced by nameless, white, super-rich males @glamourmag#womanoftheyear

3. HIGHLIGHTS
4. awful, smug, mediocre prick manages to outtwat himself gloriously.
5.  peak bonox not achieved with album/virus on apple products.
6.  award given by the prestigious 'Look at these cunts (you losers)' magazine

world hopes for tiny meteor strike at precisely wherever the fucking turd is

the pretentious squawker wasn't content with Shit of the Decade, Bell End of the Century or Most Hated Arseclown since the Neolithic awards

1. 

men when were when and answering machines were excitement

de la soul aint dead
not even yet
which is mighty impressive
but back at the crack of the 90's
before the internerd
before the the great the continents sank
you could still go outside...
this song just worked
even for the palest cracker in the paquet
any fool could spend hours trying to put it on their answerving machine
perhaps with a shit copy off the radio
held up in front of the crap micro of the maquina
it might have sounded tinny, distant and shite
but shiiiiit it was the dogs swingers

or so i might have heard

a blindness cup

today was melbourne cup day
it was a public holiday in the state of victorylandia
it is widely celebrated around the country
'the race that stops a nation'
vaffanculo

its tortured hoseshit






its full of redneck boys renting suits and being twats
its full of redneck girls wearing fucking ball gowns and stupid hats
the swill come in from the burbs
they play at being 'classy'
get stupidly drunk
and make fucking idiots of themselves
fucking in the carpark
vomiting on eachother
hitting eachother to show how 'tough' they are

all whilst horses are beaten
at least the ones that make it this far without being killed
to get this far theyve been drugged to hell
best hope they dont get injured
thatd be a bullet
one will win
and some rich carnt will take the money
you cant win any more?
thatd be a bullet



fuck the cup.

Schnaa Wars, Episode Phwoar, A New Hope (Sandoval and the Warm Inventions album)

suspiro profundisimo...

racism in fitba? naaaaaaah mate!

Fifa disbands its anti-racism taskforce declaring that the job is done

well thats good then.

football has massive problems with racist twats

in eastern europe there are racist turds screaming abuse at black players on a regular basis

but thats all fixed now

because fifa has decided that everything is peachy

despite doing absolutely fuck all

they put up signs saying 'kick out racism'

then do zero about it

when a teams fans shout racist shit at players

fifa fines then 20 centavos

when it happens for the 120th consecutive week

fifa really puts their foot down

its 35 centavos!

buts everything is lovely

because the anti racism taskforce says that its all sorted

theres no need for them any more

poof! 

theyve gone!

theres no more racism in football

yay!

theyve probably also wiped out racism from the face of the earth too

cured aids no doubt

invented a perpetual motion machine and sorted nuclear fusion

theyve just been too modest to point it out.

wankers

KKKramer

what a carnt...

ahh igirisu.... what the fook are you like?

series 7 is looking pretty racy...

but where are the dragons?

blog existential status update

Scarafaggio

oggi parliamo del grande pittore italiano Scarafaggio

Lui e' riconosciuto come il piu grande pittore di sua epoca 

(La fine del 16 ° secolo, dei primi 17 ° secolo)

Ha vissuto una vita tempestuosa, con tanto alcool, prostitute, violenza e anche omocidio

E sopratutto famoso per la  realistica osservazione dello stato umano, sia fisico che emotivo, con un uso drammatico della luce, e' ha avuto una influenza formativa sulla pittura barocca.

una rara immagine del pittore a lavoro

un esempio di chiaroscuro, Madonna dei pellegrini c.1604

sappiamo bene che lui amava bere

un suo capalavoro 'San Gerolamo in meditazione' c.1607

'Davide con la testa di Goliath' c1605

avvolte gli piaceva solamente girovagare ubriaco

il suo lavoro ha ispirato tanti imitatori

ed alcuni contrafattori non molto convincenti

im a dolt now

it was the summer of 1988-1989

bongeovi sucked arse

little alfonse got his first tooth

homer had just got his dream job

oh wait...

boys who like girls who liked trousers

short round became tall slim

a haircut was paid for

interest rates fluctuate

new chums brought about expanded horizons

trub was looming like a large looming trub cloud

a strand brought a cassingle to skool

the rest was blistery...

singing above the karmic jungle

not that many lifetimes ago
in the steamy jungle of central america
i melded my ancient worlds and beliefs...

Any House wine?

conclusions-

drugs are bad mkay?

her boyfriend/hub was a cunt

her father was a cunt

the papsmeararsi are cunts

the music industry is full of cunts

leaches that flock to fame are fucking cunts

she was fucking talented

she acted like a bit of a dick

she was a mess

and over her head

the filth media love nothing more than taking down a famous woman

popular culture can go fuck itself with a 30 foot spiked anal intruder

what drove nacho nuts

this is nacho

he was from spain

he was called nacho because thats the common nickname for ignacio

he worked as a waiter in a mexican restaurant in londres

he hated it

people kept making jokes 

eg 'hey nacho bring me some nachos!'

poor old nacho

titter titter

regrets, ive had a few...

fence monsters 5

The Dulcet Twatterer

fence monsters 4

The Higher than thou Vombatus

fence monsters 3

The Persistence of Rogerer

spanish chess

the sporttttz!

Atherleticons!
1. Track
people run! they run some more, sometimes they even jump! huzzah!
they run fast, sometimes for a short while, sometimes for a long time, At times they even walk with outstanding buttshakery!
2.Field
people throw things as far and hard as possible, sometimes even themselves.

Watering!
much like athletics, people run but with their arms too and in water, sometimes for a short time, sometimes for a long time. there are all kinds of waving.
People also throw themselves off big sticks and into the water or play water polo, where people ride seahorses and THE stupidest thing ever invented, synchronised wankery. Smile!

(Speaking of Wankery its) Horse Dancing!
yes its fucking epically stupid, horses dance about and nobs sit on top of them.

Weightlifting!

big fat blokes lift up sticks with heavy things on them, and we learn who ate all the pies.

Shooting stuff!
people shoot at stuff in all manner of ways, standing up, sitting down or hanging off monkey bars.

Gymnasticating!
3 real old girls and little overly muscled tank shaped dudes run, swing and jump.  *they even prance with pwetty ribbons.it is all highly admirable but fucking daft.

Nauticalus!
For some reason 'athletes' boat it up too. they sail around in circles and sit backwards and row like cunts, always in a straight line.

Bicycling!
Loadsa drugs right here! pedal, spit and shoot up! sometimes on the road, sometimes around in circles.  In one event they chase an electrified bunny rabbit, or something.

Fight Club!
On occasion people beat each other up at the olympics too. sometimes in an asian way,(with bonus pyjamas) sometimes in a rather gay dry-humpy way. sometimes people just punch the crap out of each other or pretend to try to stab each other.

Games with Balls!
at times people play games with balls, they gang up and smash the ball about. sounds good? often not. Fudball is there, sort of. Idiotic wugby is there, and handjoball and volleyball and bikiniball too!
Why?!?

MaxiGolf!
what the actual fucking fuck? I demand Teeball and Newcomb!

Parlour Games and Teenage Twattery!
The most mysterious events involve bullshit things that spotty twats play. Such as table tennis, why not pool or darts?  Gnarli Rad BMX racing and Skateboarding, yes skateboarding, Bulkace! Dude! Whats next, getting high and tossing off?

the olympics at river of january

its time to shovel shit, suspend democracy, cheat your fucking arse off, bankrupt countries to build pointless white elephants instead of improving education or social services.... huzzah, its the ollyimpics at river of january in this year of fucking nobody's lord, this one!


so how are things looking?

Hooked on smack
The russian team will still be allowed to attend the games, despite being so far out of their gourds that they won't be able to stop giggling about getting a brazilian and will miss their events.
nobody has been this stoned since the last cheech and chong movie.

Hooked on corruption
the ioc (internet olive craptoads) are as corrupt as buggery, as are brazilian politicians. what could possibly go wrong?

Favelalala
the poorest inhabitants of rio live in slums, they cant afford proper education/housing etc. so how in fuck will they benefit from the games? probably about none!

Pollution, Are you coming to my town, or i am i coming to yours?
apart from the zika wika wiggida wak virus causing babies to be born with little heads and little brains, from just a mosquito bite,  they keep finding scrofula and the black death in the water. doggy paddle 200m anybody?

Bargain
along with the world cup, brazils government has spent 45245451 gazillion dollars on building big pointless shit.  brazil is in economic crisis and basic services are appalling. hundreds of hospitals/schools etc instead?


well at least it will be safe wont it?

life does not speed up

snot
dribble
sniff
cough
splutter
blow
sigh
moan
ache
ouch
cough
vague
phlegm
wince
gulp
grunt
tedium
sniff
ooze
dull
sneeze


fuck it!