englisc innit?

 

those odd noises you make

or try to make

could have sounded very different indeed

if

that bill bastard had stayed at (his newish) home

that his grandfather had stolen

in an impure manner

if

later clever clogses

didnt try to make englisc (and themselves) sound more cleverer

by ramming it full of latin and greek terms

about science etc

if

other clever clogseses

hadnt kept dipping into french

to (again) make themselves sound more clevererer

if 

other clever clogseseses

hadnt violently rammed the square germanic peg that was englisc

into the round hole of latinate grammar

if

in the last 400 or so years the inhabitants of englisclandia

had kept it in their rather small pants

and not gone off pillaging large parts of the planet

for their goods/people

and most saliently 

for their interesting sounding words

if 

those things hadnt happened

ðon englisc ðrýð faran âwrîtan lîcian ðês!     

(or probably not)