Thursday, May 29, 2025

just what i needed, a diversion to ankara







after 40 plus looong hours

of ubers, airports, confusing sweaty shuttle buses, limping painfully, hotels, buffets, spanish translation, delays and uncomfortably interminable hours in cattle class

i was pleased to overfly anatolia

nearly finalmente fucking there!


later after two failed attempts to land ad isty besty

because of 'weather'

we were diverted (non that kind)

to ankara 

an hour away

to then sit for 3 excruciating hours parked on the tarmac

awaiting news as to when what would happen next

(or as to what on earth was going on)


as we sat there

in the proverbial dark

tempers started to fray

squabbling, bickering, like children

i played with the balinese pribumi

called over translations to victor

(la mayoria sin novedades)

and tried quietly to not go insane

in this simulacrum of a terrible hostage movie


time dragged as if by an exceedingly expensive chinese dragging device

the nightmarish farce continued

with the stewards calling for a 'medical person '

and passengers swarming around the patient


eventually they calmed the anxious masses

by doling out some odd nutty snacks

only for an announcement reminding us all that smoking is not permitted

as somebody had been at it in the loos


civilisations rose and fell

during which a well dressed bloke in the next row starting chatting on his phone

by assiduously eavesdropping i learned that he worked for the hairline

and that it was the only flight diverted from isty 

(the others were all happily atterrando)

because sichuan airlines are only one not to have category 3 capable landing systems!


50 plus hours

door to door

a side trip to ankara?

that was just what i needed!



Tuesday, May 27, 2025

un rongorongo'un




lo sapevate?

gli abitanti dell'isola di pasqua (rapa nui) avevono il proprio testo
non erano deficenti analfabeti
e non avevono fatto l'atto di auto destruzione piu famoso del mondo
eh no!
ancora non si sa tradurrlo
ma si sa che fu concepito dopo il 13 secolo
e si chiama
rongorongo
(forse il nome piu figo di un testo)


Sunday, May 25, 2025

dont fancy that dirty brown crap?


limebeaver inc recommends...



 



but there will be consequences...



Friday, May 23, 2025

apo is a bastard and he will always be a bastard



 exemple de 'l'art de rue' juste en face de l'hôtel
intitule - 'ce que ale pense de apo'
(grace a google lens)



quand on arrive a l'autre bout du monde

et on s'est déchiré le tendon du jarret

et se peut a peine marcher

(et tout est en putain montée)

il faut essayer de trouver le divertissement à son entourage immédiat

parfois avec 'l'art de rue'...


Tuesday, May 20, 2025

Weird Al hace lo Bob





aparte del hecho de que weird al es divertido, es tambien un genio

porque todo las frases de la cancion son palindromos

listo eh?!



y ten cuidado de la aibofobia - el miedo de los palindromos!



Saturday, May 17, 2025

you loved cornflakes, cornflakes, cornflakes, cornflakes, cornflakes...

 

... cornflakes, cornflakes, cornflakes, cornflakes, cornflakes





why not try...

 


 (a grammatically correct sentence in English that is often presented as an example of how homonyms and homophones can be used to create complicated linguistic constructs through lexical ambiguity.)


you know you want to!


Tuesday, May 13, 2025

tale of the tape



its the dullest/stickiest tale of around...

 


Sunday, May 11, 2025

when in doubt, quote nobody...



he/she/they/qualcosa isnt wrong here!



Friday, May 09, 2025

pendant que on parle des dindes...

 




quand j'etais a mi voyage au aeroport sabiha gocken

j'avais faim donc j'achete' un hindi fume sandwich (incroyablement cher)

comme preferez vous votre sandvich hindi? स्मोक्ड! achaa!

aussi j'ai ri tout seul pour le nom du 'cafe', secco!

seche!

c'est l'oppose de comme je voudrais mon sandvich!


Restez dans les parages pour plus de bêtises polyglottes!



Wednesday, May 07, 2025

and remember kids...



 

if youre ever abroad and need some quick cash because youre jonesing for your chicken rental fix

you can always flog off your bestie for a life of sexual servitude for a lazy dozen lira

and get on down the road to your local rentalist of choice!



Monday, May 05, 2025

word of weak - cataglottism



otherwise known as 'bisous francais' or snogging

 


Friday, May 02, 2025

This was sparklehorse



 

a fantastic doc about mark linkous and his musical output under the name sparklehorse
he made some fantastic music
often in fi so lo
that it could be called negative fi
his vocals would often float in
like some experimentalist disembodied apparition
and the outcome often was laced with an undeniable sweetness amongst the fatalism

he was far from mentally stable
and despite his quasi genius
he was far from fiscally stable
he had a shack
up in the hills
of the 1940s

he collaborated with/befriended a whos who of indie cool
the highlight being his album dreamt for light years in the belly of a mountain with dangermouse (not that one)
its an absolute stunner



Wednesday, April 30, 2025

et ouais je suis revenu




et c'etait genial
les gens tres sympas
la cuisine delicieuse
la nature spectaculaire
les batiments historiques
et ceux encores plus vieux

et on ne parle pas des mots turcs avec les racines francaises

vive la turquie!



 

Thursday, March 27, 2025

things are getting..



 

only a few days now

everybody that has to be notified

has been notified

almost everything has been turned upside down

hope i can still find that thang

that thang i will need in week 3

it looks like that other puffa puffa wont make it

so im stuck with the big puffa puffa

rigoberto has his cypher

and his activation code is imminent

don mucho is locked in for the showdown in bisanzio

doña no menos is all go for telmesso

and el hombre del mar is set for the double date in bisanzio and tarso

the linea stella bianca know the score

im hoping for an ocean view

and comfy accomodation at the first port of call

in the exotic east of middle earth

(though not at all east from this paddle pop stand) 

to sleep off the ludes and laudanum

fingers crossed michifu knows the trapano

after all

hes an experienced mano del rodeo these day


and i cant see the fucking hour!



Saturday, March 22, 2025

Prewenghi




another tasty slice of alice lowe
sometimes patchy but always entertainingly odd and slightly scary
if you like the work of julia davis
you will most likely enjoy alices work
whats it all about?
an unborn baby instructing her mother to kill?
ohhh yeahhh!




Tuesday, March 18, 2025

dove la gente ce...





queste sono le venti citta piu grandi del mondo

e sono bestie!

e sono davvero enormi


le statistiche-

la maggiore parte sono in asia

quattordici su venti

quattro sono in china

e tre sono in india


quattro sono in america

una in europa

una in africa


ne ho visitato nove
incluso le tre piu grandi

niente male ehi?


le osservazioni-

tokio e una marea di modernismo e le luci LED

giacarta si offre il traffico piu pazzo immaginabile

nuova delhi vince per la follia per il cricket e degli odori intriganti

shanghai e gia il futuro, oggi giorno

cairo si distingue per un panorama di ultimi piani incomputi (per ragioni fiscali)

citta del messico che si survola per due eternita prima di atterrare

bangkok e dove di piu si pesano l'umidita e il calore (osh!)

pechino e vivace, storica ed imperiale

buenos aires e una miscela avvenente di europa del sud e sudamerica



e tu?

quante ne hai visitato?

risposte su una cartalina virtuale...



Sunday, March 16, 2025

heres where the story (quase) begins





 
 "Set to an upbeat, jangly guitar-pop backdrop, Harriet Wheeler enchants listeners with her brisk, crystalline vocals and a crisp melodic hook. The song’s feel is evocative of a breezy, moderately cool yet still lovely autumn afternoon" - popmatters


fucking swoon!


Wednesday, March 12, 2025

Men(talists)




mr garland has done it again

shit bag husband dies/commits suicide
traumatised wife books an old country house to get away and get her head together
the owner is odd
the priest is odd
the school kid is odd
all the people in the pub are odd

everybody is fucking odd

chuck in some old skool folk biz
in the form of the green man and sheila na gig
and everthing goes absolutely bat shit bonkers



Monday, March 10, 2025

Englisch, die am wenigsten germanische ...




... und zugleich die am meisten germanische Sprache


wunderbar, Arschlöcher!



Friday, March 07, 2025

you can all just kiss off into the air...




behind my back i can see them stare...



i hope you know that this will go down on your permanent record...